Meet the Parents (1148 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.42 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by heavenswalls <jbstizout.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2003-06-26 14:56:54 EDT
[Greg is trying to fit his large bag into the overhead bin.]
Flight Attendant: I'm sorry, sir, you're gonna have to check that.
Greg "Gaylord" Focker: I got it.
Flight Attendant: No, I'm sorry, that bag won't fit.
Greg "Gaylord" Focker: No, no, I'm not--hey, I'm not checking my bag, okay?
Flight Attendant: There's no need to raise your voice, sir.
Greg "Gaylord" Focker: I'm not raising my voice. THIS WOULD BE RAISING MY VOICE TO YOU, okay? I don't want to check my bag, okay? And, by the way, your airline? You SUCK at checking bags, okay, because I already did that once and you lost it, and then I had everything screwed up very badly for me, okay?
Flight Attendant: Well, I can assure you that your bag will be placed safely below deck with the other luggage...
Greg "Gaylord" Focker: Oh, yeah? How do you know my bag will be safe below with the other luggage? Huh? Are you physically going to take my bag and put it beneath the plane? Are you going to go right now outside, with the guys with the earmuffs, and go put it in there?
Flight Attendant: No...
Greg "Gaylord" Focker: No? Okay, then shut your piehole and listen to me when I say that I am FINISHED with the checking-of-the-bags CONVERSATION!
Greg "Gaylord" Focker: The only way that I would ever let go of my bag would be if you came over here right now and tried to pry it from my dead, lifeless fingers, okay? If you can get it from my kung-fu grip, then you can come and have it, okay? Otherwise, step off, bitch.
This pretty much sums up the attitude of the situation where Greg (Ben Stiller) is pissed off because he's been kicked out of his girlfriends parent's house after spending a few days with them.
I can remember a couple of times when I was younger when meeting girlfriend's parents and the awkward situations that ensued. So, what are your 'Meet the Parents' stories?...
User Reviews
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2003-06-26 23:01:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I didn't make 56 a year out of college. What are you doing?
Submitted by HeavensWalls (user info) at 2003-06-26 15:57:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I believe it would be 2 words Mick. Probably used best in conjunction with the 'single' word that also has yet to make it into the dictionary: "dumbass"
Ex. - "Fuck off dumbass"...
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2003-06-26 15:57:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fuck (f k) Vulgar Slang
v. fucked, fuck·ing, fucks
v. tr.
1. To have sexual intercourse with.
2. To take advantage of, betray, or cheat; victimize.
3. Used in the imperative as a signal of angry dismissal.
v. intr.
1. To engage in sexual intercourse.
2. To act wastefully or foolishly.
3. To interfere; meddle. Often used with with.
http://dictionary.reference.com/
I am a firm believer in separation of family and members of the opposite sex. The first time family should meet the b/f is at the wedding rehearsal dinner.
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2003-06-26 15:52:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
has fuck even made it into our standard english dictionary?
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2003-06-26 15:51:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
or 2
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2003-06-26 15:50:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
fuckoff. is that one word?
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2003-06-26 15:50:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ya know if i tell the story bout meeting the father of my first wife, everyone will say: oh that silly mick trying to act like a bad ass.
so fuckoff!
Submitted by HeavensWalls (user info) at 2003-06-26 15:45:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Mick - Actually, I haven't toked in about a year, thanks. I copied and pasted the script from some site. I knew they left something out...
Submitted by turveytopsy (user info) at 2003-06-26 15:41:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I dated a morman once... Needless to say meeting her parents ended our relationship.
Submitted by Manfre (user info) at 2003-06-26 15:32:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I met one of my ex's parents and when I met the mother I was mortified... I hit on the mother at the mall once because shes a complete MILF and she remembered it... It was a very ackward situation...
Another time I went to the driving range with my recent ex's father and I broke one of his clubs. I never played golf and when I go to the driving range with friends we usually jerk around with the putters and shit... Well he gave me one of the heavy ones to use and I broke it... I didnt mean to and was trying REAL hard to do good with it... It wouldnt have been so bad if it werent a $2000 club... He didnt make me pay for it though... The guy was loaded...
Then another time I got caught screwing my gf at the time in the "good" living room... You know the living room that noone uses and has just show furniture in? Well yeah I nut on the couch cause we were doing it raw dog and I pulled out and got some on the couch when I was shooting her face... Well needless to say the parents noticed the protein deposit on the couch... Her mother never said anything to me directly but she did say something to my ex... It was totally worth it cause we banged on every piece of the furniture in that room...
Then with my most recent ex I ate her out on the kitchen table when her rents werent home and she got a lil drippy doo on the table... I dont think her dad ever noticed but the best part about that was I sat at the head of the table where he sits and ate her out like that... That was a good time...
Thats it for my bad stories...
Submitted by turveytopsy (user info) at 2003-06-26 15:31:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
56k/year at 23 years old is pretty good compared to the jobs some of my friends are getting out of college.
I say that 56k/year out of college is not too shabby at all, I think that puts you in the upper half of your graduating classes' salary level.
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2003-06-26 15:21:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
what the fuck hw?? you left out the best part. THE BOMB!
are you on the pipe again?
Submitted by Random Joe at 2003-06-26 15:20:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
56k/year is chump change.
Submitted by IndianOcean (user info) at 2003-06-26 15:12:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
FUC<K FUCK FUCK FUKC UFKC UFKDUFKDUKFUKDUKUDKUKFUUFUDKUDFKUKDFUDFK I HATE WORK.. i hate worK.. I HATE WOKWEERASDJKFJAKJKIWE RIOAWFJJAKSFJAKSJFJAKASDJKJFAKSJ
I FEEL LIKE CRYING RIGHT NOW... I HATE HIS SHIT HOLE PLACE CALLED WORK... IT BLOWS SO MANY CHUNKS.. GOD THE FUCKIN MONEY IS SOO GOOD I CAN'T QUIT..
56K A YEAR FOR 23 YEAR OLD.. COME ON.. TELL ME THAT'S NOT GOOD.. FUCK THIS SUCKS.. SO MUCH...CUBE LIFE SUCKS... I LIVE A CUBE LIFE.. NO INTERACTION WITH HAPPY PEOPLE.
Submitted by catscradle (user info) at 2003-06-26 15:08:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My girlfriend's family is a Christian one. Not fanatics or anything, but they are still rather straight laced people. I think they're swell. However, there have been some awkward moments. One time, we (me and her family, including her mom, dad, siblings, and a couple of relatives) were watching a movie. The movie was, I kid you not, Scooby Doo. There's a part on the airplane, where whatever his name is meets the red head girl. She introduces herself as "Mary Jane". Pothead guy says, "Mary Jane, that's my favorite name"
I snorted quite audibly. Actually, it was more like a guffaw. Needless to say, no one else got the joke, and they looked at me with puzzled expressions.
"Are you a pothead focker?"
Submitted by txyankee (user info) at 2003-06-26 15:05:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
that has to be the funniest part of the movie
my run in with the parent(her mom) was one morning naked on the couch with her
daughter, long story short, we had gotten really drunk and went to her place to
"have relations" because her mother wasnt home. we wound up passing out on the
couch only to be awakin the next morning by her mother, both completely naked
laying on her living room sofa. even worse was i had the biggest morning wood
possible so as im running around apoligizing and looking for my pants i knocked
over her mom's favorite statue.....
never saw her or her mother again(mom probably got jealous and wanted me for herself)
-Alan Focker
Submitted by hendrixjrr (user info) at 2003-06-26 15:04:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Bad post! It might get some funny replies, but this post is shit!
Jason