Coporate Life II (449 hits)
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Submitted by Saffron (View user info) at 2006-03-30 17:23:39 EST
Corporate HR :
I would like to thank you up front for your guidance in dealing with my issue of 1.9.06 ( http://www.ubersite.com/m/82601) . Your directive to offer the offending individual further training via " Managerial Etiquette : A Retrospective in Personal Hygiene " was stroke of genius. Who knew such remarkable presentations existed ?
I am requesting at this time that the training be upgraded to mandatory. I was told this morning by one of her direct reports that, " She smells like the grease trap at Hooters. I'm pretty sure she hasn't washed her hair in a month - that cosplay, Sanrio looking knit atrocity she calls a hat isn't fooling anyone. Plus, she's like 40 and it's just disturbing."
I could not get confirmation of this statement as her other direct reports quit earlier this month. One stating, " I refuse to work for a dumba** that smells like a goat took a sh*t in a carton of fetid milk.", during his exit interview ( notes have been uploaded to his file for further review ) . I guess it's true that Americans are using more profanity these days, although I did overhear management indicating that the corporate culture would, "Need to get over this sh*t , it's language, it changes and things that were once considered offensive lose meaning over time.". I assume I will be copied on the memo when this policy change is made. I look forward to the day when I am not called into investigation meetings about the use of profanity in the workplace. It is a very slippery slope when one tries to delimitate cursing at someone from peppering your dialogue with curse words. It is a sensitive matter indeed and as our two cultures continue to blend post acquisition I suspect these investigations will taper off.
Now onto the issue at hand.
As you know we currently reside in what I call a "free range" office set up. This has worked well for us. The lack of cube boundaries fosters a collaborative environment and I know security was very excited about all of the monitors being in plain view. Evidently, other sites have had issues of late with lost productivity and law suits due to T1 enabled, fast and easy access to porn. Who knew people did that at work ? I was also very pleased by your invitation to next months symposium on Bloggers and am curious to find out what my colleagues think about terminative action being taken against employees who air company laundry online. Personally, I think it's treasonous and the suits of wrongful termination popping up on this matter a waste of the court's time. I mean really, you have to draw the line on free speech somewhere!
Anyway, back to the issue at hand. I recently received a request for approval of 10 each 4' h. x 3' w. privacy screens, white poly over MDF, for a single individual. I promptly set up a meeting with this individual to determine why such expenditure would be necessary. The findings were most disturbing.
The employee in question stated that he required the ability to block his line of sight due to what he deemed to be the "offensive wardrobe" of a coworker. He did not want to make it apparent that it was this individual that was the issue, as he is very sensitive to the embarrassment it could also cause her. Thus, the request for 10 each of the above mentioned privacy screens, exceeding the standard request of 2 to 4.
It seems that one of our more fashionable managers has made an unknowing victim of herself and I need to know the corporate guide lines for dealing with this issue as it is utterly outside my realm of experience.
She is a very team oriented manager and is just as often as not swiveled towards those around her rather than straight at her PC. It seems that when this individual sits, her skirts rise. She is generously framed and they don't simply rise the standard inch or so, but rather a knee length skirt quickly recedes to near garter belt level when she sits down. She also is evidently not in the habit of sitting with her legs together and does not wear under garments.
Needless to say, I have one employee who requires protection from the disturbing site and one employee who needs to be delicately told to dress more appropriately without opening ourselves up to a lawsuit. My inclination is to pull her aside and tell her to "cover up the oyster before you blind someone !". Obviously I have been working quite diligently at repressing my natural inclinations since the now infamous "Phlegm Boy" incident.
I have approved the requisition for the privacy screens. Should I wait until more employees complain or is there an approved course of action for telling an employee she regularly exposes her naughty bits to her co-workers and to please stop ? Should I buy privacy screens for all employees or perhaps start gathering quotations for cubes ? I consulted with the Employee Relations Attorney and he was unsure if this fell into the realm of sexual harassment, but was certain that both employees would have a case for "hostile work environment" if this issue was not handled immediately and with great tact and suggested I come to you for guidance. I am happy to set up a conference call for later this afternoon, should you wish to chat more candidly with Legal.
I have made all of the appropriate notations in both employees' files and am hoping that the privacy screens and an investigation into the allocations of inappropriate, albeit unknowing, behaviors and the subsequent steps for correction will suffice should we be called to court.
I will be calling a meeting later this week to discuss my proposed dress code policy changes, as I am unsure that you can require any one employee to dress differently in an environment with an open policy. To be safe we should work with legal to draft the appropriate changes to the existing policy and assure these changes are enforceable with minimal risk.
Your guidance in the interim is much appreciated.
User Reviews
Submitted by Saffron (user info) at 2006-03-30 18:03:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-03-30 17:54:06 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Saffron (user info) at 2006-03-30 17:25:31 (#)
Ranking: 0
grrrrr title misspell. sorry and bring on the crucifiction.
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haha, you made a typo in your reply about a typo!
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I'd claim truly clever play on word but I'm obviously not that clever.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-03-30 17:54:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Saffron (user info) at 2006-03-30 17:25:31 (#)
Ranking: 0
grrrrr title misspell. sorry and bring on the crucifiction.
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haha, you made a typo in your reply about a typo!
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2006-03-30 17:50:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Like the smiling, pigtailed 7 year old who was kidnapped and raped because she wanted candy, became withdrawn and untrusting, then homeless and drug-addicted and sociopathic, then paranoid and psychotic and finally a forgotten suicide in a dirty alley of a town wheren no one knew her real name, this had potential.
Submitted by Saffron (user info) at 2006-03-30 17:25:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
grrrrr title misspell. sorry and bring on the crucifiction. I'll be over here in the corner weeping in shame.