Ubersite
Home - About Us - Contact
"Good teams win games. Bad teams have meetings." - Ozzie Guillen
Welcome to Ubersite!
Search Ubersite
Search for:

Most Recently Reviewed
  1. New Product Evaluation: C...
  2. When will women stop sendi...
  3. This site should be more l...
  4. A Stoned Question
  5. Wanted
  6. I thought I killed my cons...
  7. Sleep now?
  8. This isn't creepy at all...
  9. You're All Going to Die So...
  10. I'm Back!
more...
Most Heated
  1. Sleep now? (67 heat)
  2. What's your Theme Song, Ub... (37 heat)
  3. This isn't creepy at all... (24 heat)
  4. Wuthering Heights – A book... (21 heat)
  5. Super Yum? (19 heat)
  6. Super Important Question (18 heat)
  7. When will women stop sendi... (17 heat)
  8. 2012: It Could Happen... (15 heat)
  9. SPT, I know why Shlongy di... (15 heat)
  10. Stop! Weathertime, Boring... (15 heat)
more...
Most Viewed Messages
  1. The Ultimate MS Paint: It... (1216998 hits)
  2. "If I cum now, will it be ... (774421 hits)
  3. How The Hell Do I Get Out ... (507778 hits)
  4. Exploiting Peer-to-Peer Ne... (427448 hits)
  5. Motivating the Weekend (383817 hits)
  6. How To Pick Up Chicks (352619 hits)
  7. Knockoff porn movie titles (327913 hits)
  8. My J-Date Misadventure (317791 hits)
  9. Masturbating on Skype with... (313965 hits)
  10. Badass Australian Cows (275520 hits)
more...
Most Viewed Authors
  1. Bart Cilfone (1573205 hits)
  2. S. William Moore II (1562777 hits)
  3. Razor (1536834 hits)
  4. JMG114 (1497443 hits)
  5. Sydeburnz (1433870 hits)
  6. MickGinny (1400920 hits)
  7. loki (1144135 hits)
  8. Jonukah (1084747 hits)
  9. VACANCY (1072382 hits)
  10. Sayonara (1066588 hits)
  11. weeeeep (1027345 hits)
  12. Obama Fofana (994345 hits)
  13. Yankees! (980370 hits)
  14. Tom (923517 hits)
  15. THE MIGHTY APOLLO (847866 hits)
  16. I Got A Life So I Don't Ha... (834004 hits)
  17. ++TIGER++ ++LILLY++ (815597 hits)
  18. Sorrell (805901 hits)
  19. Wally (798484 hits)
  20. RIP™ (779155 hits)
  21. Tremble, hetero swine! (760715 hits)
  22. Phallic_Cymbals (752534 hits)
  23. RON PAUL 2008! (749694 hits)
  24. HIDDEN101 (741692 hits)
  25. Will Zone (728446 hits)
  26. T then ToM (720256 hits)
  27. User Blocked (714737 hits)
  28. iddqd (701391 hits)
  29. kaos-king (688128 hits)
  30. kaos-king (670620 hits)
Click here to return to the list of messages.

All Tomorrow's Parties (1292 hits)

Category: None
Labels: one-part_stories youth_decay

Rating: 1.67 on 50 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Labels:

Submitted by Stagger Lee (View user info) at 2006-03-31 00:26:54 EST


In some senses, this shit was over before it began. I mean; it was never going to be a big one. But now, with the last of the boring fuckers pouring out of the house behind me and into the street, I begin to appreciate just how pointless this evening was. I'm sitting on the kerb, with my back to the house. I've been out here for maybe ten minutes, just waiting for the dross to move on, smoking and nursing a drink in a pitiful little paper cup.

Janice sits down next to me. "Look," she says, "Fuck 'em. You don't care what they think, do you?"

I laugh, but it's a touch forced. "Hardly," I say.

She's understandably doubtful. "Yeah? Then why all the moping?"

"Hush," I tell her, and I lean across and place a finger over her thin lips. "I want to watch this."

I point across the street, where a couple of kids in the group leaving the house have squared off to each other, pointing at each other and yelling. The one on the left is Paul, I think. The one on the right is...Rob, perhaps. I'm not sure.

"Paul was getting his freak on with that other guy's girl," I inform Janice. I stub my smoke out on the kerb. "This other guy thinks he needs to fight him about this, when everyone knows she's a whore anyway."

I don't need to look at Janice to know that she's put on her 'shocked' face.

"That's not very nice," she says, and I almost burst out laughing at the oh-so-proper tone in her voice. "And that other guy's name is Shaun, I think."

I shoot her a quick glance. The fuck does she know? I still think he's Rob.

Across the street, Paul swings a punch at Maybe-Rob. He misses; because he's so goddamn pissed I'm amazed he can see. As Paul stumbles, off-balance from the force of his own swing, Maybe-Rob steps in and elbows him in the face. I can hear Paul's nose break from here. Blood spurts all over the white sleeve of Maybe-Rob's expensive wanker's jacket. He steps back in disgust, shaking his arm as if he's trying to shake off the blood.

Paul hits the ground, and rolls onto his back, clutching his face. He doesn't keep that up for long though, he stumbles back to his feet. Not bothering to attempt a more clinical style this time, he charges Maybe-Rob and bowls him the fuck over. This has all taken maybe thirty seconds, I don't know, my sense of time isn't that great. Now Paul and Maybe-Rob's friends are getting involved, some trying to break it up, some just trying to get the boot in themselves. It's mayhem.

I chuckle and sit back, lighting a fresh cigarette. I look at Janice, who's eyeing me mistrustfully.

"You going to do anything?" she asks, in a rather petulant voice.

"No, not at all," I say. "I barely know those two and I don't owe them anything. Besides," I point at the melee, "Everyone else is already getting well stuck in. I'd be redundant."

She doesn't approve. Like I care.

"You never answered me before," she says, and I do believe she's pouting. "Why are you moping around?"

"You're not gonna like the answer," I tell her. I gesture in the night air with my smoke. "It's not gonna give you any great understanding." I point to the rumble on the other side of the street again. "Like that," I tell her. "Did you think I had any deeper reason for watching those two morons fight? I didn't, you know. It didn't tell me anything I didn't already know."

"So why watch?" she asks. I think she's a touch out of her depth here. A certain whining quality has taken hold of her voice.

I shrug. "I don't know. Felt like it, I guess. What was your question again?"

"If you don't care, why are you out here sulking? I thought it was because that guy inside insulted you."

Across the street, the friends trying to break shit up have succeeded. They're holding the two of them apart, but only Paul seems to have any interest in resuming hostilities. Maybe-Rob is simply standing there and looking amused.

"No, no, no," I say, "Fuck no. I'm out here because it was ending, and that brings me down more than anything." She doesn't understand. I can tell from her raised eyebrow. I don't know why she follows me around. "Look," I say, "It's because all things move toward their end."

Now she's really lost. "I don't get you," she says.

I sigh, expelling smoke into the air. It curls and catches the light from the streetlamps nicely. I admire my handiwork.

"Look. It's like this." I make one last effort at explaining myself. "It's because there's the cycle. Shit like this starts, and then it ends. Over and over again. And whenever I can feel something approaching its end, it makes me feel...sad, I suppose. Or something. There's a sense of disconnection from the rest of the world when this sort of thing happens."

"I think I get it," she says, and for a wonder, I think she does. There's actual understanding in her voice.

"See Paul over there?" I ask. She nods, of course she does. "He's gonna hate himself tonight, and maybe tomorrow. Because his girl's a whore and a bit of a bitch. But he's not gonna leave her, you see? Maybe he thinks he loves her, hell, maybe he does. But all this shit is his cycle, and it's just going to happen to him again."

Janice says nothing, so I continue. "You know when you go somewhere and you have the best time of your life? Well, for me, the worst time is when that ends. When you know it's almost over, even, and you know you're just going back to work on Monday, or whatever."

I stand, and flick my smoke at the group across the street.

"I'm going home," I say, "On with the cycle."


Submit to Digg Submit to StumbleUpon

User Reviews


Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2007-02-10 19:27:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

+1 for the piece, +1 for the title

Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-02-10 18:16:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

I've thought that way before.

Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-02-10 17:23:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

"Kerb?" Really?

I know I read this the day you posted it; I'm surprised to see I never commented.

"All things move toward their end" "..On that you can be sure." On? Why on, NC?

This is well-written as usual; I sympathize with the thing about the thing.

Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-02-10 16:14:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-01 00:10:40 (#)
Ranking: 0

Cheers MrSparkle.

Is anyone going to spot the John Milton reference in here? A hint: Nick Cave also stole this particular line.
***************
"All things move toward their end."

I guess I missed this post when it was first up...


Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-06-21 02:13:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I don't like you, but Orgasmatron does.

Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-04 08:38:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Bah, not again.

Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-04 08:37:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Never heard of the festival before.

I'm not so much a hitwhore as a "getting people to read my bullshit" whore.

I mean, how many of the hits at the top of the page represent someone who actually read the post? Fucking few, I would think.

Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-04-04 08:26:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-03-31 02:29:09 (#)
Ranking: 2

As a species, sometimes we suck.

--------------

I liked this, the narrator was so dejected that nothing was going to move him.

---------------

As an aside are you aware of the festival that goes on in the UK by the same name?

http://www.atpfestival.com/

-----------

You are a filthy hitwhore.

-Dave

Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-04 02:48:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Nobody, huh?

Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-01 00:10:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

Cheers MrSparkle.

Is anyone going to spot the John Milton reference in here? A hint: Nick Cave also stole this particular line.

Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2006-03-31 23:59:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

The writing flows and feels really natural. It's easy to write complicated shit that looks good on paper, but it sounds sort of retarded out loud; this looks like it was more difficult.

Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-31 23:55:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

Cheers cascade.

Submitted by cascade (user info) at 2006-03-31 23:46:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

This sentence set the tone "...and nursing a drink in a pitiful little paper cup. " I liked how you put us in touch with the narrator


And I'll +2 almost any post with "wanker" in it.

Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-31 21:10:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2006-03-31 11:18:00 (#)
Ranking: 1

Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-31 10:04:07 (#)
Ranking: 0


Took 35 minutes.

-------------
Try writing your story in word then coming back to it the next day to edit it. You'll see little things you can improve if you do it this way.

----------------------

I do compose in word. I don't usually edit much, though. This is probably my least polished story ever, because I wrote it Friday afternoon while pretending to work.

Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-31 21:07:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

Fuck off retrospect.

Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2006-03-31 16:00:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

I dug it. I like the feel of it - you really captured (for me anyway) the night party feel of my younger days.

Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-03-31 14:34:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

I like it, plus its Friday, I spent the whole morning at a seminar so I'm a flight risk and not even pretending to work right now.

Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-03-31 13:55:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

oops

Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-03-31 13:55:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by DarthAwesome (user info) at 2006-03-31 08:57:50 (#)
Ranking: 2

write some more from this dudes perspective. you could have a series and each post would have a little gem of wisdom in it.

DO IT!
----

Thank you, I'll think about it but I enjoyed writing this the way it is.

Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-03-31 13:36:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

And cry behind the door

Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2006-03-31 11:18:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 1

Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-31 10:04:07 (#)
Ranking: 0


Took 35 minutes.

-------------
Try writing your story in word then coming back to it the next day to edit it. You'll see little things you can improve if you do it this way.

Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-31 10:24:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

I heart Average Dan.

Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-03-31 10:13:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-31 01:32:05 (#)
Ranking: 0


Ha, it's not a true story.
-----------------------------

Never admit this. I found it all very James Frey-ish for some reason. Maybe it was the way that you spelled "Curb".

Other than that, I really liked it.

+2 My man!

Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-31 10:10:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-31 08:22:40 (#)
Ranking: -2

Here- I'll do you a favor and neutarlize your self +2 with a -2 to make things even.

-------------

Hey Shlongy...good to see I'm above your radar these days.

Apart from that, go get knotted.

Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-31 10:06:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-03-31 05:48:25 (#)
Ranking: 1

I think the whore went from being maybe-Rob's to Paul's.

Poor show.

(Sorry if I'm wrong)


--------------------

You're so wrong. They couldn't have less do to with the story. It's all about the narrator.

Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-31 10:04:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2006-03-31 06:19:00 (#)
Ranking: 1

I thought this was called All Tomorrows Panties.

Needless to say, I was shocked to find a serious peice when I clicked the link.

It wasn't too bad. Kept my attention all the way through, but felt kind of....what's the word I'm looking for, um....

rushed.

How long did it take you to write this? It just seems to be lacking a bit of editing, to make it a bit more refined.

--------------------

Took 35 minutes.

Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2006-03-31 09:53:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-03-31 09:47:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

and where shall she go, what shall she do, when sunday comes arooooouuuuuuund..... or is it monday... i forget

Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-03-31 09:35:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

+2 for being an example for young Hannah.

Submitted by DarthAwesome (user info) at 2006-03-31 08:57:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

write some more from this dudes perspective. you could have a series and each post would have a little gem of wisdom in it.

DO IT!

Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-03-31 08:56:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

+2 for the VU.

Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-31 08:22:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2

Here- I'll do you a favor and neutarlize your self +2 with a -2 to make things even.

Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-31 08:13:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-03-31 08:00:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

simple catalyst titled a post this a while back.

http://www.ubersite.com/m/77604

Submitted by xanderd (user info) at 2006-03-31 06:59:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 1

1.5

Submitted by xanderd (user info) at 2006-03-31 06:59:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-03-31 06:37:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Good stuff

Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2006-03-31 06:19:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 1

I thought this was called All Tomorrows Panties.

Needless to say, I was shocked to find a serious peice when I clicked the link.

It wasn't too bad. Kept my attention all the way through, but felt kind of....what's the word I'm looking for, um....

rushed.

How long did it take you to write this? It just seems to be lacking a bit of editing, to make it a bit more refined.

Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-03-31 05:48:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 1

I think the whore went from being maybe-Rob's to Paul's.

Poor show.

(Sorry if I'm wrong)

Submitted by Bushy (user info) at 2006-03-31 03:22:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2


i liked the sentiment. it got a bit clumsy in the middle, but that sort of added to the clumsiness of the drunken fight going on.

now, friday night means off to the pub.....

Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-03-31 02:29:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

As a species, sometimes we suck.

Submitted by Kent_Weirdo (user info) at 2006-03-31 02:22:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

I know how you feel, man. Though, I can feel my cycle slowly chugging to a halt these days, to lay stagnant for a long, long time.

Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-31 01:51:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -2

Hah, I just plus 2'd myself.

Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-31 01:50:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by r0fl (user info) at 2006-03-31 01:48:08 (#)
Ranking: 0

Did I say it was?

--------------

Come to think of it...no, I don't know how I got that impression.

Submitted by HawthorneHeights (user info) at 2006-03-31 01:48:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Are we going to do the one line creative thinking post? Or what?

Submitted by r0fl (user info) at 2006-03-31 01:48:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

Did I say it was?

Submitted by laika (user info) at 2006-03-31 01:41:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

velvet underground- great band




Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-31 01:32:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by r0fl (user info) at 2006-03-31 01:23:31 (#)
Ranking: 2

I'm actually working on a reminiscence post right now, so have another, you bastard.

----------

Ha, it's not a true story.

Submitted by r0fl (user info) at 2006-03-31 01:23:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

I'm actually working on a reminiscence post right now, so have another, you bastard.

Submitted by r0fl (user info) at 2006-03-31 01:22:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

I hope I get the first one.


Time to fertilize the lawn. A couple of 500-pound bags should do it!

-- Homer Simpson
Homer vs. Patty and Selma