Depth's of Ineptitude (579 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 0.85 on 9 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by sicosemen (View user info) at 2006-03-31 10:52:38 EST
I found out that she was coming approximately two weeks ago giving me plenty of time to prepare. Actually, I knew she was coming for a couple of months but it wasn't until two weeks ago that we knew exactly when. Who is she? She is the HNIC (head nig... in charge). She runs the complete computer system involving my job specificly and a few of the others that I work with. She had some training to do with the others and a lot more to do with me. Fine.
My arch-nemisis has put me into a cataclysmic state of despair. She is the cunt that I affectionately refer to as "Sluggo." Sluggo is the target of all my evil thoughts and malignant perceptions that one human can possibly have. As a matter of fact, by her breathing my life is being compensated for lack of oxygen. How'd she attain the name? Oh, ok, well where do I begin? She works with the competence of an autistic math kid writing an English essay. She has been doing her job for quite some time now and still doesn't know how to do her job. She's stealthy, I don't know how, she weighs in at a "you can't see me" 250+ pounds. I don't know how she gets away with it. Bill Engvall puts it best: "Here's your sign..." I've created her name some time ago and it's finally starting to catch on with everyone in my department, including my boss, and just today the plant manager even giggled when he heard it.
The HNIC and I meet and go over some pretty basic things involving the computer system and other complimentary bullshit. HNIC decides that she wants to meet with sluggo to get her trained on the same computer system. Within 30 minutes of them meeting sluggo tells HNIC that she has depression and anxiety and all the other made up problems come up with when their parents forgot to abort. Really, who tells someone that supercedes them why they suck at life? That's pretty blunt if you ask me. That's like meeting Joaquinn Phoenix and being like, "Hey, nice to meet you, oh and nice hairlip." Who does that?!?!
They cater to sluggo's problems though, unbeknownst to me, that I will be picking up her slack. This bitch can not be in that big of a stasis that I have to do her job. Nope, I will now pick up half of her job because she is incapable of doing it. That's when I asked my boss if they will dock her pay by half and compensate me for it. Now comes the impasse where they need to decide on whether or not to can the cunt called sluggo. There's no hope in her getting better.
I have documented on numerous occassions as to why she is a failure to no avail. Nope, me, the poor white boy, from out of town, who came here to help his terminal Aunt, has to take over duties for this person whom I wish paper cut after paper cut on. Wow! If it was someone else, I'm sure I wouldn't have such a hard time but I work for the maintenance department who consists of 70% of the overall purchasing. When did purchasing stop purchasing? When they decided it was a good idea to hire sluggo.
I assure you this isn't a rant no matter how much it seems like it. I'm really trying to figure out if these people exist in more than just my sector. Are there people just as inane all over the place? What kind of encounters have the rest of you had to put up with? I will give sluggo a switch blade and tell her to juggle it with 4 chainsaws. Fucking waste of life.
On a positive note, I will be camping at Ramblewood Campgrounds this weekend for my buddies bachelor party. I think it will be pretty cool considering that everyone else does the stripper thing, etc, etc. Little does he know that I have a special guest coming at 11 p.m. tonight.
Also, Blitzkrieg Bob is MIA. If found, please return....no questions asked.
User Reviews
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-11-12 12:20:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Thanks for linking me to this one.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-10-05 16:59:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2006-10-05 16:48:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by ItalianStallion (user info) at 2006-06-25 11:46:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2006-06-07 14:15:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
has to take over duties for this person whom I wish paper cut after paper cut on.
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i've ahd those wishes before too.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-03-31 15:31:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
SLUGGOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2006-03-31 15:18:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't live the button-down life like you. I want it all! The
terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles!
-- Homer Simpson
Lisa's Rival
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2006-03-31 13:17:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've worked with 2 of them. It got to the point where I wouldn't even give them work because it would just be quicker to do it myself.
Submitted by SiskelandFatboy (user info) at 2006-03-31 11:24:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"My arch-nemisis has put me into a cataclysmic state of despair."
For some reason that line made me laugh.