Coffee and Cigarettes at 8AM (42756 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: Fiction
Rating: 1.87 on 89 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by kaos-king (antius777) (View user info) at 2006-04-01 10:48:17 EST
It was a normal day in the city, around 8 o' clock in the morning. Cabs and buses pulled off to the sides of the four lane streets to allow the slow moving traffic passage around them. Stop lights issued commands to pedestrians who huddled on the sidewalks ready to continue their march forward. The sounds echoed off the metal and stone, reaching up to even the highest levels of the buildings towering above. The scent, a mixture of exhaust, trash, food vendors and human sweat clung together in a way only one can find in an American metropolis. And the sights? Well...
A man of Indian descent stood by a trash can, slowly drinking from a small styrofoam cup. He was young looking, perhaps in his mid twenties. Clean shaven and very short chopped hair revealed the slightest of a widow's peak at his forehead. He had on the most casual of attire, a white cotton shirt, the top few buttons undone and the sleeves rolled up, with khaki pants. If anyone noticed that he was barefoot in the middle of the city, however, no one said a word to the young man.
He stood there, staring off into the bustle of the city, paying attention to nothing in particular. He was, however, fully aware of the young man who walked up next to him, also holding a small steaming cup in his hand.
"Morning," said the new comer after taking a swig of his beverage.
"Did you bring any?"
The new comer sighed and handed the young Indian his cup so he could tie his long hair back in a pony tail.
"I'll take that as a 'no'," said the Indian.
The other man reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of Camel Lights. He retrieved two of them and lit them up and the same time. They traded the cup for the cigarette.
"Kris, you forgot your shoes again."
"I didn't forget, I just didn't care," said the Indian.
Kris looked over his companion as he drew in another puff. He looked to be in his thirties, caucasian with long brown hair and a goatee. Today he had on a red polo shirt with blue jeans. And, as he would be sure to point out later, nice new Nike tennis shoes.
"Did you watch the news this morning?" asked Kris.
"Yeah, Moe's gonna be pissed."
"Speaking of..."
An Arab in a maroon windbreaker strolled up to them with cup in hand. He did not look happy. The other two nodded in greeting.
"Jesus, give me a cigarette," said Moe.
Soon all three were smoking and staring out into the city. None of them said a word.
Two Asian men walked up to the small group. One had on a plain black tee shirt, the other a soccer jersey. They each had a cup in their hand, and the one in the tee shirt pulled out his own pack of Newports.
"When did you switch to menthol, Sid?" asked Kris.
"Figured I'd change it up a bit."
The five men stood on the sidewalk, smoking and drinking tea or coffee.
Around them, things continued. People walked past them talking on cell phones to clients half way around the globe next to couples holding hands. Cab drivers born in other countries drove passengers who had never been out of the city. Business men who dined on lobster and caviar stood on the street corner next to students who could barely afford ramen noodles. A street dealer who had sold his little sister into prostitution brushed shoulders with a nun who had never experienced so much as a kiss from a man. Yes, around them, things continued.
"So," said Lao Tzu, "I was checking the news on the internet before I came..."
"Here we go," mumbled Jesus.
"And?" asked Moe angrily.
"And?" said Lao Tzu, tossing his cup in the trash. "And your kids blew up another building in England! Muhammad, this is getting out of control!"
"Moe, no one is saying this is your fault, but..." tried Kris.
"No Krishna, that's exactly what Lao Tzu is implying! He and Siddhartha are always quick to look sideways at any of the Western deities when violence is committed in our name. As I recall, Jesus was practically ostracized during the Crusades and the Inquisition by the rest of the Pantheon. I guess now it's my turn."
Siddhartha rubbed his temples. "Look, I'm sorry that no one has ever committed mass murder in the name of Buddha."
"Now, that's not fair!" said Jesus.
"Gentlemen! What are we fighting about?"
The five gods turned to see two more walking up to them, both looking to hail from the Fertile Crescent region. The smaller of the two lapsed back a few steps and mouthed "I'm sorry" to the assembled group.
"Bloody Hell," sighed Krishna, "Ohrmazd let Marduk tag along."
The ancient Babylonian God-King wrapped his massive arms around both Muhammad and Lao Tzu, grinning broadly. Ohrmazd stepped in line beside Krishna and Jesus. The King of the Jews rolled his eyes at the Zororastian god. Ohrmazd grumbled.
"We are all friends, brothers in fact!" laughed Marduk. "We should not fight amongst ourselves. We have a true enemy to wage war against, evil itself, with mankind as the prize! Why, I remember when..."
"Yes, yes... when you slayed Tiamat. Glorious day, vanquished evil," said Muhammad struggling to get out of Marduk's grasp.
"Yes!" cried Marduk, his eyes going wide. "Exactly!"
Various dirty looks were cast in Ohrmazd's direction.
"Eh, right," coughed the beloved of Zarathustra. "I assume this argument has something to do with that incident in England?"
"Of course," said Muhammad, now actively elbowing the Babylonian God-King in the ribs to no avail.
"And let me guess," continued Ohrmazd, "Lao Tzu started it?"
"What's that suppose to mean?" squealed Lao Tzu from underneath Marduk's arm.
"Um," said Jesus raising his hand, "Because you always start it?"
Ohrmazd sighed heavily. "Don't you guys think we should do more than meet every mornings for coffee and cigarettes to talk about random world events? Shouldn't we be, like, doing something?"
Marduk let go of the other two gods and frowned. "The rest of you meet every morning?"
"Like what?" asked Krishna, ignoring Marduk's question. "The humans must move on their faith alone now. Their technology has advanced too far to attempt any kind divine act."
"I don't know Kris. But it just feels like we've... we've given up on them."
"No," said Lao Tzu quietly. "No, I know what you mean."
The Buddha looked at his friend quizzically, but the master of Taoism continued without glancing up.
"I'm sorry Moe. Don't take it personally. Recently, I've just felt so... disappointed in humanity. I'm not even sure what to do."
"Yeah," said Jesus, "I know what you mean."
"Well, this has been a downer morning," said Buddha lighting up another Newport as he walked off.
"Lao Tzu, if you need to talk..." said Krishna.
"Thanks man," replied Lao Tzu heading down the side walk.
"Moe, you still want to go to that hockey game tonight?" asked Jesus.
"Definitely. I need to take my mind off of things," said Muhammad while he drifted across the street with Ohrmazd.
"Give me a cigarette for the road," said Krishna to Jesus.
Jesus shook his head and tossed him the half empty pack then disappeared down the sidewalk with the other pedestrians.
"Wait!" yelled Marduk. "Do you guys really meet here every morning?"
Krishna lit up the Camel Light, waived goodbye at the Babylonian God-King and vanished.
User Reviews
Submitted by hot_pocket (user info) at 2007-03-06 18:01:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
beautiful is the only word i can think of to describe this at 6 pm drunk on spring break....i had read this before and im suprised i hadnt rated it prior. excellent read man, i just wish it were a bit longer
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-10-28 10:10:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I had never read this
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-10-28 09:46:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A cool idea carried out very well
Submitted by getalife (user info) at 2006-10-05 16:28:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sweet good job on b@w
Submitted by rockdocc (user info) at 2006-08-31 03:44:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
very nice, very nice indeed.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-08-31 02:07:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by PenanceInACan (user info) at 2006-08-31 01:54:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
JESUS SMOKES AMERICAN SPIRITS MOTHERFUCKER
Submitted by Chazzy (user info) at 2006-08-20 18:10:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2006-05-02 14:04:29 (#)
Ranking: 2
Belated +2 :)
Submitted by malefic (user info) at 2006-08-20 17:16:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm sorry but I don't see what the fuss is about. This is pretty unremarkable fiction.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-08-16 11:46:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I really enjoyed this. Definitely deserved B@W.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-07-14 23:26:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Same here, Don.
This is one of the best posts I've read on Uber, and I like to go back to it every once in a while.
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2006-05-26 04:12:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2006-04-02 08:58:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
This was really great.
--
I read it again and still stand by this remark.
Submitted by the_grendel (user info) at 2006-05-18 00:39:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That rocked
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-05-02 15:42:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
if they split into teams for ultimate frisbee, how would the split go and who would win?
Submitted by hyprspacd (user info) at 2006-05-02 15:35:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I missed this before somehow.
This was amazing.
Needs more than a +2
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-05-02 14:57:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was fucking awesome!!
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2006-05-02 14:04:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Belated +2 :)
Submitted by EAZEDZT (user info) at 2006-04-27 19:13:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good job
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2006-04-20 22:57:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Judoka (user info) at 2006-04-14 13:50:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by msambiguous (user info) at 2006-04-11 11:03:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by cuberat (user info) at 2006-04-06 16:49:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2006-04-04 17:31:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
Haa.
Congrats on B@W
==================================================================================================
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2006-04-06 12:31:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-04-05 18:09:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
CONGRATS
Submitted by Abdul (user info) at 2006-04-05 09:44:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't even know what an alter is...
Submitted by toucan_sam (user info) at 2006-04-04 23:11:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2006-04-04 17:31:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Abdul (user info) at 2006-04-04 13:54:02 (#)
Ranking: 0
Wait, you say that showing them as anything other than divine would be disrespectful? On the contrary, it would be disrespectful to call them divine beings (seeing as they denied it), and would also be a lie (seeing as they denied it). Also, I see it does insult them since you are saying that they, as Gods, cannot change what humanity will amount to. Now, seriously, you say that there are more than one God, and yet they're still powerless to change the minds of a few weak humans? Would even one God not be enough? Seeing as it would be a GOD and all... I would think he would be able to pull it off with the utmost of ease. Something else I noticed was how you said this was not an attack on Islam, and I wanted to say that I didn't think it was. I thought you didn't do enough research to know that Muhammad SAW was not a God; I mean, come one, he preached: Li Illah ha Illalah (The ONLY one worth worship is Allah) which shows insult to him when you called him a God. I meant not to make out that I was lashing out viciously at an infidel, or anything like that. I meant only to inform you of a mistake, albeit a large one. To further show that I did not take it as an attack on Islam, I gave you a 0 to not degrade your score too bad. Thanks.
---------------------------------------------------
Haa.
Congrats on B@W
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-04-04 14:12:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ubmitted by Abdul (user info) at 2006-04-04 13:54:02 (#)
Ranking: 0
Now, seriously, you say that there are more than one God, and yet they're still powerless to change the minds of a few weak humans? Would even one God not be enough? Seeing as it would be a GOD and all...
---------
the idea around most religions is that humans are weak yes, but the god or gods of the religion or belief structure whatever give every man the choice of his actions. it's not a matter of changing their minds, it's a matter of the hope that each faith has in humanity to do the right thing. there is free will in all actions. it's not a matter of can or can't it's a matter of will or won't. just because you can do something doesn't mean you should or will. it's not they're powerless it's they want their believers/children/creations to follow their own paths and they hope for the best as all parents do.
side note: siddhartha gautama was a hindu prince so he looked indian (dots not feathers) asian, not lao tzu oriental asian. i like that you threw the babylonian gods in there. people forget about old tales like that.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-04-04 14:06:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Abdul = Alter
Submitted by Abdul (user info) at 2006-04-04 13:54:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wait, you say that showing them as anything other than divine would be disrespectful? On the contrary, it would be disrespectful to call them divine beings (seeing as they denied it), and would also be a lie (seeing as they denied it). Also, I see it does insult them since you are saying that they, as Gods, cannot change what humanity will amount to. Now, seriously, you say that there are more than one God, and yet they're still powerless to change the minds of a few weak humans? Would even one God not be enough? Seeing as it would be a GOD and all... I would think he would be able to pull it off with the utmost of ease. Something else I noticed was how you said this was not an attack on Islam, and I wanted to say that I didn't think it was. I thought you didn't do enough research to know that Muhammad SAW was not a God; I mean, come one, he preached: Li Illah ha Illalah (The ONLY one worth worship is Allah) which shows insult to him when you called him a God. I meant not to make out that I was lashing out viciously at an infidel, or anything like that. I meant only to inform you of a mistake, albeit a large one. To further show that I did not take it as an attack on Islam, I gave you a 0 to not degrade your score too bad. Thanks.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2006-04-04 12:35:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
congrats on B@W. You deserve it.
Submitted by WookieSuave (user info) at 2006-04-04 05:23:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Quite good.
Submitted by jojojojoan (user info) at 2006-04-03 16:08:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
very interesting.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-04-03 15:37:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-04-03 14:56:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
congrats.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-04-03 13:44:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Abdul (user info) at 2006-04-03 12:58:27 (#)
Ranking: -1
Well, to start things off, Muhammad SAW is not a God. At all. You ruined a life worth of suffering and ceasless working just by even implying that one lie. That's just not cool. This is why I give you a -1. Second of all, is Marduk the other name for Zorast, founder of Zorastrianism? The one with the bull that got killed, and scorpians coming out of the corpse or something? Is that the one with the daily struggle of good and evil? I thought it was. Anyway, you really insulted a lot of people's Gods in this, saying that they weren't doing anything in the world. Why not talk of all the good that happens everyday? Why not highlight all the abilities that people are still blessed with being able to do? Whatever.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Good afternoon.
First off, when I attended school, my minor was in philosophy with a concentration in Comparative Theology (World Religion.) I have read scores of text books, scripture translations and spoke with various people in the particular faith communities. While I am not as well versed in Western Religious Beliefs as I am Eastern, I am more schooled in the field than your average individual.
Second, I am fully aware that Muhammad was not a "Deity." Of course, neither were Lao Tzu or the Buddha. Lao Tzu never even preached a word of his teachings, but in fact disappeared after writing the "Tao Te Ching." Siddhartha was royalty until he cast it aside. The term "Buddha" actually translates into "Enlightened One." He never claimed to be divine. I feel these three individuals have achieved such a measure of greatness in the world, that to show them in any lesser light than divine would be disrespectful.
Third, Marduk is the Babylonian God-King who destroyed Tiamat in a time that pre-dates Egypt. Zoroastor, or as the Greeks called him "Zarathustra," was the creator of Zoroastrism. It is an ancient Arabic religion that says that good (represented by Ohrmazd) was perfectly balanced, and in constant battle with evil (represented by Ahriman.)
Fourth, I do not see how I in any way demeaned or belittled anyones faith in this short story. The whole purpose of this tale was to show how the "gods" were friends, brothers in fact. That they could put aside their differences and that their children should do the same. That I may not have portrayed a deity in an exact fashion as would be described in a book written hundreds, perhaps thousands of years ago does not bother me in the slightest. Notice that I did, however, portray them as kind, affectionate, jovial individuals.
Fifth, as the story pointed out, they are unable to act upon the Earth as they once might have. Humanity has achieved so much, that they must now let Faith itself run the show. I am going to assume with a handle like Abdul (if you're not an alter) that you are Muslim. Once again, notice how I pointed out the horrors of Christianity's past. This in absolutely no way was an attack on Islam.
In essence... calm down.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-04-03 13:04:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Abdul (user info) at 2006-04-03 12:58:27 (#)
Ranking: -1
Well, to start things off, Muhammad SAW is not a God. At all. You ruined a life worth of suffering and ceasless working just by even implying that one lie. That's just not cool. This is why I give you a -1. Second of all, is Marduk the other name for Zorast, founder of Zorastrianism? The one with the bull that got killed, and scorpians coming out of the corpse or something? Is that the one with the daily struggle of good and evil? I thought it was. Anyway, you really insulted a lot of people's Gods in this, saying that they weren't doing anything in the world. Why not talk of all the good that happens everyday? Why not highlight all the abilities that people are still blessed with being able to do? Whatever.
-------------------------------
Wow
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-04-03 13:03:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Finally Kaos, Congrats on B@W, and well deserved.
Submitted by Abdul (user info) at 2006-04-03 12:58:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Well, to start things off, Muhammad SAW is not a God. At all. You ruined a life worth of suffering and ceasless working just by even implying that one lie. That's just not cool. This is why I give you a -1. Second of all, is Marduk the other name for Zorast, founder of Zorastrianism? The one with the bull that got killed, and scorpians coming out of the corpse or something? Is that the one with the daily struggle of good and evil? I thought it was. Anyway, you really insulted a lot of people's Gods in this, saying that they weren't doing anything in the world. Why not talk of all the good that happens everyday? Why not highlight all the abilities that people are still blessed with being able to do? Whatever.
Submitted by dirtycyberdawg (user info) at 2006-04-03 09:21:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by nightshade (user info) at 2006-04-03 09:06:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-04-03 09:01:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was the daddy. Well thought out and well constructed. No bullshit. Just a damn fine read.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-04-03 08:20:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Holy Shit Fuck!
I'm on Bored At Work!!!
Thanks for the great reviews everybody!!!
Submitted by Caulfield (user info) at 2006-04-03 08:12:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-04-03 08:03:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
congrats on bored at work.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-03 07:48:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-04-03 07:31:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
Now, THIS belongs on B@W
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-04-03 07:31:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now, THIS belongs on B@W
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-04-03 00:08:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Of course
Submitted by Benny (user info) at 2006-04-02 22:43:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Cool
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2006-04-02 18:30:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Buddah is technically not a God.
But I am.
Now kiss my ass and drink my blood.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-04-02 18:15:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ok, so the gods are accounted for...
what about the goddesses? there are plenty of them in the greco-roman sphere (since you're brining that in)
as always, ultimately readable.
Submitted by Ashfish (user info) at 2006-04-02 17:14:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was great, feed us more please.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-04-02 14:41:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Really liked the setup on this.
It reminded me of http://www.ubersite.com/m/60864 in tone.
Apologies for the hitwhore.
-Dave
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2006-04-02 14:14:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I enjoyed the hell out of that. Thanks!
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-04-02 13:19:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Submitted by IntangibleHands (user info) at 2006-04-02 12:58:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
I want Marduk the sun god in me!"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
Submitted by IntangibleHands (user info) at 2006-04-02 12:58:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I want Marduk the sun god in me!
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-04-02 12:57:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
awesome
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-04-02 12:21:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
do it again
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2006-04-02 12:05:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The first half I was thinking what the fuck is this token crap.
Then it got good. Really good.
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2006-04-02 08:58:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was really great.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2006-04-02 08:05:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-04-01 22:45:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
On April Fool's Day, no less.
Ironic?
Not really.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-04-01 22:37:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Everything you ever wanted to know about bart
User id: 1
Registered on or around: 1999-11-30 02:06:04
# Messages posted: 125
# Reviews written: 5416
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 5736
# Hits: 1000249
Average rating of all messages: 0.96
ONE MILLION HITS
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-04-01 21:02:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This fucking rocked.
B@W, even.
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-04-01 20:42:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i was only able to read part of this right now, my brain's not in the kind of place to appreciate it though so i'll finish it later. have this in the meantime
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2006-04-01 20:27:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm sure it was good.
Submitted by Blinkish (user info) at 2006-04-01 20:21:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i like it, it's perfect for a Saturday night
Submitted by soccer (user info) at 2006-04-01 19:55:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
automatic soccer +2
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-04-01 18:55:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Stixs - There's a movie with the same name as this? Shit! I had no idea. I was really lost on what to call it, and I wanted something really simple.
Submitted by cascade (user info) at 2006-04-01 18:41:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Clever!
this line stuck with me "Cab drivers born in other countries drove passengers who had never been out of the city. "
Submitted by SkinnyKenny (user info) at 2006-04-01 18:40:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Tasty.
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-04-01 18:34:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i really liked it.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-04-01 17:40:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
rated you twice fucker.
deserves it, i guess.
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2006-04-01 17:24:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't even think about stopping this, and if you could tie it into actual world news, I think I'll love you.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2006-04-01 12:16:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is the first time in 10 years I have gone more than 5 days without smoking.
I am on day 6. I miss it so very much.
Quitting fucking blows.
Besides, I liked standing outside sipping my coffee and inhaling
with those gentleman. Jesus promised me a ride on his new bike.
Submitted by STIXS (user info) at 2006-04-01 12:08:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Quite fancy stuff. And it was quite similar in tone as the movie of the same name (well, conversation topic wise...even though in the movie it was mainly two or three people...not a gaggle of gods). Erm, to be roundabout, you deserve this +2.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-04-01 11:52:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
evil zero of doom.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-04-01 11:52:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-04-01 11:52:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
sorry...
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-04-01 11:52:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Coffee and Cigarettes:
Breakfast of Champions.
Submitted by Jacobt26 (user info) at 2006-04-01 11:50:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This could not have kicked more ass.
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2006-04-01 11:37:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
coolness.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-04-01 11:37:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I wish I could write like you.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-04-01 11:30:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Are you sure they were smoking camels? I need to get fucked up on some real crazy shit if I want to talk to Jesus.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-04-01 11:29:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this is seriously the coolest shit ever though
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-04-01 11:28:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
coolest shit ever
plus..
"The other man reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of Camel Lights. He retrieved two of them and lit them up and the same time."
WAS IT ME?
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-04-01 11:16:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
cool.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-04-01 11:03:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
nice
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-01 10:59:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahaha.
Is there more to come?