FUPA Round 3- A Jumble of Time (581 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.7 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Bubba2341 (View user info) at 2006-04-02 18:19:52 EDT
"Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana."
-Groucho Marx-
A child of nine in Summertime
His vistas endless and long
From June to September
A time to remember
A stick, a worm, a song.
Three short months, as long as an age
With never a thought for tomorrow
The forts and the fights
The warm, pleasant nights
The World in chiaroscuro
...........................................
A mother, face in tears of grief, A father,
Stoic and sphinx-like in his
Need to hide his true feelings from a
World shattered by the Reaper of
Flesh; a younger brother ripped asunder
With the passing of one so loved
One who shared the times of youth and
Joys of life, speaking in the hollow tones
Of he who has been transported to his
Childhood, smiling with eyes full of
Sadness, telling tales of a Time beyond
Time, before the World came to be for
One so young.
...........................................
"Boy, twenty years ago the bread that we ate
Was only ten cents a loaf."
"A quarter would buy
All the kites you could fly
And our milk always came from a goat."
A child of thirteen could not understand
The years that would add up to twenty
He cannot fathom
(the years he don't have 'em)
Of days in the year there were plenty.
............................................
The passing of Daddy when he was but
Fifty gave shock to the child of Time
Forcing the thoughts of his own twenty
Years back into his young mind, recalling
the awe of a time-span he could not get
His mind around
The boy of old had become a father himself,
wondering in the late hours why his own
Father was taken so young, fearing above
Fear that his own life would end while his
Own needed his love.
.............................................
Money comes and goes, but Time only goes
You think of the Time, now thirty years gone
And feel it was just yesterday, a fleeting moment
Etched in the past, gone, but as clear as the light in
Your mind.
Age does ravage the thoughts of one who feels
So young, knowing the past with a clarity
Enhanced by infallible memory, troubled by the
Fears of why things are not as they seem.
.............................................
Today is the yesterday of my mind
Etched in fire, written in memories
Of the smoke of days forgotten for
Want of need of consolation, a need
That shall never be.
Life gives us a choice with Time as
The keeper of love and memories untold
So live to the fullest your meager young
Days, that riches may fully unfold.
User Reviews
Submitted by GetNakeddd (user info) at 2006-07-17 23:54:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
By agreement
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-04-11 21:34:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Since you asked and you're a fan, and in the same general demographic as I am.
BUT THAT'S THE ONLY REASON!!!
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-05 19:08:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-05 16:21:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
You've been going knives out since this competition began.
And that, dear sir, is WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
Well played here. It's lyrical and layered, and as such I long to take you out on a man date.
Perchance we'll meet again.
------------------
"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--
Of cabbages--and kings--
And why the sea is boiling hot--
And whether pigs have wings."
-Lewis Carroll-
.........
I figured I would see pigs fly before you got bumped from a poetry match,
but, it is not yet midnight. I consider your words on my post to be the
highest form of praise available on this site. Thank you. We shall most certainly
meet again...
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-05 16:21:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You've been going knives out since this competition began.
And that, dear sir, is WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
Well played here. It's lyrical and layered, and as such I long to take you out on a man date.
Perchance we'll meet again.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-05 15:39:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jesus Christ Bubba
You are the dark horse in this one. Everything you've put out there has been consistent gold.
I may have to change my prediction on who the winner is going to be....
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-04-04 15:18:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah i'm glad you beat me. the word goat made me laugh though.
Submitted by disko (user info) at 2006-04-04 15:13:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
And so are you.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-04-04 15:06:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by disko (user info) at 2006-04-04 12:54:23 (#)
Ranking: -2
thats extremely gay.
-----
OFFSET!
Submitted by disko (user info) at 2006-04-04 12:54:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
thats extremely gay.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-04 10:33:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-04-04 09:56:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-02 21:45:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
You'd probably have gotten the +2 from me just for using the word chiaroscuro. However, the rest of it was good too.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-04-03 09:54:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
a;gjhn[aowerhtvv[nhorah.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-04-02 23:20:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm confused by this, because I'm not entirely certain I like it, and there's things I don't like about it, but yet I still think it's good and will +2 it because it deserves it. Weird.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-02 21:45:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You'd probably have gotten the +2 from me just for using the word chiaroscuro. However, the rest of it was good too.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-04-02 21:28:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good form, although I'm not really a "poetry" kind of guy.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-02 20:43:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, Saccy, I noticed the parallel. Also, mine was taken from
true life, as I believe your's was. . .
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-02 20:39:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The passing of Daddy when he was but
Fifty gave shock to the child of Time
Forcing the thoughts of his own twenty
Years back into his young mind, recalling
the awe of a time-span he could not get
His mind around
=======
Very good, Bubba. You definitely have a talent for this. You'll notice the parallels this one has to my story.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-04-02 20:17:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
liked it.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-04-02 20:07:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This competition sucks ass.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-04-02 19:18:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Am I up against you?
No?
Good. 2+