FUPA Round III: The Horror (544 hits)
Category: Quotes & Stories -> PoetryLabels: Comp
Rating: 1.85 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Chris Parthemos <goferforhire.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2006-04-02 23:11:37 EDT
"I hate mankind, for I think myself one of the best of them, and I know how bad I am."
Joseph Baretti
The horror, the horror:
Too few vines to hide the scars,
Too few scars to kill the memories-
I did it, that was me, I did it!
When I was a child, I spoke as a child:
I played in rivers of grass,
And mountains of sand,
And my single ambition was to be an explorer.
I forded glaciers in my mind,
I set a 'no girls allowed' flag at each pole.
For seven years I thought nothing of watching clouds...
It was all so perfect.
The horror, the horror- an adult
All at once, suspenders and all.
No more frolick, no more grass-
The rivers were dry, the mountains wore away
There was nothing to explore, I saw it all,
All at once, blood and all.
When I became a man I put away childish things-
Gone were the lilacs,
Gone were the lilies,
Gone was ambition and perfection,
All at once.
The horror, the horror:
A life's history in a single instant
All taken away and vanished
As though it had never been-
Too few scars to kill the memories,
Too few books to bury it,
Too few words to deny,
I did it, that was me-
The horror, the horror:
One long chain of innocents
Wandering in, closing the doors
And that was me with the lever,
That was me with the switch-
When I was a child I thought as a child,
I spoke as a child, I understood as a child,
And I believed that it could all be solved,
All at once, 6 million of them.
User Reviews
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-06-20 02:41:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-04-05 23:48:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
damn, you came out of nowhere. would be cool if you win this shit, cause i have no clue who you are.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-05 16:30:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love that you took a historical approach to this, as I figured that would likely be the more overlooked of the two. The reflection, on the deeds done and on the life lived, is terrific.
Even monsters and criminals were children once, right?
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-04-05 16:02:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I was uncomfortable with starting it with a quote like that, so I rounded it off with another one-
"I can feel the sufferings of millions and yet, if I look up into the heavens, I think that it will all come right, that this cruelty too will end, and that peace and tranquillity will return again." Anne Frank
Which also makes the subject matter a smidge more apparent. As for the singsongy feel, that was intentional, actually... I kinda think it sounds a bit off-kilter, kinda shell-shocked crazyish.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-05 15:55:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I think I agree with Sacrilicious on this one.
I like what the piece is going for, I just don't feel completely comfortable with the presentation, the lilting sing song feeling of it.
Solid 1
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-04-05 10:12:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
made me shudder if i got the meaning right.
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2006-04-05 10:05:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-04-04 09:47:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-03 20:51:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
1.5.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-03 20:50:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I thought most of this was really good. Something about the exclamations and the "the horror, the horror" made it seem almost sing-songy to me though, and I found that a little odd.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-04-03 10:11:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-03 04:32:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-03 03:56:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-03 04:32:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-03 03:56:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-03 03:56:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2