I thought I had hit rock bottom. Then a bird flew into my head. (397 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 0.33 on 6 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Crew (View user info) at 2006-04-02 23:56:29 EDT
I'm not kidding. A bird. Flew into my head. In the middle of the street, in downtown Ottawa, in broad daylight. I could not believe the audacity of this bird.
Allow me to backtrack.
I was already having a bad day. I was put in a shitty situation, which involved me bussing two hours to parent's house that night, going to a job interview the next day at 11, and then quickly bussing back to Ottawa to give a presentation at 3. I was going to be cutting it close for sure.
So I went to the Rideau Center bus stop and, being unfamiliar with the city bus system, asked the first driver that came which bus went to the Greyhound bus station. He replied, in an accent so thick that I thought he must be a taxi driver in his spare time, "The bus behind me... he will take you". So I hopped on. Half and hour later I am out in bumfuck nowhere. I was pretty sure this is not anywhere close to the bus station. "Hey driver, we're not going to the bus station, are we". "Nope, you wanted to get on the 14. This is the 4." Fuck, I had missed the last bus to Kingston, therefore I was going to miss my interview. "How long til we get back to the Rideau Center?" "About an hour." Fuck.
50 minutes later, we arrive back at the Rideau Center. I figure I'll cut my losses and go back to my house, call the casino and hopefully they can reschedule the interview. I get off the bus, contemplating how the conversation will go, when this bird decides he is going to William Tell the shit out of me. In broad daylight, in front of a hundred people, this bird careens into my skull AND THEN FLIES AWAY.
What the fuck? That's like walking up to someone you don't know in a bar, puking all over them, punching their buddy in the face, and then running for dear life. Fucking bird. If you are gonna start shit, you had better fucking finish it.
User Reviews
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-04-03 10:12:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i figured it was the bluebird of happiness.
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2006-04-03 09:36:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-04-03 00:02:03 (#)
Ranking: -1
the last line was alright. the rest was shit.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2006-04-03 07:13:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Birds can sense inability to sufficiently prepare for interogatories like dogs can sense fear, you know. Birds also like to make nests from the hair of the lame. Real birds use the whole scalp, but apparently even your hair-grabbing bird is ill-prepared and lame.
Submitted by Dacin (user info) at 2006-04-03 07:00:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Benny (user info) at 2006-04-03 02:56:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's some shitty luck your having. A friend of mine once had a bird shit on his sandwhich. Luckily he happened to look at it just before taking the next bite.
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-04-03 00:02:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
the last line was alright. the rest was shit.