For the times they are a changing (425 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesLabels: Fictional
Rating: 1.16 on 8 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Hourman (View user info) at 2006-04-03 06:17:23 EDT
'For the times they are a changing...'
The mellow tones of Mr Dylan sooth my ragged nerves and unsettled mind as I glance out the window of my office. I know it's going to happen again. Sure enough like the rising of the sun it happens, and with it a flood, no a tidal wave of fear suppresses me into the back of my chair.
Once more it happens, I hope and pray it will stop, at least for a short while to allow me the privilege of a cigarette. No, it won't stop and that's that. There are no two ways about it I'm going to have to deal with it.
"Come in" I whisper, hoping that I will be left in peace. No such I luck.
"Mr Clemens we have a potential client outside who needs to talk to you about claims at the work place" Oh how I loathe this creature. Her walk is the embodiment of my tiresome existence, and with every step she brings me these empty vessels devoid of minds that cant grasp a simple fact like 'Just because someone said something you didn't like does not necessarily mean you can sue them.' In fact she would appear to me to be the boatman crossing the river Styx with a wailing soul. They pay her the money but eventually it is I would have to deal with them. Whether or not it is somewhat pretentious to compare myself to Hades lord of the underworld I do so anyway. It gives me an overwhelming sense of power for the few seconds before I remember that I am, by no means, Hades, lord of the underworld.
In walks this tracksuit wearing Neanderthal of a human. Either he hasn't evolved at the rate of the rest of mankind, or its simply all the gold that he is wearing is weighing him down. I'm assuming that Darwin is wrong and this creature is in a genetic pool of his own and somehow managed to avoid the evolutionary process.
"Aright mate. Heard your pretty good at getting money out them fecking BASTARD companies." He looks at me as the left side of his face twitches uncontrollably. His head moves in perfect unison with the hideous twitch. He looks like he's performing some strange dance ritual whereby at the end I will come round to all of his demands and help him take down the evil tyrant. The northern twang is so evident in his voice I think my I should cut my own tongue out in case I ever acquire such an accent.
"Something like that" I smile hoping he will take note of my clean cut voice and adjust his tone to the necessary volume
"Well are you or aren't you?! I don't want some pussy bastard dealing with this! I WANT ME FUCKING MONEY!"
Oh...my...god. I'm going to die. If his voice doesn't kill me I may have to take my own life. As he screams at me about them company he was previously employed by I can't help but watch the spit fountain forth from his bulldog like features.
I gather myself.
"Right explain to me exactly how the accident occurred"
" I was at work, right? I saw this plug and it had loads' water round it, right? So I though I should plug the computer back in to the socket in case it were being used, right? The bastard thing would'nae work. So I got my screwdriver out and jammed it in the socket, right? Bastard thing shot me across the fucking room! I asked for some sick time and the fucking bastards fired me for incompetence! Can ye believe that!?"
"...You put a screw driver into a wet plug socket, and your blaming someone else?"
"Eye"
"Okay well if we establish were the water came from then maybe we have a case"
"I know were it came from! I spilt me bastard drink on the thing when are were lookin' for stamps."
"We have no case. I'm afraid nothing would stand in court. From what you have told me I can guarantee we have no chance of winning"
"Well forget what a told ye and just tell me what to say."
"Get out"
"Ye what?!"
"Please leave. I cannot ethically or morally lie to the courts. Please leave."
"Oh, you fucking TWAT. Your one of them bastard companies to isn't you?"
With that he grabbed my head and thrust his forehead straight into the bridge of my nose. The last thing I remember is the gentleman leaving through the door whilst showing me the V- sign.
I remember when I started this career I had visions of changing the world and making a difference. Lawyers were people respected for handling life changing cases and bringing justice to an unjust world. Now were tools, another way to make money out of a desperately capitalist world. I realise the irony of that as I wipe the blood off Channel tie. Now you can just sue anyone for anything, I am the scum of the earth. The lowest common denominator, a bottom feeding parasite leeching of the unfortunate...on the plus side blood doesn't stain and I have to go to the dry-cleaners anyway.
"For the times they are a changing..."
User Reviews
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-07-06 07:18:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-07-05 09:54:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
I am going to rate every one of your posts with a +2 without reading them.
Submitted by LSD420 (user info) at 2006-05-26 07:41:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy shit right as I started reading this, "The Times They Are A Changin'" started up on my computer. D00dzors, auto +2
Submitted by georgemichael (user info) at 2006-05-26 07:26:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sweet
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-05-12 11:15:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-04-03 10:22:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
for dylan.
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2006-04-03 09:32:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Dacin (user info) at 2006-04-03 07:10:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-03 06:51:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
-1 for imagining any lawyer would turn that down. They'd probably have a wank over it too.