Cryin' Shame (483 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.27 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Caulfield (View user info) at 2006-04-03 07:53:14 EDT
Crying gets a bad rap. Me, I've cried all my life. You can hide it; you can bury it away, but it's still there. The liquid is gone but the pain remains. Pain that would have felt oh so good comin' out wet, just lingers inside you. It sticks wherever it began, growing musty and stale. After a while, you reek of pain. It floats through your pores like there ain't nothin' there. Your shoulders droop, your head sinks. Your face is stoic, but your bullshit, rundown body is sobbing like a fuckin' baby.
Stubborn. Obstinate. Pigheaded. They're just words, but dress them in a nine to five, and heap shit on 'em for thirty years, and you'll see how burdensome they can become. Stayin' strong just to become so goddamn weak. The disease of the brave. The plague of the everyman.
Fathers will tell their sons "Cry no more, we're made of sterner stuff." Then they'll kick it at 50, their sons doin' their poppas proud by keeping it inside, by not sheddin' a fuckin' tear. And so the plague spreads to another generation, and then another after that, and then someday poppa the third loses son the forth, and he can't cry. He wants to cry; he needs to do it, but it's not there. The pipes are rusted and he can't find the strength to loosen them.
Those criers, those people so assaulted for their boo fuckin' hoos are the ones that end up facing life. The strong hide and find distractions. Got to build that fence, got to go to the store, got to mail the bills...got to stay awake.
Dreaming becomes your damnation. When you sleep, those memories can decide to come along and lay right on top of you, weighin' your chest down like a sack of anvils. The harder you push, the harder they dig in. You're not sleepin,' you're dyin.'
Then you wake up and the memories are as vivid as can be. You have to stare at the ceiling until they decide to dissipate, until they soak back into your bones. Three blinks and they're gone. Still, the feeling remains and it takes twice as many chores to cut into it. A lot gets done, but nothing gets solved.
I saw the signs. I had the brave poppa, the man who wouldn't tear up for nothin' or nobody. But I'd seen how he dealt with Eddie's death. A man as big as an Ox, hollowed out like a goddamn pumpkin.
I'd seen what the pain did to him, and I cry.
User Reviews
Submitted by Caulfield (user info) at 2006-04-03 17:11:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And thank you too, mles.
Submitted by Caulfield (user info) at 2006-04-03 17:08:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I used the apostrophes because that's how it sounded in my head. I just wanted to be consistent.
Sure, people can find other ways to deal with their problems, but most don't have the time and resources to commit to a decent heroin addiction.
Thanks, h8.
Submitted by mles76 (user info) at 2006-04-03 17:01:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well done sir.
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2006-04-03 16:53:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good work Holden.
Submitted by ampersand (user info) at 2006-04-03 16:48:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It only festers and burns if you let it. There are other ways to find mental release then emptying a box of tissues.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-04-03 12:54:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
TOO...MANY...CAULS....HEAD...ASSPLODING
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-04-03 12:49:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HELLO CAUL!
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-04-03 12:44:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by ripple (user info) at 2006-04-03 12:29:04 (#)
Ranking: 1
the apostrophe instead of 'g' overandoverandover got on my nerves a bit, but this wasnt bad.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-04-03 12:36:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
*cries*
Submitted by ripple (user info) at 2006-04-03 12:29:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
the apostrophe instead of 'g' overandoverandover got on my nerves a bit, but this wasnt bad.
Submitted by mrez (user info) at 2006-04-03 11:22:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-04-03 10:24:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-04-03 10:00:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment