A Daughter's Anguish (996 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.84 on 29 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by kissmyarse (View user info) at 2006-04-03 13:02:39 EDT
The past month has whirled by in visits to the hospital, family surrounding him, long hours sitting with him. Finally he agreed to come home with me.
He came home with me to die. They tell me two weeks, and just a few days that he's lucid enough for conversation. Some nurse or CNA is with him 24 hours a day to moniter his morphine pump and ng tube that sucks out the bile in his stomach through his nose--which is supposed to stop him from vomiting, because his secretions have nowhere to go.
He couldn't poop. He's 50 years old, divorced twice, his oldest son living with him both laid off from the Union, and he couldn't poop. He went to the hospital and they said he had colitis. Treated him with antibiotics. Didn't help much. He finally went to Palos Community and they gave him a cat scan and it showed a blockage. Blood work showed up norm. Surgery to follow. Chlostomy bag--worst case scenario.
The surgeon said in 35 years, he's never seen anything like it. Stage 4, spread everywhere, sprinkles of tumors spread all over his belly--nothing could be moved--like plaster in his belly. It's amazing that he walked in with his insides so taken over. We later found out it started in the stomach. Poorly Differentiated Carcinoma of Gastric Primary. Extensive. Nothing they could do...Terminal.
I am getting married in September. I'm his only girl. And the baby. I need him. I NEED him. He's my DAD! Too fucking young. He is supposed to walk me down the aisle and give me away. We're supposed to dance together. And cry together.
Hospice. Takes care of everything. I sit with him, I laugh with him, I remember with him, and I cry and hurt for him. Visitors come over to see him. He gets agitated and anxious sometimes, give him more meds. He's always been fond of pain medication, to block out emotional pain. And now it is whatever he wants, however much he wants, whenever he wants. Anything to keep him comfortable. He smokes in our apartment (we go outside), he does whatever he wants. And I'm happy to appease him.
Today, at 7 o'clock, family will come over. A family friend/musician will play Daddy's Little Girl on his guitar, and we will dance to it. It will be video taped for something we can remember.
User Reviews
Submitted by kissmyarse (user info) at 2007-06-29 17:10:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you think ratings mattered to me, you are sorely mistken Adumb.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2007-06-29 16:03:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I did this just to ruin your perfect rating.
I'm THAT big of an asshole
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2006-04-24 15:22:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by kissmyarse (user info) at 2006-04-04 09:45:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The dance didn't happen. He was vomitting and had to push his ng tube all the way back into his stomach. I'm ok if it doesn't happen. My mom's pissed though, she wants to do this dance so much.
Submitted by kissmyarse (user info) at 2006-04-04 09:42:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks for the comments people. It really helped me to write this.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-04-04 08:51:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My sympathy goes out to you.
My uncle passed in the same way. Except he died in his sleep.
He was only 33... and left behind 9 kids.
Try to remember to focus on the time you have had together, not the time you'll be without him.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-04-04 05:40:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If you're going to go it's good to know that your kids will be ok and taken care of.
The sincerity was delicious.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2006-04-03 21:25:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You'll make him proud if you're as brave as he.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2006-04-03 20:15:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i'm sorry
Submitted by Girlwithaclue (user info) at 2006-04-03 18:14:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Somehow kicker of all ass is not appropriate, so I will rate the emotion.
+2 for you and your family
May peace come to all of you.
Submitted by BrownEyedGirrl (user info) at 2006-04-03 18:07:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
my heart goes out to you....
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-04-03 17:54:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by runswithscissors (user info) at 2006-04-03 16:53:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I went thru this with both grandparents.............I cant, and don't want to, imagine
what it would be like with one of my parents.........
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2006-04-03 16:44:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-04-03 15:43:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Christ! Its shit like this that make me realise just how lucky I was.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-04-03 15:38:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy Fuck.
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2006-04-03 15:11:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I had a similar experience with my Mother passing. These times will be the most painful memories in your life.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2006-04-03 15:07:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2006-04-03 15:02:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-04-03 13:08:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
I have no words.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-04-03 14:58:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
are you STILL getting married to that same guy?
I hope you worked all your stuff out...
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-04-03 14:45:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Comment
Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2006-04-03 14:36:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-04-03 13:51:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by dove666 (user info) at 2006-04-03 13:28:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Moving.
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2006-04-03 13:23:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MichelleNJ (user info) at 2006-04-03 13:15:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Gave me goosebumps.
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-04-03 13:09:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-04-03 13:08:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have no words.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-04-03 13:06:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment