Gordito (622 hits)
Category: Politics -> LibertariansRating: 1.44 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by kL (View user info) at 2006-04-05 01:32:23 EDT
"Check," the devil languidly stated. God eyed him up and down, appraising his human facade.
The spawn of all evil responded with irritation, "Don't look at me like that Yahweh. It's annoying."
The Big Guy sighed, deftly moved a pawn to counter Satan's offensive, and commented, "We do love
playing to stereotypes, don't we Mephisto." The devil instantly evaporated and reappeared, now in
the form of an effervescent, glowing, ambiguous entity. Then, just as quickly, he shifted into a
white plush bear, then into his classic, red, cloven-hooved form. "Screw you, Allah; I'm an
individual. But if someone happens to see us, appearances have to be kept." "Who would see us here?"
Jehovah replied, gesturing around their rich cabin. Satan accomodatingly agreed, "Maybe you're
right. I am glad we moved here, Sinai was getting so dull." "Oh, look at us. We have become lazy,
you and I," God admonished, "We used to be everything; we balanced the Earth with good and evil, two
necessities. Now we just live for our view and our inane games." The onyx chess set disappeared and
the mahongany table which separated them now featured a modest globe. "I like where you're going
with this," Satan said, flashing a conniving grin. "Just wait, this won't be harmful, we just need
to get in touch with humanity again." God pressed the globe with a long, thick, aged finger, and
with a quick flash, the mountaintop cabin was empty.
***
Walking home from school, Cambie found himself compelled to take a different route for once.
He cut through Queen Elizabeth Park and strolled casually beside a pond full of quacking ducks. He
espied two men, one old and greyed, wearing corduroy pants and a naturally coloured jacket; the
other had a pointed, black goatee and wore a black jacket with sharp shoulders. They were feeding
the ducks and talking quietly. Cambie brought his head around back to the path and inexplicably
tripped on a stone. He over-balanced and fell headfirst into the pond. His indignation turned to
panic, as un unfathomable suction began to pull him deeper underneath the fat bellies of the
feasting ducks above. Divine air was forced into his lungs, and his descent continued. He was swept,
powerless, into a karstic cavern which was a miraculous respite from the suffocating water.
----
More to come if you guys think that this isn't too bad.
User Reviews
Submitted by GREEEN (user info) at 2006-04-05 23:01:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Liked it.
Submitted by cshape (user info) at 2006-04-05 19:12:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Mmmm wrote more today, will post another soon.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-04-05 14:17:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Kaos-King likes silly Divinity things...
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-04-05 11:03:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fix paragraphs and repost, it's not too late.
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-04-05 10:58:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That title sounds delicious.
Submitted by gonefiguring (user info) at 2006-04-05 08:37:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Got more? Toss it out there.
"Gordito" means "fat little boy" in Spanish.
"Gordita" (which is on the menu at Taco Bell) means "fat little girl" in Spanish.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-04-05 07:41:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
not bad at all. i'll read more if you post it.
make them longer and 100% less double-spaced
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-04-05 05:18:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Reminds me of a shiny book I read as a child.
Submitted by cshape (user info) at 2006-04-05 04:16:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks.
Yeah, and this won't be the title either. I just couldn't think of what to name it.
Submitted by EntityErased (user info) at 2006-04-05 03:25:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow. Nice.
Seriously, that was really good.
W00T Another Uber-Series!
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-05 03:01:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Yes, more please. What's with the whacked-out paragraphing, though?