Desperation. (817 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 1.96 on 33 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Davros (View user info) at 2006-04-05 08:24:25 EDT
She was alone at the table when I first saw her. There were two others sitting around the felt topped oval, but she was alone. She had drawn me here and I wasn't quite sure why, but I intended to find out.
Fourteen hours behind the wheel of a car that had seen better days had left me in a pretty poor state, but I just kept on moving until I arrived at the town of Desperation. Something was pulling me towards this place, which lived up to it's name. I had almost lost the trail a short while earlier but as I had passed the casino, I had felt the energy flowing back through me.
I didn't know who I was looking for, but I started with the slots. In these cases it was usually the best places to begin. It wasn't the first time I had been drawn to a casino, although this was possibly the saddest example I had ever entered. The slots were old and past their best. I stopped and threw a handful of change into one and watched as the reels dropped in crookedly with each pull of the handle. It didn't seem to bother the other patrons who continued to feed coins into the machines like automatons, their eyes glazed, hypnotised by the spinning reels and flashing lights. People desperately trying to win enough money to pay their rent next month.
I got no sense of her so I made my way across the floor, past the pits until I saw her sitting at a card table on the far side of the room. The connection returned immediately and I made my way over and drew up a seat. Passing a couple of bills to the dealer, no cashier in this high class establishment, I received a small stack of chips in return. As I ran my hand over the table I could feel the bobbling of the felt. The chips I collected were cracked and scarred, another sure-fire sign that in Desperation, the situation was rapidly becoming desperate.
I cautiously played the first two hands, studying her carefully. She was around my age, but looked somehow older. It was a tired and sad look, which is much as I expected. They usually are. My "gift" brings me into contact with this sort of person more often than any others.
Her aura was a pale turquoise colour, an unusual calmness that I hadn't expected to see.
My "gift", if that is what you can call it, allows me to see peoples aura as well as the slightly less pleasant aspect of these mental pulls that I get from time to time. I have had them since I was a child although they never really developed until I hit puberty, which was when the auras decided to make an appearance. I think I would have probably gone insane if they had been around as a child, just another part of the plan I would guess.
I reached my twenties before I started to act on the pulls. Until then it seemed like a dream that carried over into my waking life. They had turned me into a drifter, unable to hold a proper job, due to my frequent sojourns around the country. It reached a point that I could no longer ignore them and had to act when I felt a pull begin.
It is without doubt, the strangest sensation I have ever experienced. It is almost like being on autopilot. I believe that I could sit behind the wheel of my car and sleep, while the pull guided the car safely, but I have never tested this theory.
The most recent pull, took me away from a job as a short order cook in a wide place in the road town in California. I enjoyed it. The pay wasn't great, but there was always something going on. I knew I could get another job once I had finished with this business, but I was sure it wasn't going to be in Desperation.
I turned my attention to the other two people at the table.
The first was a woman in her late sixties. I named her the Matron. It was unusual to see her type at a poker table, they were usually more attracted to the slots or keno. She had a vibrant lilac aura, which never changed whether she was winning or losing and matched her perfume.
The second aroused my interest more. He was a big guy, close to three hundred pounds would be my guess, but big in a powerful way rather than fat. The thing that interested me more was his aura. It was pure black and I sensed danger emanating from him. "The Bear" may have looked harmless to an average person, but I could see through the façade to the violence underneath. As I sat I became more convinced that he was part of the reason I was there.
We played on for a while longer, before the Bear ran out of chips and left the table. The Matron was soon following, cashing in her remaining chips and bidding us all goodnight, though I suspected good morning would have been closer to the truth.
The dealer informed us that the table would be closed, as they required a minimum of three players to run a game. I pushed my chips across to him to cash in and was relieved to see her do the same. She looked at her watch and looked unhappy with what she saw.
"Care to join me for a drink?", I asked.
She glanced at her watch again, before replying.
"Sure. Why Not."
I ordered the Vodka Tonic she had asked for and a longneck for me before joining her at the table in the lounge. I tried to think of something to say, but the silence seemed comfortable.
For the first time I noticed a tint of grey that was present in her aura. A sadness that I had not been able to detect under the harsh lights of the gaming room. In an instant I knew her story, or something resembling it. I had seen it too many times before. She was trying to escape something. As much of a drifter as I was, never staying in one place too long. I also knew that Desperation was not a place to settle, no matter how short a time it may be for.
I was happy when, after a second round, which she insisted on buying, she accepted my offer to walk her back to her motel. I hoped this would give me a chance to voice my concerns about the things that had drawn me to her. Never an easy task, but one which I felt compelled to do.
As we exited the casino, the early morning sun glared in our eyes. It was almost unnaturally quiet as we walked towards the far end of the town, away from the casino and towards the interstate. There were no birds singing. No breeze rustled the dried up, dying trees that lined the side of the road. No crickets basked in the, already hot, day.
I had seen the cluster of fast food outlets and cheap motels on my way into town and it quickly became obvious that we were headed in that direction. I knew that I didn't have long before I was going to have to say goodbye, as, even if she had invited me in, I would have refused.
I waited until we reached the forecourt of a motel, that looked as if it was usually rented by the hour rather than the night, before I spoke.
"Ever get the feeling that a place is gonna go bad real quick?"
She shrugged.
"I get the feeling about this place."
She looked me straight in the eyes for possibly the first time since I had met her.
"Yeah. Something feels wrong here."
I was glad that she had at least felt the bad vibrations of the place.
"I think I am going to walk back to my car and leave. I would suggest that you do the same. Forget about sleep and just go. This place isn't right."
A trace of a smile crossed her face.
"You could be right, I might just do that".
With that I took my leave of her.
I sometimes wish I could do more, but this seems to be the limit of my abilities. I wish I was some kind of superhero, it would make it easier to respond to the pulls that haunt me, but I'm not. If the Bear was involved he would be able to walk through me as if I wasn't there. I would be able to offer no protection for her or any of the others I have followed. I sometimes think that it is a cruel God that has given me this gift, (or is it a curse?), that I am compelled to follow, yet can have no ultimate impact upon.
I will get out of this desperate town and watch the news with interest for the next few days.
I hope that she could dig into her subconscious enough to hear the messages that I could. I hope that she left before anything bad happened. I hope that she found what she was looking for, or escaped what she was running from.
I hope.
-Dave
User Reviews
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:52:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Get the ferry across to Liverpool, and we'll meet in Manchester. It will be cool. Dave can look at the buses and marvel.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:50:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The closest I will get is probably North Antrim coast. I wanted to hit London but the boy who was supposed to join me will no longer be doing so. Sigh.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:31:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:25:20 (#)
Ranking: 0
See I don't understand this.
I was below a +2 rating, MichelleNJ rated it +1 then upped it to +1.5.
I got back a perfect +2. (Not that I was complaining).
Everyone since has +2 ed this, now it goes back below.
How the hell does that happen?
Not that ratings matter, just that this is confusing me.
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Sac, you are visiting?
You know we need little reason to get together as a group. You hitting London?
I may even be able to drag Red down from his exile in the North.
-Dave
---
It's true. I am available for parties, soirees and get togethers. I am equally at home in an pub showing the football and a classy restaurant. Either way, I will walk the line between unsettling observational comedy and hilarious hijinks.
Somebody buy me a beer. Day is distressing me.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:25:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
See I don't understand this.
I was below a +2 rating, MichelleNJ rated it +1 then upped it to +1.5.
I got back a perfect +2. (Not that I was complaining).
Everyone since has +2 ed this, now it goes back below.
How the hell does that happen?
Not that ratings matter, just that this is confusing me.
------------
Sac, you are visiting?
You know we need little reason to get together as a group. You hitting London?
I may even be able to drag Red down from his exile in the North.
-Dave
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:19:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-04-06 02:52:49 (#)
Ranking: 0
Strange that with all the other Stephen King references that people have pointed out, no one mentioned that the title is shared with one of his novels.
I didn't actually know that when I wrote it.
-Dave
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This was one of my first thoughts when I started to read, Dave. What I found stranger, though, is that you also made it the name of a town. You are invoking the spirit of teh king..in a good way.
I tried to read Desperation when I went to Ireland in '98, and never finished it. Maybe I'll try another shot when I visit your fair island next month.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:18:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
-Not Dave
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:02:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When did you learn how to rite so good?
:)
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-04-06 03:02:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oooh.. I really really like this
more, more, more, more more...
<blush>
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-04-06 02:52:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Strange that with all the other Stephen King references that people have pointed out, no one mentioned that the title is shared with one of his novels.
I didn't actually know that when I wrote it.
-Dave
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2006-04-05 22:56:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't be so surprised by the perfect +2. You deserve it sweetheart.
<hugs>
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-04-05 20:40:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You always sign your posts:
-Dave
Or something.
So,
-Ghola
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-04-05 15:49:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How did this end up as a +2?
It was lower than that earlier and I thought that regaining the lost +2 was impossible.
-Dave
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-04-05 15:10:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-05 13:26:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Really interesting Dave.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2006-04-05 12:42:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BigMike has a point. Usually when he puts his two cents in I listen. I appreciated the brevity of
this but at the same time the one place I would have fleshed out more was the feel of the town.
Was there a feel to it that would have given it its name that someone without the 'gift' would be able to pick up on?
Otherwise, this was superb. I would love to read more stories with this charachter.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-05 11:20:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Can you tell me something about my aura, Dave?
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-04-05 11:02:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-04-05 10:25:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This wasn't too long.
Write it how it comes out no matter the length. Sometimes I think mine are too long but that's just how it goes. Just write it.
Submitted by dove666 (user info) at 2006-04-05 10:17:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Interesting.
Needs background music.
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2006-04-05 09:25:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
thumbs up
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-04-05 09:22:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-04-05 08:36:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
Made me think of David Firth's Alan.
----------------
Weird. I have watched most of the fat-pie stuff, Donkey linked me to it ages ago, but I have never seen that one.
Does have something of a resemblance.
Well worth a look if you are interested.
(Google link loads up much faster than the site one does).
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=6905287196821870736&q=david+firth&pl=true
-Dave
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-04-05 09:14:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-04-05 09:06:59 (#)
Ranking: 2
This piece has a rushed feel to it like you just had to get it out somehow, someway. The adventures of this main character would be interesting to read as he makes his way from town to town, situation to situation, aura to aura...
... awaking to find himself trapped in the past, striving to put right what once went wrong and hoping that his next leap will be the leap home.
Only, DUN DUN DUUUUUUHHHH, he has no home! Ergo there's no need for some crazy sureal 'meeting God in a diner' episode.
------------
Another Quantum Leap Fan?
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Mike, I can see what you mean.
Initially Desperation wasn't intended to be the name of the town, it just kind of worked out that way. I guess I wanted the lead to be slightly detatched, perhaps not as much as he comes across, to illustrate the point that he feels impotent in his position.
I may go back to this in a day or two and try and do a rewrite.
I actually didn't realise that is was as long as it is until I posted it, so maybe it could be broken down into sections if I extend it.
Either way thanks for the review and the constructive crit.
-Dave
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-04-05 09:06:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This piece has a rushed feel to it like you just had to get it out somehow, someway. The adventures of this main character would be interesting to read as he makes his way from town to town, situation to situation, aura to aura...
... awaking to find himself trapped in the past, striving to put right what once went wrong and hoping that his next leap will be the leap home.
Only, DUN DUN DUUUUUUHHHH, he has no home! Ergo there's no need for some crazy sureal 'meeting God in a diner' episode.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-04-05 08:58:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dave,
I like the whole idea of this. Interesting, but too compact. I didn't think this was long enough. It could have used a little more color in the descriptions and observations. I don't get to see the casino or get the feel of the hopelessness of the town. I wanted more of that. I like the whole "aura" effect, but still, a little more of how the main character feels, a little more emotion might have been nice.
This piece has a rushed feel to it like you just had to get it out somehow, someway. The adventures of this main character would be interesting to read as he makes his way from town to town, situation to situation, aura to aura.
The +2 is because this is a really interesting story. For what it's worth, I found it a little hard to read gramatically.
Just a few thoughts.
BM
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-04-05 08:52:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wossname has a point, it is a little Deadzone.
But then, isn't everything? If it was on TV I would still watch it.
Submitted by MichelleNJ (user info) at 2006-04-05 08:51:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Actually, have a 2. I really liked this.
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2006-04-05 08:47:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked it. Liked it muchly a lot
Submitted by MichelleNJ (user info) at 2006-04-05 08:47:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
It was good... too Stephen King-like though. Reminded me of a mix of his books that I've read.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-04-05 08:45:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
WTF? I'm not reading all that.
It is longer than I thought too.
-Dave
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2006-04-05 08:43:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Cor, that's good that is.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-04-05 08:39:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Just a couple of things.
This is an idea that came to me yesterday after an afternoon session on the beer and a short sleep. I guess it is something I dreamed, I don't really remember, but I just woke up and it was there. I just wanted to get it down and find out what people thought.
The ending was ripped off from "Rita Heyworth and the Shawshank Redemtion" by Stephen King. I wanted to convey the feeling that he couldn't do anything about the situation, except what he had already done.
I really like the charecter, a kind of impotent hero that had the knowledge of things but not the skills to to stop them.
There may be more of this guy if I can mange to find a way to carry on the story, but at the moment I am not really sure.
Hope you enjoy.
-Dave
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-04-05 08:36:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Made me think of David Firth's Alan.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-04-05 08:25:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Cool weirdy SF. Like it.