The penultimate chapter of a zombie hunters first tale (944 hits)
Category: GeneralLabels: zombie
Rating: 2 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Nath (w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m) (View user info) at 2006-04-05 12:03:39 EDT
Part 1: http://www.ubersite.com/m/82578
Part 2: http://www.ubersite.com/m/82892
Part 3: http://www.ubersite.com/m/82945
Part 4: http://www.ubersite.com/m/82996
Part 5: http://www.ubersite.com/m/83134
Part 6: http://www.ubersite.com/m/83196
Part 7: http://www.ubersite.com/m/83306
Part 8: http://www.ubersite.com/m/84278 <- Dream intermission
Part 9: http://www.ubersite.com/m/84453
Part 10: http://www.ubersite.com/m/85871
Part 11: http://www.ubersite.com/m/85972
---
I stood in the middle of the park, facing the oncoming horde of undead. I tightened my grip on the handle of the crossbow, making sure the carry strap was firmly over my shoulder.
There seemed to be a fairly clear path down the middle of them, so I thought I'd get middle-earth on their asses. I slung the crossbow over my back and pulled out one of the swords and started running.
When I was as close as I dared get, I dropped the metal tray in front of me and tried jumping on it. My intention was the emulate Legolas riding the shield, except better, because I wouldn't rely on special effects.
Legolas was a lucky bastard to have special effects on his side.
The second I leapt onto the tray the fucking slid on the smooth path and I flew backwards, landing quite heavy on my side. I landed on the MP3 player, crushing it under my weight. This was like an invite for the zombies, as they began closing in quicker than I'd ever seen them move before.
I started swinging the sword around randomly. Hopefully it would look less random from the pod in the London Eye, where my friends were all waiting.
God knows what happened, but I do remember hearing a lot of gushing blood and screaming. They were doing the gushing blood part. We won't discuss who was screaming.
With a smart roll, I managed to get onto my back with the crossbow in my hand.
I turned to the nearest zombie, who looked like he was just about to lunge at me. Either that or just throw up. Either way, I wouldn't be happy with the outcome, so I fired.
The arrow made the familiar whoosh noise as it left the bow, sailed through the air and past the zombie's ear. There was a loud smash as the arrow hit into the nearest lamp and a large portion of the already sparse light disappeared.
"Oh for fucks sake." I muttered.
It seemed that the zombies were just as confused by the sudden loss of light as I was, except for those who were closest, who carried on towards me. I took the brief moment that I had and leaped to my feet.
I had to get back to the London Eye.
I turned towards it and saw that only four of the zombies were blocking my way. I grabbed my sword on the way and swung it quite wildly, making a large enough gap for me to get through safely.
Through the end of the group, I sprinted back to where I started, when I heard a noise that was like beautiful music to me. It was an orgasm for my ears.
About thirty meows coming from the shadows. I skidded to a stop and turned towards the source of the noise. Slowly a mass of cats stepped into the dim light, all looking towards me.
If cats can smile, then I'd swear they were. But as cats are soulless, I don't believe they can smile. But souls or no souls, I needed them. Fingers crossed they'd had plenty to drink.
I looked up to the pod, where I could see vague silhouettes of everyone stood by the glass. Making a quick motion for them to all come down, I turned back to the group of zombies.
They were still a good twenty metres away from me, so I had plenty of time to load up the crossbow. This time I took a steady aim at the nearest one. The arrow missed, but hit the one behind it, which was a good silver medal.
I loaded up again and took another shot. This time it went right between his eyes. And down a bit. And too the left. But the fact was it hit the fucking thing. I was getting good at this shit.
By the time I had finished up loading another arrow, my friends had managed to join me, and the cats had all gathered around. The zombies were about five metres away now.
"What the hell are we doing?" Gregg asked.
"KILLING MY FUCKING MOTHER!" Another voice from the shadows, as a spear flew from the source, skewered a zombie and then got pulled back into the shadow.
"Martin?" I called. Things certainly were looking up.
"I brought the cats." He said, stepping out into the light. "Thought they'd come in handy."
"I've got a plan." Ed said to the group.
"I've got a better one." I said. "Grab a weapon and kill these mother fuckers."
I didn't wait for agreement as I charged forwards, but everyone followed my lead. Including the cats.
Charging forwards I fired my final arrow. God knows where it went, but the group of zombies was so thickly packed it must have hit one. In a swift movement I swung the crossbow over my back, accidentally hitting Ed in the face, knocking him over.
Susan stopped to pick him up, because there was no way I was stopping.
---
After twenty minutes of blood spilling, cat pissing and sword swinging, we had worked our way through the entire horde of zombies. They had all fallen or just disappeared.
By the end we were all stood in a group in the middle of the park, where the light was slightly better. We were all panting and clearly exhausted, even the cats. We hadn't lost anyone in the fight, and some of us had minor injuries caused by falls and miss hits. But no bites.
Even all the cats seemed to make it through, which was a bonus.
"What the fuck just happened?" Asked Emma, looking shocked at herself and everyone else around. "We just massacred them."
"Adrenaline?" Ed suggested.
"Nah," I muttered. "We're just fucking awesome."
"So, about my plan," Ed said, trying to address everyone.
"Forget your plan." I said. "We're going to avenge Kaptain Kitten back. And our home."
"I'm up for that." Andy said, blood still trickling down the blade of the homemade sword.
"I don't give a fuck what happens." I said. "But Adams is mine. I've got a gift for him."
We all walked off towards the base of the London Eye where we had left all our stuff, and then headed towards the van. With all the cats in as well, it was pretty tightly packed, but it would only be a short, one-way journey.
No one mentioned it, but I think we all knew, if we didn't get the housing back for ourselves, we would die trying.
User Reviews
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-04-06 07:49:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll be sad to see the end of this.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-04-05 20:40:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yes you're a fabulous human being. Yes you are.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-04-05 18:56:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-04-05 18:00:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Kew dat mofo adams!!!
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2006-04-05 16:31:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
On second thought, I'll link you anyway. We have no business cards, and I have been told that we would be much cooler if we did. email me for the link. cookielass24.at.yahoo.com
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-04-05 16:15:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I still think you should bring Kaptain Kitten back as a zombie kitty or as a regular kitty with the whole nine lives thing.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-04-05 16:04:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-04-05 13:55:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're good...
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-04-05 13:51:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
DEATH TO ZOMBIES AND KITTEN KILLERS!
Submitted by STIXS (user info) at 2006-04-05 13:29:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 is implied when you write
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2006-04-05 12:40:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That would be awesome, cookie.
Does he have his own business cards though?
http://stuff.ubersite.com/114347023428328048/1/businessCard.jpg
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2006-04-05 12:37:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nath, it's a pity you're so very far away, or I would link you to my good friend's zombie-killing forum. I think you'd like it.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-04-05 12:17:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this is full of awesomeness
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-05 12:12:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Proper wicked.