FUPA: Round 4 Matchups/Theme (5020 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: fupa
Rating: 1.21 on 415 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Orgasmatron (View user info) at 2006-04-06 01:25:42 EDT
Rd. 4: THEME: NATURE/ART -- posts due by 4.10
Rd. 5: pairing/theme posted 4.13 -- post due by 4.17
Winner announced 4.19
Some notes on this round:
Posts are due by 11:59PM Eastern, Monday, April 10.
Pairings were drawn, again, at random, from the Cupped Hand of Fate (I'm out of hats).
There isn't going to be a bracket for this round because I'm about three hours away from waking up and heading to the airport, and since the file I've been using is at the office I don't much feel like recreating the fonts and formatting from scratch. I can repost on Monday, for continuity's sake, if you find yourself jonesing for a jpg.
The final four:
goferferhire - Circe
Sacrilicious - Bubba2341
--
Round 3 wrap:
Beauty once again brings down the beast, as Lishy comes out on top (insert joke here). I really need to stop facing women in writing competitions. I've got an 0-2 record against vaginas.
Orgasmatron - Ticking: http://www.ubersite.com/m/86220
My piece about the constant movement of time in the world.
Sacrilicious - Mother Night: http://www.ubersite.com/m/86167
Lish pens a moving, intimate piece about the passing of a parent.
wardy, the perpetual gentleman, lets Circe sneak in after the deadline. Circe repays him by donkey punching him with her lyrical knockers.
This is why men don't hold doors open anymore.
Circe - Spoils of war: http://www.ubersite.com/m/86253
Sometimes a clock is just a clock. Sometimes it's much, much more than that...
wardy - If I wasn't dead inside, I'd have already killed myself: http://www.ubersite.com/m/86255
wardy plays against expectations here and sacrifices flash for language. No, really. Check it out.
gofer and Ax duke it out in a "battle of 'underappreciated animal' usernames." gofer pulls it out and moves on to the final four.
goferferhire - The Horror: http://www.ubersite.com/m/86171
A man reflects on his childhood and on the part he played in the Holocaust.
Axolotl - A Chink in the Light Between Eternities: http://www.ubersite.com/m/86189
Unfortunately this was NOT about a Chinese guy sneaking around in the cosmos. Fortunately, it was a stylized look at the span of a human life.
The numbered men go toe to toe, and Bubba proves victorious. I heard that Bubs was so excited he went out and refilled his Viagra prescription.
JMG114 - Cosmicosm: http://www.ubersite.com/m/86188
JMG's piece about the persistence of memory.
Bubba2341 - A Jumble of Time: http://www.ubersite.com/m/86164
Bubba writes sweeping stanzas about family, aging and the choices we make with our days.
--
This round was, simply put, fantastic in terms of the writing it produced. I couldn't be happier with the entries, and hopefully all of you feel the same.
Place your bets on this semifinal round. It should be killer.
Good luck.
And since I don't have a bracket, deal with this. If you squint hard enough, you can see the pairings and previous matchups in it:
User Reviews
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-06-20 02:08:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-13 22:26:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Irish beer? Yes! English beer? Fuckin-A!
American beer? Yes! There actually are many that are good, just not Budweiser,
Coors, Miller, or any of that dogpiss. Sierra Nevada pale ale or porter,
Anchor Steam, etc.
No one with a brain wastes his time on sports.. :-O
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-13 18:14:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't personally own any teams, so I can't name them at all.
We do have one team known as the knickerbockers. They play in some sport I don't care about.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-13 18:11:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why do you name your teams after items of clothing? And surely socks are the least glamourous items?
Unless you have Philadelphia Jockstraps or similar.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-13 18:08:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
They are indeed.
The only team that came close was the Boston RedSox, but they finally paid out billions more to their players than all other teams, minus one, and finally won a championship two years ago after an 86 year hiatus.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-13 17:57:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-13 17:56:45 (#)
Ranking: 2
No no. That would be the Chicago Cubs.
---
Oh yes. Even over here in the UK we hear how much they suck. They're some source of national amusement aren't they?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-13 17:56:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No no. That would be the Chicago Cubs.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-13 17:45:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-13 17:42:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
I drink Irish Beer.
You and Orgasmatron will both pay with your lives for the comments against my beloved Cardinals. You can take that to the bank.
I watch the occassional football game, and enjoy it, I just don't have enough access to it to really get into it.
Don't care for basketball. Don't really care for American football. Hockey is alright.
Seething with murderous rage,
scourge. oftheseas no less.
---
Sea-thing with rage eh? Are the Cardinals that team who have a nice colour scheme but never win anything? *english innocent look*
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-13 17:42:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I drink Irish Beer.
You and Orgasmatron will both pay with your lives for the comments against my beloved Cardinals. You can take that to the bank.
I watch the occassional football game, and enjoy it, I just don't have enough access to it to really get into it.
Don't care for basketball. Don't really care for American football. Hockey is alright.
Seething with murderous rage,
scourge. oftheseas no less.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-13 17:30:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-13 17:25:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
YOU WEREN'T JOKING! YOU WERE SERIOUS AND YOU HURT MY FEELINGS DAMMIT!
I drink good beer. Too much of it as a matter of fact.
And good sport? I told you I was a St. Louis Cardinals fan didn't I? Pay attention man.
---
I shall keep your feelings in a bag. And look at them occasionally while snickering.
We must discuss beers. What English beers do you drink?
And are the Cardinals an American Football team or a Baseball team? Or Basketball? Either way, it's not proper sport. I'm sorry, you've been deluded all these years. Thankfully, there's a cure.
English Premiership games can be watched over the internet. May I recommend an appealing attacking team like Arsenal?
Fond Regards
Red Skies Often Look Fake.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-13 17:25:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YOU WEREN'T JOKING! YOU WERE SERIOUS AND YOU HURT MY FEELINGS DAMMIT!
I drink good beer. Too much of it as a matter of fact.
And good sport? I told you I was a St. Louis Cardinals fan didn't I? Pay attention man.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-13 17:04:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And I meant jealous about beer and good sport Scourge old pal
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-13 17:03:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-13 17:00:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
Jealous?
I don't know the meaning of the word. I'm a free love kind of guy personally. Feeling possessiveness over another human is pretty disturbing and disgusting. People do what they please.
If the people you care about are happy, shouldn't you be happy for them?
Lishy asked me to do something in a joke so I said I would, also a joke, as was this whole thread.
Don't be silly little Brit.
---
adj.
Fearful or wary of being supplanted; apprehensive of losing affection or position.
Resentful or bitter in rivalry; envious: jealous of the success of others.
Inclined to suspect rivalry.
Having to do with or arising from feelings of envy, apprehension, or bitterness: jealous thoughts.
Vigilant in guarding something: We are jealous of our good name.
Intolerant of disloyalty or infidelity; autocratic: a jealous God.
[Middle English jelous, from Old French gelos, jealous, zealous, from Vulgar Latin *z?l?sus, from Late Latin z?lus, zeal. See zeal.]
But I'm joking too Scourge ;)
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-13 17:00:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jealous?
I don't know the meaning of the word. I'm a free love kind of guy personally. Feeling possessiveness over another human is pretty disturbing and disgusting. People do what they please.
If the people you care about are happy, shouldn't you be happy for them?
Lishy asked me to do something in a joke so I said I would, also a joke, as was this whole thread.
Don't be silly little Brit.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-13 16:51:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't think I've attended a school disco since I was 14.
I'd much rather sit in a pub, drinking proper beer and discussing proper football.
Jealous much Scourge?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-13 16:48:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
To be altogether fair, I abuse people for being Americans too.
I just like the way 'crumpet muncher' sounds. Plus, gross generalizations about people based off of their country of origin/residence are fun.
But I'll get his 'disco' attending ass anyway.
disco
disco
disco
HAHAHAHA
disco
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-13 16:45:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-13 16:28:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
He verbally abuses me about being American, scourge. Get him.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-13 16:23:21 (#)
Ranking: 0
scourge loses no pints you crumpet munching bastard.
Oh...points...
I'm not a competitive type.
'Cept when a crook tooth comes to try and steal away all the American ladies. She's an American too you baseball bashing fuck. Is she numbered among the 'bloody Americans' that you like to go on about? HUH?
ANSWER ME LIMEY.
---
I really want some crumpets now. 'Bloody Americans' is very much a term of endearment. It's affectionate, like a nuggie.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-13 16:28:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
He verbally abuses me about being American, scourge. Get him.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-13 16:23:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
scourge loses no pints you crumpet munching bastard.
Oh...points...
I'm not a competitive type.
'Cept when a crook tooth comes to try and steal away all the American ladies. She's an American too you baseball bashing fuck. Is she numbered among the 'bloody Americans' that you like to go on about? HUH?
ANSWER ME LIMEY.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-13 15:42:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-13 15:40:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-13 15:21:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-13 15:19:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
SORRY, RED.
We call them "dances" or "proms", because, you know..it isn't 1977 anymore.
---
But do grown adults dress up as slutty school girls and play music from that era again - while trying to copulate with any man?
I believe that is 1:0 to me.
==========
YES, we do. I believe that is 1:0 to me.
---
Well, as long as Scourge loses points too.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-13 15:40:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-13 15:21:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-13 15:19:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
SORRY, RED.
We call them "dances" or "proms", because, you know..it isn't 1977 anymore.
---
But do grown adults dress up as slutty school girls and play music from that era again - while trying to copulate with any man?
I believe that is 1:0 to me.
==========
YES, we do. I believe that is 1:0 to me.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-13 15:38:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Greetings from Australia, children.
It's 5:38 am Easter Friday, and I'm drunk as hell. My friends and I have been up all night singing songs that we loved once upon a time, and it has been brilliant.
All is well.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-04-13 15:29:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i wish my school had a disco.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-13 15:21:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-13 15:19:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
SORRY, RED.
We call them "dances" or "proms", because, you know..it isn't 1977 anymore.
---
But do grown adults dress up as slutty school girls and play music from that era again - while trying to copulate with any man?
I believe that is 1:0 to me.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-13 15:19:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SORRY, RED.
We call them "dances" or "proms", because, you know..it isn't 1977 anymore.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-13 15:17:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-13 15:10:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
What the hell is a school disco?
---
Bloody Americans
http://images.google.com/images?client=safari&rls=en&q=%22school%20disco%22&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&percentage_served=100&sa=N&tab=wi
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-13 15:10:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What the hell is a school disco?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-13 14:58:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Stop singing about lesbians?
That's the first time any man's ever requested this from me.
The answer is "no".
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-13 14:57:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-13 14:56:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
You two quit it.
With nobody mature here to oversee, trouble could happen.
Now stop it.
---
Booo! He's like a teacher at a school disco!
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-13 14:56:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You two quit it.
With nobody mature here to oversee, trouble could happen.
Now stop it.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-13 14:55:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Is it about lesbians? Fair enough.
I'm going to have a bath shortly.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-13 14:47:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Umm..red..*whispers* "it's a GIRL singing it to a GIRL."
I'm singing it to Circe.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-13 14:46:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I want to wear your clothes?
Hmmm
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-13 14:38:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That girl thinks she's the queen of the neighborhood
She's got the hottest dyke in town
That girl she holds her head up so high
I think I wanna be her best friend
Rebel Girl, Rebel Girl
Rebel Girl you are the queen of my world
Rebel Girl, Rebel Girl
I think I wanna take you home
I wanna try on your clothes
When she walks, the revolutions coming
In her hips, there's revolution
When she talks, I hear the revolution
In her kiss, I taste the revolution
Rebel Girl, Rebel Girl
Rebel Girl you are the queen of my world
Rebel Girl, Rebel Girl
I know I wanna take you home
I wanna try on your clothes
That girl thinks she's the queen of the neighborhood
I got news for you, she IS!
They say she's a slut, but I know
She is my best friend
Rebel Girl, Rebel Girl
Rebel Girl you are the queen of my world
Rebel Girl, Rebel Girl
I think I wanna take you home
I wanna try on your clothes
Love you like a sister always
Soul sister, Rebel Girl
Come and be my best friend,
Really Rebel Girl
I really like you, I really wanna be your best friend
Be my Rebel Girl
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-13 14:07:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-13 13:34:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
Pussy PWNS.
---
Yes it does.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-13 13:54:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes, yes it does.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-13 13:34:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pussy PWNS.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-13 13:32:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's lost his attention since he FAILED at his own game.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-13 13:28:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well this is getting increasingly more anticlimactic.
UberDaddy must be busy at work.
um..heat?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-13 11:28:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Animals don't count.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-04-13 10:19:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I don't have a vagina myself but I deal with a lot of vagina - more in a month than any of you have collectively, in your lives.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-13 10:06:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HICKIES FOR EVERYONE!
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-13 01:00:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-13 00:33:51 (#)
Ranking: 0
You're free to have a 3rd place match if y'all like.
Hell, there can even be a FUPA's King of the Sandy Vagina mini-tournament featuring Shlongy and...er...Shlongy.
------------
I think I know how that goes though. Nobody wins.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-13 00:33:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You're free to have a 3rd place match if y'all like.
Hell, there can even be a FUPA's King of the Sandy Vagina mini-tournament featuring Shlongy and...er...Shlongy.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-04-13 00:30:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-13 00:28:14 (#)
Ranking: 2
I think we should have a 3rd place match between the two people knocked out in the semifinals.
----------------------
I'm up if you are, Bubba... and Orgasmotron, too, I guess has a say... his contest and all.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-13 00:28:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think we should have a 3rd place match between the two people knocked out in the semifinals.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-13 00:26:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bubba-
I think this may have come down to my choice of posting time. I'm truly shocked by the final.
I'm glad we got to go up against each other. You rock my face off.
Keep writing, please.
Love,
Sacrilicious
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-04-13 00:22:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah yes, luck to you both, and I will be sure to rate you all fairly. Let's hope it's all straight shooting in the final
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-13 00:18:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now is the time for all good raters to slam me with a gaggle 0f +2s...
What? Too late? Well, pork me in the poop chute. . . .
Yo, Saccy, rotsa ruck in the final. . .
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-04-12 23:58:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've moved on- http://www.ubersite.com/m/86594 ...
It's neither poetry nor funny.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-12 23:50:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now's the time, kitty cats!
Revise your ratings if you need to!
Make sure your voices are heard!
etc
etc
et al
WOO!
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-12 23:44:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sacrilicious - The Modern Madonna: http://www.ubersite.com/m/86462
Bubba2341 - Mother: http://www.ubersite.com/m/86431
goferferhire - Magnificent City - http://www.ubersite.com/m/86469
Circe - Kalgoorlie - http://www.ubersite.com/m/86476
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-12 23:30:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Getcher lass minute votes in before it's too a-lateah.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-12 20:40:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I want to breathe, I want to grow,
I'd say I want it but I don't know how
I work, I bleed, I beg, I pray,
but I'm better off dead,
I'm better off dead,
I'm better off
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-12 20:24:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Bellybutton.
Not bellbutton.
My bellbutton has neither a mohawk nor pubes on or near it.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-12 20:11:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I have a pube mohawk.
True story.
It starts at my bellbutton and wraps all the way up and over to the top of my ass.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-12 19:52:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If we shoots all dem hawks dey won't be no mohawks. . .
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-12 19:47:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-12 16:45:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
I can no longer shave my head because of my work.
I miss my days of having a mohawk.
==========
Mohawks are teh hotness.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-12 19:45:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Zero point seven five inch hair? Holy shit. My hair hasn't been less than 12 inches long for
over 20 years. . .
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-12 17:18:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-12 17:15:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
I type with my mind. Tell no one.
---
That's why you keep typing *diddles self* eh? ;)
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-12 17:15:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I type with my mind. Tell no one.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-12 17:12:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-12 17:11:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
How do you know?
---
You couldn't type that fast if you had to leap from key to key like Thumberlina.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-12 17:11:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How do you know?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-12 17:09:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-12 17:08:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
I want to be buried in my doc martens.
---
You're not that little Licious.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-12 17:08:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I want to be buried in my doc martens.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-12 17:07:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd fuck TTOMs day up.
I never got alomg with most of the skins in my hometown.
Mostly Nazis they were. Few guys who were just working class types, they were decent guys, good taste in music and booze and all. Couple SHARPs, and couple guys who were basically just clothes horses for Docs and Fred Perrys. But mostly Nazis.
Only three of them ever tried to stab me.
Hint: Don't get into racial arguments with Nazis at punk shows.
Another hint: When you split one of their faces open with a billy club, and there are ten of them, DO NOT try and fight the rest. Run like hell.
Another hint: The back of your head is worth protecting when someone swings a 40 oz. at it.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-12 16:56:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That is dehumanising. Look at The Taste Of Monks. Dangerous skin head - he'd give you a Chelsea smile.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-12 16:53:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
3/4 inch?
Huh, I thought maybe I had a skinhead on my hands here. A real live Tank Abbott kind of HammerSkin guy.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-12 16:47:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have gone for a three quarter inch cut - which is not too short. It is now getting fluffy however - which is not good.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-12 16:45:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can no longer shave my head because of my work.
I miss my days of having a mohawk.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-12 16:40:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am going to have an early night shortly. I shall watch Road Trip and drink Czech beer - safe in teh knowledge that tomorrow i have nothing to do except shave my head.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-12 16:35:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's almost 80 farenheit here. Not a cloud in the sky. Gorgeous really. Shame I haven't left my desk all day. Oh well, I have the window open at least.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-12 16:25:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You americans and your warm climates. It was far too bastard cold to go commando today.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-12 16:15:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-12 16:06:30 (#)
Ranking: 0
In other news, guess what color underwear I'm wearing?
TRICK QUESTION, NEGROES...DADDY'S GOING COMMANDO ALL DAY.
====
ME TOO!!!
Mine is just because I was too lazy to do any laundry last night though. But what the hell, right? The boys like to breathe now and then...
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-12 16:12:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow..so am I.
We're simpatico. Only I'm going to assume you aren't wearing a skirt. Bad assumption?
*diddles furiously at desk*
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-12 16:06:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Everyone remember to get out and vote before 11:59 Eastern tonight.
This includes me.
In other news, guess what color underwear I'm wearing?
TRICK QUESTION, NEGROES...DADDY'S GOING COMMANDO ALL DAY.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-12 14:32:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I use what I have at work. An IBM ThinkPad, nothing fancy. I rarely come near a computer when I'm not here.
I don't even HAVE a magic computey box at home. Too much to do once I leave this place anyway. I've been considering a purchase, but have yet to decide what to do about it. I'd waste a lot more of my time than I do now if I had one at home.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-12 14:20:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You get the red lines on the Mac.
Just saying is all.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-12 14:19:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My spelling and grammar have both gone down the fucking drain lately. I need to remember to check what I type before I hit the damn rate button. Horrid really.
It's not that I don't know how to spell, I'm just a piss poor typist. Too many broken fingers and complete lack of concern re: knowing how to properly type...
I just go and see what Word has to say about all the red and green squiggly lines and fix it all afterwards.
I demand red and green squiggly lines bartimus prime.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-12 14:10:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And these beauty pageant are fun. It's all about belittling people for their physical appearance.
That's fun isn't it?
Oh...
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-12 14:09:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-12 14:03:21 (#)
Ranking: 2
I know you believe me, dear. Beauty pageants make me ill. Lishy camwhores will likely not happen on uber, but if they do, they'll be on my terms. And by that, I mean my post, for hits.
You know?
---
We don't really do beauty pageants in the UK.
I'm sure you would give clever answers that would befuddle the judges and leave your competitors crying and broken in any competition though.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-12 14:09:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I DEMAND A PICTURE IN MY INBOX. MAKE IT HAPPEN.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-12 14:03:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I know you believe me, dear. Beauty pageants make me ill. Lishy camwhores will likely not happen on uber, but if they do, they'll be on my terms. And by that, I mean my post, for hits.
You know?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-12 13:59:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If you say it wasn't you, I believe you.
I'm sorry.
Please don't lash me.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-12 13:58:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-12 13:55:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
THAT WAS NOT SACRILICIOUS.
Propagate no such lies, dear.
It will be good for no one.
===
IT WILL BE GOOD.
For ME.
Are you going to join Methods beauty pageant? He does one every year. I'll go sign you up... I'll personally join the mens division with a 'special' picture.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-12 13:56:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
romeo is bleeding but not so as you'd notice
he's over on 18th street as usual
looking so hatd against the hood of his car
ans putting out a cigarette in his hand
and for all the pachucos at the pumps
at romeros paint and body
they all seein how far they can spit
well it was just another night
but now they're huddled in the brake lights of a 58 belair
and listenin how romeo killed a sherif with his knife
and they all jump when they hear the sirens
but romeo just laughs and says
all the racket in the world ain't never gonna
save that coppers ass
he'll never see another summertime for gunnin down my
brother
and leavin him like a dog beneath a car without his knife
and romeo says hey man gimme a cigatette
and they all reach for their pack
and frankie lights it for him and pats him on the back
and throws a bottle at a milk truck
and as it breaks he graps his nuts
and they all know they could ve just like romeo
if they only had the guts
but romeo is bleeding but nobody can tell
amd he sings along with the radio
with a bullet in his chest
and he combs back his fenders
and they all agree its clear
that everything is cool now that romeos here
but romeo is bleeding
and he winches now and then and he leans against
the car door and feels the blood in his shoes
and someones crying in the phone booth
at the 5 points by the store
romeo starts his engine
and wipes the blood of the door
and he brodys through the signal
with the radio full blast
leavin the boys there hikin up their chinos
and they all try to stand like romeo
beneath the moon cut like a sicle
and they're talkin now in spanish about their hero
but romeo is bleeding as he gives the man his ticket
and he climbs to the balcony at the movies
and he'll die without a wimper
like every heros dream
just an angel with a bullet
and cagney in the screen
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-12 13:55:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
THAT WAS NOT SACRILICIOUS.
Propagate no such lies, dear.
It will be good for no one.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-12 13:53:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"I remember as it were a meal ago"
Said Tommy the cat as he reeled back to clear whatever foreign matter
May have nestled it's way into his mighty throat. many a fat alley rat
Had met it's demise while staring point blank down the cavernous barrel
Of this awesome prowling machine. truly a wonder of nature this urban
Predator. tommy the cat had many a story to tell, but it was a rare
Occasion such as this that he did.
She came slidin' down the alleyway like butter drippin' off a hot
Biscuit. the aroma, the mean scent, was enough to arouse suspicion in
Even the oldest of tigers that hung around the hot spot in those
Days. the sight was beyond belief. many a head snapped for double,
Even triple, takes as this vivacious feline made her her way into the
Delta of the alleyway where the most virile of the young tabbys were
Known to hang out. they hung in droves. such a multitude of
Masculinity could only be found in one place... and that was
O'malley's alley. the air was thick with cat calls (no pun intended)
But not even a muscle in her neck did twitch as she sauntered up into
The heart of the alley. she knew what she wanted!
She was lookin'for that stud bull, She was looking for that he-cat. and that was me.
Tommy the cat is my name and I say unto thee:
Say baby do you wanna lay down with me?
Say baby do you wanna lay down by my side?
Say baby do you wanna lay down with me?
Say baby.
SAY BABY!
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-12 13:51:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes ma'am.
Your camwhore yesterday was HAWT. Did I tell you that yet?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-12 13:49:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I DID listen to that song, just like you told me.
So, I guess you enjoyed "Coffee and Cigarettes" as much as I did? For several reasons- Tom Waits/Iggy Pop being only one.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-12 13:43:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You little beeyotch. I simply suggested (I wish Uber supported italics so I could have italicized 'suggested') that you may wish to listen to the older recordings. I'M trying to help YOU here babe.
I AM a Tom Waits snob. Every album, every movie appearance, a bunch of limited release live recordings, and almost every album he's done collaborative or session work on, I own.
The song I told you about that he wrote for JC to perform? Have you listened to it yet?
I've only seen him live once, on the Mule Variations 'tour' when he played the Chicago Theater. He doesn't play out live anymore at all. So sad. Even for MuleVariations he only made a pretty limited number of appearances. At least I got to see ONE of them.
oh well, back to typing
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-12 13:22:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
scourge is a Tom Waits snob. Tell everyone.
Apparently, I don't go classic enough for him.
He shouldn't judge me.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-12 10:26:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
They Think It's All Over
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search
They think it's all over is a catch phrase popular in England. It derives from Kenneth Wolstenholme's famous commentary in the closing moments of the final of the 1966 World Cup - "And here comes Hurst he's got... <Wolsenholme's attention is diverted by some of the crowd spilling onto the pitch> ... some people are on the pitch they think it's all over. <Geoff Hurst scores to put England two goals ahead> IT IS NOW! It's 4". England beat West Germany 4-2 after extra time to become world champions.
The phrase, along with other calls from English football matches, appears in New Order's song "World in Motion". The British band The Dentists called their first album Some People are on the Pitch They Think It's All Over It Is Now in Wolstenholme's honour; the LP begins with a sample of Wolstenholme's original commentary.
--------------
Close red. I didn't know about the game show derived from the phrase. I was just thinking of the Cup final.
Saccy, I'm listening to that song RIGHT NOW.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-12 10:13:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Well you play that tarantella all the hounds will start to roar
The boys all go to hell and then the Cubans hit the floor
They drive along the pipeline, they tango 'til they're sore
They take apart their nightmares and they leave them by the door
Let me fall out of the window with confetti in my hair
Deal out jacks or better on a blanket by the stairs
I'll tell you all my secrets, but I lie about my past
And send me off to bed for evermore.."
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-12 09:35:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-11 23:20:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-11 20:28:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
"There's still time."
Heh. That's what Ohsoyu Fukme said when the flash happened
over Hiroshima.
--------------
"They think it's all over...it is now."
Name That Quote!
---
Nick Hancock. The unfunny cunt.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-12 09:11:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-11 23:02:45 (#)
Ranking: 0
Ah, it's the playing and not the victory that's important right Bubs?
Either way, regardless of the ratings and what happens, you wrote some amazing pieces. I'm really, really impressed.
They make me want to cuddle up to your wrinkles and stroke your white chest hair.
______________________________________________________________
Sorry to disappoint ya, Gasmo, but I have no wrinkles and have never had more
than eight chest hairs. Matter of fact, there may not be more than a dozen gray
hairs in the hippie locks on my head. I am well-preserved from beer and raeding
about all the drugs in the 60s...
Thanks for the compliment.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-04-12 00:02:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Now that I'm essentially out of the contest, I might actually have to say something funny to be worth anything.... I haven't done this since http://www.ubersite.com/m/84553 and even that wasn't but so funny. And yes I just linkwhored myself, deal.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-11 23:20:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-11 20:28:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
"There's still time."
Heh. That's what Ohsoyu Fukme said when the flash happened
over Hiroshima.
--------------
"They think it's all over...it is now."
Name That Quote!
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-11 23:02:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ah, it's the playing and not the victory that's important right Bubs?
Either way, regardless of the ratings and what happens, you wrote some amazing pieces. I'm really, really impressed.
They make me want to cuddle up to your wrinkles and stroke your white chest hair.
Last round (obviously) opened my eyes to the flaw in my "accepting the ratings as they are" policy, with regards to the blind spamming or intentional bias in reviews.
I should have discounted them from the beginning, and take full responsiblity for that.
I'm sorry to anyone who was affected by this. We'll change it around next year.
As far as rating the poster and not the post, there's little that anyone can do about that besides trust that the audience will respect the concept of the competition enough to judge the pieces fairly and without an agenda.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-11 21:58:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm gonna do a post about Circe slapping Gofer around while
Saccy kicks Gasmo in the dingy. Caul, Shlongy, and Spaggy can
all cheer. I'll probably get a higher rating than I did with
my stupid poem.. . .... . ... .. ... --- ...
... --- ...
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-11 21:43:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This whole match has turned into a pile of shit. Alters. No alters.
Popular. Not popular. Rate the post? Bullshit.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-11 21:27:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shlongy, ya haven't +2ed my Fupa entry,ya dipshit.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-11 20:53:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-04-11 20:51:15 (#)
Ranking: -2
What's wrong...are your Yahoo Messenger accounts all frozen?
__________________________________________________________
Nah, only my dick is frozen. Only way it gets hard at mt age. . .
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-04-11 20:51:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What's wrong...are your Yahoo Messenger accounts all frozen?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-11 20:45:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Gofer, as long as teh womenz battle nude on video, my ancient
ass will be happy...
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-04-11 20:32:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-11 20:28:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
"There's still time."
Heh. That's what Ohsoyu Fukme said when the flash happened
over Hiroshima.
-------------------
Insensitive? Who cares...
No biggy, Bubba. We can have a losers bracket... or just forget the whole thing and watch the festivities as the women battle it out.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-11 20:28:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"There's still time."
Heh. That's what Ohsoyu Fukme said when the flash happened
over Hiroshima.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-11 20:19:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-10 21:25:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
"You're still way up on the front page, gofer. There's time. It's true that the more people you "know", the more reviews you'll tend to get.."
====
Here's what I said. More, yes. Higher..well, sometimes. Sometimes you're also held to a higher standard. We'll see how it works out, there's still time.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-11 19:48:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not gonna take the time to look up your reply to someone else(gofer?),
but you told him the more well-known and popular people get more/higher
ratings.
That's life, that's what all the big-wigs say,
workin' hard in April, laid off in May,
but I know I'm gonna change their tune,
when I blow up the plant in June. . .
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-11 19:39:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't jump the gun, Bubba. There are at least a couple of ratings I'll likely see, and I don't suspect those users are going to be thrilled with my entry.
I meant it when I said you didn't have to rate me, man. Go rerate it if you need to, I won't take any offense. For real.
In my opinion, yours is the better entry.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-11 19:26:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm done. I'm toast. I'm dirt. I'm yesterday's mashed potatoes.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-11 19:03:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OMG I changzorzed my mind! Is it too late to swap my FUPA entry for this?
http://www.ubersite.com/m/86515
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-04-11 17:59:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
this blows... some random person blows through rating posts and I get accused of messing with things... blargh... I'm way too unimportant to have an alter, I tell you!
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-11 12:32:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"I'm a good girl, sir", she said to him
"I couldn't possibly permit you in"
Oh poor Mary Bellows
Slade tipped his hat and winked his eye
And turned away without goodbye
Oh poor Mary Bellows
She sat on her bed and thought of home
With the sea breeze whistling all alone
Oh poor Mary Bellows
In hope and loneliness she crossed the floor
And undid the latch on the front door
Oh poor Mary Bellows
They found her the next day cuffed to the bed
A rag in her mouth and a bullet in her head
Oh poor Mary Bellows
So mothers keep your girls at home
Don't let them journey all alone
Tell them this world is full of danger
And to shun the company of strangers
Oh poor Mary Bellows
Oh poor Mary Bellows
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-11 12:01:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sitting here wishing on a cement floor
Just wishing that I had just something you wore
I put it on when I go lonely
Will you take off your dress and send it to me?
I miss your kissin' and I miss your head
And a letter in your writing doesn't mean you're not dead
Run outside in the desert heat
Make your dress all wet and send it to me
I miss your soup and I miss your bread
And a letter in your writing doesn't mean you're not dead
So spill your breakfast and drip your wine
Just wear that dress when you're dying
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-11 10:15:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-11 09:33:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
The King apparently has better things to do. I'LL do it.
---
Hey, those sweatshop midgets weren't going to manage themselves...
Anyone want some t-shirts?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-11 10:12:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-11 09:25:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
When does voting close on this round?
---
Wednesday 4/12, 11:59PM Eastern.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-11 09:33:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The King apparently has better things to do. I'LL do it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sacrilicious - The Modern Madonna: http://www.ubersite.com/m/86462
Bubba2341 - Mother: http://www.ubersite.com/m/86431
goferferhire - Magnificent City - http://www.ubersite.com/m/86469
Circe - Kalgoorlie - http://www.ubersite.com/m/86476
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-11 09:25:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When does voting close on this round?
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2006-04-11 01:16:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ah ha!
behold me poetry, though unrelated technically.
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1144732467331920565
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-10 23:44:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I noticed you weren't around, CATAL.
Does this mean we CAN'T trust you?
Ahahha. That's so lame.
Really. Lamest joke ever.
Terrible.
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2006-04-10 23:39:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haven't been around lately, haven't had the time, and i know i said i would continue to participate in this, well, if no one noticed, i didn't.
looks like its still going strong, still pulling for Sac, good luck all.
will review and such if I find the time/energy.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-04-10 23:25:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/86476
Here I be
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-10 23:22:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Circeeeee-
Where you at?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-10 22:13:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That'd be a perfect compliment, gofer, because I smell awesome. For reals.
here is this old woman
she lives down the road
you can often find her
kneeling inside of her hole
and I often ask her
"are you looking for the mother lode?"
huh?
no!
no my child, this is not my desire
and then she said
I'm digging for fire
there is this old man
who spent so much of his life sleeping
that he is able to keep awake for the rest of his years
he resides
on a beach
in a town
where I am going to live
and I often ask him
"are you looking for the mother lode?"
huh?
no!
no my child, this is not my desire
and then he said
I'm digging for fire
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-04-10 21:38:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-10 21:25:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
You're still way up on the front page, gofer. There's time. It's true that the more people you "know", the more reviews you'll tend to get, but I'm glad you entered the comp and I'll be keeping an eye out for you now.
-----------------
Hehehe, thanks a lot. I'd return the compliment in form, but of course you already had a noteworthy reputation... I'll just say you smell nice or something
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-10 21:25:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're still way up on the front page, gofer. There's time. It's true that the more people you "know", the more reviews you'll tend to get, but I'm glad you entered the comp and I'll be keeping an eye out for you now.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-04-10 21:15:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Blargh... this whole being a non-entity on ubersite is making being a semi-finalist in FUPA seem sort of cheap... I'd feel better if more people actually had read my post or something. Somehow I feel like I cheated the system
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-10 20:32:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Close your eyes, give me your hand, darling
Do you feel my heart beating, do you understand?
Do you feel the same, am I only dreaming?
Is this burning an eternal flame?
I believe it's meant to be, darling
I watch when you are sleeping, you belong with me
Do you feel the same, am I only dreaming
Or is this burning an eternal flame?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-10 20:31:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Flame, makes your girlfriend hate to swallow,
Flame, makes your balls turn black and hollow,
Flame, makes a man think of Rover,
Flame, wanna roll you in teh clover,
Flame
Flame
Flame
Flame
Flame
Flame
Flame
Flame
Flame..............
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-10 20:06:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wherever you go
I'll be with youuu
Whatever you want I'll give it to youuuu
Whever you need someone
To lay your heart and head upon
Remember after the fire, after all the rain
I will be the flaaaaame
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-10 19:39:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Flame on.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-04-10 18:02:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/86330
Music is art, cities are nature in their own way. I'm on theme.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-10 15:26:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sacrilicious - The Modern Madonna: http://www.ubersite.com/m/86462
Bubba2341 - Mother: http://www.ubersite.com/m/86431
goferferhire -
Circe -
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-10 14:49:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Here's mine.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/86462
I'm really sorry.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-10 12:11:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd also like to state that I read the match report below and watched the game being reported on, and I cared about the game and the report very much.
Stupid Borough.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-10 11:35:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nah, Shlongman, all I need is a hoop and a stick and a pocket full of dreams.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-04-10 11:33:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You five doofuses really need MySpace accounts and AIM.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-10 11:29:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Great, now I want ham.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-10 11:12:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
West Ham: a goal and a man up over Chelsea after 16 minutes.
Full time...4:1...West Ham lost. Bunch of crying, capitulating sissies. I guess it's up to Blackburn and Bolton now.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-10 09:22:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AH! Can we try that again then? I will have to send you a lavicious email later.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-10 09:19:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I see dear.
And you weren't PWND, you were hit on.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-10 08:39:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait. Have I just been pwned by Licious? Just for that I will listen to music, all day long and do absolutely sod all work.
This is little different from a usual day, but I'm *officially* on holiday today. Do you see?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-10 08:26:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
mmm..leaning and eager and quick with the fingers..
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-10 08:22:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That will be fine. Just imagine me leaning on my desk, eagerly clicking refresh over and over and over.
hmmmm
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-10 08:13:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry, red- It likely won't be posted until much later today.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-10 08:10:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Where's your poem Licious? I'm having a day off, and would dearly love to read it.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-10 07:51:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-09 22:18:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
Phillies 2, Dodgers 0
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-09 22:17:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
And that's good for you, is it?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-09 22:12:42 (#)
Ranking: 0
Red Sox 4, Orioles 1
----
Right back at you Missy
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-10 07:45:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jake, darling-
No one cares.
And I mean that in the nicest way possible.
Love,
Valerie
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-10 05:13:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's Sho time once again in Smogland
Middlesbrough 1 Newcastle 2
Ten league visits to the Riverside now for the Magpies - and this latest success means that we've still only tasted defeat once in that particular hellhole.
And after favourable results elsewhere over the weekend, we rose to tenth position in the Premiership to keep hopes of UEFA Cup (or Intertoto) qualification alive.
Premiership victory number six on Smogside came courtesy of two first half goals, George Boateng heading Ameobi's return from Solano's corner into his own net on 29 minutes to open the scoring.
Our lead was then deservedly doubled as Shola Ameobi struck with a low shot on the verge of half-time, as Boro looked to be suffering a monumental hangover from their UEFA exploits in midweek.
The second half was all Newcastle, but we weren't able to find a killer third goal - Lee Bowyer's angled effort and Nobby Solano's deflected free-kick being the closest we came.
And it was the Peruvian's replacement by Dyer that resulted in us losing our shape and allowed Boro back into the game.
A belated response from Boateng at the right led to some late nerves, Steve McClaren's men forcing a series of free -kicks and corners as the home fans belatedly woke up from their slumbers in the sunshine.
However, any hopes of a second Riverside comeback in four days were stifled by some stout defending - Shay Given making one great diving stop and Robbie Elliott supplying some strong tackles as we sat too deep at times for comfort.
Ameobi and Bowyer continued where they had left off against Spurs with decent displays, but some sub-standard passing from Emre disrupted our forward momentum in the first half and his poor crossing after the break was also a source of frustration.
With Albert Luque and Michael Owen injured and Jean-Alain Boumsong not even in the squad, United were without over £32m worth of players and only eight of the sixteen Glenn Roeder named for duty cost us a transfer fee. Funny old game.
Afterwards Manager Roeder said:
"It was a tough game and there was lots of honest, controlled aggression from my players, which is what you want as a manager.
"When you have that you're going to give free-kicks away, but I have no complaints against the referee.
"He saw them as yellow cards, so let's be big boys and get on with it.
"One game at a time, but we are now revved up. We will let the league table look after itself, but we have kept our season alive.
I told them we had to come out of the blocks fast and in the last few minutes, we stood up and were counted and we haven't always done that this season.
"We have been criticised, but we can't be criticised for that. What Middlesbrough did to Basle they couldn't do to us."
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-10 05:11:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Baseball is America's attempt at irony. It's some cruel joke you're playing on the rest of us. How dull must a game be to encourage Americans to rather do statistics than watch it? Oooh he has a 0.338 average!
My team won 2:1 away at one of our local rival's stadiums. The bragging rights are ours! Do you know how many chances they had to win it?
DOESN'T MATTER - 3 points bitches!
ho ho ho
Dirty Smoggies
They're all kiddie fiddlers too.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-04-09 22:58:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So when do we get to see the naked dancing girls again?
*kisses*
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-09 22:18:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Phillies 2, Dodgers 0
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-09 22:17:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And that's good for you, is it?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-09 22:12:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Red Sox 4, Orioles 1
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-09 22:05:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Manchester United 2, Arsenal 0
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-09 19:19:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good luck all. I'm off to bed to not think about the poetry submission I don't have to write. I'm behind on other stuff though - I will make an effort this week.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-09 19:17:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-09 19:14:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll likely not be posting til tomorrow, Bubba. FYI.
___________________________________________
Take all the time you wish, dearie. It is now in the hands
of Fate. And Fate is a major asshole...
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-09 19:15:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BTW, Orgasmoxymamommadonetoldmetron, Sphagnum gave Saccy a +2
on 2 out of 3 of her last posts. I'M THE ONE who need the buttlicks here.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-09 19:14:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll likely not be posting til tomorrow, Bubba. FYI.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-09 18:54:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"And so the King is once again my guest. And why is this?
Was Vegas unimpressed?"
"We need him crucified, it's all you have to do.."
Welcome back to the real world, dude.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-09 18:49:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sweet tapdancing Krishna...
I leave you all alone for three days.
THREE DAYS.
And this is what I return to? Football back-and-forths and veiled hot talk?
I don't know what I thought I'd find here, but I wasn't expecting 'soccer' comments and death threats from rad.
Either way, thanks for shooting this on up to heated. I commend you all for doing so in absolutely ridiculous and convincing fashion.
Thanks for staying true in my absence, Lishy.
Just make sure you wash the man-seed off your hands before giving daddy his backrub.
Watch out for Sphag in round 4, ok??
Oh and you can officially stop whining now, Bubs. The O-teat is back for you to nuzzle and suckle on.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-09 18:25:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Gasmo, where the fuck you at? We heated this beyond belief, so
what the fuck? Using work as an excuse is bullshit. :-D
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-09 16:11:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Exquisite, Bubba. Really beautiful.
Sigh.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-09 15:48:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jump on it...
http://www.ubersite.com/m/86431
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-09 15:38:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
<thinks hard and listens to inner voice>
Yeah, go with the tittie twister.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-09 15:28:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Tis nothing my lady. Pray continue with your poetic musings.
If you had posted about Mr Garfunkel I would have commended thee on your fair wit.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-09 15:26:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
But oh my, red..that was really sweet of you to say.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-09 15:26:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dramatic readings and singing are my stock in trade, Red. I wish to
take nothing away from the beautiful Lady, but, if it came down
to public performance, I would give her a run. Or a tittie twister,
all else failing....
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-09 15:19:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm afraid not even a dramatic reading would save my entry as it stands. Which isn't saying much, because I've barely put a dent in it.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-09 15:15:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bubba, if you had heard the delectable Licious speak, you would concede now, like Sir Francis Drake throwing his cape in a dirty puddle so his Queen could walk unsullied.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-09 15:05:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-09 14:56:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
You wanna write it red? You're MORE THAN WELCOME.
I'm not sweating so much as throwing a small tantrum, but no one's here to indulge me.
Bubba- don't work too hard. You probably don't need to.
_________________________________________
She says, she says, trying to lull me into a false sense of security.
I'm onto yer shit, woman, and it won't work. Of course, my poem isn't
working too well either... :-/
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-09 14:56:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You wanna write it red? You're MORE THAN WELCOME.
I'm not sweating so much as throwing a small tantrum, but no one's here to indulge me.
Bubba- don't work too hard. You probably don't need to.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-09 14:38:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"My girlfriend's run off with my car,
And gone back to her ma and pa,
Telling tales of drunkenness and cruelty.
Now I'm sitting here,
Sipping at my ice cold beer,
Lazing on a sunny afternoon."
..........
Hang on Red, it's comin' just soon as I finish writing it.
Saccy still belives my rap about having it done in advance,
so I hope she is SWEATING!!! Heh.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-09 14:09:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You lot should post. I'm getting bored of waiting around.
Lazin' on this Sunday afternoon.
Sorry Ray.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-08 20:52:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I almost did an APW post about Art Garfunkel.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-08 20:49:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hair so fair. Oh contraire. You shit where?
Write sumpin about Art. Garfunkel.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-08 20:28:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I just woke up from a fucking CRAZY dream. My family was being judged for something frowned upon by some group of multicultural thugs, and I was hiding in the kitchen under strict orders, lest I get "fucking shot in the face". Then they made me meet all these people like they were my new family, and I had to watch movies that weren't movies I'd actually seen but in the dream I interpreted them to be well-known 80s horror movies. And the little kids all loved me. But the thugs made me shave my head. I stole some clippers so I could finish the job right, but no matter how many times I tried, I kept missing spots, and I was really concerned about it. So if dreams have anything to teach me, it's that even if I'm a hostage with a likelihood of death who is being indoctrinated into a scary and unfamiliar cult-like society, what will remain most important to me is my crippling vanity and "how's my hair?"
I wish the dream had been about art or nature. Oh wait..that gives me an idea, actually..
Oh wait..no, it doesn't.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-08 18:33:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"poems? What poems? We don't need to show you no stinking poems."
-Treasure of the Orgasmatron-
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-08 17:01:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hmmm....Tovarisch need new saying..
You trink wodka it make panties wet.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-08 16:53:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
DAMN YOU, BUBBA! I knew you were crafting the finest entry in all of FUPA history. If you take this round, which is very likely, I'll just be proud to have competed against you.
And teh vodka didn't make me sick. It made me..how do you say..amorous.
It also helped that the occasion was a 21st birthday celebration for my friend's VERY HOT piece of ass little brother. Good times, good times.
Ah yes..a poem. I keep forgetting.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-08 16:48:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You know vat happen when you trink wodka? It make you womit.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-08 16:42:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mine will post at the same time as the last two: About 16:30
Eastern time on Sunday.
What makes you think mine is done?
Would I write it in the first hour and then spend six days
revising and crafting it until it was ready to slap you on
your cute little butt? Would I do that? Fuckin-A I would...
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-08 16:23:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You first.
I wish I knew myself, Bubba. Though, I get the feeling yours is already written and you're just dying to post it. Am I right, or am I right?
I've been searching for inspiration, but that vodka and all those shots weren't going to drink themselves last night, you know?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-08 16:18:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So, Saccy, whatcha writin' about? Huh? Huh? Tell me...
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-08 16:11:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-08 16:09:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes. Or Oxygasmoron.
__________________
I like yours better. He can certainly fart out the poems...
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-08 16:09:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes. Or Oxygasmoron.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-08 15:58:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Orgasmoxytron?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-08 15:52:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hmmm..'oxymoron'..starts with 'O', ends with 'ron'..
coincidence, or something more?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-08 15:50:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Ethical asshole." Almost an oxymoron.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-08 15:41:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
O's back tomorrow. But as his uberspouse, I clearly claim first rights to any Cyrano-poetry.
Who am I kidding? I already tried to bribe him for my entry. Him and his stupid ethics.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-08 15:20:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When is Gasmo due back? I need him to send me a kick-ass poem. :-O
Oh wait... Then I would be DQed and sink to the depths of hell
with Shlongy...Hey! There'd be worse folks to hang with.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-08 02:20:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-07 19:24:45 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-07 12:35:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
^ Will work for inspiration
_________________________________________
Will kill for inspiration. I feel like hammered dog shit because my
rheumatoid arthritis is acting up. Fuck you with the 'old' jokes. it
happens to young and old alike, it's just that I'm a wuss.
I have no clue what to write...
============
Aww, Bubba..you know I went for the obvious joke. It's because I'm not creative.
And I'm with you, right now. Utterly inspirationless.
Don't tell anyone I said this, but I feel like we're in this together. I feel..so close to you right now. Can I get a hug?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-07 22:25:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AAARRGGGHHHHHH!!!!! Ever had a houseful of people who
WON'T SHUT THE FUCK UP?? Jebus H. Aloysius Mahoney
Rancid Christ on a jumped-up chariot wheel!!
I'm tryin' ta think here, people.....
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-07 21:19:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WHERE THE FUCK IS EVERYONE? HUH ???
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-07 19:24:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-07 12:35:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
^ Will work for inspiration
_________________________________________
Will kill for inspiration. I feel like hammered dog shit because my
rheumatoid arthritis is acting up. Fuck you with the 'old' jokes. it
happens to young and old alike, it's just that I'm a wuss.
I have no clue what to write...
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-07 13:49:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shlongy, Shlongy, Shlongy...don't say 'fuck you' to my god...that's not cool.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-04-07 13:46:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Oops...that's UK...
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-04-07 13:38:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
It won't...so you will.
The first two Nick Lowe LP's are his finest...Pure Pop For Now People (Titled "Jesus of Cool" in the IK) and Labour of Lust.
But it's all good.
BASHER is the name of a Nick Lowe collection and should give you everything you need.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-07 13:33:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks, Shlong. I'll give it a listen. It better not suck.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-07 13:28:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
JINGLE JANGLE JINGLE JANGLE JINGLE JANGLE
Do you love me?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-04-07 13:17:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck Nick Cave.
Listen to Nick Lowe (or Rockpile) instead...and you can thank me with a nice hummer later.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-07 13:17:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Here she comes, blocking the sun
Blood running down the inside of her legs
The moon in the sky is a-battered and mangled
And the bells in the chapel go jingle...jangle
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-07 13:15:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Well, I try, I do, I really try
But I just err, baby, I do, I error
So come find me, my darling one
I'm down to the grounds, the very dregs.."
O is turning me on. To Nick Cave.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-07 13:09:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry, I'm just not him. I'm just a drunk Aussie on a late Friday night, and what I know of poetry could be chiselled on the back of my favourite Nick Cave album.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-07 13:06:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes. I hate it when you're not here. Please come back to me.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-07 13:04:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Was that another "I'm O-Tron's alter" joke?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-07 12:58:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Stag- I haven't yet read anything of yours that I would ever say was not worth your persistence, and I'm fairly certain this would be no different. And it sounds like a fun plot.
So, how's Vegas? I miss you, darling.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-07 12:47:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Saccy, dear, I'm currently writing a short story about two travelling conmen who run a quack medicinal show in the 1930s. I'm having some difficulties with the flow. Do you think it's worth persisting?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-07 12:35:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
^ Will work for inspiration
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-07 09:09:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-04-07 08:01:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
Congratulations, Bubba. I hope you continue to kick major ass in this competition.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-07 08:38:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-04-07 08:01:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
Congratulations, Bubba. I hope you continue to kick major ass in this competition.
-----------------------------------------
Thanks, JMG.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-04-07 08:01:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Congratulations, Bubba. I hope you continue to kick major ass in this competition.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-07 05:10:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Poor old Stagger has had so many pricks in him (to inject the required liquids) that he is quite sore!
So i've heard.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-07 04:53:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-07 04:06:49 (#)
Ranking: 0
i heard that if you have seven american pennies and a good jaw bone, you can travel around the world, no problem. what do you have to say about that?
---
Australians aren't allowed into other countries unless they've been carefully screened and given vitamin injections to ensure they're healthy and wont pose a risk to the humans. It's a hygiene thing nothing more.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-07 04:06:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i heard that if you have seven american pennies and a good jaw bone, you can travel around the world, no problem. what do you have to say about that?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-07 03:40:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
40 American cents is approximately the GNP of Australia
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-07 03:14:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
well that's pretty much all i've got... that and this pillow, but fuck you if you think i'm giving that up...
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-07 03:13:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Forty AMERICAN cents?
No bet.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-07 03:03:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
forty cents says i can suck down three mcdonald's ketchup packets in under twenty seconds.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-07 00:10:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
O-Tron should've drawn from the Fedora of Mystical Whiskey Whimsy.
I have one, I could've lent it to him.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-06 22:31:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh the English lairds
are cruel and hard
They punish the needy by the yard
stick to inbreeding
and you'll go far
or you shall die by the sword.
__________________________________
Oh, teh British turds
Are soft and sloppy
They stink up the yard of the needy
They all fuck their mothers,
Sisters and brothers,
At the very best they are seedy.........
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-06 22:20:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 05:54:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck poetry. Let's just talk football on all of Orgasmo's posts. It will propogate the story that O is secretly an Englishman in exile, banished for reciting ribald poetry about the landed oligarchy in jolly old Blighty.
Oh the English lairds
are cruel and hard
They punish the needy by the yard
stick to inbreeding
and you'll go far
or you shall die by the sword.
Aren't you all glad I didn't enter the poetry competition? I would have got a sympathy +2 or two I suspect.
======================
How did I miss this brilliance? Red, you're IN next year. I demand it.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-06 22:08:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-04-06 22:07:06 (#)
Ranking: -2
You're ALL wankers.
___________________________________
You wanker, you broughter.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-04-06 22:07:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You're ALL wankers.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-06 22:03:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am indubitably tight. Like a bull's ass in fly time... Like a
nine year-old, like a....
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-06 21:58:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Unborn babies are the tastiest kind of babies.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 21:58:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
well i don't have any mirrors and i haven't paid the electric bill in like.. well forever or some equally long time, so i really couldn't tell you what i look like. and i think that's a big part of it... we can't all be tight like you, bubba...
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-06 21:56:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 21:47:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
*this just in* so what if i give up a little shake and taste when i meet people? at least i'm not going the distance with random trannies on 5th and holt three days a week just to score a few crack rocks... pot and kettle man, shit...
__________________________________________________________
Shake this, taste that, first thing you know you're swallowing unborn babies.
How do you live with yourself?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-06 21:48:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-06 21:43:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
666 Victory Avenue
FUPAville, USA
____________________________
Gimme a call. My number is OIC-U812.
Soon to be LOSER... :-D
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 21:47:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*this just in* so what if i give up a little shake and taste when i meet people? at least i'm not going the distance with random trannies on 5th and holt three days a week just to score a few crack rocks... pot and kettle man, shit...
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-06 21:43:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
666 Victory Avenue
FUPAville, USA
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-06 21:40:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This just in: Wardy sucks.....Anything.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 21:39:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*this just in* bubba sucks at jokes...
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-06 21:36:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BTW, Saccy, I took Viagra last night before I went to sleep.
I slept really hard.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-06 21:32:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wardy: Upper deck? Is that Baseball? Rugby? -2 sports..
Saccy: What's yer address?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-06 21:30:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm baring them as we speak, dear competitor.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 21:29:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i have a 1989 upper deck robin yount card... what'll that get me?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-06 21:27:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-06 21:07:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-06 19:48:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
OK, I'll make you a deal: I'll show you my old if show your boobies. Heh.
========
I respect you too much to exploit your old like that, sir.
________________________________________________________
I, being the arbiter of taste for the World and Ubersite, insist that you show
yer boobies. My old is gold, it's very bold, and, I'm told, should ne'er be sold....
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-06 21:25:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 21:17:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
i'm so awesome.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-06 21:25:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 21:23:57 (#)
Ranking: 0
how'd you know i wasn't wearing any pants?
_______________________________________________
'Cause yer face is hanging out.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 21:23:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
how'd you know i wasn't wearing any pants?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-06 21:19:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ya misspelled it, Ward. "ahsome." Ah is what we say when we see something
sad. Some is very non-specific... ;-P
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 21:17:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i'm so awesome.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-06 21:14:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Madam, I have been around long enough to know a cop-out when I hear
one. You'll have to do MUCH better than that old gem...
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-06 21:07:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-06 19:48:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
OK, I'll make you a deal: I'll show you my old if show your boobies. Heh.
========
I respect you too much to exploit your old like that, sir.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-06 19:48:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:14:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
Not until you played teh boobies, card, Bubs. You know I heart you. But I will still have to eat that heart, thems the rules.
Circe, I'm hormonal and emotional today. We could be like the PMS Wonder Twins and bring this whole comp down.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:12:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
Fine. Play the 'old' card. IMO KEEL YOU!!!
_________________________________________________________
OK, I'll make you a deal: I'll show you my old if show your boobies. Heh.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-06 17:24:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nah, not cooking recipes. Those are for little ghola. Pies and all and whatnot you see?
I'll post it next Thursday maybe, though it will drop my rating a good bit with the flaming it's sure to get.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 17:06:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Cooking recipes Scourge?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-06 17:06:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-06 17:05:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
HEY
I thought that we, O and I, SHARED you. That's what you always say. At least that's what you say when he's not around, and only on other peoples posts, and in emails and...
======
Aww, you do, darling. He told me while he was away, hand jobs were OK.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-06 17:05:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HEY
I thought that we, O and I, SHARED you. That's what you always say. At least that's what you say when he's not around, and only on other peoples posts, and in emails and...
Oh, he can lick my balls.
He's out on vacation with a real life woman. Who's here right now? Showing you the loving that you need?
ME.
That's who.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-06 17:00:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ohh, you two.. *smiles, shakes head*
I never thought I'd say this, but I'm glad Orgasmatron isn't here to call me out on anything right now. I'd be in SO much trouble.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-06 16:53:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have no worries about my Uber ex-wifey. We get along famously.
That's why she and I have a secret involving her voice and ample amounts of slippery oil, which brings us back full circle rather nicely while still keeping you out in the cold now doesn't it?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 16:48:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Lish is a gem, and she has class. Worry ye not Scourge. (except for your upcoming appearance in a german style porno)
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-06 16:46:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
what redskies said re: Shlongy.
I trust you Lish. I'm not sure why. But I do.
Besides if you ever tried to bust me out over anything I'd just throw blatantly absurd accusations back at you and all these morons would eat it up with a spoon.
Now it's getting all heavy like in here.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-04-06 16:39:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You should.
Roughly 47.8% of all Uber females have enjoyed what we like to call "a taste of Shlongy".
I can't help it. I'm Shlongy!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-06 16:39:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What affair?
(see?)
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 16:32:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*must try and be jealous of Shlongy - must not smirk - must not...*
Damn it, I'm sorry Shlongy. I can't take it seriously.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-04-06 16:30:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You didn't tell any of these morons about OUR fuck affair, did you?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-06 16:22:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-06 16:19:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-06 15:31:21 (#)
Ranking: 2
Lishy is privy to many secrets from both of you. I shall keep them safe.
===
This comment suddenly has me worried.
More even than the threat of getting pissed on by a crook toothed soccer hooligan Brit with an emo username.
If we piss her off enough it could be the mother of all Uber explosions. I know she has dirty secrets about at least four or five people here
===============
It's true, I do. But honestly, the secrets about ME that some people here know are probably more of a threat to my reputation than a lot of what I know about youse guys.
So, it actually benefits me to keep my fucking mouth shut.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-04-06 16:19:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 14:55:39 (#)
Ranking: 0
funny you should mention that. i closed my eyes for a minute about twenty minutes ago and the damn thing started humping me furiously. well of course i woke up (although i wish i hadn't because halle berry is sexy in a tube top), only to find that the damn bear was humping my knee, singing 'yankee doodle' and smoking a blunt. well needless to say this scared the shit out of me! i mean, if this fucker already knows where my stash is, does this mean he's gotten into my porn collection too? the fact that he's humping my knee is strong evidence that he has... fuck, the fact that it's a 'he' --- DAMMIT WHAT HAVE YOU PEOPLE SENT TO ME!?!?!?
-------
they only sent what you asked for.
better luck next time warrrddyyy...
P.S. The bear has strange night fetishes. Watch out.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-06 16:19:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-06 15:31:21 (#)
Ranking: 2
Lishy is privy to many secrets from both of you. I shall keep them safe.
===
This comment suddenly has me worried.
More even than the threat of getting pissed on by a crook toothed soccer hooligan Brit with an emo username.
If we piss her off enough it could be the mother of all Uber explosions. I know she has dirty secrets about at least four or five people here, huh
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 16:05:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I shall descend like a Mongol Horde.
Were they called the Golden Rain?
So yeah - golden shower for you Scorgy old pal.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-06 15:53:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I had a chum who was fascinated by those Conan the Barbarian books, he would constantly try to draw comparisons between what the author was saying and everyday society.
I thought the books were pretty cool, but that behavior was unbearable.
pre-scattered huh? Ok.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 15:32:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I guess that is fair.
I'm still sulky.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-06 15:31:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Lishy is privy to many secrets from both of you. I shall keep them safe.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 15:08:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You will fall. Like all the rest.
Conan the barbarian has a comment about the lamentation of the women, and to see your enemy scattered before you.
Consider yourself pre-scattered.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-06 15:05:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaa
Don't be sore chum!
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 15:04:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Scourge is my new enemy.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-06 15:00:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No explanation for you redskies. NO.
Don't tell him while I'm gone to lunch Lish. DO NOT DO IT.
It's our own secret and we're purposely excluding you.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 14:57:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-06 12:12:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
HA- You may transcribe the story into text..if you're considering a sound file, I'm afraid you might steal my near-future-uber-voice-debut-thunder, so we'll have to discuss that. Still a possibility, though. Story wise- it was clearly lacking because a)I am not creative, and b)I didn't want to get cut off by your voice mail. Feel free to make it..how do you say.."better". Go for it..it's yours now. Aaaaall for scourge.
----
Explain.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 14:55:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-04-06 13:07:48 (#)
Ranking: 0
i hate you and i hope your stuffed animal comes to life while you're sleeping and smothers you.
smothers you in a bout of rage!!!
rage, i say, RAGE.
--------
funny you should mention that. i closed my eyes for a minute about twenty minutes ago and the damn thing started humping me furiously. well of course i woke up (although i wish i hadn't because halle berry is sexy in a tube top), only to find that the damn bear was humping my knee, singing 'yankee doodle' and smoking a blunt. well needless to say this scared the shit out of me! i mean, if this fucker already knows where my stash is, does this mean he's gotten into my porn collection too? the fact that he's humping my knee is strong evidence that he has... fuck, the fact that it's a 'he' --- DAMMIT WHAT HAVE YOU PEOPLE SENT TO ME!?!?!?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-04-06 14:48:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
sac- Wait a sec...are you spying on me again? You saw me EAT it?
It was pretty tasty...I'll be honest with ya.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-06 14:17:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hits are a cheap and easy commodity babe.
Submit a picture of your bare torso and I guarantee you'll have 5000 hits on it by tomorrow.
Or just send it to me.
Or write about buttsecks. That got me 9000 easy hits.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-06 14:16:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Look! It's the kid who always hangs in the shadows picking his nose and eating it, wishing anyone noticed when he said something!
*kisses*
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-04-06 14:15:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Look! It's poetry chat room for geeks with the four usual suspects!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-06 14:06:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AHA- too late, scourge- my comment below proves who planted and nurtured that little seed!
I could totally use the hits, though.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-06 14:04:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I need a drink.
I have a post you can have Lish since my APW is never going to fall off of the front page. This new post is about a lemming named Pablo. I wrote it myself. It kicks untold amounts of ass. Truly.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-06 13:54:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I need inspiration.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-06 13:42:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My friends just went to bed because they're dirty pansies. I can't believe I'm still awake.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-06 13:41:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's 1:45pm on Thursday here, and I'm all hopped up on espresso.
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-06 13:39:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's right, it's 3:40 am friday and I'm drunk.
Aussies just exist this way, don't try and fight it.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-06 13:38:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*gives ghola a steaming hot, crusty pie*
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-04-06 13:07:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:49:08 (#)
Ranking: 0
sorry ghola, turns out i'm that much better than you. good luck with that whole starving thing, hope it works out for you...
---------
i hate you and i hope your stuffed animal comes to life while you're sleeping and smothers you.
smothers you in a bout of rage!!!
rage, i say, RAGE.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-06 12:12:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HA- You may transcribe the story into text..if you're considering a sound file, I'm afraid you might steal my near-future-uber-voice-debut-thunder, so we'll have to discuss that. Still a possibility, though. Story wise- it was clearly lacking because a)I am not creative, and b)I didn't want to get cut off by your voice mail. Feel free to make it..how do you say.."better". Go for it..it's yours now. Aaaaall for scourge.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-06 12:06:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was going to ask if I could transcribe it and use it as my next post. The bit about the slippery oil, in your voice.....yowza.
I mean, yikes, that was something else my little peach. I loved it.
So, can I, and should I, share it with Uber, or do you just want it to be between the two of us?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-06 11:57:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I much prefer my spirits chilled. But a flask will certainly do in a pinch.
Scourgey- I worked very hard on that short story, and you didn't even comment on it.
*weeeeeeeeeeeeps*
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-06 11:49:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Use the pint bottle Lish, you can usually get about three good thwacks before the bottle breaks.
I used to keep a few in my office for the late nights, now I just have mr. flask and his lovely Jameson innards to keep me company here. Easier to hide and requires no refrigeration.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-06 11:40:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I could use a Guinness right now. Also, the bottle, to hit someone in the head with.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 11:25:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.diageobrands.com/brand_pages/guinness.htm
Voila
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-06 11:24:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
All it had in it was pressurized nitrogen Circe. All you'll find by splitting it open is the inside of a plastic widget thing shaped like a rocket. That and you'll fund that your fingers hurt from trying so hard to bust it open.
And it still doesn't make it go down as well as a proper pulled Guinness.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-04-06 11:21:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nah, see, it's rocket shaped and loose, but i couldn't get it out? so i smashed open the bottle with a ahmeer and, by the way, movies LIE, it's amazingly hard to smash a beer bottle on a corner, the only thing harder is explaining to the dutchman why i need a tea towel, a hammer, and some privacy
But i got it out now and it's rocket shaped but REALLY hard to open.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 11:15:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Slice not your hand on the opened can. All widgets do is fizz it up so it pours more like a proper beer.
I need beer.
I want to buy Berty a drink.
I want TTOM to buy me a drink.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-04-06 11:11:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My cat's name is Sebastian.
These widget things are almost impossible to open, aren't they?
He knows when I got drunk after he went to bed. He wakes up in the morning and the study/library is full of Things That Lyn Took Apart.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:55:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:48:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes, red, I have.
That line made me smile for an hour.
---
Me too.
I was fond of it myself.
I also still cringe when Sarah Michelle Gellar says 'eat me Sebastian' in Cruel Intentions. It just sounds so crude.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:49:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sorry ghola, turns out i'm that much better than you. good luck with that whole starving thing, hope it works out for you...
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:48:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes, red, I have.
That line made me smile for an hour.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:47:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Circe has watched Inside Man.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:44:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:18:21 (#)
Ranking: 2
Licious, you magnificent cunt, I'm in.
=====
OK, this comment just made me tingle.
And ghola dear..I'm serious. e-mail me your address and leave your preferences, and by god I'll find a way to get you pie.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:35:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:33:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
how come wardy gets a stuffed animal and i still haven't gotten any pie?
huh?
huh???
---
No pie 'til you put the Triforce back!
Wardy has earned his stuffed animal anyway.
*cold stare*
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:33:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
how come wardy gets a stuffed animal and i still haven't gotten any pie?
huh?
huh???
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:21:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:18:21 (#)
Ranking: 2
Licious, you magnificent cunt, I'm in.
right as soon as I work out WHAT THE FUCK THIS WHITE PLASTIC THING IS DOING IN MY GUINNESS BOTTLE
Really, what is this? They're irritating me.
---
It's a widget. It makes it foamy and pulled-in-a-pub like.
Do women on Uber match cycle? We could have Hormonal Women Tuesdays or similar.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:19:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Before reading any reviews I'm back to sticking with my prediction from the end of round two:
Final round: Sacrilicious vs. Circe
I'd like to request at this time that, if my prediction is to come true, the theme for the final round be changed to a jello wrestling match between the two contestants. And I have dibs on front row center tickets.
That is all.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:18:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Licious, you magnificent cunt, I'm in.
right as soon as I work out WHAT THE FUCK THIS WHITE PLASTIC THING IS DOING IN MY GUINNESS BOTTLE
Really, what is this? They're irritating me.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:17:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
In response to a previous comment by Dave, I'm 9 hours ahead of you lot.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:14:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Not until you played teh boobies, card, Bubs. You know I heart you. But I will still have to eat that heart, thems the rules.
Circe, I'm hormonal and emotional today. We could be like the PMS Wonder Twins and bring this whole comp down.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:12:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fine. Play the 'old' card. IMO KEEL YOU!!!
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:11:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, blame me.
I don't mind. It's okay. I mean, it hurts and all, but I'm used to that.
I'll just be over here. Crying into my Guinness.
I had a hard day. It's probably a lot easier to blame me when I'm feeling emotional and guilty and tired, right? Yeah, I know.
No really. I'm just fine.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:08:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-06 06:45:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-06 02:10:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
BUBBA!!!!!!!
It's on.
________________________________________________
Although you possess both boobies and twat,
Out of you I shall kick thirteen kinds of snot. :-O
==========
Heh. Thirteen's my lucky number, old man. Have at me.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 09:54:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sac -- yeah, i'm just looking for bitches to blame
dave -- adderall, sir. it's 8:50 in the morning where i am, i've been up all night. sounds crazy, doesn't it. know what else sounds crazy? me dancing around in a yellow and blue tutu while my siberian husky barks out westside story's 'i feel pretty'... really, the possiblities are endless with me right now, so let's not get me off on any unecessary tangents, because well quite frankly, i have no idea where we'll end up...
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-06 09:48:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
O & I are uberwed. He is my protector. So, if you want at me, you'll have to get me before Sunday. But what did I do? Had you been my competitor, surely I would have whooped some midwestern ass. But you weren't, so blame Circe, not me, ya spaz.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-04-06 09:47:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 09:44:11 (#)
Ranking: 0
not if i have anything to say about it... you're a major reason i'm out of the competition in the first place. though i doubt i'd have orgasmo do my dirty work for me, i'll probably kill you myself and rape you or something.
oh, and the order of that really doesn't matter to me, i'm dead inside anyways...
-----------
Just curious wardy, what time is it where you are and do you ever sleep?
-Dave
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 09:44:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
not if i have anything to say about it... you're a major reason i'm out of the competition in the first place. though i doubt i'd have orgasmo do my dirty work for me, i'll probably kill you myself and rape you or something.
oh, and the order of that really doesn't matter to me, i'm dead inside anyways...
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-06 09:38:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks, Wardy! Less work for me. Now I won't get the switch when O returns.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 09:33:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i think i've put up at least fifty reviews on this post alone... fuck....
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-04-06 09:26:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have run out of beer. I will return.
-Dave
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-06 09:12:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HONK!
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 09:03:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Still though, I like watching defenders storming off the pitch after Big Al has delivered yet another match winning goal whining about his physical style and how he is a sly bastard. Makes my day.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-04-06 09:01:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Honk If You Love Escher"
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:57:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
seriously? fuck, and here i was thinking 'man that goalie is like swiss cheese between the pipes'... thanks for clearing that up for me *winks in a not gay way so as to show i knew all along what was going on and i'm just really, really bad at being sarcastic online*
*on a side not, the wink is ambiguous -- read into it how you want. if there is something you want, you know where to find me.*
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:53:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
rumor has it that shearer was tested for suck and it turns out he's got it. sorry guys, henry is the real deal, not your crap 'blue collar' hero. yeah, he's good with his elbows and head, but did you see that goalie? i've never in all my years seen a goalie get scored on that many times in a five minute span, but it amazes me that he has a job. i bet he didn't last long after that game...
---
Goalkeepers Alan Shearer has ruined:
All of them.
You know that clip was a compilation right? Even Almighty Al has never scored more than 5 in a match (poor old Sheffield Wednesday)
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:50:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
goddammit i'm fucking hilarious....
good to see your back up and kicking shlongy, i'm going to see how quickly i can make it to 30,000 reviews... i'm putting it sometime around next week, based on current data...
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:50:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:02:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
Dearest Licious.
Please pay homage to the one and true god, Alan Shearer
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-8471542976087861620&q=alan+shearer&pl=true
--------
rumor has it that shearer was tested for suck and it turns out he's got it. sorry guys, henry is the real deal, not your crap 'blue collar' hero. yeah, he's good with his elbows and head, but did you see that goalie? i've never in all my years seen a goalie get scored on that many times in a five minute span, but it amazes me that he has a job. i bet he didn't last long after that game...
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:49:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Stagger should watch that daily. It will do my alter good to learn humility. A bit of me thinks Man Utd will win the title. That bit is Stagger and it is crazy. But what if eh?
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:43:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:42:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
However, was it the 5 : 0 stuffing we gave them years back?
---------------
We have a winner.
-Dave
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:42:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
However, was it the 5 : 0 stuffing we gave them years back?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:41:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dave, the pc i am currently using is so old and crippled it makes His Royal Highness Berty IV 'So very old' Bertosson, the King of the Inside Folk look like a young go getter.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:39:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My favourite ever moment, which stagger is not gonna like.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5066514484643924025&q=newcastle&pl=true
-Dave
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:32:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't have sound on this pc. I remember the music being as shit as shitty shit shit however.
As for Alan. Yes, I would go gay for him. Greatest English Striker of our times.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:30:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:22:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:21:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah but who sings the song?
>>Which song?
-----------
The song which accompanies the Shearer Video that you linked. I know it, don't really like it, but can't remember who sings it and it is driving me crazy.
Also, I think I would go Gay (or should that be gayer?) for Shearer.
That is all.
-Dave
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:27:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
The Crusades finished quicker than this shitass contest will.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:26:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Licious, you would be wise to view one of the things that gets my blood pumping. How else can you understand the English unless you sample our culture? I can see St James' park out of my window.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:25:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:02:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
Dearest Licious.
Please pay homage to the one and true god, Alan Shearer
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-8471542976087861620&q=alan+shearer&pl=true
========
Dearest Red- (I always find that a little odd, because when I hear "red" it's usually in reference to me). Unless that video contains footage of my beloved Philadelphia Flyers, and we both know it doesn't, I have no need for it. And we both know that, don't we?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:22:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:21:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah but who sings the song?
>>Which song?
Stagger, what time is it in Oz? I am beginning to think you really are Red's alter, even though I know he doesn't have your talent (HeeHee).
>>He's not my alter. Really. Honestly. *WINK*
-Dave
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:18:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah, I love Shearer's filthy elbows.
>>Pervert
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:21:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah but who sings the song?
Stagger, what time is it in Oz? I am beginning to think you really are Red's alter, even though I know he doesn't have your talent (HeeHee).
-Dave
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:18:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah, I love Shearer's filthy elbows.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:18:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It does Dave.
A few shots of him elbowing Fabio Cannavaro in the face too. Happy days.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:16:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:02:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
Dearest Licious.
Please pay homage to the one and true god, Alan Shearer
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-8471542976087861620&q=alan+shearer&pl=true
--------------
Who sings that damn song?
Also, it is taking a while to buffer, I am running slow at the moment, but it better have the goal against Everton.
-Dave
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:02:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dearest Licious.
Please pay homage to the one and true god, Alan Shearer
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-8471542976087861620&q=alan+shearer&pl=true
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:00:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
don't worry about it stag man, all you need to know you know, and what you don't know you don't need to know, so really we're square like a can of peaches or something like that... anyways...
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-06 07:50:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wardy: I have no idea what you just said.
Sac: I'll pass over the fact that you just called the beautiful game 'bullshit'...once. Just once.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 07:36:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
don't get gay on us, stag friend. i've been camped out on uber for six hours now because here in america it was night, but in wardy it was six hundred miles an hour, so my only outlet of communication was this place or a chat room... i think we all know how i feel about chat rooms after the dateline incident, so i started up a great convo with red and other people... really, actually anyone that would listen...
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-06 07:34:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
69 reviews..tee hee
What's with all this football bullshit, boys?
Sigh..fine..I promised I'd get this thing heated while O's away anyway. God, I miss him already.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 07:30:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*... gets a job...*
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 07:30:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*crosses fingers and swears off taco bell for the next six months*
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 07:30:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
....
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-06 07:25:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're fucking on.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 07:25:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
if you guys make it out i'll eat my own shit and buy you a plane ticket to milwaukee to watch me do it...
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-06 07:21:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
We've got Brazil, Japan and Croatia.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 07:14:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
whose in australia's group?
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-06 06:53:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If we get out of our group, I hope nobody brings a camera, because I will get SO SO SO drunk that it'll be embarassing for everyone in the same fucking city.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-06 06:52:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And red: this'll be the first World Cup I'll be attending, or even in the same country as. 55 days til I fly out. I can't fucking wait.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 06:52:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
bubba -- that's funny because you're about to lose to a girl.
red -- yeah, but it isn't like we haven't played good teams and done well against them (lost 1-0 to germany in germany about three weeks ago.) as far as the culture of south korea goes, everybody had to deal with it, so that's a weak excuse. the thing of it was the guys that were in champions league (predominantly europeans) had just finished up and for the most part had lackluster cup performances. but still, what the fuck seaman? was he for real on the ronaldinho goal? c'mon... but i agree, the european teams should do very, very well this cup, which is why i think it'd be such an accomplishment just for the u.s. to make it out of group.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-06 06:50:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Be silent, crass yank.
We don't need pads everywhere and half an hour stoppages every two minutes for it to be football...
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-06 06:45:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-06 02:10:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
BUBBA!!!!!!!
It's on.
________________________________________________
Although you possess both boobies and twat,
Out of you I shall kick thirteen kinds of snot. :-O
Wardy, Red, Stag,,, what do you "furriners" refer to
as football? Soccer? Rugby? Those ain't football, those
are little games for little boys. Bwahahahahaha!!
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 06:42:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 06:34:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah, i definitely agree we're going to have a bear of a time getting out of group. although, they predicted that in '02 when we were up against south korea, portugal, and poland, so who knows. however, we aren't known for our solid play in europe, and couple that with what you just said about those oily italians, and i think just making it out of group would be a massive accomplishment. it really sucks that mexico got a higher seed than us, but whatever.
the thing that'll really suck is that if they're out in the first round, all the media conglomerates in the states will see it as a massive failure and all that...
the only thing i like about my country is the fact that i get to remind ets that i vote too...
---
2002 was a weird world cup. No one adapted to the climate well. Particularly the europeans. Hence why I think Germany 2006, with its similar food, language and climate to England will be a good tournement...
Mexico have the same thing you have. They play no one good all year round and say things like 'our team scored more goals than anyone else'
I swear England's next qualifying group better have The Faroe Islands, Angola, Belgium, Cyprus, Lichenstein an Lithuania in it.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 06:34:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah, i definitely agree we're going to have a bear of a time getting out of group. although, they predicted that in '02 when we were up against south korea, portugal, and poland, so who knows. however, we aren't known for our solid play in europe, and couple that with what you just said about those oily italians, and i think just making it out of group would be a massive accomplishment. it really sucks that mexico got a higher seed than us, but whatever.
the thing that'll really suck is that if they're out in the first round, all the media conglomerates in the states will see it as a massive failure and all that...
the only thing i like about my country is the fact that i get to remind ets that i vote too...
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 06:29:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 06:19:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
probably every one but the first three you listed, and even then, who knows. how easily you are to forget our 02 performance against portugal. what were they ranked? 3rd in the world?
and our group is far from easy. czech republic (4th in the world), italy (15th, and along with the check are practically playing home games compared to the u.s.), and ghana (54th? something around there, supposed to be pretty decent, up and coming nigeria like time or something). what's
england's group again? don't get me wrong, england and the other european teams definitely have the hardest road just to make it to the cup... i mean, holland wasn't even in the last cup and you look at their roster and wonder 'what the fuck happened there.' but you're right, five teams, and sometimes a shit team like uae will make it in just because of their region. holla...
---
I'll say this now. I very much doubt the US will progress from their world cup group. Italy will towel flick you to death, and the Czech republic are really rather good. Ghana are solid too. Plenty of talent there. I think you'll finish 3rd.
England have Sweden, Paraguay and Trinidad and Tobabo. I think we have the easiest qualifying group.
It was the road to the cup I was talking about - and Holland is very much the illustration of that. That's what is most often used to determine FIFA coefficients.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 06:19:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
probably every one but the first three you listed, and even then, who knows. how easily you are to forget our 02 performance against portugal. what were they ranked? 3rd in the world?
and our group is far from easy. czech republic (4th in the world), italy (15th, and along with the check are practically playing home games compared to the u.s.), and ghana (54th? something around there, supposed to be pretty decent, up and coming nigeria like time or something). what's
england's group again? don't get me wrong, england and the other european teams definitely have the hardest road just to make it to the cup... i mean, holland wasn't even in the last cup and you look at their roster and wonder 'what the fuck happened there.' but you're right, five teams, and sometimes a shit team like uae will make it in just because of their region. holla...
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 06:03:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Let's have a quick look at the matches you played to get that illustrious rating shall we?
http://fifaworldcup.yahoo.com/06/en/t/team/overview.html?team=usa
Beating Panama four times a year DOES NOT MAKE YOU GREAT! Bloody Fifa have a soft spot for the colonials anyway. That's why they give you such an easy group. They want you to qualify every year so that they can take your money.
Imagine if you were in the South American group and had to finish top 5 out of:
Brazil
Argentina
Uruguay
Peru
Paraguay
Chile
Bolivia
Ecuador
Columbia
Venezuala
Which 5 teams do you think you're better than?
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 05:56:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ranked fifth in the world right now...
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 05:55:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The US? As in the United States of America? The Yankees? At Football?
HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 05:54:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck poetry. Let's just talk football on all of Orgasmo's posts. It will propogate the story that O is secretly an Englishman in exile, banished for reciting ribald poetry about the landed oligarchy in jolly old Blighty.
Oh the English lairds
are cruel and hard
They punish the needy by the yard
stick to inbreeding
and you'll go far
or you shall die by the sword.
Aren't you all glad I didn't enter the poetry competition? I would have got a sympathy +2 or two I suspect.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 05:51:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahaha... but that'd mean that engl... hahahhaaha... england would have to win... hahahhahahahaha.... not likely, sir... if, and i use that term lightly, if anyone can beat brazil it'll be either the czech republic, the u.s., or maybe on a windy day your lads. but i really don't think anyone can touch brazil anymore, which makes me sad...
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 05:49:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Alan Shearer. Legend. Hero. Warrior.
Watch Rooney win us the World Cup this year though.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 05:47:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
agree to disagree?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 05:45:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Totally different kinds of player.
Rooney is more of a Gascoigne. Dropping deeper, roaming and looking for weaknesses. Shearer walked up to the biggest tallest defender and prepared for battle. Rooney doesn't play on the shoulder or with his back to goal like Al. He's brilliant, don't get me wrong. And Shearer aged 28 and Rooney together would be perhaps the greatest pairing ever. It's a shame they never played together.
02-03 Everton 6 Goals, 33 Games (-)
03-04 Everton 9 Goals, 34 Games (-)
04-05 Manchester United 11 Goals, 29 Games 3 Goals, 6 Games (Champions League)
05-06 Manchester United 13 Goals, 32 Games
His goal scoring rate is not even on a par with Big Al in a poor season. Sure he's young, but Alan Shearer scored a hat trick on his debut against Arsenal, while still playing for Southampton.
No one has more Premiership hat tricks than him.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 05:40:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
what about rooney?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 05:36:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 05:33:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
red -- i agree that he's one of the most prolific scorers of all time, no doubt. i'm sure that there are other forwards with better statistics than henry as well, but i'm one of the rare people that only looks at statistics when they benifit my cause. i just feel that over the last six or so years the epl has become the world's best league, whereas for most of the nineties i would argue italy's serie a held that title. therefore, i think henry's production during the current decade is extremely significant, but i'm not trying to diminish shearer's or any other striker's accomplishments by any means, i'm just letting you know my uneducated stance...
---
Last decade I reckon Big Al has scored more in the English prem. He certainly is the only striker in the Premiership to score 30 in 4 separate seasons. Something Henry has never accomplished. Big Al plays on with stitches, hernias popping everywhere, shattered legs, broken noses. He is bloodied but unbowed. Never afraid to put his head where it hurts, and give him a chance and he will hammer the ball into the net from any angle. He is the archetypical English Centre Forward, and we will not see his like again as the lighter weight continental styles begin to dominate.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 05:33:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
red -- i agree that he's one of the most prolific scorers of all time, no doubt. i'm sure that there are other forwards with better statistics than henry as well, but i'm one of the rare people that only looks at statistics when they benifit my cause. i just feel that over the last six or so years the epl has become the world's best league, whereas for most of the nineties i would argue italy's serie a held that title. therefore, i think henry's production during the current decade is extremely significant, but i'm not trying to diminish shearer's or any other striker's accomplishments by any means, i'm just letting you know my uneducated stance...
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-04-06 05:32:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
im serious about the circe thing
in the last two months she has posted 13 times.
8 of which are for stupid contests.
FUCK YOU
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 05:29:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/80916#1919474 <--- circe, you rock. losing to you was almost as good as losing my virginity, except it took longer. i wish you the best, hope you stomp the comp, and all that razzle dazzle jazz... good luck, and don't forget, i've seen your boobs.
SCORE!
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 05:27:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 05:24:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah, alan shearer was/is good, and i definitely feel like the media fucked him straight in the ass, but i still don't think he's as tight as henry...
---
You're an American. You'll get this.
Who has scored more goals? By miles?
Career Record (Premiership/Div1):
Alan Shearer 527 games 273 goals
Career Record (all comps):
Alan Shearer 692 games 365 goals
Career totals 351 181 Premiership/top division
479 239 all comps
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-04-06 05:25:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 03:19:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
now if everyone could please go through and +2 all the posts that ets has bombed in the last two weeks, that'd be great...
____________
Done, darlin'.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 05:24:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah, alan shearer was/is good, and i definitely feel like the media fucked him straight in the ass, but i still don't think he's as tight as henry...
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 05:17:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 05:12:14 (#)
Ranking: 2
stagger -- henry definitely deserves it. i'd put him as one of the best, if not the best strikers of all time. that's probably an overstatement, i know, but i find him to be the most fun to watch at that position.
>>>ALAN SHEARER. No one comes close. Goal scoring rate in the modern game has been awesome, despite having multiple leg operations and playing in a sometimes struggling side.
red -- i am probably going to be ridiculed as a *fan* of arsenal, but i didn't know they won all that in 98? i was referencing man u winning the treble around that time, but i was under the impression they were the first to do it or something. but then again, here i go again making myself look like a dumb american not knowing shit.
>>>They have won a few doubles. No champs league yet. They went out coz they drew too many games. They were frightening in 98. As with 2004 when they went unbeaten, they conceded so few it was scary.
you guys should consider yourselves lucky with the access to games that you have. do you have any idea what it takes me just to go to an mls game? a great deal of courage and damn close to a two hour drive into chicago, and don't get me fucking started on parking and all the other bullshit i have to go through. goddammit i hate my life...
>>>Find an English bar, go along and watch the football on Saturdays. Go watch Arsenal, if I were American I probably would too.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 05:16:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha... and indoor rocks.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-06 05:15:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok, one last reply...
Yeah, Henry is definitely a class apart from your average goal-poacher. Watching him play is fantastic. Shame he never turns it on for France.
I actually live in Sydney, not the UK (my dad's from Manchester, I'm a 4th generation Man U fan), so some weeks they don't show the United games and that pisses me RIGHT off, so I feel your pain on the game access thing. Besides, our A-League is freaking rubbish, though Sydney FC did win this year. ALRIGHT!
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-06 05:12:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I ain't reading all that red.
Anyway, I'm off to indoor soccer.
The team we're playing tonight was beaten 6-2 by the team that we beat last week 9-2.
We should win 21 to negative 4, or something. Should be good. Later.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 05:12:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
stagger -- henry definitely deserves it. i'd put him as one of the best, if not the best strikers of all time. that's probably an overstatement, i know, but i find him to be the most fun to watch at that position.
red -- i am probably going to be ridiculed as a *fan* of arsenal, but i didn't know they won all that in 98? i was referencing man u winning the treble around that time, but i was under the impression they were the first to do it or something. but then again, here i go again making myself look like a dumb american not knowing shit.
you guys should consider yourselves lucky with the access to games that you have. do you have any idea what it takes me just to go to an mls game? a great deal of courage and damn close to a two hour drive into chicago, and don't get me fucking started on parking and all the other bullshit i have to go through. goddammit i hate my life...
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 05:10:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
U20s
Gary Borrowdale
Crystal Palace
Gary Cahill
Aston Villa
Richard Chaplow
West Bromwich Albion
Martin Cranie
Southampton
Scott Flinders
Barnsley
Danny Graham
Middlesbrough
Ian Henderson
Norwich City
Phil Ifil
Millwall*
Dexter Blackstock
Southampton
Grant Leabitter
Rotherham United**
Neil Kilkenny
Birmingham City
Lee Croft
Manchester City
David Martin
MK Dons
James Morrison
Middlesbrough
Matthew Bates
Middlesbrough
David Raven
Liverpool
Ryan Smith
Arsenal
Will Hoskins
Rotherham United
---
Shit.
u21s
Goalkeepers
Lee Camp
Derby County
22.08.84
3
0
Scott Carson
Liverpool
03.09.85
18
0
Defenders
Curtis Davies
West Bromwich Albion
15.03.85
0
0
Anton Ferdinand
West Ham United
18.02.85
10
0
Justin Hoyte
Sunderland (loan)
20.11.84
7
0
Tom Huddlestone
Tottenham Hotspur
28.12.86
7
0
Glen Johnson
Chelsea
23.08.84
13
0
Liam Ridgewell
Aston Villa
21.07.84
7
0
Andrew Taylor
Middlesbrough
01.08.86
0
0
Peter Whittingham
Aston Villa
08.09.84
13
2
Midfielders
David Bentley
Blackburn Rovers
27.08.84
3
1
Stewart Downing *
Middlesbrough
22.07.84
8
0
Aaron Lennon **
Tottenham Hotspur
16.04.87
2
0
James Milner
Aston Villa (loan)
04.01.86
16
1
Nigel Reo-Coker
West Ham United
14.05.84
11
0
Wayne Routledge
Portsmouth (loan)
07.01.85
3
0
Tom Soares
Crystal Palace
10.07.86
3
0
John Welsh
Hull City
10.01.84
6
1
Forwards
Cameron Jerome
Cardiff City
14.08.86
2
0
Leroy Lita
Reading
28.12.84
1
1
Izale McLeod
MK Dons
15.10.84
0
0
Luke Moore
Aston Villa
13.02.86
1
0
David Nugent
Preston North End
02.05.85
2
0
Bit of quality in the u21s though
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-06 05:09:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I said the new look Arsenal. Yes, the '98 team pissed me off. I've just re-read what I was sposed to be replying to, and realised the confusion I created.
Don't give me that short memories crap, that morning in 1999 is so fresh in my mind it's like yesterday.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 05:08:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hey fuck that shit, i don't have to be modest, i'm not him. he's my little bro and i can brag about him all i want, watch: he was even on the fa website when the u-20 us national team beat your boys 1-0. the guy said it was one of the best games he'd ever seen a left back play, or something like that.
---
U20s? I thought England only had an U21s and an U19s?
Hmmm
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 05:06:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-06 05:04:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
Nah, I generally like the new look Arsenal's style. Emphasis on attack and all that.
What the hell was with the 4-5-1 formation you brought to the FA Cup final last year? Now THAT irritated me. Arsenal playing for a penalty shootout does NOT suit them.
I would love to see the Gooners with the Champs this year, for 2 reasons:
1) Only English team left
2) Henry fucking deserves it for being so freaking awesome.
---
Short memories Stagger
1998. Arsenal's back line conceded 18 goals. In all competitions. Including the FA cup they won, the Premiership (which they won), and the Champions league (where they conceded one meagre goal as a result of a Batigol thunderbolt).
It is only a recent thing that Arsenal have been anything but a dour grinding machine. One nil to the Arsenal. Or more commonly, Nil Nil at the Arsenal. Plus their stadium is too quiet. Highbury the Library.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 05:05:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah, the bro would love to go to europe, but it's a matter of getting the work permit/visa thing that's a real bitch for americans. since we don't have any grandparents from the old country, it makes things pretty tough. so while he's really good, it's going to take a bit of luck for him to get across the atlantic in the next couple of years, i think.
hey fuck that shit, i don't have to be modest, i'm not him. he's my little bro and i can brag about him all i want, watch: he was even on the fa website when the u-20 us national team beat your boys 1-0. the guy said it was one of the best games he'd ever seen a left back play, or something like that.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-06 05:04:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nah, I generally like the new look Arsenal's style. Emphasis on attack and all that.
What the hell was with the 4-5-1 formation you brought to the FA Cup final last year? Now THAT irritated me. Arsenal playing for a penalty shootout does NOT suit them.
I would love to see the Gooners with the Champs this year, for 2 reasons:
1) Only English team left
2) Henry fucking deserves it for being so freaking awesome.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 04:59:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 04:57:14 (#)
Ranking: 2
damn.... well.... uh... my brother plays in the mls, so there...
>>>You have my deepest sympathies.
oh and it must be rough being a newcastle fan if you're hanging onto that win that much -- not that i don't blame you. i think newcastle is going to be the next chelsea, or at least fsw report does last i saw it.
>>>We already have a filthy rich criminal running our club. And ours looks like Jabba the Hutt.
(don't worry, i'm sure you know more than me. sounds like you live on the island, i'm just a silly american that's only been following arsenal since... 2000? something like that... no, 1998, the year before man u won the treble.)
>>>My alter Stagger will probably refuse to accept you won the title in 98. You were too dour for his taste.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 04:58:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
stagger -- that'd be dope, and that's really what they need to do to solidify themselves... yeah, the win streak was tight, but nothing says "i'm way fucking better than all of you" than winning champions league... or fucking your friend's mom.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 04:57:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
damn.... well.... uh... my brother plays in the mls, so there...
oh and it must be rough being a newcastle fan if you're hanging onto that win that much -- not that i don't blame you. i think newcastle is going to be the next chelsea, or at least fsw report does last i saw it.
(don't worry, i'm sure you know more than me. sounds like you live on the island, i'm just a silly american that's only been following arsenal since... 2000? something like that... no, 1998, the year before man u won the treble.)
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-06 04:52:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If Arsenal wins the Champion's League this year, I'll have more respect for them.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 04:48:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Newcastle United 1 - 0 Arsenal
That was more like it lads! Having said that, it prompts the question, "Why can't you play like that against the poorer sides? Because if you did, we would certainly be sitting in the top six of the league".
Never mind. I am not complaining as I have just witnessed the best performance from a Newcastle United side for a while. Every one of the lads in black and white were COMMITTED to the cause and this was enough in the first half to stop the visitors from being in front after a good first half showing from them. The second half was a different story again as our lads stepped up a gear and bullied the opposition into submission.
For me, one of the best things about the display in this game was the central midfield pairing of Amdy Faye and Scott Parker. It has been ages since I have seen Newcastle dominate the midfield as much against any side, let alone the "fancy Dans" of Arsenal, but dominate they did, winning almost every loose ball that came out of the Arsenal defence. The much maligned (by this website as much as anywhere) Faye looked strong in the tackle and very powerful in the air and what can I say about Scott Parker? His performance today was immense and his attitude rubbed off on the other lads too. He should have come off after his brush with the keeper but he still kept on going until he looked like he had no energy left and had to be carried off eventually to a huge, deserved ovation from the crowd.
The defence looked reasonably capable throughout, despite an early chance which Shay saved well from Henry who looked quiet after that.
Solano gave his best display of the season and capped it off with a fine winner from a good pass by Big Al, while Shola looked a different player in the second half giving us glimpses of what he actually is capable of.
We needed a display from several players today and, possibly as I suggested in my forecast (which I happily got wrong) the opposition being Arsenal gave the players the urgency to raise their game, or maybe they wanted to respond to the fully deserved criticism that has been flying around from all directions. Whatever the reason, I thoroughly enjoyed the game, the performance and the result.
Man of the match.................Scott Parker
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 04:45:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
arsenal beats the nillies off both of you...
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-06 04:35:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I never said it was a derby. Jeez. It's just an awesome match.
I don't enjoy the true Manchester derbies anywhere near as much as the Liverpool games.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 04:26:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-06 04:18:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
Best match is Man Utd ripping open the Scousers.
Us vs the Gooners this weekend should be pretty good too.
The idea of grimy Mackems crying as they go down is beautiful.
---
Liverpool vs Man USA is not a derby. It's traditional rivals of about equal stature. Arsenal has only taken off as an opponent for you in the last ten years or so as you've competed with them more directly.
We always look to the derby games as the most important fixtures. That 3:2 win earlier in the season at St James, and the subsequent 8 further points that Sunderland have acquired by fluke and jam have been the only bright light in this season, other than the sacking of Souness. To do the double over the mackems will put me in a good mood prior to our world cup triumph.
Very few things are funnier than a crying Mackem.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-06 04:18:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Best match is Man Utd ripping open the Scousers.
Us vs the Gooners this weekend should be pretty good too.
The idea of grimy Mackems crying as they go down is beautiful.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 03:31:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-06 02:40:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, but Tyne-Wear barely counts. As if you're not going to thrash the Mackems.
I was pretty happy when you beat Spurs, actually.
---
Best. Derby. In. Britain.
No question.
I'm hoping for a 3:0 demolition of the Mackems and shot after shot of Mackems with tears running down their grime encrusted faces. Hosts of Geordies drinking Brown Ale and giving the monkey heids the finger.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 03:19:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
now if everyone could please go through and +2 all the posts that ets has bombed in the last two weeks, that'd be great...
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 03:19:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
FUCKING AWESOME!!!!
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-06 03:11:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*gives Wardy giant stuffed bear*
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-04-06 03:00:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
if you are in sin city and I see you, I'll kill you.
IM ETS BITCHES
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 02:57:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
so i don't want to be an asshole or anything, but i've been standing here for like two hours now... and well see i was promised a consolation prize and i haven't been given one yet... i mean, i haven't even been asked to like give a speach or something, you know? and well, see i just thought that was part of the contest. was i misinfomed? i just want my prize and then i'll go...
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-06 02:40:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, but Tyne-Wear barely counts. As if you're not going to thrash the Mackems.
I was pretty happy when you beat Spurs, actually.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 02:37:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm gonna go to work, and THEN point out that we won last week.
All that matters is the Tyne-Wear derby.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-06 02:30:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Maybe she can grant you the power of winning football matches.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 02:28:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-06 01:37:28 (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, and Stag...an exhibition round sounds good.
I just tried to drop you a line but my mail account's acting a damn fool.
I'll be back on Sunday - can you wait until then to work out details?
Sorry for being an absentee alter master.
I'm a bad daddy.
No wonder redskies has claimed you as his own.
---
He's my bitch.
And congratulations all involved, in particular Licious. Defeating the Big O grants you several new superpowers. Including the power of flight!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-06 02:10:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BUBBA!!!!!!!
It's on.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-06 01:38:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, other daddy takes me to the football. You just wanna talk about baseball. You've lost touch with your alter-son.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-06 01:37:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, and Stag...an exhibition round sounds good.
I just tried to drop you a line but my mail account's acting a damn fool.
I'll be back on Sunday - can you wait until then to work out details?
Sorry for being an absentee alter master.
I'm a bad daddy.
No wonder redskies has claimed you as his own.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-06 01:33:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fine, don't answer me, I don't care.
Bitch.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-06 01:32:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Enjoy the rest of the week, my dears.
I'm going to attempt to get a little sleep before starting my day in, oh, two and a half hours.
I'll give your regards to Sin City.
SHAMONE!
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-04-06 01:30:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I hate this because this is the only thing circe ever writes for anymore.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-06 01:28:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Last round was freaking awesome, agreed.
Wanna join me in writing an exhibition piece for this round, O-Tron?
Also, any follow-up on the idea I proposed to you via email about a week ago?
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 01:28:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i didn't see shit, asshole. but now when i close my eyes i see a bunch of yellow and two big nipples... fuck...
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-04-06 01:27:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oooh, my head! I'm done - I've squinted for TOO long, and still don't see it!
You're lucky it's still Wednesday here in Cali
APW!!!
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-06 01:27:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Holy huge fucking picture, Batman.
It didn't look that large when I opened it up to preview it.
All apologies...