Rejected by the Uber-Sluts (2634 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 0.51 on 104 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Grimm <grimmjuice.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2006-04-06 07:31:46 EDT
Damnit!
For Pete's Sake!
I'm just a normal guy.
Maybe a little effeminate.
Maybe a little potty-mouthed.
But I have feelings.
Real Feelings.
And like all Men, if I talk to women online, my first thought is how soon I might fuck them.
It doesn't make me a bad person.
It just IS.
It's exacerbated if they post their picture online, and I don't go blind looking at it.
And so it was with the Uber-Sluts.
First, there was TigerLilly - the first Uber-Slut who was nice to me, and sent me email. We talked, we laughed. I felt like I got to know her in a tiny little eeny weeny way. Then, I started asking a bunch of Uber-related questions and she got tired of me. Haven't heard from her in months.
Then, there was Hilarity_Ensues, who was just as hot as Tiger, but she had both legs and a badge (which was both good and bad). We talked, we flirted. We shared real moments. She wanted to get together and hang, but I wouldn't unless she sent me a picture of her pierced nipples. We argued back and forth. I mean, c'mon, they're just nipples!! I'm not asking for a taste! She refused and I got angrier and angrier. Haven't heard from her in weeks...
Then, there was Professional_Peon, who laced all my posts with sneaky little half-flirt reviews. I sent her email, and she replied without a single offer for a BJ. I mailed her a pair of my socks, but haven't heard anything back. She just stands there in the shadows, making my nether regions twinge with each titillating review.
By all accounts, these are the three hottest Uber-Sluts, and they want nothing to do with me.
*sobs*
It would be fine if they'd just reject me before getting to know me. But, they read my posts. They talk to me. They get to know me.
THEN they reject me.
I can't take it.
It's too much.
*sobs more*
I guess I'll have to move onto the Uber-Pricks for my socialization requirement. Too bad they don't have tits.
Except for Bart.
I can start with Schlongy, who everyone seems to hate.
Maybe I'd like him.
But maybe he'd hate me.
Then there's someone named Method, who I don't know but might be cool.
But he'd remind me of TigerLilly, they seem close.
And he seems preoccupied with his Guinea Pig.
There's someone named Caul, or Crawl, or Crawlin, or some pansy shit like that.
But I don't think he'll be my friend if I made fun of his name.
Maybe I'll just talk to the noobs!
*pauses*
But that would suck.
Goat Dick.
Hard.
I guess I'll just have to wait and see if the Uber-Sluts will take a liking to me again.
*sighs*
Image search for "Lonely":
User Reviews
Submitted by Whiplash (user info) at 2006-04-08 13:45:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
haa
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-04-07 14:07:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You can have a picture if you like Grimm, little black hairs and all
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2006-04-07 09:22:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Pussy!
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-04-07 08:54:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It probably would pay off for you to get on Shlongy's "good side" but unfortunately, that club is filled to the max at this time.
With three people. That's all I can tolerate.
-------------------------
AHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA FYI Folks - 2 of those so called "people" are actually my breasts.
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2006-04-07 08:40:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-04-07 08:26:21 (#)
Ranking: 2
Because it's cheaper to get Grimm to put out.
________
Very true - A couple jelly beans and I do what I'm asked.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-04-07 08:26:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-04-06 19:48:03 (#)
Ranking: 1
How the hell does a 22000+ user get on friendly terms with uberers when i've been here for a year and a half and noone gives me the steam of their piss?
------------------
Because it's cheaper to get Grimm to put out.
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2006-04-07 07:21:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-04-06 19:48:03 (#)
Ranking: 1
How the hell does a 22000+ user get on friendly terms with uberers when i've been here for a year and a half and noone gives me the steam of their piss?
That said i'm not actually bothered.
On an unrelated note Grimm i'll send you a picture of my peirced nipple... (hang on maybe this is why i'm alone)
___________________________
I blame it on the Dude.
Can't wait for the pic.
Can't beleive this shit got a positive rating and heat.
I blame that on the Dude too.
Global warming?
All the Dude.
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-04-07 06:27:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Oh it's like that is it Shlongy?
<slobbers>
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-04-06 22:14:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
WTF? I'm not reading ANY of that.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-04-06 20:42:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-04-06 19:48:03 (#)
Ranking: 1
How the hell does a 22000+ user get on friendly terms with uberers when i've been here for a year and a half and noone gives me the steam of their piss?
That said i'm not actually bothered.
On an unrelated note Grimm i'll send you a picture of my peirced nipple... (hang on maybe this is why i'm alone)
It probably would pay off for you to get on Shlongy's "good side" but unfortunately, that club is filled to the max at this time.
With three people. That's all I can tolerate.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2006-04-06 20:37:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
man up.
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-04-06 19:48:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
How the hell does a 22000+ user get on friendly terms with uberers when i've been here for a year and a half and noone gives me the steam of their piss?
That said i'm not actually bothered.
On an unrelated note Grimm i'll send you a picture of my peirced nipple... (hang on maybe this is why i'm alone)
Submitted by EntityErased (user info) at 2006-04-06 18:02:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
There are people from MD that use Uber?
Wow. Would have never known.
Someone from MD come see me, I'm bored.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-04-06 17:23:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
clowns ARE evil
now imagine how evil Cybernetic Zombie Clown Babies with rotating drill-cocks that spurt maggots, bloood and infected jizz are.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-04-06 16:54:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
CLOWNS ARE EVIL!!!
YOU TWISTED BASTARD!!!
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-04-06 16:43:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll be your friend G...but then I have spent nearly 11 months by myself and am desperate for human contact.
Also, Ive created a hoarde of Cybernetic Zombie Clown Babies with rotating drill-cocks that spurt maggots, bloood and infected jizz, and Im dying to test them out on someone...dammit, dammit, DAMMIT! Gt them in the house first THEN ttell them about their impending horrible murder
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-04-06 16:36:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You poor thing you.
They pee'd on Dude's fucking rug. That sucks because this isn't 'Nam, there are rules.
So mark it zero.
So what is it exactly that has you so verklempt? Is it the fact that sluts rejected you, or the so-called sluts from Uber rejected you.
I mean, do you really care where the slut originated from?
Geeze man, talk about being a picky-pick!
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-04-06 16:11:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Slim eats hay??... Pass it on
Submitted by mles76 (user info) at 2006-04-06 16:11:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
What does this post have to do with the Dude?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-04-06 15:52:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
psst..the guy upstairs told me Grimm is GHEY, pass it on...
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2006-04-06 15:49:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Peon, I could never forget you...
We may have exhanged some comments on reviews, but we've never talked over e-mail or anything. Why is that? If we did, I'd be bragging about it constantly.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-04-06 15:26:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I know I've talked to you because I still get your name wrong.
My brain sees MyOneTee.
I need a nap
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-04-06 15:24:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've talked to you before M1T.
You were just drunk and don't remember.
Either that or I'm just very forgetable.....
*sigh*
Yep. That would most likely be it
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2006-04-06 15:21:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Well, I've never really talked to Peon or Tiger, but Hilarity hasn't e-mailed you? Well that doesn't sound like her at all...Oh, wait...yes it does. My bad.
Submitted by the_thorne (user info) at 2006-04-06 15:09:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You normally rant so well, What happend?
Submitted by ScottPeterson (user info) at 2006-04-06 14:42:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-04-06 07:56:25 (#)
Ranking: -1
I go to myspace for friends.
-----------
i go to the iron pit and do my best yard-walk
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2006-04-06 13:18:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Cunning linguist? What does a clever mastery of vocabulary have to do with.....
Oh, I get it. That play on words that was so popular back in 1990 still holds a dear spot in some retards' brains.
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2006-04-06 13:03:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2006-04-06 12:48:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2006-04-06 12:41:11 (#)
Ranking: -2
What a fucking idiot I am. I just figured out what SPT means. Jeez. And to think I didn't even have that in mind when I posted this crap.
------------
No Grimm, you didn't figure it out, you read it on my post. You can thank me later when I make my rounds over your way in my travels.
_________________________
Well, since you put it that way, I will brush up on my cunning linguist skills. It's been a while :-)
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2006-04-06 12:48:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2006-04-06 12:41:11 (#)
Ranking: -2
What a fucking idiot I am. I just figured out what SPT means. Jeez. And to think I didn't even have that in mind when I posted this crap.
------------
No Grimm, you didn't figure it out, you read it on my post. You can thank me later when I make my rounds over your way in my travels.
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2006-04-06 12:41:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What a fucking idiot I am. I just figured out what SPT means. Jeez. And to think I didn't even have that in mind when I posted this crap.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-04-06 11:52:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
if ya really mean that gimme an address and i'll wing it out to ya courtesy of the company mail machine.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-04-06 11:41:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Anything you wanna send me is fine as long as it's not Anthrax or poop.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-04-06 11:36:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-04-06 11:26:39 (#)
Ranking: 1
It might be too late for THAT, Peon...
-------------------
*sobs emo tears*
*sobs emo tears*
*sobs emo tears*
*sobs emo tears*
*sobs emo tears*
*sobs emo tears*
*sobs emo tears*
*sobs emo tears*
*sobs emo tears*
*sobs emo tears*
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-04-06 11:26:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
no shlongy you're getting the vibrating pussy i have lying around. i'll even send you some office labels in the package so you can rename it whenever you get bored with the first uberslut fantasy you use to get off with it.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-04-06 11:26:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
It might be too late for THAT, Peon...
But I never kiss and tell.
I will FUCK and tell but that's a different story.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-04-06 11:23:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's ok. This post was a joke. You know, funny haha?
Nobody seems to get it...except Peon, but then again she seems to "get" most things. Probably cuz of the Tits.
----------------
Nah, it's cause the blond dye hasn't permanently affected my brain yet.
And Shlongy I told you if you cheat on me with anyone other then your wife I will keeeeeel uuuuuuuu
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-04-06 11:23:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-04-06 11:13:53 (#)
Ranking: 0
----------
now that REALLY screws up my stalking plans. you can't lust after mother theresa, it's just not right.
-----------
it's ok i'm way hotter than mother teresa, i have a nicer butt, enjoy sin and am alive to boot!
however, i will probably go to hell.
Oh, well. you win some you lose some, right?
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-04-06 11:22:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
tell hilarity she's pretty and she'll do it shlongy!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-04-06 11:20:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
So, now I'm lost.
Remind me which UberSlut is gonna fuck me again? Thanks.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-04-06 11:13:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-04-06 11:04:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:47:46 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:43:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
I enjoyed this, however, we are never going to hook up.
Because I am really Badassmofo and I have a large penis and a wife and a menacing tattoo.
That is all.
__________________
I don't recall mentioning you as one of the Uber-Sluts. No offense.
-------
Duh. I'm an Uber-Woman of Impeccable Morals.
----------
now that REALLY screws up my stalking plans. you can't lust after mother theresa, it's just not right.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-04-06 11:11:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ALL YOUR UBER SLUTS ARE BELONG TO ME.
that is all.
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2006-04-06 11:08:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-04-06 11:04:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:47:46 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:43:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
I enjoyed this, however, we are never going to hook up.
Because I am really Badassmofo and I have a large penis and a wife and a menacing tattoo.
That is all.
__________________
I don't recall mentioning you as one of the Uber-Sluts. No offense.
-------
Duh. I'm an Uber-Woman of Impeccable Morals.
_______________________
Oh, I see. I won't make you swallow then when we meet up.
Jeez - that was bad. I apologize. i think i'm in a mood like Tiger today.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-04-06 11:04:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:47:46 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:43:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
I enjoyed this, however, we are never going to hook up.
Because I am really Badassmofo and I have a large penis and a wife and a menacing tattoo.
That is all.
__________________
I don't recall mentioning you as one of the Uber-Sluts. No offense.
-------
Duh. I'm an Uber-Woman of Impeccable Morals.
Submitted by TheCrystalShip (user info) at 2006-04-06 11:02:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Not for the submission, more for the replies...
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-04-06 11:00:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No need to explain. I get it so it's all good up in the hizzy.
I'm in a crazzzzy mood today.
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:58:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:57:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
First, there was TigerLilly - the first Uber-Slut who was nice to me, and sent me email. We talked, we laughed. I felt like I got to know her in a tiny little eeny weeny way. Then, I started asking a bunch of Uber-related questions and she got tired of me. Haven't heard from her in months.
Yo yo...sorry. I just haven't been around much. I'm sorry.
____________________
That's ok. This post was a joke. You know, funny haha?
Nobody seems to get it...except Peon, but then again she seems to "get" most things. Probably cuz of the Tits.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:57:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
First, there was TigerLilly - the first Uber-Slut who was nice to me, and sent me email. We talked, we laughed. I felt like I got to know her in a tiny little eeny weeny way. Then, I started asking a bunch of Uber-related questions and she got tired of me. Haven't heard from her in months.
Yo yo...sorry. I just haven't been around much. I'm sorry.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:55:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:43:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
I enjoyed this, however, we are never going to hook up.
Because I am really Badassmofo and I have a large penis and a wife and a menacing tattoo.
That is all.
---------
well there go my stalking plans.
Submitted by gank (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:48:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Grimm, I know there's more than 3 uber-sluts around here.
Apparently, they are not above the bickering on this post.
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:47:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:43:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
I enjoyed this, however, we are never going to hook up.
Because I am really Badassmofo and I have a large penis and a wife and a menacing tattoo.
That is all.
__________________
I don't recall mentioning you as one of the Uber-Sluts. No offense.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:45:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Intarweb bickering makes me hot.
Let 'em keep at it.
Maybe they will tear each others clothes off.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:44:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:43:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
I enjoyed this, however, we are never going to hook up.
Because I am really Badassmofo and I have a large penis and a wife and a menacing tattoo.
That is all.
---
You have hairy limbs too.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:43:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I enjoyed this, however, we are never going to hook up.
Because I am really Badassmofo and I have a large penis and a wife and a menacing tattoo.
That is all.
Submitted by evesapple (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:39:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
:(
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:38:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I just love how people fight on this site over the most trivial of bullshit.
This is a site about posting stuff. Funny stuff, pics, political crap, rants, etc.
Then you rate the posts.
Not the authors or the people on the site.
Both of you knock this shit off, it's beneath you both.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:30:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
know its a harsh reality to face but if a girl goes around talking to all the boys, you know what people are gonna call her?" awesome? shit... that was rhetorical, huh... fuck..
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:24:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:10:29 (#)
Ranking: 2
You know Retro, I really don't need your validation of my life choices and it's not going to interupt my sleep at night because you question my sanity. I know I'm not a skank, my friends/family know I'm not a skank, and my boyfriend knows I'm not a skank, so you're opinion really holds no weight with me.
I've only ever met 3 people from Uber, and that was in Chicago, so no, I'm not here just to meet people. I'm here for the same reason as everyone else, including you, to be entertained. It's just a bonus that I've gotten to talk to some mad cool people and meet a few of them. The people I gotten to talk to are awesome and the people I have met are some of the coolest folks I've ever partied with, so I don't regret it at all and would do it again in a heartbeat.
Oh, and you say you're not beating me up, but you call me a cyber-barhag and a skank? You know what man, fuck you. You run around this site, acting as if you're God's gift to men and screaming for attention like a 5 year old, and you have the nerve to pass judgement on me? Why don't you point that self-righteous finger in your own direction.
---
really? friends, family and boyfriend know how willingly you go meet strangers you've spoken to on the internet? you should show your "boyfriend" (read: whatever guy is around at last call) the emails you sent me. or the IM convos after we emailed i still thought you were an alter because i thought there was no way a girl in her right mind would be so forward with a stranger. asking me to stop by MD on my way to florida! you are fuckin nuts!
i know its a harsh reality to face but if a girl goes around talking to all the boys, you know what people are gonna call her? a slut. no matter what her intentions of "broadening her horizons."
yes i have the nerve to judge you, thats what people do, all day long, judge judge judge. you snap at me for judging you and then judge me in the next sentance.
deal with it. watch me, i dont get mad at you calling me self-rightous because i act that way. people call ducks ducks because they are ducks.
anyways, you are mildly atractive, are you going to drive all the way up to Boston to broaden your horizons now!?!?!?!?
Submitted by MichelleNJ (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:20:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Haha- Hilarity called Retro God's gift to men.
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:19:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Hentrina (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:17:31 (#)
Ranking: 0
Bring back the saga of The Dude! You are far more entertaining when posting as the witty, intelligent flatmate, with the upper hand as far as social skills go... besides - who needs uber-sluts? Whatever happened to "Danielle"???
_____________________
The next installment in the Dude saga will be posted once something actually happens. Last night was quiet, thank god.
Submitted by Hentrina (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:17:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Bring back the saga of The Dude! You are far more entertaining when posting as the witty, intelligent flatmate, with the upper hand as far as social skills go... besides - who needs uber-sluts? Whatever happened to "Danielle"???
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:17:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:10:29 (#)
Ranking: 2
my boyfriend knows I'm not a skank,
__________________
I thought you were single!!! *sobs lots more*
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:10:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You know Retro, I really don't need your validation of my life choices and it's not going to interupt my sleep at night because you question my sanity. I know I'm not a skank, my friends/family know I'm not a skank, and my boyfriend knows I'm not a skank, so you're opinion really holds no weight with me.
I've only ever met 3 people from Uber, and that was in Chicago, so no, I'm not here just to meet people. I'm here for the same reason as everyone else, including you, to be entertained. It's just a bonus that I've gotten to talk to some mad cool people and meet a few of them. The people I gotten to talk to are awesome and the people I have met are some of the coolest folks I've ever partied with, so I don't regret it at all and would do it again in a heartbeat.
Oh, and you say you're not beating me up, but you call me a cyber-barhag and a skank? You know what man, fuck you. You run around this site, acting as if you're God's gift to men and screaming for attention like a 5 year old, and you have the nerve to pass judgement on me? Why don't you point that self-righteous finger in your own direction.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-04-06 09:59:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 because i dont really know why.
Uber-sluts arent all that attractive as a general population. It is, I am sad to say, the nature of this particular beast.
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-04-06 09:58:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you're right hairycoo! i *CANT* GET *NONE*!
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-04-06 09:55:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
well i'd buy you a birthday twinkie how's that?
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2006-04-06 09:54:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
retro - you sound like a desperate tool who cant get none
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 09:42:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
and all i'm sayin' is, hey man if theyre comin' at you...
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-04-06 09:40:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not trying to "beat up" on her. Just saying what i see. If i knew a girl doing what she does I'd say the same to her.
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2006-04-06 09:37:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I certainly didn't intend this to be a "beat up on hilarity" post.
So the girl wants to meet people. I don't think she intend to blow any of them.
At least, I wasn't expecting anything past a boob grab if she came over to meet Dude...
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-04-06 09:34:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'll make the trip to MD only if I'm guaranteed a fuck and suck.
Get back to me, quick as my schedule is filling up fast.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 09:32:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
if all that's true, i'm in line behind retro.
i also reserve the right to give up my spot if it turns out she's got the clap...
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-04-06 09:29:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2006-04-06 09:06:54 (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks for the mention Grimm, I think.
Retro - Now why do you have to be a dick at 9am? I'm sorry if it intimidates you that I'm spontaneous and extroverted. I like meeting new people who ARE NOT from my small, red-necky hometown because it broadens my horizons as a person. Adventures are what life is all about. How much growth are you going to accomplish as a person if you just surround yourself with the same types of people throughout your life?
---
i didnt feel i was being a dick. it just strikes me as a little off that you seem to email and talk about meeting up with every fuckin dude on this site. you emailed me to prove you weren't an alter and immediately ask me to come see you in MD. you think it intimidates me that you are a cyber barhag that any dude in the bar/site could take home. yeah, real intimidated. you think meeting up with random people is broadening your horizons? i have no problem with meeting people on this site, but you seem to be here for that reason and that reason only like this place is love connection or something.
"hey! you just said my camwhore is pretty! let me drive 5 hours to come and meet you!"
broaden your horizons all you want but dont get mad when a sane person calls it what it is. being a skank. smooches. wanna meet up?
Submitted by angel_2k01 (user info) at 2006-04-06 09:21:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
wohoo, im not an uber-slut
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-04-06 09:06:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Moral of the story: don't count on random Internet people for cyberoral.
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2006-04-06 09:06:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks for the mention Grimm, I think.
Retro - Now why do you have to be a dick at 9am? I'm sorry if it intimidates you that I'm spontaneous and extroverted. I like meeting new people who ARE NOT from my small, red-necky hometown because it broadens my horizons as a person. Adventures are what life is all about. How much growth are you going to accomplish as a person if you just surround yourself with the same types of people throughout your life?
Geez man, live a little.
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2006-04-06 09:06:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by AllyJeans (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:59:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:48:12 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by AllyJeans (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:42:43 (#)
Ranking: 1
Oh come on, you guys. I chuckled.
(That isn't an invitation to email me your Johnson.)
____________________________
I dont think Yahoo! accepts *.dik attachments...
=================================
*rimshot*
_________________
I appreciate that - I thought it was funny, too.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-04-06 09:04:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'M NOT RESPONDING TILL I GET A CAMWHORE THATS NOT A BUNNY DAMMIT.
Wait....what were we talking about????
Submitted by AllyJeans (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:59:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:48:12 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by AllyJeans (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:42:43 (#)
Ranking: 1
Oh come on, you guys. I chuckled.
(That isn't an invitation to email me your Johnson.)
____________________________
I dont think Yahoo! accepts *.dik attachments...
=================================
*rimshot*
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:58:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
All it takes is 1 to say yes and ur off the mark, as they say in cricket
... and if I +2 this then the ladies may link my sexual prowess with yours then you might have some sort of chance.
they are a bit thick like that
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:56:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
to be honest with you, i dont even know what i'm saying right now. that girl hilarity ensues has some issues though. you are like the 10th person to say how you had an email thing going and almost met up, let alone the fact that she has met up with a few of the uberpeople in the past 2 months. she's using this site as her own personal dating service and i find it quite odd. its like, last night, i went out to dinner and ate a bunch of tapas and drank red wine and sangria till the wee hours of the morning and here i am typing a review and thinking about doing some work. i dont know why thats relevant except that the girls i went to dinner with last night i met in real life, not the www. try it out. be wary of girls that like to meet people on the internet. especially hilarity.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:55:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah yahoo does let you sent .dik attachments
Not that I know or anything.
Just an FYI really
Submitted by Adereterial (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:53:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed.
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:48:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by AllyJeans (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:42:43 (#)
Ranking: 1
Oh come on, you guys. I chuckled.
(That isn't an invitation to email me your Johnson.)
____________________________
I dont think Yahoo! accepts *.dik attachments...
Submitted by AllyJeans (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:42:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Oh come on, you guys. I chuckled.
(That isn't an invitation to email me your Johnson.)
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:41:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YOU NEVER SENT ME SOCKS YOU LIAR.
Thanks for the shoutout, but if it makes you feel better the operation should be complete sometime in July
THEN I WILL BE ALL WOMAN WOOOOOOOOO!
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:40:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuck the Dude!!
"You all want Shady, I'm chopped livva."
Submitted by MichelleNJ (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:37:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Oops... meant -2
Submitted by MichelleNJ (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:37:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I guess no "Dude" story today :(
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:24:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
All the Uber womenz love me because I'm so menta.....err... I mean cerebral. Yes, that's it.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:22:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The Uber-Sluts all seem to love Shlongy so I'll probably have to tell you to stay the fuck away from me.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:13:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Generally he costs a packet of sweets for a hand job, and two cigarettes for a gobble.
Berty would make a great pimp though. Shades and reflectors on his wheelchair wheels.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:12:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Berty is one of my harem. If you want to book an appointment with him, you talk to me and we sort out a fee for his services.
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:11:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Berty! I'm shocked! After all we've meant to each other??
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:09:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You could talk to me but I don't trust you.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:07:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2006-04-06 07:37:47 (#)
Ranking: 0
...I don't really know what to think of this post.
---
I do. -2 DIE!
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2006-04-06 08:06:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Stick with the dude upstairs.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 07:59:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i go to starbucks with thick books and a pair of glasses that have the lens taken out. i generally have a sweater and a nifty pair of dockers with a pair of classy shoes to go with. i order up whatever looks expensive based on the numbers, pick out a nice little spot on the love seat couch in the corner, and wait for the place to fill up. eventually a lady-babe is going to saunter on over and ask 'is this seat taken?' to which i will of course respond 'holy fuck she's talking to me...' which i guess is why those visits don't go so well... fuck i need to check out myspace...
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-04-06 07:56:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I go to myspace for friends.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 07:53:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2006-04-06 07:45:19 (#)
Ranking: -2
This post arose for a couple reaons:
1. - Tired of writing about the Dude -- so why not just take a day off? take a break? don't post? invade a small nation and pillage their lands? these are all viable, and better alternatives than your option A.
2. - Too many positive post ratings, gotta bring the ego down -- unbuckle belt. unzip pants. unbutton pants. pull out penis. let tears roll. rub penis. more tears. rub penis again. choke a little on tears. rub penis again, realize it just doesn't work, go to bathtub and fill with warm water. get naked. plug hair dryer in, set on high. sit in tub. drop hair dryer in while on high. repeat if necessary...
3. - A way to make some semi-friends that I've corresponded with laugh a little. -- do you really need friends? i mean, really is it like that for you? fuck man, get out of the house and meet some real people. yeah, i've been on this site for seven hours straight right now, but i'm going for a record. you apparently have a need to meet these people. jesus man, do you have any idea how twisted that is? what i mean is, are you serious? like do you actually have a desire to create meaningful relationships with other people on this site? WOULD YOU REALLY WANT TO MEET ME?!?!?!?!?!
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-04-06 07:48:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
well in that case
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2006-04-06 07:45:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This post arose for a couple reaons:
1. - Tired of writing about the Dude
2. - Too many positive post ratings, gotta bring the ego down
3. - A way to make some semi-friends that I've corresponded with laugh a little.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 07:42:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
if you're going to name drop, make sure you know who's on uber at the time you post. that'd be rule number one. rule number two is never, ever think anyone gives a shit what you have to say. that'll make things easier when you try to get yourself out of a hostage situation. and rule number three, the most important rule of all, is jerking off the egos of random *popular* uber folk just makes you look desperate for attention. if it's attention you want, post naked pictures of your mom. that'll get you plenty of attention real quick...
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-04-06 07:40:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
wow
<stands back in disbelief>
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2006-04-06 07:37:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
...I don't really know what to think of this post.