Self-righteous Rabbit (858 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.74 on 50 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by gravitas (View user info) at 2006-04-07 01:48:26 EDT
Bunny hops down the street on a warm Sunday afternoon. He had spent all morning singing praises to the Almighty and learning of the disciple Peter. As he ponders the meaning of existence, his friend cat walks up to greet him.
Cat says, "Hey, missed you the other night."
With a questioning look Bunny asks, "Why? What happened?"
"Oh, it was badass. We chased featherballs all night long, well at least when we weren't deupholstering the couch. There was this one bitch, though, who tried to get up in my face, but I bit his fucking nose off. Won't see him again. Catnip is the shit."
Bunny fakes a chuckle while he begins explaining how catnip is a tool of satan. Interrupting the lecture, cat grabs him, holding Bunny in a gentle embrace. Then, just as spontaneously, Cat leaps up a nearby telephone pole.
Bunny stares up at him, speechless. His black curious eyes search his friend's blissful grin for an explanation. Cat stares into the distance.
Bunny's enlightenment rushes to his head with the sharp pain of the Doberman's teeth sinking into his neck.
Cat mutters, "Fucking Self-righteous Rabbit."
User Reviews
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-01-10 09:15:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-07-30 16:29:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-07-30 15:28:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Once upon a time there was a little boy named Little Joe. Little Joe liked to sit up on an overpass, urinating on passing cars. One day he passed on a Mormon's passing van, and all his wives hopped out and molested Little Joe like the Jackson family on Christmas.
THE END
Submitted by FlakMonkey (user info) at 2007-07-30 15:20:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Here, this one's worth something.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-07-30 15:09:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YOU ARE WIN
http://www.ubersite.com/m/110614#2487964
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-06-21 11:59:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
'roids gone wild
Submitted by sweetkisses (user info) at 2007-06-21 11:40:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Dirty_Girl (user info) at 2007-06-21 10:20:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by andkon (user info) at 2007-06-21 08:57:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by sorento35 (user info) at 2007-06-21 08:53:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Die, scum.
Submitted by Matin_Morte (user info) at 2007-06-20 23:15:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by muhahaha (user info) at 2007-06-20 22:54:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No...just, no.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-04-18 11:21:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by gravitas (user info) at 2006-04-18 10:14:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
you guessed it, although there is an occasional, 'rar. i'm going to eat you!
-------
I do say that a lot, huh?
Right before I bite you and stuffs.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-18 10:56:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
In fact- here is a for reals e-mail excerpt:
"Who is gravitas, exactly? Alter or no? You can tell me."
Submitted by extacy_red (user info) at 2006-04-18 10:52:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
mehhhhh
although catnip rules and the part about biting noses off was coo.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-18 10:51:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Simple Catalyst isn't real. Everyone knows that.
Submitted by gravitas (user info) at 2006-04-18 10:48:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
haha, makes sense
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-18 10:46:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought you were very likely simple_catalyst.
I didn't research it any, but I had a feeling it might be true.
Submitted by gravitas (user info) at 2006-04-18 10:44:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
thanks, if this semester will end then perhaps I can post more.
I'm curious, whose alter did you think i could be?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-18 10:42:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by gravitas (user info) at 2006-04-18 10:14:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
you guessed it, although there is an occasional, 'rar. i'm going to eat you!'
i wonder if you'll ever see this.
---
Wonder away.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-18 10:39:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
not to belabor it, but:
huh
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-18 10:23:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-07 07:59:34 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-07 01:53:27 (#)
Ranking: 1
Whoa, what's with you?
========
See? I liked you from the get go. Even though I thought you were an alter.
Submitted by gravitas (user info) at 2006-04-18 10:14:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you guessed it, although there is an occasional, 'rar. i'm going to eat you!'
i wonder if you'll ever see this.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-18 09:42:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I don't think Ghola talks in sentences. I imagine she says 'heh' and occasionally mutters 'I like pie' and then goes back to clutching her cats.
Is she a trainee cat person?
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2006-04-07 17:13:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Solid ZERO.
"Worth reading (+0)"
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-04-07 14:56:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
write it out more next time.
haha dead deer.
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2006-04-07 14:43:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Poor bunny.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-04-07 14:17:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Sure!
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-07 11:07:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
huh
Submitted by gravitas (user info) at 2006-04-07 10:44:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-04-07 10:37:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
"goat."
"dead goat."
fuck.
this is a ha ha rabbit joke isn't it?
----------------------
well i was going for the whole 'betrayed with a kiss' judas thing, but now i think you're right.
Submitted by Chillax (user info) at 2006-04-07 10:43:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm giving this a +1 if for no other reason than it makes NO FUCKIGN SENSE whilst at the same time suggesting that it does, indeed, make sense, and that you just haven't figured it out yet.
If I somehow figure it out, or (more likely) someone tells me the gag, you'll probably get a +2.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-04-07 10:37:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"goat."
"dead goat."
fuck.
this is a ha ha rabbit joke isn't it?
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-04-07 09:43:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Nothing to add.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-04-07 09:21:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Can anyone explain to me why Cat reminds me of the vampire Lestat?
AM I TAKING CRAZY PILLS?!
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2006-04-07 08:42:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Phillipe says, "The clap has got me down."
Wanda replies, "You've got three nipples."
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2006-04-07 08:37:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Stay off the drugs, son.
Submitted by MichelleNJ (user info) at 2006-04-07 08:24:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-07 07:59:34 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-07 01:53:27 (#)
Ranking: 1
Whoa, what's with you?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-07 07:59:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-07 01:53:27 (#)
Ranking: 1
Whoa, what's with you?
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-04-07 07:59:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Catnip IS the shit
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2006-04-07 07:22:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Bunny death is not a happy thing.
Submitted by sinna (user info) at 2006-04-07 06:28:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I enojyed this. Damned if I know why, but I did.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-07 05:44:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Fair enough I suppose.
Submitted by DorkLordofTeHSith (user info) at 2006-04-07 05:35:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Hoorah bunny death ^_^
Submitted by Time_What_Is_Time (user info) at 2006-04-07 05:15:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That asshole rabbit has it coming to him.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-04-07 05:04:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
whoa..
what happened just then?
Submitted by fuzzy_buzz (user info) at 2006-04-07 04:22:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
That has totally blown out my hangover. I have no idea what it was about but my head is strangely clearer
Submitted by gravitas (user info) at 2006-04-07 02:09:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I've been real busy but wanted to post. this is what happened.
Thanks for the review
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-07 02:08:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
we don't run with scissors for the same reason we don't post things like this. figure it out yourself, i'm not going to explain it for you.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-07 01:53:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Whoa, what's with you?
Submitted by PoTtY (user info) at 2006-04-07 01:52:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
What the fuck?