FUPA Round 4-- Mother (973 hits)
Category: Quotes & Stories -> PoetryRating: 1.38 on 27 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Bubba2341 (View user info) at 2006-04-09 15:47:45 EDT
The verdant hills, the azure sky, the roiling rampant
Seas, lend grace to Mother Earth, our home, the giver
Of life abundant and death supreme
Between frozen glacial fields and Deserts swathed
In fire lie a plethora of mountains, hills, and vales
Stark in their presence, making the heart beat with the
Feeling that Man in all his wisdom is
But an anomaly, a puny piece
Of fleeting dust.
Explosion, Creation, by Bang or Design,
The beauty of life is assured
Through luck of the draw or Being benign,
Chance, or Omnipotent Word.
The slime of life oozed out from deep within
The boiling mass, creatures formed from
Thought Supreme, or merely happenstance
The road of life has twists galore, some
Frightening and crass, but Nature's game
Is true to all, it takes but one small glance.
The platypus, the kangaroo, the lowly
Little rat, the elephant, the tiger,too,
The walrus, Oh so fat
Outshine poor Man in all his tries
To be the King of Time
Is he the top of all the charts
The Master so sublime?
A lightning storm in all its power,
The major hurricane,
Put Man to shame in all his best
His treasures tried in vain
His paltry gains and foolish toys
Fall into disarray,
For Nature shows her awesome might
Throughout each passing day.
The spider weaves its web so well to catch
The prey suspended
The coyote steals the rancid flesh
No death or harm intended
Survival is the driving force throughout
The planet's fauna,
And Man sits back and primps his face
While soaking in a sauna.
Kilmer saw the tree as beauty,
Keats a Grecian urn, Poe professed
His love of Woman, Kipling, duty's turn
The wonderment of life as seen through
Word and song and deed
Knowing life is short
For Man, the all-consuming breed.
Man sees his fate as Lord of all
His hubris never ending
The Earth he rapes without a thought
Though given for his tending
The day will come, Yea, it is nigh
When he shall pay the bounty
For Mother Nature in her time
Shall call for an accounting.
User Reviews
Submitted by PlatinumScarecrow (user info) at 2009-08-05 15:22:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by GetNakeddd (user info) at 2006-07-17 23:54:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
By agreement
Submitted by secret_of_nimh (user info) at 2006-04-14 22:28:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
TSOBISFBO ETTC TTTTFI TLTOTIT ATPHHHFFT TTTNSTAW KKHTWKF MHTTTWFS
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-13 19:37:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-13 10:05:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
Now that the contest is closed I wanted to give this the rating it deserved.
I couldn't take anything away from this Bubba. Not a single thing. I thought it was excellent, I particularly liked the way the structure gradually changed as you went along, really interesting way to tackle this that was.
Well done, sir.
____________________________________________
Thank you, Scourge. Thanks to all who appreciated it.
My big complaint is a piss-poor rating from some retarded simpleton
who accused me of using words he didn't understand.
We'uns is edjumcated on dis cheer syte. . .
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-13 10:05:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now that the contest is closed I wanted to give this the rating it deserved.
I couldn't take anything away from this Bubba. Not a single thing. I thought it was excellent, I particularly liked the way the structure gradually changed as you went along, really interesting way to tackle this that was.
Well done, sir.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-12 19:57:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Simply fantastic.
I'd have preferred it if you'd stuck to one structure throughout, simply to make it uniform, but I imagine you can always argue that the poem 'evolves' just as Creation does over time.
There were some word choices that were a little strange to me - "top of the charts" - but there were more great lines than odd ones, so it's not a big deal.
The build and the ending were great. A nice warning to finish up the piece.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-12 19:33:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2006-04-12 10:23:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know if you did this on purpose, but the rhyme and meter tightened up as it went along._______
Well, sort of. I started with free verse, which ususlly has little structure, followed by
the simplest of rhyme. I tried to layer it as it went along, but I may have failed. . .
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2006-04-12 10:23:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know if you did this on purpose, but the rhyme and meter tightened up as it went along.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-04-11 21:42:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-04-11 21:34:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
Since you asked and you're a fan, and in the same general demographic as I am.
BUT THAT'S THE ONLY REASON!!!
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-11 19:19:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by clairitea123 (user info) at 2006-04-11 17:41:09 (#)
Ranking: 1
you talk like an old englishman... but it's good otherwise
________________________________________
It's called poetic license. Sheesh.
Submitted by clairitea123 (user info) at 2006-04-11 17:41:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
you talk like an old englishman... but it's good otherwise
Submitted by gank (user info) at 2006-04-11 10:19:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
1.5, cool ending.
Submitted by gank (user info) at 2006-04-11 10:17:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Some good parts in here.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-11 05:01:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-04-10 19:49:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
Good work I especially like the beginning section. Azure is such a cool color word
_____________________________________________________
Thanks gofer, although I'm afraid it was one of the words "somebody" didn't
understand.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-04-10 19:49:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good work I especially like the beginning section. Azure is such a cool color word
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-10 19:41:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm going to break with the tradition on rating my opponent. I understand the hesitancy and don't expect it in return, but I've done it for FUPA before and I'm doing it again.
I think this is absolutely beautiful.
Really well done, Bubba.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-10 19:30:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2006-04-09 22:09:50 (#)
Ranking: 1
This was good, but either my vocabulary is awful or you used waaaaaaaay too many words I can't understand.
______________________________________________
????? There are no words in this that an adult reader should not understand....
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-04-10 09:19:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
personally, i'd have to say i've read better poetry in bathroom stalls.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-04-10 09:11:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2006-04-10 03:34:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Brendon (user info) at 2006-04-09 19:19:51 (#)
Ranking: 0
nurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
---------------------------
Next time try to talk without dick in your mouth.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-09 22:19:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2006-04-09 22:09:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This was good, but either my vocabulary is awful or you used waaaaaaaay too many words I can't understand.
Y Brendon tu fucktard calle tu fucking boca!
Submitted by Brendon (user info) at 2006-04-09 19:34:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhahahhahha
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-09 19:33:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Listen, Brendon, you dipshit. I was answering someone's review. My
own reviews DON"T COUNT. Why don't you fuck off and die? EVERYONE
on this site answers like I did. Your 'nurrrrr' comment
shows your cretin intellect. Fuck you.
Submitted by Brendon (user info) at 2006-04-09 19:19:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
way to get 2 reviews one of which is yours nurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-09 16:34:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-09 16:26:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent work Bubba. Licious will have to be at her best.
_________________________________________
I expect nothing but the best from The Lady.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-09 16:26:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent work Bubba. Licious will have to be at her best.