The littering ticket. (1739 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.34 on 36 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Fat Tony (View user info) at 2006-04-09 17:58:05 EDT
Driving with my kids and I am trying to ignore the fighting and screaming going on. Only they wont stop. They are fighting over a DVD cover. The movie is playing, yet they are fighting over who gets to hold the cover. Without thinking and without looking in my rearview, I grab the DVD cover and throw it out the passenger window. "THERE! NOW NOBODY CAN SEE IT!".
Wooooooop. Wooooooooooo.
I pull over and I know why. The officer comes to me and is acting totally badass.
Officer: Know why I pulled you over?
Me: Yes sir.
Officer: Licence, registration and proof of insurance please.
Me: Yes sir. (fishing in wallet & dash for the items he wanted)
Officer: Step out of the vechicle.
Me: (steps out of truck)
Officer: I'm going to need you to go back there and pick up the item you threw out of the window.
Me: No sir.
Officer: Excuse me?
Me: No Sir!
Officer: I told you to go back there and pick up that item you just threw out your window. NOW!
Me: No. SIR!
Officer: What is your problem?
Me: Sir, I realize that if I go and get that particular item I threw out, you are going to give me a ticket anyway. I'd rather just get the ticket. Sir.
Officer: I'm not going to give you a ticket, now go fetch it.
Me: (seen him writing the ticket) Sir, I'd rather just have a ticket.
Officer: Let me get this straight. You'd rather get a $350.00 ticket, then go back there and get the item you tossed out the window?
Me: Sir! Yes Sir!
Now, he already whipped out his ticket book and started to write it. We all know that this was just an (attempted) lesson in humility. I knew for a fact that the second I brought back the DVD cover, that he would hand me a ticket. I also know that without the actual "litter" I can't get a ticket. If he wants to ticket me, he HAS to have the item I threw out the window.
With great pleasure I stood there and watched the cop go back there (on foot) and find the DVD cover of King Kong and watched him bring it back. "Why did you throw this out the window?" I laughed and said that the kids were fighting over it. With sweat running down his forehead he continues to wright the ticket. I have an ear to ear smile on my face. He then asks why am I on probation. I told him "Failure to pay my last littering tickets, Sir."
I seen him crack a smile. He then hands me two SEPARATE tickets.
Speeding & no seat belt.
Littering.
Why separate tickets? If they was on one ticket, I might have a change at getting one charge (and all of the others) dismissed. He had me doing 50 in a 35.
I'm going to court. I'll confess to the littering ticket. I had my seatbelt on and I wasn't doing more then 40.
With a little detective work, you may be able to find out when officer Dickface's vacation time is. There is a new law in Los Angeles County. If a ticket goes to court and the writing officer does not show up at court, not only is your ticket dismissed, BUT the officer looses a day of pay. So there is no way he is going to miss court. Unless I can find out his vacation time. Only thing is, how?
I'll try calling from a payphone and pretending that I am O'Hara and asking when Dickface's vacation time is. Might get me in more trouble, but I'll figure a way out.
User Reviews
Submitted by MichelleNJ (user info) at 2006-04-13 11:14:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Littering and.... littering and.... littering and....
Submitted by FatTony (user info) at 2006-04-12 20:39:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2006-04-11 15:55:00 (#)
Ranking: -2
Need to get these in while I can!
________________________________________________________________________
LOL! That tells me a lot.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2006-04-11 15:55:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Need to get these in while I can!
Submitted by FatTony (user info) at 2006-04-11 11:13:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why am I going to fight the ticket? Two reasons
A: I was not speeding and I had my seatbelt on
B: Why not fight it? If I can get his vacation time, I'm guaranteed to win in court.
Oxy? What is CVC?
Submitted by Oxymoron (user info) at 2006-04-10 23:15:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"With a little detective work, you may be able to find out when officer Dickface's vacation time is. There is a new law in Los Angeles County. If a ticket goes to court and the writing officer does not show up at court, not only is your ticket dismissed, BUT the officer looses a day of pay. So there is no way he is going to miss court. Unless I can find out his vacation time. Only thing is, how?
----------------
That's been in the CVC for years.
Submitted by soccer (user info) at 2006-04-10 23:07:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'd like to shave my neighbor's pussy! Then pour a lil alcahol on it, watch it run around screaming.
I'd like to encase my neighbor's pussy in concrete! Leave just the head sticking out. Feed and water it regularly, but just enough to keep it alive. Then when it's at the end, throw it in just enough water to drown it.
I'd like to stuff my neighbor's pussy full of candy! Then take it over to my Mexican neighbor's yard and tell the kids it's a new pinata and watch them beat the living crap out of it.
I'd like to shoot my neighbor's pussy with a BB gun! But first I dip the BBs in liquid drano, allowing the copper to swell slightly. That way if they break skin, it will die slowly.
I'd like to stuff my neighbor's pussy full of medicated Vaseline! Until it ozzes out of it's ears, ass, eyes and etc. Then while it's walking, punt it like a football and watch it explode.
I'd like to shove 99 alka seltzer tablets up my neighbor's pussy! Then let it drink some water. Watch how it grows and grows and grows until ewww. gross. Pussy parts everywhere.
I'd like to rip the head off of my neighbor's pussy and use it as an antenna ball! The faster I drive the more Mr. Jingles head bobs in the wind.
I'd like to eat my neighbor's pussy! Take it over to Hop Sing's China Palace, have him stir fry it or on a bed of rice. "You rika take out Mr. Tony?" No thanks, Hop Sing. I'll eat it here.
I hate my neighbors pussy. It shits on my lawn. Took a shit in my truck once (left the windows open) and sleeps on my beamer. Pussy paw prints everywhere, but only when it's clean. If it's dirty it stays away. One day that cat's going to die and I'll have a huge smile on my face :)
Submitted by r0fl (user info) at 2006-04-10 21:45:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-04-10 19:09:00 (#)
Ranking: -2
L A P D
MOVING VIOLATION
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
{ } SPEEDING
{ } ILLEGAL LANE CHANGE
{ } SPILLING YOUR OPEN BEER
{X} BEING A FATASS ALTER
BAIL AMOUNT
~~~~~~~~~~~
-2
OFFICER JONNYX
ID# 12731
-----
BWBHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2006-04-10 21:38:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you deserved the ticket. why are you fighting it?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-04-10 19:09:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
L A P D
MOVING VIOLATION
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
{ } SPEEDING
{ } ILLEGAL LANE CHANGE
{ } SPILLING YOUR OPEN BEER
{X} BEING A FATASS ALTER
BAIL AMOUNT
~~~~~~~~~~~
-2
OFFICER JONNYX
ID# 12731
Submitted by FatTony (user info) at 2006-04-10 15:21:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What's wrong with littering Mistress Fist? WTF are you, the daughter of that fucking Indian with the tear rolling down his face?
It was a plastic cover, technically biodegradable.
And c1ndy always -2s me.
The rest of you -raters can suck my hairy beanbag. Fuck you fucking fuckers.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-10 14:07:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by dirtycyberdawg (user info) at 2006-04-10 13:26:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I was hoping the copper would "Rodney King" your ass
Submitted by WookieSuave (user info) at 2006-04-10 13:08:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Fuck the police!
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-04-10 12:30:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
sometimes life isn't fair
then again, sometimes it is
Submitted by Flack (user info) at 2006-04-10 12:16:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Littering rules!
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-04-10 11:56:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i hate litterers almost as much as i hate baby rapers and child abusers.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-04-10 11:11:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by cuberat (user info) at 2006-04-10 10:58:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2006-04-10 10:12:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-04-10 09:24:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2006-04-10 07:49:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Flow. No Point. Please die.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-04-10 07:43:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
*shrugs*
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-04-10 07:38:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Wow! Such blantant disregard for simple laws that everybody else adheres to.
You sir, are a true man. A manly man. And when you go to prison, a man's man.
You fucking twit.
I hope the next cop thinks you are threatening and shoots your pompous ass.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-10 05:16:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A -2 from C1ndy! Fat Tony, that is a major achievement!
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-04-10 05:08:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I know, why don't you just not chuck stuff out of the window. Or maybe you are just giving yourself something to pick up next time you are wearing an orange jumpsuit.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-10 05:07:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A solid zero.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-04-10 04:58:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
It would have been a -2 but the colourful insults and bad reviews made me smile, much more than the story i'm afraid, therefore -1.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2006-04-10 03:24:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You were lucky he didn't give you a third ticket for getting out of the car.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-09 23:53:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
gee whiz, tony friend! WHAT WILL YOU COME UP WITH NEXT!!?!?!?
Submitted by subtastic (user info) at 2006-04-09 23:30:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you are obviously retarded. you have no idean of the confession you just made you anti-social degenerate mothefucker. your flagrant contamination of our space with your king kong machismo is symptomatic of modern american ignorance.
Submitted by ConorJS (user info) at 2006-04-09 22:58:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by recall (user info) at 2006-04-09 19:44:56 (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 for not even being fat.
=================
UHHHHH?!?!?! WHAT! did you just say!?
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-04-09 22:34:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Your very existence is making the lives of the rest of humanity miserable.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-04-09 20:24:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What a moron
Submitted by recall (user info) at 2006-04-09 19:44:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 for not even being fat.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-09 18:20:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Your purposely contrived misspellings are getting boring, George.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2006-04-09 18:18:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You suck.