Way to cool (527 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: Humour
Rating: -1.55 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Hourman (View user info) at 2006-04-10 08:10:21 EDT
He ran is claw like fingers through his long matted hair and felt the grease spread between his knuckles. He pulled the dark wad back and tied it into a ponytail. He knew he looked cool. Who doesn't look cool with a ponytail? He figured he either looked like a rock star or a love God, either one is good. He toyed with his new DR. Who badge on his jacket. Damn thing came with a scratch on it, what's the point in paying an extra 50p for safe post if it's going to come damaged anyway?
She was talking to that pretty boy from sales again. He has one of those new 'cool' mullet blonde streaky jobs. Blatantly not as cool as the ponytail is, David Beckham super model try hard. He could never be a rock star, let alone a love god. Bastard pissing shitting fuck badge won't sit straight on his jacket. It's never the same if the badge doesn't sit straight. Sales people are so lame. They don't know anything, not like the I.T guys, we know what were doing.
Man I could just stare at her all day long. That long brown hair, those deep blue eyes and that beautiful smile, damn that tempting siren. I could symbolise her and wonder upon her all day long. Man she has some great tits. Big juicy looking ones, the kind of ones you only see in magazines. I would so love to get my hands on those bad boys.
Ok its time to get some coffee. Now caffeine free...nah! What's the point in that shit huh? I ask you what loser would get a picky cup of crap like that? Plain old Americano with extra cream and almond for me thank you very much. Caffeine free ha! Lunch has got to be a ham and pickle job I think. Nothing gets me going like a mid day snack.
Oh shit. Here she comes.
"Dean can you sort out my password, I locked myself out." Oh my God she noticed my hair. Finally she gets how cool I am.
"I can let you in if you want," Flash some teeth, did I brush? Never mind she will get the idea.
"Can I just have a new password please?"
"Fine, let me set it up for you"
"Thanks."
"OK got a pen? Right its 07773456921"
"Is that my I.P address or something?"
"No...that's my number" and a classic wink to seal the deal. You know she is digging me.
"Oh."
"So every time you enter your password you'll have to remember to call me." Another classic wink, I wonder if Friday will be ok for our date.
"Ok. Thanks Dean."
"No problem babe, just don't forget my number." Man three winks! I guess that means I better take my phone of loud.
Oh man I wish I could see the look on that pretty boys face when he knows I'm going to be her new man. Wait here he comes. I guess she has to tell him, better now than later. Get your hand of her you smug pretty bastard...wait...why the hell are they kissing? That slut of a harlot! Right that's it.
User: Hannah
Old Password: 07773456921
Confirm: 07773456921
New Password: cheatingslutwhorebitch
Confirm: cheatingslutwhorebitch
Security Question: What's my favourite book?
Answer: Pretty Women
Change
Security Question: Am I a trampy slut?
Answer: No I just like to fuck for money.
Stupid bitch. Don't fuck with IT.
END
User Reviews
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-07-06 07:18:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-07-05 09:54:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
I am going to rate every one of your posts with a +2 without reading them.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-05-31 08:18:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-05-30 13:14:37 (#)
Ranking: -2
i thought the rating was due to the format but after reading the whole thing i understand that it's completely content based. never post again.
-2DIE
----------------
Shhhhh now go away and think of a better insult. BTW did u let the snake run along? Glad to see that post went positive. Snakes rock Katy.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-05-30 13:14:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i thought the rating was due to the format but after reading the whole thing i understand that it's completely content based. never post again.
-2DIE
Submitted by livEvil (user info) at 2006-05-30 12:51:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
hooked on...
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-05-30 12:13:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Can't be;ive no one got the joke hidden in the sub text of this literary master piece.....ok it was shit
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-04-10 11:31:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This fuckhead gives Electro a run for his money in the "prose" department.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-04-10 10:41:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You fucking suck at this, no really, stop!
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-04-10 10:37:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
well i didn't read it... maybe you mean way to cool, like finding the way to cool.
eh.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-04-10 10:36:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
oh damn, i don't remember hating you.
TOO.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-04-10 09:39:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-04-10 09:05:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Please, oh powerful nerd, forgive us that require those in your mighty state that require you to do your damned job without having to act as though you eat lightning and shit ice cream!
You fuckwad.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-10 08:58:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
sometimes i tickle my anus, too. however, it rarely results in me posting about it.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-04-10 08:46:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Q. Which direction is cool, anyway?
A. The opposite direction to that which you are travelling, ALWAYS.
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2006-04-10 08:43:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2006-03-24 08:33:20 (#)
Ranking: -2
You, sir, suck eggs.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-10 08:40:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-04-10 08:36:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Okay...
The idea in itself was funny. However you needed to proofread the hell out of this and set it up a little better.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-04-10 08:36:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Damn it another failure. Back to the n00b bored for me.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-04-10 08:29:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Needs more rape.
Submitted by angel_2k01 (user info) at 2006-04-10 08:25:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
what?
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-04-10 08:23:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Way TOO cool...?
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-04-10 08:17:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
meh but with extra added "Christ!"
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2006-04-10 08:15:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This was awful.
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2006-04-10 08:12:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You remind me that life sucks and people are stupid.