Breaking Up, It's the Right Thing to Do (1224 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.71 on 41 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by S R (View user info) at 2006-04-12 12:03:40 EDT
Breaking up with your significant other can be a trying experience. But if I've learned anything is that it gets easier over time. And no I'm not talking about the High school break-ups where you write them a letter and stuff it in their lockers (I never did that I swear). The longer lasting major relationships that need the 'talk' before your done.
I've been apart of five major relationships where the time together has spanned from a year to two and a half years together. I've been the dumpee once, the dumper thrice and the other with had a mutual dump.
Like all wet holes, break-ups they all have their own flavour. Some taste good, some sweet, some bitter and some make you puked in your mouth.
1.The Jerry/Elaine Break-up: Though on the show they never show how they break-up you can only assume that it was mutual and their ability to become friends is remarkable. My last relationship was like this. We don't hang out on a regular basis but we do go to the same haunts and sitting at the same table or discussing each others new love lives isn't taboo. Last summer we tried 'the Deal' but like the TV show it just didn't work. Damned if I stay over when my own bed is a 15 minute walk away.
2.The Cast Away: This is the toughest. Your significant other has severed all ties with what was their life before you. You have become their life. You want out of this life. You pull the plug. They have nothing, they are alone. This one is hard, because it usually comes with lots and lots and lots of crying. If I have any kryptonite in me, it's a girl crying. My Cast Away break-up was 8 years ago, it took me three attempts to get it done. I recommend watching Swingers before the break-up, it puts you in the right mind.
3.The Band-aid: Sudden and painful. This is how I got dumped. I was 18. I loved this girl with all my heart. She caught me so off guard that I'm sure she was draining threes with her left hand. No recomendations for this one cause it could happen any time. She did get married to some dousche but I hear it's heading for divorce, haha sucker.
4. The Art of Demining: This is touchy break-up, where it could go all wrong at any moment. You must watch your every word. He /she is ready to blow at any wrong choice of words. I have an Ex, which I have posted about before who fell into this category. You have to be ready on your feet for flying objects. Wear your running shoes.
5. The Spider-web: there's always strings attached. It's been almost six years since we broke up and we were having sex last summer. We said no strings attached but that is bullshit. It was a messy break-up originally kind of a cross between the Castaway and Demining, yet we still chat online and talk about if we're 35 and alone we'd get married. Keep your distance. It seems like if I gave her a certain wink we could get back together just like that. I'm just glad she moved to London (The crappy Ontario one)
That's all I gots, I'm hoping that I'm done with Break-ups, I got my girl now and things are great. She loves hockey and doesn't mind me playing it four times a week. Go Habs Go!
Happy Wednesday Uber.
User Reviews
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2006-04-13 09:11:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-04-12 19:20:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
Good point but the main reason I find it hard to believe is because you can't be honest with girls so you break up with them by cheating. I'm not saying you're not a good guy or anything like that, I'm just saying that kind of thing usually ruins a person's reputation. Especially if they're a guy because most girls will whine and bitch about it to all of their girlfriends and any other girl they come in contact with until they've got every girl within a 50 mile radius hating the guy.
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only girls ahve bad reputations in MOntreal, and that's not a bad thing.
Submitted by sinna (user info) at 2006-04-13 08:42:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by extacy_red (user info) at 2006-04-12 21:28:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oo so true.
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-04-12 19:20:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-04-12 18:58:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-04-12 18:47:03 (#)
Ranking: 0
Haha YOU have a "good guy" reputation? Why do I find that hard to believe?
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Because you know me through the Internet.
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Good point but the main reason I find it hard to believe is because you can't be honest with girls so you break up with them by cheating. I'm not saying you're not a good guy or anything like that, I'm just saying that kind of thing usually ruins a person's reputation. Especially if they're a guy because most girls will whine and bitch about it to all of their girlfriends and any other girl they come in contact with until they've got every girl within a 50 mile radius hating the guy.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-04-12 18:58:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-04-12 18:47:03 (#)
Ranking: 0
Haha YOU have a "good guy" reputation? Why do I find that hard to believe?
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Because you know me through the Internet. My girlfriends' mothers all liked me (can't say the same about their fathers). All of them...until the end of course. I'm a good boy! :-)
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-04-12 18:47:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-04-12 18:23:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
Since most women are usually not emotionally mature enough to accept the fact that they are not perfect, they are even more pissed if you dump them because it doesn't click or other "normal" reasons. It's a lot more convenient for women to discard men as assholes. This way they can move on with their lives without ever worrying if they got dump because their ass got too wide or because they're so fucking boring...no, the man was just an unfaithfull asshole! Poor her! :~(
I am really just doing girls a favor here and at the expense of my "good guy" reputation! :-D
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Haha YOU have a "good guy" reputation? Why do I find that hard to believe? Anyway, if they're not mature enough to handle a little criticism or a normal breakup, they're not mature enough to handle an adult relationship. Maybe I'm cruel and spiteful but if someone can't accept the fact that they're not perfect, that just annoys me and makes me want to point out their flaws to upset them even more. Everyone needs a hard blow to their ego every now and then. It builds character.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-04-12 18:23:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-04-12 17:29:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-04-12 17:10:03 (#)
Ranking: 0
honest best policy isn't that easy to do.
cheating on people though...that's easy :-D
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What's so hard about being honest? The worst that could happen is you get something thrown at your head but we all know girls can't hit a target if their lives depended on it so how bad can it be? I think it's much more respectable to be brutally honest than trying to be nice to spare someone's feelings or taking the easy way out and making yourself look like an ass.
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Since most women are usually not emotionally mature enough to accept the fact that they are not perfect, they are even more pissed if you dump them because it doesn't click or other "normal" reasons. It's a lot more convenient for women to discard men as assholes. This way they can move on with their lives without ever worrying if they got dump because their ass got too wide or because they're so fucking boring...no, the man was just an unfaithfull asshole! Poor her! :~(
I am really just doing girls a favor here and at the expense of my "good guy" reputation! :-D
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-04-12 18:03:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for Caul. IF you want a "clean" break then the easiest way is to make the other person hate you. No dragging things on for months afterwards, no attempts at reconciliation, no feeling sorry for themselves and they don't think they fucked up and let you go, when in reality they did. Cheating is a good way to get them to hate you.
Submitted by pragmatic (user info) at 2006-04-12 17:39:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Castaway +2
Also the one where you want to end it and you've discussed it but because it'll upset him too much, you can't end it and it drags on and on and on til you can't handle it any more.
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-04-12 17:29:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-04-12 17:10:03 (#)
Ranking: 0
honest best policy isn't that easy to do.
cheating on people though...that's easy :-D
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What's so hard about being honest? The worst that could happen is you get something thrown at your head but we all know girls can't hit a target if their lives depended on it so how bad can it be? I think it's much more respectable to be brutally honest than trying to be nice to spare someone's feelings or taking the easy way out and making yourself look like an ass.
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2006-04-12 17:10:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2006-04-12 16:54:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't understand why humans get married and all that crap. I hear the only upside is like the clean laundry and shit. I've got a mother for that reason, thanks.
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OH MY GOD I AGREE MAYBE WE SHOULD GET MARRIED AND THEN MAYBE AFTER WE CAN GO TO LUNCH
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-04-12 17:10:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-04-12 16:37:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-04-12 15:27:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
the best way to dump someone is to cheat on them, tell them and look like the asshole so they hate you and you don't have to deal with tears. works like a charm.
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That's kind of fucked up. I think honesty is always the best policy no matter how harsh it may seem. If they start crying, who cares? It's not your problem anymore and they shouldn't get so upset about it anyway. Besides, if you're breaking up with one of those morons who say "well, I know you cheated on me but I guess I can forgive you this time.....and the next fifty times." your plan doesn't work.
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honest best policy isn't that easy to do.
cheating on people though...that's easy :-D
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2006-04-12 16:54:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't understand why humans get married and all that crap. I hear the only upside is like the clean laundry and shit. I've got a mother for that reason, thanks.
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2006-04-12 16:48:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-04-12 12:16:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
sigh.
what's the point really?
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Food for thought. It's not like the world needs any more "ultimate outcomes" of relationships.
I'm going to protest the maternity ward at the local hospital. Who's with me?
We can walk around with large neon signs that says things like "Abort! Abort!" or perhaps a poorly drawn crayon picture of a baby stabbing its mother with the words "See what happens?!" underneath.
There's a reason babies cry when they have to enter the world. Surely, we should save them that pain as well the mother too.
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-04-12 16:37:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-04-12 15:27:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
the best way to dump someone is to cheat on them, tell them and look like the asshole so they hate you and you don't have to deal with tears. works like a charm.
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That's kind of fucked up. I think honesty is always the best policy no matter how harsh it may seem. If they start crying, who cares? It's not your problem anymore and they shouldn't get so upset about it anyway. Besides, if you're breaking up with one of those morons who say "well, I know you cheated on me but I guess I can forgive you this time.....and the next fifty times." your plan doesn't work.
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2006-04-12 15:40:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-04-12 15:36:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
Did anyone mention the sleeping with her friend breakup?
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I also have been on the sleeping with my buddies ex to distract her, while he gets with the girl he was sleeping with when they were going out. huh? I'm not gay.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-04-12 15:36:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2006-04-12 13:24:30 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-04-12 13:12:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
fuckbuddyism is the best.
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agreed yet it usually starts that way and ends differently, even with rules...
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noted and usually regrettably.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-04-12 15:36:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Did anyone mention the sleeping with her friend breakup?
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2006-04-12 15:27:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Munkey I like girls that dump...
huh?
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-04-12 15:27:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
the best way to dump someone is to cheat on them, tell them and look like the asshole so they hate you and you don't have to deal with tears. works like a charm.
Submitted by Shmee51 (user info) at 2006-04-12 15:19:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Hah, now if only I could manage to have a break up that isn't just art of demining. Note: my running shoes are worn out.
Submitted by phels97 (user info) at 2006-04-12 15:17:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The girl im with now got dumped over a text message. I think thats the worst i've ever heard of.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-04-12 15:16:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Go Habs Go!
ALLONS-Y HABITANTS!
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2006-04-12 15:11:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've been apart of five major relationships where the time together has spanned from a year to two and a half years together. I've been the dumpee once, the dumper thrice and the other with had a mutual dump.
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HAHAHAHAHAHA....he said dump.
Wow I am so fucking immature.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-04-12 13:38:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
draining threes?
My niece once got dumped via instant messenger.
now that's harsh
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2006-04-12 13:24:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-04-12 13:12:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
fuckbuddyism is the best.
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agreed yet it usually starts that way and ends differently, even with rules...
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-04-12 13:12:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fuckbuddyism is the best.
Submitted by Call911 (user info) at 2006-04-12 12:57:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm in London, Ontario. Give me her number and I'll make sure your off the hook.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-04-12 12:24:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I came home from the VegasUbercon and found that my boyfriend of six years was now my housemate living in the spare bedroom.
Good times....BandAid style I suppose
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-04-12 12:21:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2006-04-12 12:17:13 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-04-12 12:07:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm just starting a new relationship and enjoying the ride.
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So you're on top then? nice.
PS-T-L get my entry? :P
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Top.Sideways.Upsidedown.Whatever. :P
Yes. All good.
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2006-04-12 12:20:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That guy on Jerry Springer who married a horse had the right idea.
"If she wasn't enjoying it, she'd just walk off" *thwap thwap thwap*
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2006-04-12 12:17:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-04-12 12:07:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm just starting a new relationship and enjoying the ride.
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So you're on top then? nice.
PS-T-L get my entry? :P
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-04-12 12:16:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sigh.
what's the point really?
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2006-04-12 12:15:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-04-12 12:11:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
This +2 is a carry-over from your solid post yesterday.
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I think my post yesterday is my favorite too
Submitted by cuberat (user info) at 2006-04-12 12:14:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MonkeyingAround (user info) at 2006-04-12 12:13:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is why I only date around... serious relationships screw up my "ish" and every major break up I've had we ended up being pretty good friends afterwards or just went our separate ways.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-04-12 12:11:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This +2 is a carry-over from your solid post yesterday.
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-04-12 12:11:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I've been watchin' you from afar,
for as long as I can remmeber
You are all a real man can need
and ever ask for
this is love
this is more than a crush
It was all ....(up at Rutgers)
I saw with your man
smiling, huh, a coach bag in your hand
I was laying in the coup with my hat turned back
we caught eyes for a moment, and that was that
so skated off, as you strolled off
looking at them legs, god damn they looked so soft (so fine)
I gotta take ya from your man that's my mision
If his love is real he got ta handle competition
you only knew about 5 months (that's right)
besides he drinks too much and smokes too many blunts
and I've been working out everyday thinking bout you
looking at my own eyes in the rear view
cathchin flash backs of our eye contact
wish i could lay ya on your stomach and caress your back
i would hold ya in my arms and ease your fears
I can't believe it, I hadn't had a crush in years
hey lover, hey lover, this is more than a crush
Lover, hey lover, this is more than a crush
hey lover, hey lover, this is more than a crush
I see you at the bus stop waitin everyday
your man must think its safe for you to travel that way
but i don't want ta violate your relationship
so i lay back in the cut with a crush that'a trip
still he can't stop me from having day dreams
tounging you down with huh vanilla ice cream
kissing on your thighs in the moonlight
searching your body with my tounge girl all night
I wonder one day could it be, simple dreams turnin into reality
Our love would come down so naturally
we would walk down the isle of destiny
what your man got his hustle on gotcha type scared
break ya off a little chump change to do your hair
that seems to be enough to satisfy your needs
but there's a deeper level if you just follow my lead
Hey lover
Last week I saw ya at the mall
standing at the pay phone bout to make a call
I had a vision it was me on the other end
telling you come by and then you walked in
I touched you gently with my hands
we talked about traveling the distant lands
escaping all the madness out here in the world
becomin my wife no longer my girl
then, you let your dress fall down to the floor
i kissed you softly and you yearned for more
we experienced pleasure unparallel
into an ocean of love we both fell
swimming in the timeless, currents of pure bliss
fantasies interchanging with each kiss
undying passion unities our souls
togehter we swim until the point of no control
but its a fantasy it(that,you) won't come true
we never even spoke and your man (still) love you
so I'm gonna keep all these feelins inside
keep my dreams alive until the right time
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-12 12:08:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-04-12 12:07:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny you should post this at this time.
I'm just starting a new relationship and enjoying the ride.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-12 12:05:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This does not help my mood