Damn, That Bitch Could Blow (NSFW) (2711 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.28 on 56 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by The Cyst Master (View user info) at 2006-04-12 16:47:40 EDT
I met this girl on a Tuesday. She was hot and cute. Unbelievable. We bullshitted for a while. She started telling me something about school, I wasn't paying attention. In the middle of her thought I broke in,
-"Listen. I'm hot, you're hot. Let's get to it."
She paused, then a smirk developed on her face and her eyes fluttered.
We walked around to the back of the building. She looked down at my pants then started to undo my belt and zipper. She took out her retainer. I pulled out my dick. She tossed her Trapper Keeper to the side. My dick stood at attention, pointing right in her face.
She went down on me right away. Damn, that bitch could blow.
She was good. I looked down at her face, stuffed with cock. I smiled and then I thought to myself,
- "This wouldn't be good if it wasn't illegal."
I reached to my hip, pulled out my knife and stabbed her in the brain.
She bit down. I came in her mouth. The sensation of her quivering jaw, the blood, and the cum made me forget about her finger nails digging into my thigh.
The blade slid effortlessly through the bone and grey matter. Surprising. One day I want to shave with it.
Her green eyes rolled back into her head, her mouth dropped, and she fell backwards to the ground. The blood found a crack in the pavement and rivered away from us. I placed my still erect penis in my pants and bent down to retrieve my knife from her skull. I pulled it out, wiped the blade clean with my thumb and index fingers then promptly put them in my mouth. That's what she tasted like.
I dragged her body three blocks leaving a trail of blood behind us. I stopped three times to kick the wound to prevent it from clotting. Not bleeding is for pussies. I wonder if her dad has a boat.
I dragged her behind a gas station. I picked her body up and laid it on a pile of wooden boards and cinder blocks. I lifted up her skirt and pulled down her panties. Light blonde hairs were just starting to sprout around her vagina. I inhaled some phlegm and spit onto her tight pink vagina lips.
She was probably eleven or twelve. A little too old.
She laid peacefully with a crimson halo of blood around her head.
I picked up a cinder block and dropped it on her face. It impacted and fell to the side. The blood spray was less than anticipated. Her teeth shattered and oozed out of her mouth with the blood.
She would have broken someone's heart when she grew up.
I picked up a weathered two by four and took four hard swings at her crotch. Immediate bruising started after the first hit. The sound of her pelvis snapping on the fourth swing reminded me I was out of toilet paper.
I walked around to the front of the gas station. A cashier looked at me through the window. I tapped on the window and said through the glass,
- "There are some delinquents smoking pot behind your establishment."
...with perfect annunciation.
User Reviews
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2006-09-17 04:58:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
8-0 BUH?
Kicker of all 12 year-old whore ass.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-09-17 03:59:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by WingedFoote (user info) at 2006-09-17 03:40:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what IS wrong with you?
Submitted by WingedFoote (user info) at 2006-09-17 03:40:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what IS
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-04-21 00:48:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Tubabuhst_01 (user info) at 2006-04-12 17:51:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
That was reminiscent of The Chronicles of College Guy....
----------------------
College Guy was a hack compared to Cyst
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2006-04-21 00:29:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2006-04-16 02:33:10 (#)
Ranking: -2
What the fuck is wrong with you?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When Kaelic -2's you you've really made it.
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2006-04-16 02:33:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What the fuck is wrong with you?
Submitted by Chazzy (user info) at 2006-04-16 01:39:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-04-13 11:04:45 (#)
Ranking: 1
disgusting.
...ly well written. and disgusting.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-04-13 11:04:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
disgusting.
...ly well written. and disgusting.
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2006-04-13 09:19:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Not bleeding is for pussies. I wonder if her dad has a boat."
Submitted by eppliks (user info) at 2006-04-13 09:09:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If you stabbed someone in the brain, their jaw would clench shut as they die, and they would DEFINITELY bite your dick off.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-04-13 08:34:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Good gravy...I think your whole HEAD is a cyst.
BTW, it's "enunciation", not "annunciation."
Submitted by sinna (user info) at 2006-04-13 07:50:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hang on a minute. Cyst = Shandy??
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-04-13 07:04:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2006-04-13 06:17:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"The sound of her pelvis snapping on the fourth swing reminded me I was out of toilet paper"
<><><><><><><>
Good god. You're my favourite poster by the width of Goatse man's arsehole.
Submitted by Magic_Monkey (user info) at 2006-04-13 05:56:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-04-13 01:26:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
This was... just perfect.
You are a monster in every sense of the word.
Thank You.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-04-13 05:55:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
well written..
Submitted by street-pirate (user info) at 2006-04-13 01:33:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2006-04-12 17:11:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
woah
spicy
I couldn't read this through.
Spare my life?
Submitted by devadasi (user info) at 2006-04-13 01:31:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-04-13 01:26:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was... just perfect.
You are a monster in every sense of the word.
Thank You.
Submitted by cshape (user info) at 2006-04-13 01:15:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wicked picture.
Submitted by laika (user info) at 2006-04-13 00:50:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
it's not well written and you are a pathetic piece of shit.
too bad there is no justice in this world and you wont be run over before
you try to act on one of your fantasies.
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-04-12 22:36:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I enjoyed this non fiction piece about your toilet paper running out.
Submitted by EntityErased (user info) at 2006-04-12 22:12:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is delightfully disgusting.
And well written.
Though I fear I may be going to hell for having said that.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-12 21:34:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i have no idea where i am right now.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-04-12 18:59:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I wish she woulda bit your dick off.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-04-12 18:54:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It was safe for work, if you would have pressed down with the pencil hard enough for the lines to show up, it wouldn't have been safe for work though.
Submitted by extacy_red (user info) at 2006-04-12 18:33:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2006-04-12 17:58:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
but what about her human rights?
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-04-12 17:55:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I jizzed on the retainer and put it back in her mouth. It was her final wishes. Then the trapper keeper engulfed my body and took over the world.
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-04-12 17:53:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
what did you do with the retainer and trapper keeper?
Submitted by wetyourself (user info) at 2006-04-12 17:51:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
That kind of writing is what's wrong with the world today... I have a boner.
Submitted by Tubabuhst_01 (user info) at 2006-04-12 17:51:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That was reminiscent of The Chronicles of College Guy....
good stuff!
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-04-12 17:48:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well? Did her dad have a boat?
Submitted by Hash_brownie_supreme (user info) at 2006-04-12 17:39:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Eh...
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-04-12 17:25:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fucking yes Bosh Man.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-04-12 17:25:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
see what i did there? yaaaayyyyyy puns
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-04-12 17:25:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hey man that bitch had it coming
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-04-12 17:24:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This was awful.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2006-04-12 17:24:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
She would have broken someone's heart when she grew up.
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Bro's before ho's I would say along with my friends that I used to have before they got married. Food is my friend. I THINK.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-04-12 17:23:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
messed up TO THE MAXX!
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-04-12 17:23:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm giving you this because I can't say "made me smile" and it deserved a positive rating....
damn that was fucked up.
Submitted by BodhiRS (user info) at 2006-04-12 17:17:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
unbelievably AMAZING!
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-12 17:15:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This +2 is for my mom. Don't kill her either.
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-04-12 17:14:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're one strange dude.
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2006-04-12 17:11:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
woah
spicy
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2006-04-12 17:09:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by WookieSuave (user info) at 2006-04-12 17:07:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is probably one of the most fucked up pieces of ANYTHING I have ever read.
It is however, sickley intriguing and well written.
+2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-04-12 17:05:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
<engorge>
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-04-12 17:05:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
PS
Thanks for the candy.
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-04-12 17:00:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I will spare your life. Want to give out any other +2's for your family members?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-12 16:59:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Category: Romance
Holy shit, man...
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-12 16:58:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy shit man.
My guess is Cyst Master is some kind of frustrated accountant or something. A guy who apologizes when other people are at fault, looks at the ground a lot, stammers a bit maybe.
This is his place to release all the pent up rage so he doesn't go on an interstate shooting rampage.
I'm going to give this a +2 just so he'll spare my life when he snaps.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2006-04-12 16:53:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well................................
Not sure what to say here.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-04-12 16:52:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You are seriously fucked in the head. Pun intended.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-04-12 16:51:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sweet jesus