How to set the mood for some Gator lovin' (574 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.57 on 8 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by S R (View user info) at 2006-04-13 14:15:15 EDT
It was the spring of 2001 and I was in Bradenton, Florida visiting my father. 3 of my buddies made the 26-hour drive form Montreal with me. We golfed, we drank we hit the Tampa bars, etc...
One night at about 2am as we were returning from Sarasota, I think. Doesn't really matter, and my friend Graham, who was driving suggested that we go looking for gators. Being Canadian, where the coolest animal around is the caribou, we all thought that this was a great idea.
We find a state park with a big river on the map and we head there. Seeing as it's about half an hour away and the alcohol was wearing off you could see that we would have been really irritated if we went all that way and not seen any gators. My other friends Mark and Jay are already passing out and were all for going home and sleeping. But Graham said it was mating season and laid down a guarantee that we would see some gators. Boy he was right.
We pull up by the bridge and start looking, it was darker than Rumsfeld soul, no cars, no lights. So remembering the one time I watched the crocodile hunter (I swear I only watched once) I pulled out my video camera for the light and started to look for the eyes reflection.
Me: HOLY SHIT! I think I see something!
*Everyone jumps and runs to where I'm looking*
Me: There! There! See the eyes!
*Then the water started to move; yup we were pretty sure we found a gator. We were giddier than a seven-year-old girl on a pony*
Jay: Let's throw cookies at it!
*No one disagreed, seemed like the logical thing to do*
All of us: hehe hehe hehe hehe (as we threw cookies.)
I'm not fluent with Gator behavior but one thing I know now is cookies make gators horny. The big gator, we named him Chip Ahoy, Probably 9 feet long (don't know the regular size but we presumed he was the male because all the other gators were smaller). That's right more gators about 7 other gators were attracted to the splash of chewy chocolate chip cookies hitting the water.
This is when Graham had the great idea of setting the mood.
Graham: It's mating season, they need some lovin' music.
*Okay now bear with me here, If you've seen the movie Josie and the Pussycats then you know what I'm talking about, if not sorry, we played the Du Jour song -Backdoor lover- (funniest song about anal sex I know), he blasts it from his car*
Now the rest is history I would believe it if I wasn't recording it with my camera. We watched Chip Ahoy go from gatorpussy to gatorpussy spreading his seed. It was something very similar to the porn I rented a couple weeks back "Reptileman's Sinister Sex, the Orgy Files".
Last week I tried pelting my girlfriend with cookies, and play 'Backdoor lover', but it didn't have the same affect, she would like her girlfriends join in on the fun.
User Reviews
Submitted by little_miss_know_it_all (user info) at 2006-04-14 14:07:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
As a Florida Native, I felt the need to rate this story as an automatic +2. But you really missed out by not going to the annual Sopchoppy worm grunting festival, or the Little Havana tomato wrestling contest. So I had to mark you as a +1. Sorry
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-04-14 11:17:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking awesome.
I can't wait to try it.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2006-04-13 21:20:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by ampersand (user info) at 2006-04-13 14:44:09 (#)
Ranking: 1
Typoish but amusing.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2006-04-13 17:46:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I will fuck you in the mouth !
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-04-13 16:51:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"we played the Du Jour song -Backdoor lover"
Auto +2 for that.
Submitted by ampersand (user info) at 2006-04-13 14:44:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Typoish but amusing.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-13 14:29:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"So remembering the one time I watched the crocodile hunter"
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you watch him too?!?! DID YOU SEE THE ONE WHERE HE PUTS THE BABY IN THE HEAD?!?! nuts man. nuts.
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2006-04-13 14:16:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Taking a page from CBG on SPT... Happy long weekend!