How you, lowly average Uberer, can save a life. (3675 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: crap:non-fiction
Rating: 1.37 on 126 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Circe <fickle.muse.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2006-04-14 08:42:39 EDT
Namely mine.
I'm weak - I'm so very, very weak. I need to quit smoking because ever since the anaesthesia-gone-wrong, pregnant-with-twins, drawstring-sewn-way-to-hell-and-gone-up-my-twat pneumonia/death/coma trifecta with bonus tracheostomy three years ago (fitting all of that into one sentence is a lot easier than I thought it would be), my lungs don't work so good no more. I won't even have to wait for lung cancer; eventually, in about, oh, ten years, my lungs simply won't work any longer and I'll drop down dead. Again.
I know this. And I can't stop.
[Sidebar: Where's my fucking medal? Seriously. While I was comatose the doctors told my ex that I'd never be able to smoke again and yet, here I am, back up to a pack a day. That takes determination, people. And yet when little Jimmy regains the ability to shuffle up the wheelchair ramp at Cripple School, he gets award ceremonies and I get shit-all.]
I've tried - god knows I've tried. But after a few days something stressful happens (burning toast, dropping a cup, getting out of bed, blinking) and I'm at the corner shop faster than you can say "total respiratory failure" buying a pack of Cambridge, telling myself it's the last one.
Just one more cigarette, one more packet, one more day, week, month, year. Then I'll quit for SURE. And I've finally realised that I'm not going to - not by myself. This weakness is shocking.
_________________________________________________________________________
Totally unrelated anecdote to change your boredom into.... a whole other kind of boredom
_________________________________________________________________________
Today at the kennels, someone brought in their Staffordshire Terrier to see if it got along
with our Rottweiler because they'd seen him on the website and wanted to take him home.
To make a short story even shorter, I spent an hour today watching one dog hump another
dog's face. I don't know why the supervisor keeps sending potential customers over to me -
I have this insane inability to keep my mouth shut.
"No, Oren, that's not right - you're a boy, he's a boy - remember the diagrams?"
"He's not confused, he's just adventurous."
"If I wanted to see that I'd look for it on the internet. Actually, does anyone have a camera?
I've just a totally unrelated awesome idea."
"He's seen too many movies."
"Look, Oren, if you'd stop moving it'd be over soon - just close your eyes and think of England
and try not to bite down."
They bought the dog - that's three I've sold now! I'm a whirlwind of customer satisfactionism.
Someone humped my foot today and I got bled on by a Doberman. I feel spiritually and
emotionally fulfilled.
________________________________________________________________________
I can quit when I'm pregnant. I can stop for nine months - I'm cranky as hell, but I know it's only a matter of time until I get that sweet sweet nicotine hit, and I force myself through it.
Short of getting knocked up again, I don't know how to do this. As the saying goes "I can quit whenever I want to." The problem is making myself want to. I like smoking. I like everything about it. I like the taste, the smell, the buzz, the ritual, the reward after a hard day. I like the way it tastes with whiskey, tequila, and wine. I love the way it tastes with coffee.
They say to avoid triggers, but getting out of bed is a trigger. Not having had a cigarette for two hours is a trigger. Breathing in and out is a trigger.
Help me. Berate me, you baby-insulting rape-mocking weirdos (oh how I love all of y'all.) Give me advice; I'll follow it, all of it, even the advice that conflicts with the other advice. I don't want to give you cliches, but here's one anyway - I don't want to die like that. I remember what it's like to drown without water, and I don't want it to be like that.
Give me facts, give me lies, give me pictures, give me hell. Come on, your communal disgust for people who take antidepressants has made me wean myself off mine. You can do it. I have every confidence in you.
User Reviews
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2007-04-03 03:18:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
send me your precise geographical coordinates, then go into your backgarden, lie on your back, spread your legs and spread open your labia, at at precisely 12 am eastern time i will launch a flying jism convoy across the continent to the rescue.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-04-03 03:04:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now, you posted this a long time ago. Who knows if you'll come back and check your reviews. Hell, you may even have quit smoking. But even if the point is no longer pointy, here's my two cents worth.
About two months before I quit smoking, I implemented a new rule in my life; "One Junk Food Day A Week". It is as it's named, I get to eat things that are bad for me once a week. One day, chosen by me, but one day only. After 10 or so successful consecutive weeks, I quit smoking. It was just a drop in the ocean. And you know what? I crave chocolate more than I crave cigarettes. And I get to have chocolate, once a week.
Now, I don't know if this will work for you. I don't know quite how it worked for me. But it did.
And in case you think I'm a complete pansy health freak, I still drink and I still drink coffee. So only a partial pansy health freak.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-12-09 11:51:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"just close your eyes and think of England"
Ah, yes, the words of a Victorian mother to her daughter on her wedding night.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-18 22:34:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Circe if all else fails, you could always mae your smoknig into a fetish get an internet site and start raking in the money.. Just a thought.
Submitted by Tyrone_Washington (user info) at 2006-04-18 22:21:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I believe that while smoking is addictive, it's not particularly the lack of nicotine that will send you back to it, it's the routine.
When I quit a few years ago I had to drastically alter my routine to avoid lighting up. I avoided all of my regular places where I'd smoke (you can only smoke in bars here now) which was tough because I was smoking about two packs a day. What worked for me might sound scary, but I just decided to wake up and bother myself with something else, like cooking delicious breakfasts or reading the papers.
Exercise helps a lot too, pretty much any recreation will make you forget about a smoke, even if it's as simple as going for a bike ride or walk.
I don't know if you're much of a drinker, but to me a cold beer and a smoke go hand in hand. That was the most difficult part for me, and I had to avoid the bars for some time before I could go back and breathe in the secondary nicotine knowing I wouldn't take part in it.
If all else fails, think of the money you could spend on other things you enjoy, think of the fact that in probably a few short years the nicotine nazis will ban smoking outdoors (they're never going to give up), think of the health benefits such as getting rid of that 24/7 cough, and stay positive and look at it as a gift and not a burden. The first few weeks will suck, I can promise you that, but it's only time and when you clear the first few hurdles it DOES get easier.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-18 21:53:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-04-17 23:58:40 (#)
Ranking: 0
Doodles, I'm pretty sure it's in Night Shift.
Hang on.
Yep.
---
Yes, after many hours of searching for it I found the bitch, and then promptly put it back in it's spot, right after Misery.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2006-04-18 10:27:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Think of it like this- two of your children have CF. Do you want to die before they do? Do you really want to leave them relatively alone for something that would probably be really good to have their mother there for, if only to hold their hands? Particularly if you die of lung-related causes that you could control, but "Oh, I don't really want to. I like it!". That's more irony than the world needs, sweetie.
And we'd miss you, too.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-04-17 23:58:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Doodles, I'm pretty sure it's in Night Shift.
Hang on.
Yep.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-17 21:02:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-04-17 20:27:19 (#)
Ranking: 0
Doodles - Quitters Inc. So many times I've wished that place actually exists
---
Thank you Circe been driving me batshit not being able to find the book. I think I have OCD or somthing I have three bookcases that are arranged in alphabetical genre order then authors last name
then if they have the same last name first name and then the books name.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-04-17 20:27:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Doodles - Quitters Inc. So many times I've wished that place actually exists.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-17 19:18:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, it's not in my bookshelf so I'll just summerize it for you:
Ok this dude wants to quit smoking and he's reffered to a small business. When he gets there they ask him basic information and then more personal information like how is his marriage oding and if he has kids and such. Then he coems back the next day and the business people did research and found out he had a retarded son. Then they show him these caged rats who are starving but have cheese in the cage and he asks why they don't eat it or somthing. So they tell him that every tie the rats eat cheese the electricute the floor in essence making the rats think food=pain so they starve, they then say they apply the same method to making you quite smoking. Then they tell him they will secretly follow him around and every time he smokes they will get his wife or son and bring them in to be punished:
First time wife shocked through floor
2 time retarded child would be shocked
3.I forget
last time they would kill him
So he gets casught smoking once and his wife gets electricuted and he never smokes again.
Then they give him diet pills because quitting made him fat and they give him a weight limit each time he checks in that he can't be over because if he is then they'll cut his wifes finger off or osmthing. And at the end of the story he meets the freind who refered him to the place wife and she missing the finger or osmthing.
That would get you to quit smoking Circe.I'm betting theres a bunch of typos in this review but skate it off.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-17 19:05:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Argh I miss all your posts Circe.. Ugh hold on Stephen King wrote a short story about quiting smoking, I must go find it now and type it in word and then make a /re: post about it so you'll leave the the dutchman for me and move to america because I can't be assed to move to Australia.
Yes?
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-04-17 18:59:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Chemotherapy HURTS!
Radiotherapy HURTS!
Spending 8 weeks in hospital with a tube in your chest HURTS!
Submitted by Spacegrass (user info) at 2006-04-17 14:50:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I heard a story of this working for someone. No idea if it's true. I don't smoke. Buy a pack. Lock yourself in a closed room with a large bucket. Suck down the cigarettes as fast as you can. You should be sucking down as much of the cigarette with each breath as you possibly can. Keep going at this pace until you finish the whole pack. You will apparently vomit aplenty. Don't let that stop you. Once the pack is gone, you won't have the urge to smoke anymore. Supposedly :)
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-04-17 12:14:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-04-14 08:54:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
Smoking is great...I will never quit.
Hope that helps!
-----------------------------
Do you want to be like caul?
If that doesn't help you quit I don't know what will.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-16 10:41:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2006-04-16 09:57:00 (#)
Ranking: 1
the reason it's so fucking hard to quit is because people have been saying it's hard to quit for your entire life. If everyone in the world said it was easy from day one, it's be a piece of cake.
but what do I know? I just wiped my ass with a pinecone.
_______________________________________
Euell Gibbons lives!!
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2006-04-16 09:57:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
the reason it's so fucking hard to quit is because people have been saying it's hard to quit for your entire life. If everyone in the world said it was easy from day one, it's be a piece of cake.
but what do I know? I just wiped my ass with a pinecone.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-04-15 20:12:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
goodluck with it.
my boyfriend smokes and reaks of ashtray constantly.
it saddens me. way it goes.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-04-15 19:40:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Seriously though, it'll just take willpower. You're well 'ard, I'm sure you'll be fine with enough grim determination and support.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-04-15 19:36:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I read somewhere that a man was able to substitute his cocaine addiction for heroin and cyle the two somehow. Perhaps something similar could be done in your case only involving a dangerous substance taken into a place where it will not cause so much damage. A suppository perhaps?
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-04-15 19:19:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-04-14 16:05:14 (#)
Ranking: 2
get pregnant, than get an abortion in your 3rd trimester.
Repeat as necessary."
hahahahahaha
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-04-15 19:13:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Dear Circe,
Stop fucking smoking.
Lots of love,
Matt
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-04-15 19:05:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-14 09:38:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
How about the damage you do to others around you? A vast load of guilt there about all the time you're taking from other people."
that feeling is guilt? i always thought it was the pure joy of absolute and utter disdain. huh.
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-04-15 19:03:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-04-14 08:54:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
Smoking is great...I will never quit.
Hope that helps!
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-04-15 19:02:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sorry, that was really evil
actually no
no, i mean yes it is evil. i'm just not sorry. smoke up.
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-04-15 19:01:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
lcolby.com
:D
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2006-04-15 17:30:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
At least you're asking for help.
Problem is, Uber isn't the place to ask. I didn't read all of the reviews, but I read a few of them. Seems like what we have right now are a shitload of assholes, a bunch of smokers and one or two people who actually would like to help you.
Problem is, you're a smart lady. You're not going to read something here that will make you go, "You're right. Fuck cigarettes." Because not even near-death stopped you from smoking, you dumb bitch. When the doctor told you that you wouldn't smoke again, he wasn't issuing you a fucking challenge. It's not an accompishment that you're smoking a pack a day -- it's the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard. You've been given a second chance at life and you're burning it away. You deserve to die.
If you really want to stop smoking, then you'll have to stop enjoying it.
I'm not a smoker and I never really have been, so I don't have any bullshit techniques to help you stop, but I could try.
Let's see...
Okay, every time you want to have a cigarette, go fetch one of your children. Sit down and make them stand in front of you. Then smoke. Blow that shit all up in their face. They'll hate you for it, I'd imagine. And you'll hate yourself. Or at least, you better. Just go ahead and keep doing that every time you smoke a cigarette.
Either you'll die and they'll hate cigarettes with a passion or you'll live and they'll hate cigarettes with a passion.
At least you'll be making up for your poor parenting (at least when it comes to the smoking issue).
Submitted by Naery (user info) at 2006-04-15 15:49:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is my recipe for quitting. It seriously worked. I was smoking about 25-28 smokes/day. The following is a brief account of how I quit:
Went out to dinner with a large group of friends on Friday night. At the restaurant, advertisers for a new brand of cigarrettes were giving out free sample packs (no shit, that kind of thing happens a lot in Japan, even got free beer one night), one pack to every smoker. My buddies tried 'em, didn't like 'em, I did, buddies gave me their packs. I then had about 6 packs on me: my original Larks (getting close to empty), my backup pack, the free advertising sample pack *I* had rec'd and then the packs from my three buddies that *they* had rec'd but didn't want.
We all finished dinner and went to a club. For about $30 USD (for guys, $25 for girls), this club is all-you-can-drink with a full bar. I started doing tequila shots chased with tequila sunrises. Naturally, because I was drinking heavily, I was also smoking quite heavily. I smoked all 5 (remaining) packs that night in addition to drinking myself into oblivion (literally; I don't remember about a 4-hour period, best as i can tell, from that night). When I woke up Monday afternoon, I didn't want to smoke anymore. That is a true story. I hope it helps. By the way, that was almost three months ago and I've only had one smoke since then, but I couldn't finish it.
Maybe you could also, instead of the needle thing mentioned below, try putting the cigs out on the palm of your hand. More Pavlovian Classical Conditioning...
Good Luck!!
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-04-15 15:44:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-04-14 08:44:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
Hypnotoad.
Seriously.
ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD.
>>>BOOOOWWWWW<<<
Submitted by phauna (user info) at 2006-04-15 09:53:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Tobacco is a piss poor excuse for a drug. It doesn't get you high, you don't see any blue fairies and you won't feel like everyone loves you. Just shoot up.
It kills other people directly, like bar staff, your children, your dog Fifi. It stinks, makes you stink, makes everything tasteless, yourself included.
It's a leading cause of household fires, self immolation cases, bushfires, car crashes ala The Big Lebowski.
And animals eat the butts which swell in their throats and kill them. Cute ones.
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2006-04-15 09:20:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I quit in June of 2001. I just....quit. You won't until you are really ready. It never worked for me to say "well, I'll give it a go and see how it turns out." It just worked for me to say "I'm done"
Nothing much to add, I think everything has been covered. You know my email, I am volunteering for bitch support.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2006-04-15 04:42:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I had my first cigarette in about 6 weeks last night...
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-04-15 02:33:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I sold 340 cigarettes today.
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2006-04-15 00:57:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
nintendogs?
FAG
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2006-04-15 00:31:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I had a throat infection that kept me from smoking for about 2 weeks. In that time I bought a Nintendo DS. I've just forgotten to smoke because my hands are so busy playing Nintendogs.
I haven't had a cigarette in a week.
The Nintendo DS is the key to not smoking. Odd, I know.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-14 21:57:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Tell the Surgeon General to go fuck himself. . .
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-04-14 21:41:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I quit smoking because I don't want to go out of this world like a bitch with fucking tubes up my nose, down my throat, up my ass and wherever else they'll stick them.
Fuck that shit...I'm meeting my demise in a much less, oh, lay down and die kind of way.
If you don't want to do it, you won't. Sadly, that's a fact and nothing is this world will motivate you but you.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2006-04-14 21:09:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
keep smoking and die and leave your kids, theyll manage and understand.
tops.
nice uber poll.
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2006-04-14 20:20:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
If you can't find the will to stop yourself I won't help you. A policy thing, sorry.
Submitted by eppliks (user info) at 2006-04-14 19:51:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I just GOTTA put it up your butt one of these days. At least once.
Submitted by Ed_0150 (user info) at 2006-04-14 19:51:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Dont Quit, If your lungs are that fucked your going to die anyway. May aswell enjoy your last days.
Submitted by Freakmagnet (user info) at 2006-04-14 19:46:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Keep smoking, but everytime you finish one, put it out on your skin instead of an ash tray. Eventually you wont like them that much, or you'll have bigger problems.
Submitted by Kopesh (user info) at 2006-04-14 17:51:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought the Twins had CV, does your smoking help them breathe?
I've seen what emphasima does to a person and her family, my 17 year old cousin is watching his mother die, probably before his 18th birthday...
Do what you have to Circe... keep trying, if only to know what real good whiskey tastes like without sigaret-smoke.
say hi to the Dutchman for me...
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-04-14 16:05:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
get pregnant, than get an abortion in your 3rd trimester.
Repeat as necessary.
Submitted by fried-green-potatoes (user info) at 2006-04-14 15:15:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Get your worst enemy to bet that you can't quit for a year.
Then let one of your kids hold the wager.
You'll quit.
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-04-14 14:54:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i too have problems... http://www.ubersite.com/m/86655
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2006-04-14 14:49:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Darling pussy-master, guess what arrived to me in the mail a few days ago (god knows how), package all beat to hell and with illegible scrawling allover it, but with the contents in pristine condition? I'll give you a hint: it's got about 459 pages.
It's going back in the mail tomorrow to you. I've put a lovely giftie inside for you.
Submitted by ScottPeterson (user info) at 2006-04-14 14:42:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You are going to have to love Yourself enough to do this all on Your own.
Submitted by extacy_red (user info) at 2006-04-14 14:20:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
start smoking weed instead
Submitted by cuberat (user info) at 2006-04-14 13:24:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-04-14 09:50:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
Despite what a lot of smokers say, I don't think they fully realise just how much of a stupid choice they're making. For fuck's sake, the chances are that this is the only existence our souls are ever going to experience. We're among the luckiest beings in the world, possibly in the universe. To squander any part of this wonderful experience for such a goddamned idiotic reason isn't just silly, it's almost offensive.
===================================================================================================
Wow. If that doesn't at least motivate you...
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2006-04-14 13:19:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't bother to read all of the comments so if someone already said this, deal.
There are medications that react with chemical intake to make you physically sick, I know there's one for alcohol, but I'm not sure if there is one for nicotine, but the idea is, you take a pill, and every time you smoke, you throw up. Soon even the smell of cigarette smoke will trigger the aversion and make you feel ill (just like when you had those bad eggs/fish/shellfish and got food poisoning so whenever you smelled said eggs/fish/shellfish you wanted to hurl)
DEFINITELY talk to your doctor, they expect to get these questions and should have decent answers.
man, all this talk about smoking makes me want to... you know, go outside... for fresh air, nothing more I swear!
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2006-04-14 12:59:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i quit smoking in january, cold turkey.
but this post made me want to light up.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-04-14 12:57:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I was thinking oral fixation earlier but as a male, on uber...i didn't want to bring it up.
thanks satch
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-04-14 12:44:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hey when you die can i have one of your kids for a week in the commune?
Submitted by satchel (user info) at 2006-04-14 12:37:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
However you do it -- patches, cold turkey, lasers, hypnotism -- just have lots of things around to stuff in your mouth that aren't digestible. Half of the habit is the oral fixation. Actually, it's more like three quarters.
Submitted by mtgn37 (user info) at 2006-04-14 12:18:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
smoke.......
SMOKE!!!
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2006-04-14 12:15:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-04-14 12:10:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, I have no practical advice but I can say this; anyone who has gone through what you've gone through obviously has a will of iron. Because of this, I believe you can do whatever you put your mind to!
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-04-14 11:44:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-04-14 11:43:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
Baiseur tordu de mère
==
yes yes, as you can see...french is really the language of love
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-04-14 11:43:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Baiseur tordu de mère
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-04-14 11:36:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-04-14 11:01:56 (#)
Ranking: 0
Coming soon: Diary of a Nonsmoker. (probably just a series of .wav files in which I cry.)
------------------
AAAHAHHAHAAH!!
But seriously, you get no more advice from the answer man.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-04-14 11:35:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-04-14 11:24:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
Redressez qui est bien mieux. Mères idiotes. Je devrai la frapper un peu la fois prochaine que je la vois.
===
Je vois ma mère cette fin de semaine. Je ferai le message en la frappant moi-même. De toute façon, depuis quelques mois, j'ai des vieux souvenirs qui me reviennent. Je me rappel du vagin de maman quand nous prenions notre bain ensemble. Plus je tente de refouler ces images, plus elles sont intenses. C'est comme le plaisir de l'interdit, tu sais? Peut-être quand la battant jusqu'au coma et en mangeant son vagin ridé et sure, je parviendrai à exorciser ces images déplaisantes. Souhaites moi bonne chance!
Submitted by MonkeyingAround (user info) at 2006-04-14 11:34:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-04-14 11:32:14 (#)
Ranking: 0
take up dip.
seriously. chew moist snuff.
it will get you over the nicotine craving, and it's far too disgusting for you to do for an extended period of time, so you can ween off of it.
-----------------------
I had an uncle that dipped... it was gross he was always spitting into a cup and leaving it everywhere... it made me sick to my stomach...
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-04-14 11:32:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
take up dip.
seriously. chew moist snuff.
it will get you over the nicotine craving, and it's far too disgusting for you to do for an extended period of time, so you can ween off of it.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-14 11:31:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Think of the smoke on your lips and your eyes
Think of the death that your weakness has drawn
Think of your children and saying goodbye
Think of their faces when mommy is gone
Submitted by Durae (user info) at 2006-04-14 11:27:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Uh, this post made me want a cigarette. =/
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-04-14 11:24:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Redressez qui est bien mieux. Mères idiotes. Je devrai la frapper un peu la fois prochaine que je la vois.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-04-14 11:23:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-04-14 11:19:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
Je peux imaginer son choc à vous hurlant des mots de malédiction en anglais.
===
Actually, I was saying "Bite, plotte, bite, plotte, bite, plotte"
I just translated.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-04-14 11:21:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Spook - I DO. I hate every sweaty unattractive second of it, too, but I GO.
If they'd play decent music it'd be a lot better.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-04-14 11:19:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Je peux imaginer son choc à vous hurlant des mots de malédiction en anglais.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-04-14 11:19:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Go to the fucking gym.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-04-14 11:15:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks, thorpe - you are right, we tend to make a pack mentality out of it - "I'm not ok, you're not ok, we can't quit so let's not try again".
But I'm going to. Right? And .wav files of crying, ranting, and moaning in desperate addicted cravings will follow.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-04-14 11:15:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Caul - you are not invited to dinner unless you wash your hands...and your mouth"""
My mom once tried to wash my mouth with Comet cleanser because I was jumping on my bed saying "dick, pussy, dick, pussy, dick, pussy...etc" It didn't do any harm though.
Except that I've been slashing my wrists since then and having sex with mature men because of my early feeling of rejection with the opposite sex.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-04-14 11:14:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't really have much sympathy for addicts of any kind, smoke drink gamble inject toke if you want, but don't complain about it. If you want to stop, stop. When I was younger I quit drinking (forever) and sex (including going solo, 1 month) to proove my point. I'm willing to accept that smokling may be harder, but still people moaning about it annoys me, nobodys forcing you to do it.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-04-14 11:09:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
in NJ a smoker of 1 pack per day spends about 2k a year...that's like a fucking raise (ok more like a 2 month bonus but you get the idea)
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-04-14 11:07:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wasn't referring to the patches etc. at all - hey, if the stats say they work then I'm all for them. I was referring to the lack of seriousness/clarity with which it is treated - both by fellow 'in the same boat' smokers and by people who think quitting must be easy.
I'm going to go to bed before I tread on any more toes. I hope you do quit, Circe, if anything it will help your finances.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-04-14 11:05:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I smoked from 11 to 21 quit until 25 and have smoke up until about 3 months or so ago
that's roughly 15 years
add pot throughout ( i think its 1 joint = the same tar as 4 cigarettes)
I had to quit, I was spitting up small children every morning
Good luck Circe, you know how to get a hold of me...I'll be in your support network if you need it
Caul - you are not invited to dinner unless you wash your hands...and your mouth
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-04-14 11:02:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-04-14 10:59:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-04-14 10:51:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
But honestly, as a light smoker I take offense in your statement that smokers are stupid because their chipping away their life span with each cigarette they light. I agree, someone who smokes a pack a day or more is not exactly being wise but for some, smoking is a luxury...an unhealthy luxury like drinking, eating chocolate, taking drugs...etc
---------------------------
Not stupid - offensive. :P
===
I don't see how something that doesn't impact you offenses you.
You sound like an american.
Live and let live, komodo rapist.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-04-14 11:01:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You people rock. You really, really do.
Badass - 14 years I've been at it. It's time to stop.
Coming soon: Diary of a Nonsmoker. (probably just a series of .wav files in which I cry.)
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-04-14 11:00:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I agree that patches and gums and pills are shit. Who cares?! When you're done, you're done.
It takes about 2 days for the worse of the physical addiciton to disappear. It's really just a question of kicking an habit and finding something else to do with your hands...like sticking your fingers into a child's ass!
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-04-14 10:59:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-04-14 10:51:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
But honestly, as a light smoker I take offense in your statement that smokers are stupid because their chipping away their life span with each cigarette they light. I agree, someone who smokes a pack a day or more is not exactly being wise but for some, smoking is a luxury...an unhealthy luxury like drinking, eating chocolate, taking drugs...etc
---------------------------
Not stupid - offensive. :P
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-04-14 10:58:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
---an unhealthy luxury like drinking---
Caul, as a Canadian, you should know this isn't true. Drinking is NOT a luxury, it's a God given RIGHT, man...
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-04-14 10:53:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you are completely right there thorpe....the commercialism of smoking is ludicris. the inhalers, the patch, the gum, the pills...i mean quitting smoking is a mutlitmillion dollar business. And they are all only temporary fixes to the problem...money makers.
the only true way to quit is just that, to quit.
i did it once for 4.5 years and smoked one butt and I was right back on it.
now I'm a couple of months in...and in that time I was smoking I tried patches and gum and inhalers (no pills thank you) and none of it worked.
Think about the logic...you are trying to give up two things, nicotine and the habit...well the fucking patch continues to give you nicotine and does nothing to replace the habit. That's like saying 'hey man I'll get you off heroin by just giving you smaller doses over time'
and that is ignorant.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-04-14 10:51:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-04-14 10:25:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-04-14 10:25:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-04-14 10:19:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, you were right. It was a bit rich.
GONFLÉ, MUCH?!!
-------------
Hahahaha. Pas du tout!
I'm completely serious, I just don't have the language to pull it off without sounding pretentious.
-------------
Much like you, with everyday sentences.
===
Very funny, my child.
But honestly, as a light smoker I take offense in your statement that smokers are stupid because their chipping away their life span with each cigarette they light. I agree, someone who smokes a pack a day or more is not exactly being wise but for some, smoking is a luxury...an unhealthy luxury like drinking, eating chocolate, taking drugs...etc
Just about everything can shorten your life. Just going outside and breathing exhaust or going under the Australian sun is "deadly".
The key here is, as always, moderation. I could easily quit smoking but I really enjoy my 3-4 cigarettes a day and no amout of sermonizing from 14 years old is gonna change that.
Jeanne Calment who detains the world longevity record smoked a cigarette a day along with one piece of chocolate cake a day for 125 years!!! Take that you crocofucking quaker!
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-04-14 10:45:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-04-14 10:38:02 (#)
Ranking: 1
Although thorpe's philosophy sounds very romantic...I doubt very much that he has been in the the situation of 4 or 5 years of smoking, 9:30 am...boss calling...wife screaming...kids yelling...dog shitting....you've got 2 minutes to escape on your own and...light....inhale....ahhhhhh...now that's some good shit.
DOn't get me wrong thorpe old buddy, I like your idea but lets not make this situation seem too trivial...it is not and easy task to manage.
---------------------------
Triviality was not the intended impression but I get your point. I have no real authority to have an opinion this strong on the issue, except concern. What I am trying to get across is just how trivial most of the surrounding social paraphernalia is when it comes to quitting.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-04-14 10:38:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And I hate to do it, and I won't linkwhore, but won't someone as gifted as you read Afterlife?
I have Ghola hooked, which is nice, and if I cvan get you hooked, well then... I might just be a happy fat (but not for long) man.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-04-14 10:38:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Although thorpe's philosophy sounds very romantic...I doubt very much that he has been in the the situation of 4 or 5 years of smoking, 9:30 am...boss calling...wife screaming...kids yelling...dog shitting....you've got 2 minutes to escape on your own and...light....inhale....ahhhhhh...now that's some good shit.
DOn't get me wrong thorpe old buddy, I like your idea but lets not make this situation seem too trivial...it is not and easy task to manage.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-04-14 10:36:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Cir, glad I could make you laugh.
Now, find something else and laugh at that.
Then something else.
Then something else.
Soon, you'll be addicted to laughter.
You'll go to great lengths to find something that makes you crack a grin.
Normal things won't do it anymore.
You'll see a baby upchuck on her older brother, and you'll think that it was poorly executed and yell at the baby for not getting the right angle for optimum spash and effect.
Soon you'll find that avant-garde theatre is the only thing that brings a chuckle to your worn out soul, and this will depress you to the point of suicide.
So you'll off yourself, and then will no longer be a smoker, and you will be happy.
Dead, yeah. But dead and smiling!
Submitted by MonkeyingAround (user info) at 2006-04-14 10:35:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Smoking is horrid, my grandfather has been smoking since he was nine. It turns the walls in his house yellow, and he's had a heartattack from the smoking too... quadrupal bipass, and is still smoking, he quite for a month, hid it from the family for another three months until my cousin for the ciggs hidden in his truck then busted his secret at a family dinner. That was a shitty day.
If you can't do it for yourself, your kids, your husband, I don't know what it will take for you to quite. You will just have to actually truly want to quite, to do so. There is no advice that will change that.
Submitted by SiskelandFatboy (user info) at 2006-04-14 10:28:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Take a pin and puncture the cigarette about a half inch from the butt.
Then, smoke away.
No flavor, nothing. You will soon lose interest because the satisfaction of burning one down escapes and floats away right before it get to you. Watching it happen is quite frustrating to begin with but soon you will laugh at the irony of it all and smoking will become an avenue of self-amusement. Just not as harmful.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-04-14 10:25:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-04-14 10:25:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-04-14 10:19:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, you were right. It was a bit rich.
GONFLÉ, MUCH?!!
-------------
Hahahaha. Pas du tout!
I'm completely serious, I just don't have the language to pull it off without sounding pretentious.
-------------
Much like you, with everyday sentences.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-04-14 10:25:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-04-14 10:19:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, you were right. It was a bit rich.
GONFLÉ, MUCH?!!
-------------
Hahahaha. Pas du tout!
I'm completely serious, I just don't have the language to pull it off without sounding pretentious.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-14 10:23:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well it looks like everyone covered all the bases here.
Badass has the timeline down pretty well, except he left out the part about dreaming of smoking. Those are nice because they don't come for a couple months after and once they do you've been off long enough that you feel guilt in the dream for starting up again. I could taste the smoke in my dreams.
I quit cold turkey four years ago this June. The 9th. At about 20 minutes until 10 in the morning. After eleven years of a pack to a pack and a half a day.
I was watching a blind, mostly deaf, half crippled seventeen year old shih tzu take his morning piss.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-04-14 10:19:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-04-14 09:50:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
This is a bit rich coming from someone who has never suffered a physical addiction, but:
I think one of the biggest problems people face is the fact that "quitting smoking" has become a catchphrase, almost a part of popular culture, and as such has lost its meaning. There's a sense of collectivity - lots of other people are having trouble as well, and this normalizes it when you go back. I can't imagine there's the same 'black humour' mentality when each of those people are alone and terrified coughing up bile in a nursing home.
Despite what a lot of smokers say, I don't think they fully realise just how much of a stupid choice they're making. For fuck's sake, the chances are that this is the only existence our souls are ever going to experience. We're among the luckiest beings in the world, possibly in the universe. To squander any part of this wonderful experience for such a goddamned idiotic reason isn't just silly, it's almost offensive.
You're way better than this. From now I hope you stop viewing the cravings as unfortunate or overwhelming, and start viewing them for what they are - a threat to you, your friends and your family.
===
Yeah, you were right. It was a bit rich.
GONFLÉ, MUCH?!!
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-04-14 10:17:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-04-14 09:27:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate to break it too you hun, but if you don't REALLY WANT to quit then most likely you won't.
-------
Yeah I couldn't have said it better.
One day it sort of hit me that I was ready to quit and I did cold turkey. It's not to say there weren't 239084730734 moments I wanted a cig but I just, ah, "took it one day at a time" as they say. It sucks. They need to start making vitamin cigarettes or something.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-04-14 10:16:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I gave it up for a year because I didn't want to die.
Now I just don't care.
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2006-04-14 10:09:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.givingupsmoking.co.uk/images/tvads/anthonyhicks_40s.mpg
http://www.givingupsmoking.co.uk/images/tvads/janice.mpg
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2006-04-14 10:02:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Clearly you just need to keep being pregnant. I can help.
Have you tried the gum or patches, perhaps? I don't know how well they work, but they were popular when they came out and don't seem to have been removed from the market.
Submitted by congo (user info) at 2006-04-14 09:59:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Skate it off!
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-04-14 09:53:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
well, Circe...all kidding aside...
The only way you will be able to quit is when you are absolutely done with it...can't take the morning phlegm breakfast, the middle of the night coughing fits, the winded stair climbs.
The only thing that has worked for me is cold turkey...do it on a saturday morning when you will have some support. Smoke your last butt friday night, take the rest of you pack and run them under the kitchen faucet and just walk away. Have the Dutchman plan activities for that weekend and do whatever you can to get through the 2 days. Around midday on monday all the nicotine will be gone from your system and things will get easier.
For about a week and a half.
Then the 2 week 'i can have just one' thoughts come about...this is your real final test if you are serious about it. At that point you have to remember that 1 cig = many cigs...it's like an alcoholic trying to be a social drinker...it just doesn't work.
So none...I mean not even a butt.
And then its just random moments from there on out.
Good luck Circe, I hate to see people of seemingly strong minds cowering to the power of nicotine...you are strong...you can get past it...and fuck those cigarettes...who the fuck do they think they are anyway!
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-04-14 09:53:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WTF CIRCE?? YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT MY ADVICE?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-14 09:53:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I also wonder what your kids will say if they have to watch their mother trying to breathe through a tube while their father explains that this happened because "it was part of her routine." I don't think I could bear the shame of that.
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2006-04-14 09:52:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You just need to get to the point where you only smoke when you drink. I get really fidgitty when I drink, so this works for me.
As of late though, I'm starting to think the chest pains I'm getting after I smoke are a bad thing. I only have 1 heart and if I want another one, someone's gotta be not using it which involves their death, so that sucks. At least with lungs, someone can donate 1 to you and keep 1 for themselves, and you both trot off into the sunset happy.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-04-14 09:52:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you don't quit smoking I will make a flash animation of you, and it will be chock full of dancing penises.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-04-14 09:50:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is a bit rich coming from someone who has never suffered a physical addiction, but:
I think one of the biggest problems people face is the fact that "quitting smoking" has become a catchphrase, almost a part of popular culture, and as such has lost its meaning. There's a sense of collectivity - lots of other people are having trouble as well, and this normalizes it when you go back. I can't imagine there's the same 'black humour' mentality when each of those people are alone and terrified coughing up bile in a nursing home.
Despite what a lot of smokers say, I don't think they fully realise just how much of a stupid choice they're making. For fuck's sake, the chances are that this is the only existence our souls are ever going to experience. We're among the luckiest beings in the world, possibly in the universe. To squander any part of this wonderful experience for such a goddamned idiotic reason isn't just silly, it's almost offensive.
You're way better than this. From now I hope you stop viewing the cravings as unfortunate or overwhelming, and start viewing them for what they are - a threat to you, your friends and your family.
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2006-04-14 09:50:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Three reasons. Two girls and a boy.
You've watched two of your kids fighting for their lives, through no fault of their own, and yet you voluntarily throw your life away "because it tastes sooo good."
If that doesn't shame you into quitting, nothing will.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-14 09:44:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Whisky is fantastic. And as a non smoker I can taste every nuance, the hidden warmth and peaty aromas. While your whisky is sieved through an ashtray before you finally get near it. Don't worry though, mouth cancer means you can ingest liquids without that horrible 'tasting' thing.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-04-14 09:44:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WTF OMG! Why are you drinking at 9am????
Oh yeah... time zones.... nevermind.
hehe
I'd let you talk to my grammy about how much her emphazema sucked, but she's been dead for 10 years so that ain't gonna work
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-04-14 09:42:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Is this directed at Shlongy???
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-04-14 09:40:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Coyote, redskies, method... this is working. I can feel myself become ever more self loathing with every cigarette I smoke.
It does taste good with this rather nice whiskey though.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-14 09:38:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How about the damage you do to others around you? A vast load of guilt there about all the time you're taking from other people.
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-04-14 09:34:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How about, smoking is deeply unattractive and bad for your kids?
Or, suppose that doesn't motivate you, how about-- look at all these people saying smoke if you enjoy it... take a look at them, and think how good it's going to feel to be able to say you're better than they are when you quit.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-04-14 09:27:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate to break it too you hun, but if you don't REALLY WANT to quit then most likely you won't.
I plan on switching to something less addictive like cocaine to help curb my cravings when I quit.
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2006-04-14 09:27:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-04-14 09:20:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-04-14 09:18:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
thank you, it had been a while :-D
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-04-14 09:15:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought your title said "Average_Uberer" and it was a tribute post to me.
It wasn't though.
Damn.
I've been on that "last carton I'm going to smoke" lie for about...5 years. I have 2 aunts and my G-ma that died of Lung Cancer. But Cancer is for failures, and dying by cancer is for pussies, children, and fat people. Maybe not fat people, but they generally suck, so I threw them in that group as well. Also, if I was to find out that I was to die of emphazyma(I really wish I could spell sometimes)/lung cancer, I would simply go on a raping-of-supermodels spree, and commit suicide in a rugged, manly fasion. Because who wants to die slowly, wasting away with people around you pitying you? Damn that! Live fast, die fast. Plus, I hate old people, and if I was old, thusly, I would hate myself. How bad would that suck? And they smell like shit most of the time, mainly because they shit on themselves, so it is actually pretty self-explainatory. I don't want to sit around all day shitting my pants. That would be gross.
I think I may have got a little off course there, but my suggestion is: smoke 'em if you got 'em. If you enjoy it, do it. And when the consequences catch up to you (as they have a way of doing eventually) DEAL WITH IT.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-04-14 09:01:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.tobaccofreedom.org/issues/documents/cancer/cancer_images/bender.jpeg
http://www.medicdirect.co.uk/images/throat_cancer_large.jpg
http://www.lungusa.org/atf/cf/%7B7A8D42C2-FCCA-4604-8ADE-7F5D5E762256%7D/dirty_lung1_hr.jpg
http://dermatology.cdlib.org/111/case_reports/pemphigus/1.jpg
http://freehosting.tomaweb.com/QuitSmoking/images/tumor-neck.jpg
http://www.ash.org.uk/html/health/html/oral_files/image002.jpg
http://www.tobaccofacts.org/images/grosspostcard.jpg
http://www.maricopa.gov/public_health/tobacco/mouth/images/oral-surgery001.jpg
http://www.tobaccofacts.info/images/nasopharyngeal_mass.jpg
that enough for ya? I'm goin outside to have a smoke now
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2006-04-14 09:00:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because I feel your "wanting to quit" pain.
It's murder, isn't it? But those lovely little cigs do sooo improve the mood...
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-04-14 08:55:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
tell me what you think, bitch! http://www.ubersite.com/m/86624
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-04-14 08:54:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Smoking is great...I will never quit.
Hope that helps!
Submitted by MichelleNJ (user info) at 2006-04-14 08:50:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't really have any suggestions, since I really only smoke when I drink. But I thought this was funny:
---
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-04-14 08:44:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
Hypnotherapy.
Serious.
Take every cigarette you plan on smoking, hypnotize them into thinking that they are fish or something, and watch them swim away.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-04-14 08:50:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-04-14 08:46:42 (#)
Ranking: 0
unless of course you're "into" pain in which case you should email me sometime.
_________
*shifty eyes*
you email me.
*hides wedding ring in my pocket*
I don't know anyone with emphysema, but I've been in a respiratory ward. It made me feel sad for them that they couldn't have any more cigarettes.
Jay - hahahahahahaha
I like it
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-04-14 08:46:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
either that, or every timne you lite up, stab yourself in the face with a needle. pretty soon, you will associate cigarettes with pain and not like them. unless of course you're "into" pain in which case you should email me sometime.
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-04-14 08:45:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
go hang out with somebody that has emphasima(sp). it worked for me. make them laugh and when they start couphing and hacking and turning up their oxygen, you should be frightened enough to stop.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-04-14 08:44:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hypnotherapy.
Serious.
Take every cigarette you plan on smoking, hypnotize them into thinking that they are fish or something, and watch them swim away.