Uber, Assemble!!! (part 5) (1210 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: UberAssemble!!!
Rating: 1.95 on 69 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by kaos-king (antius777) (View user info) at 2006-04-14 13:07:36 EDT
UBER HEADQUARTERS...
The remaining Ubermen stood as ready as they could be around the room. Commander Rad gritted his teeth and took mental note. Ghola, TigerLily, Axolotl, Mockidol, Crystle, BRDN NKD, Thecaes and Munkeypants. Apollo, BigMike, and Phinch were dead. PolyAJ's severed head drained blood across the floor. Don't forget PolyAJ.
And now, somehow risen from the dead, Urbane Mischief stood before them surrounded by an army of Method's alters.
Fucking wonderful.
Without saying a word or looking away, Rad sent a questioning thought to his resident psionic. Thecaes answered back cryptically, saying that he thought the figure before them was Urbane, but he couldn't be sure. In any case, she was as shielded as the alters were from psionics.
Crystle started trembling. "Rage. All she has inside is rage," murmured the empath.
"Urbane, please!" screamed Munkeypants, "We were your friends once! Can't you remember that?"
The woman holding the razor whip just laughed.
"I don't think it is her," said Crystle. "Not all of her, at least. She's some kind of construct, some kind of super alter. All she is, is hate. I don't..."
Urbane's whip cracked out and caught the empath diagonally across the torso, blood spraying back onto the faces of Rad and Thecaes.
"No!" screamed the psionic diving for Crystle's body as it began to split open at the seam.
OUT IN THE WORLD...
Glall floated in meditation. He had been in conversation with the higher sources of power for some time, but they had been dancing around his questions. He had been unable to access his full mystical abilities for quite some time now and he wanted answers. As one of the world shamans, he felt it was his duty to stay one step ahead of those who would cause his global village harm.
He had been feeling tremors for hours in the astral plane, but had been at a loss to identify them. He had been contacted by an ancient, evil entity known as Shadow, who offered to aid him. Glall did not trust the creature and told it as much. Shadow asked him if he had any choice. The world shaman did not.
As he floated in meditation, Shadow appeared along with a material gateway for Glall to travel through. Glall landed on his feet gracefully, gathered up the few necessary items he would need and looked to the entity. It nodded. He stepped into the portal.
He was suddenly overcome by intense pain as his soul was slowly torn asunder.
"Why?" the world shaman asked as his existence ceased to be.
"You said yourself I could not be trusted," replied Shadow.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The jungle was humid. The jungle was always humid. Of course, the village on fire behind him didn't help.
He was a super soldier, created for combat back during the cold war. Now, he was mostly used for Black Ops. His code name was NerfHerder. He hated that code name.
He had seen more war torn scenes than the average individual. Then again, he wasn't average. But if he didn't have this, what was there for him in the world? He was tired, and there didn't see to be any end in sight.
He heard the discharge of laser fire but he didn't go in search of it. He heard the screams of the men under his command but he didn't move. He felt the beam slice through his waist, cutting him in half but he didn't fire back.
When DeathJester stood over him, he used his dying breath to say "Thank You."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Habeeb giggled. Thorpe did not.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
With the worst of the damage the flood could have cause averted, Simple Catalyst rested against the seat of a street bench. He could have definitely used some help on this mission. His power to rearrange the chemical make-up in matter had only worked so well in this situation. He had sent a distress signal to the Ubermen a while back, but McCallum had never replied. Perhaps once he had secured everything here, he should...
He never saw it coming.
Simple Catalyst dropped to the concrete screaming. The thin dagger hung from his left eye socket, blood pouring down his face. He tried to pull it out, tried to concentrate long enough to change the molecular structure of the small knife to water or something equally as harmless.
He didn't even feel the wire loop over his head. He did, however, feel it pull taunt around his neck.
After a few moments Caulaincourt dropped the body to the ground, sneered, and walked away.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
He had been genetically grown in a laboratory, the first of his kind. There had been some interesting side effects. He was stronger and faster than average humans. More intelligent, too.
That IQ, however, had not prevented him from falling into this trap.
Shlongy put another bullet into his kneecap. He held back a howl and bit the inside of his cheek until the iron rich taste of blood flowed into his mouth. He spat it at the mob boss.
The muscle, Nitty, brought a tire iron across his chest, knocking him and the chair he was tied to over.
"Just out of curiosity, dipshit, what exactly does HTBD stand for, huh?" asked Shlongy standing over the fallen hero.
"It's an acronym for the project the scientists ran that created me, cocksucker," replied the man laying on his back.
"And?"
"It stands for Had To Be Done," smiled the hero.
"Yeah, this does, too," said Shlongy putting two bullets in Had To Be Done's forehead.
UBER HEADQUARTERS...
Blood was everywhere. Mostly from the Ubermen.
The little ninja Ghola was chopping through as many alters as she could, the sociopathic Mockidol right behind her with his butcher knives. They were trying to clear a path for Axolotl to get outside. His job was to get the war machine Orgasmatron for back up.
Thecaes had swiped one of Rad's many guns and was blasting away. His psionics might be of no use in this battle but all that training with Phinch was paying off. Beside him, TigerLily's nuclear powered leg was running low on its charge but she continued to fire bursts of energy from her eyes.
Munkeypants had turned into an elephant and was currently stomping alters.
And at the front of the room, BRDN NKD and Rad had taken the fight to Urbane herself. Rad's enhanced red skin made him almost impervious to her razor whip. Almost. He dodged it and kept trying to strike home with his electric baton. His alien teammate teleported in and out around the former heroine, keeping her disoriented.
"BRDN, I have an idea!" screamed out Thecaes over the chaos.
The alien teleported beside the psionic, his fist suddenly in the "skull" of an alter. "What's that?"
"Can you get me in close to Urbane? Close enough to touch her?"
"I suppose," replied BRDN NKD, spin kicking another alter while wiggling the other off his hand. "Why do you want..."
"I think I can take her down telepathically with direct contact."
"Worth a shot," said the alien grabbing hold of Thecaes.
The two appeared behind her and Thecaes reached out and clamped his hands around the side of her head. With all the effort he had, with all the will in him, he sent out one giant psionic blast...
... and fell back screaming.
"Fuck!" yelled BRDN NKD, teleporting Thecaes out of the way as Urbane threw her whip around.
Commander Rad was beginning to lose hope. He had landed a few blows on Urbane, but he had to keep the alters off at the same time, too. She seemed immune to any form of mental attacks. And Axolotl was nowhere close enough to contact Orgasmatron. Every time he tried to shoot the bitch, an alter just jumped in front of the bullet. If only...
Hmmm...
"Munkeypants!" roared Rad.
The shapechanger soared overhead as a raven and landed beside him in the form of a young woman.
"Commander, I don't know how much more..." she said slicing through an alter with bear claws.
"How small can you transform?" he asked.
"Pretty small, why?"
"Small enough to get inside her head?" growled Rad.
"Wha... what?"
Rad just looked at her.
"But, sir..."
"Can. You. Do. It?" he bellowed.
Munkeypants nodded and Rad began his attack again with increased zeal. He ignored every strike of the razor whip and continued to press forward. He ignored the blows of the alters that rained down upon him and kept battling. Urbane Mischief was so busy defending herself, she did not notice the gnat fly into her nose.
Then she felt a little tickle.
Then her head exploded into the form of a rhino.
The alters began to dissipate without Urbane to control them. Munkeypants transformed back into her human self, covered in blood and stared at the body. She turned to Rad, who was also covered with the remains of Urbane's head.
Rad wiped the gore from his face and sighed. "Report," he said.
"Commander, you better come here," said Axolotl.
The surviving Ubermen surrounded the body of Thecaes who lay in the arms of TigerLily. His eyes had exploded, the jelly-like fluid running down his face mixed with blood. Somehow, he was still alive.
"Commander..." said Thecaes weakly.
"Save your strength, soldier," said Rad kneeling down.
"Listen to me," said the psionic. "Method... been killing off all the other heroes... no one left... all dead."
"Shush," said TigerLily, trying to soothe the dying man.
"All dead... big plan... " Thecaes coughed up blood, but smiled. "He forgot one... even... even he's scared of... scared of you know who..."
"I follow you 'Caes." said Rad.
"Been... been an honor, sir," said Thecaes as blood began to drain from his ears.
Then he didn't talk any more.
"Fuck," swore Rad.
OUT IN THE WORLD...
His name was T-Tom. Once he had been just an average monkey, born in captivity. Then he had been experimented on, his evolution excellerated to the omega point. For years he had been an adventurer, spending his days globe-trotting and saving the world from one dastardly no-good after another.
But he had grown bored with that life. One can only save the damsel and defuse the bomb so many times before it becomes stagnant. No, he was much more happy now working for Oxford, he told himself.
He adjusted his glasses as he walked across the greens of the University. Yes, here he was able to put his considerable intellect to a much better use. Granted, there were some days that were dreadfully dull, but overall...
It started as an itching on his skin. Then his back began to ache. Then he realized his dress pants were sliding off.
As he reached down to pull up his britches he saw his hands. Fur had started to sprout on their backs and his thumbs were shifting. He was reverting back to his original state.
T-Tom cried out in horror and tried to think of what to do, but already his mind was collapsing in on itself. "No, not this! Anything but this!" were his last cognitive thoughts.
Soon a little monkey sat admist a pile of clothing. Retrospect strolled up and offered it a banana.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
She ducked down the alley way and hid behind a dumpster. She lifted her arm up to inspect the damage. It was bad. Most of the circuitry was beyond her ability to repair by herself. She was going to have to get back to the Ministry and soon.
C1ndy tried again to activate her communicator, but it was still jammed. She lowered the antennae back into her shoulder and lifted herself off the ground. Peering around the dumpster, she saw nothing. Good.
She began to creep down the alley way, thinking of the faster way to return to the lab. Her pulse cannon was almost out of charges, but she still had enough left to take the bastard down should he pop up. Then she heard a little whistle and spun around.
Before C1ndy could even bring her weapon up, Sassmaster had rammed both his hands into the robotics up underneath her rib cage. He released a surge of electricity, frying all the circuits in the cyborg's body.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
They had been fighting for hours now. Every fist blocked, every kick countered. Hidden and Williamson were evenly matched. Neither one had any thought of backing down.
Then Hidden was riddled with bullets.
Williamson exploded. "How dare you, he was mine! Show yourself! Come out and..."
Then Williamson was riddled with bullets.
Ess-arr laughed as he put in the call to Method.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
He walked off stage and retrieved his towel to wipe the sweat off his face. He had put on a great performance tonight, as usual. The crowd had been eating it up. His illusions and holograms were world renown. And his manager had told him performing under the name "Red Skies Look Fake" would never work.
He never heard the gun, never even felt the bullet, actually. He just suddenly lost the use of his legs. Slipping to the ground, he reached out and realized there was blood seeping from his lower back. He had been shot in the spine. Someone stood over him.
"Why?" the illusionist choked out.
"Cleaning house," said Ajanssen. "Taking out all the heroes."
"But I'm a fucking Vegas performer!" cried Red Skies.
"Oh... Hey! Do you know Tom Jones?" the assassin asked, his eyes lighting up.
"Yeah... yes! Wha..."
"I hate Tom Jones," said Ajanssen putting two in Red Skies' head.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Stagger Lee cracked open another beer and watched Hilarity Ensues go into another series of convulsions on the floor. He had been psionically tweaking her pain synapses for the last half an hour. He was getting bored.
Suddenly she had a grand mal seizure and her head came down hard repeatedly on the edge of her coffee table, cracking her skull open. She stopped moving. Stagger Lee got down on all fours and looked inside at the exposed gray matter. He made a little sound of satisfaction and reached back for the rest of his beer.
UBER HEADQUARTERS...
"Nothing," said Axolotl throwing the computer interface across the room.
"There has GOT to be some people left!" exclaimed TigerLily.
"Well if there is, I can't raise them," replied the boy genius.
The Ubermen stood around the shattered, broken remains of the Compound and considered the ramifications of what Axolotl was saying. Method had orchestrated the greatest coordinated attack in the history of the meta human community. Almost the entire super hero alliance had been wiped out in a matter of hours.
"What the fuck are we gonna do Rad?" Mockidol asked.
"God damn it!" exploded Munkeypants. "Where the hell was Professor Bart-Bart? He's the world's most powerful psionic! Why wasn't he here? Why wasn't he helping? Why..."
"It's complicated..." tried Rad.
"Bullshit!" screamed Munkeypants. "Is he here in the complex or what? Is he? Can I fucking see him?"
"Well, yes... eh, I mean no," said BRDN NKD.
"WHAT IS GOING ON!!!" screeched the shapechanger.
The Ubermen exchanged glances and Rad sighed. "No one has spoken to him in months," he said. "He locked himself in his ready room and he's never come out. We know he's there because of the psionic field around the room, but other than that..."
"We don't know if... if he still, um... sane," said TigerLily.
"Jesus Christ," swore Munkeypants, her eyes wide. "and no one knows if... no one's tried to..."
"No one can get close enough. Not even other psionics," said Rad.
"Commander," spoke up Axolotl, "What did Thecaes mean by 'he forgot one,' and all that? Do you have any idea what he was talking about?"
"Yeah, he said someone that even Method was scared of. Who the hell was he talking about?" asked TigerLily.
Rad said nothing and stared at the body of the dead psionic.
"You don't think he meant..." started Ghola.
Rad nodded.
"No fucking way. He's not real," said Ghola.
"He's real," replied Rad quietly.
"Who?" asked Axolotl confused.
"The greatest warrior this planet has ever seen," said Rad.
"Bullshit," laughed Mockidol. "He's a myth. Something fighters and heroes tell each other about during training to get better."
"No, my friend. He's real. Rad and I have... well, we've met him," said BRDN NKD, refusing to make eye contact.
Ghola, Munkeypants, TigerLily and Mockidol were struck speechless. Only Axolotl looked around cluelessly.
"Who the hell are we talking about? What is going on?"
"Get together what supplies and weapons you need, Ubermen," said Commander Rad. "We're going to go find Bickerstaff."
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-09-13 15:35:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
best evar
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-04-22 18:01:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2006-04-19 22:44:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YAY I TOOK A SHOT TO THE FACE FROM SHLONGY!!!!!!
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-04-19 10:54:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sorry Ttom!
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2006-04-18 08:05:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-04-18 03:21:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love these!
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-04-17 21:29:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-04-17 14:22:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I died? Without avenging Big Mike? Can my empathetic powers resurface as some sort of helpful aura that helps Good Triumph?
eh - maybe not. This was awesome.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2006-04-17 14:11:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Kind of funny that you ended up making me, an alter myself, a good guy.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-04-17 12:17:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I whoop the llama's ass.
This series whoops the llama's ass.
beer whoops the llama's ass
Kaos whoops the llama's ass.
that's an awful lot of llama's with whooped asses.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2006-04-16 23:27:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I saved the day??
I rock!!
I also humbly await your next installment.
Submitted by extacy_red (user info) at 2006-04-15 23:40:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2006-04-15 19:40:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Awesome series.
But cut me in dammit.
---
you beat me to it.
i was about to pencil you in for death in a heroic fashion, mainly becuase you got me lurking about a year ago.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-15 23:24:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait, one question...
Why am I a villian, yet mockidol is a good guy? Something went astray there, I feel.
Submitted by ConorJS (user info) at 2006-04-15 22:00:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Habeeb giggled. Thorpe did not."
That and ...
"His code name was NerfHerder. He hated that code name."
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-15 21:39:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm going to read these all again right now. They're like the gift that keeps on giving.
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2006-04-15 20:24:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
did i die?
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2006-04-15 19:40:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Awesome series.
But cut me in dammit.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-15 11:23:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ajanssen offs me within three paras?
That lasted a long time guy.
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2006-04-15 09:21:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Can't stop reading em.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-04-15 08:31:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-04-15 07:33:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
uh oh.
I went and trashed a bunch of bickerstaff posts last week.
Submitted by Magic_Monkey (user info) at 2006-04-15 04:16:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know who Bikerstaff is ....but ! He/she sounds powerful !
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-04-15 01:37:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It would make my day if you somehow incorporated Jewtoast or Cabaretgirl in here.
And I think putting Squattail, Koolmang, Degreeless, and Fetish in here as rogue mercenaries or something, that don't take sides but wreak havoc nonetheless
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-04-15 01:25:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Alright Kaos, you used "Average" in this one 4 times, and not once in regards to me.
Is there any chance for a comeback?
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2006-04-15 01:13:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll take the blame, Method. I got my taxes back and had a few bucks to burn. Hells yeah.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-04-14 23:31:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nah, I didn't put it up there - I was going to, but someone beat me to it.
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2006-04-14 21:27:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
looks like Method was the one who put this on the board
Submitted by silent1 (user info) at 2006-04-14 18:32:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
These are absolutely great!
Submitted by Bickerstaff (user info) at 2006-04-14 18:27:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-04-14 18:04:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BICKERSTAFF!!!
HA!
Submitted by MonkeyingAround (user info) at 2006-04-14 17:46:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*pouts* I'm not special enough to be in the story...well neither is Cyst... I can kind of handle not being included.... *sulks in the corner*
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-04-14 17:32:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2006-04-14 17:08:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
Ghola and I working together huh.
I can't complain about that.
-------
:)
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2006-04-14 17:08:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ghola and I working together huh.
I can't complain about that.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-04-14 17:07:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good story telling.
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2006-04-14 16:47:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
meh. Not a big fan of ass-kissing.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2006-04-14 16:39:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2006-04-14 15:30:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed at the part where you say my soul was torn asunder. Everyone knows i've been a shell of a man since they took that clear Pepsi off the market.
-----------------------------
so how's that "ceasing to be" working out for ya?
Submitted by OneCheapGeek (user info) at 2006-04-14 15:57:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-04-14 13:36:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
I wonder if someone here would take the time and effort to animate these into a comic book one day. That would fucking rock.
If I could draw, that would be how I'd spend this weekend.
Submitted by OneCheapGeek (user info) at 2006-04-14 15:39:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hmmm....the title brings Voltron to mind....
Bickerstaff's power?
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2006-04-14 15:30:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed at the part where you say my soul was torn asunder. Everyone knows i've been a shell of a man since they took that clear Pepsi off the market.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2006-04-14 15:18:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha ha, awesome ending. I like a lot of your interpretations of user names into superpowers. It's really a clever idea, setting us as superheroes/villains.
Good damn job. Even if I died at the hands of Urbane.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2006-04-14 15:16:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm already dead, but you're welcome for the uberboarding.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2006-04-14 15:16:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bickerstaff... how to pull this off me wonders?
This is so involved, so much plot, so much story... so many Uberers!!!
The relation of powers to names/uber personalities, brilliant! Everything is so well coordinated!
i <3 u !
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2006-04-14 15:12:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The two appeared behind her and Thecaes reached out and clamped his hands around the side of Urbane's head.
... and fell back screaming.
************************************
Yup, that sounds about right.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2006-04-14 15:11:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"I think I can take her down telepathically with direct contact."
"Worth a shot," said the alien grabbing hold of Thecaes.
-------------------------
NOOOOOO, thecaes, you fool! NOT DIRECT CONTACT!!
...I don't like where this is going...
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-04-14 15:03:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Um...
I have no idea how this labelly thing was done or by who.
Nor am I aware of who put said labelly thing on the Uberboard.
In any case, thank you very much!!!
If I haven't already, I will write your death in the most bloody and graphic manner I possibly can.
*smiles*
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-04-14 15:01:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"We're going to go find Bickerstaff."
-------
It's too bad you couldn't fit a little .wav file at the end to go 'DUN DUN DUNNNNNN', because that would be wholly appropriate!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-14 14:43:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I must avenge simple_catalyst's death.
Or die of a coital overdose at the hands of the Orgasmatron.
Or get domestic violenced by my wifey ghola.
Or whatever.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-04-14 14:41:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The bad guys are gonna be busy killin each other off huh??
It better be gory.
I AIN'T GOIN OUT GIRLY STYLE DAMMIT!!!
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2006-04-14 14:40:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*just plain flashes*
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-04-14 14:38:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fuckin yea
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-14 14:35:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is my new favorite series.
I second Methods motion that someone turn this into a comic. MAKE IT SO.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-14 14:32:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YAY Bickerstaff!
This one had the best ending yet. Now to read the reviews.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-14 14:32:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Then she felt a little tickle.
Then her head exploded into the form of a rhino.
---
Something about it being a rhino makes my urethra buzz.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-04-14 14:25:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WHY THE FUCK YOUSE GOTTSA GETS ME KILLED BY TEH MOSTESTIS GHEY UBERVILLIAN???
*WEEPS*
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-04-14 14:24:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Uh, I think you forgot to write my name in there somewhere. I know, it was just a mistake. DON'T LET IT HAPPEN AGAIN. Mmmkay?
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-04-14 14:15:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/u/Method/l/ubermen
make labels for all of them
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-04-14 14:14:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Link the other parts of the series at the start next time, will you?
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-04-14 14:13:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You are the PWNERER!
Submitted by OneCheapGeek (user info) at 2006-04-14 14:12:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2006-04-14 14:07:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
$10 says you just made Shlongy's day with his part in this.
It sure made my day, dipshit.
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2006-04-14 14:10:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-04-14 13:35:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy fuck man, these just get better and better. I got douche chills at the very end.
I tip my hat to you. And thank you for some fine storytelling.
============================
Yup
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2006-04-14 14:07:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
$10 says you just made Shlongy's day with his part in this.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-14 13:53:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm a villian?
With psionic powers?
Jury's back, I love it.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2006-04-14 13:41:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hmmm... soul rending abilities, creative. I wouldn't have thought of that.
I feel kinda bad, rending souls and all... I ususally just kill 'em.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-04-14 13:40:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BICKERSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAF!!!!!!!
FUCKING SWEET! ISAAC WILL SAVE YOU ALL!
I'd say "us", but I'm already fucking dead...
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-14 13:38:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
so what, my part is over? damn you...
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-04-14 13:36:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wonder if someone here would take the time and effort to animate these into a comic book one day. That would fucking rock.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-04-14 13:35:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy fuck man, these just get better and better. I got douche chills at the very end.
I tip my hat to you. And thank you for some fine storytelling.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2006-04-14 13:30:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sweet! I'm an evil entity!!!
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-04-14 13:08:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Next chapter...
A little bit more death and a whole shit-ton of betrayal!!!