My Little Fighting Slave (632 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.16 on 7 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Sharps <joesephsharps.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2006-04-14 16:44:05 EDT
My soul moves a little bit closer to hell. It's probably destined to reach there sooner or later.
If you ever meet me, I'm a loyal friend, willing to go to great lengths for those close to me. I'll do what I can for those I've just met, also.
I am rather selfless when it comes to my dealings with others. Heck, when I meet a pretty lady nowadays, my penis doesn't even get a vote anymore- leading of course, to me not getting much action nowadays. Everyone to me is about the same, sex, creed or color.
Yet, I've realized I treat everyone well just so I can feel a little morally superior, not because of a heart of warmth and fuzziness. Mostly I want to do my good deed, have everyone leave me the hell alone, and walk away knowing I yet again that I helped someone who would probably cut me in line to buy a Twinkie to feed their fat faces.
Yeah, it's a great way to go through life.
But, this has nothing to do with my story, just a little background to my apathy.
My roommates also have similar ethical vagueness. We all drink a hefty amount, too. This in turn leads to some bad choices...especially combined with our love of gambling.
We will bet on dogs at the track. We bet on who's going to die in movies. Which drunken fat chick will end up in a crying, balling fit. We bet on which kid at the playground will end up crying first (throwing of rocks is now outlawed).
When you're over 25, what the hell is there to do?
I now own a slave. His name is Cinnsunatus, a good strong slave name. I chose when he eats, if he gets fresh water, and basically wiether he lives or die. He is one evil looking black and blue fighting fish.
I came home from work on Friday to be accosted by the female roommate on wiether or not we should get a cat. She and the other roommates were pretty tanked.
"Joe, we should get a cat," said FR (female roommate).
"Do you mean you want to get a cat, and would I mind?" I asked.
"Fuck no. I just want you to get a cat till I move out. I need something furry in my life." Replied FR, swilling her beer.
-This is a trap, boys and girls. I am not good with crazy insane logic and no beer in me.
"Is that why you don't shave your legs?" I asked. Dumbass.
There was a round of insults and evilness, followed by the how owning a pet was just slavery. Somehow this lead to a story how my old boss used to buy fighting fish at Walmart, fight them at his fraternity house, then return the dead fish for a full refund.
"Fuck yeah, let's fight some!" Screamed FR. I fucking love this girl.
5 beers later we are trying not to look too guilty while buying a bunch of fighting fish with no food or bowls at Petco. I made sure to buy mine first so I didn't get the evil look from the cashier.
At home the table was covered with beer and money for betting. In the center sat a giant glass bowl.
Lets just say that these fish are brutal in a fight.
...And I won twenty bucks...and have one battle scared little slave. My soul doesn't feel to dirty.
Where can you buy some full-grown rosters? Never mind, if the fucker won, I'd have to eat him..
On a side note: Shark versus Octopus
http://www.lookatentertainment.com/v/v-1638.htm
User Reviews
Submitted by MichelleNJ (user info) at 2006-04-18 09:36:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Lots of errors.
Submitted by hungovermondays (user info) at 2006-04-18 09:27:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I need to see more sharks smothered to death. It makes me feel safer swimming in the pool, or silver lake even
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-14 17:10:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Octopus PWNS
That video was pretty cool.
The post, meh.
Submitted by MonkeyingAround (user info) at 2006-04-14 17:06:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*confused stare* that was random
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2006-04-14 16:51:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Did you write this while drunk?
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-04-14 16:49:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
11 minutes and i'm out of work! then its across the street to the bar to have a beer or three!
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-04-14 16:48:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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