The Underdogs War- Part Two- Get me Danny Glover!!! (700 hits)
Category: GeneralLabels: Underdogs
Rating: 1.57 on 16 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by awesomeface (View user info) at 2006-04-14 18:27:54 EDT
http://www.ubersite.com/m/85938
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The Underdogs sat in my basement. A floorplan of the bastards headquarters was drawn out on an Etch-A-Sketch.
Viggo Mortensen was trying to look cool with his sword and while walking he knocked over the Etch-A-Sketch. I made Josh do it all over again.
"All right guys we have floor plans, hours of operation and plenty of explosives. I think we are ready to take these guys on." I said briefing the Underdogs.
"Only one problem." Said the Marine from the corner of the room whose name was Charles. "You guys aren't Military and you don't know the first rule of building take down."
"Then teach us." I said.
"Oh me? Oh I don't know how to do that. Im only apart of Marine Force Recon, the baddest mother fuckers in the Marine Corps. They don't teach us to take buildings."
"Dammit, we need more experienced men!" I yelled slamming my fist on the table messing up the Etch-A-Sketch. "Josh do that again!"
"Asshole." He mumbled. All of the sudden a explosion crashed through the wall. When everyone regained their footing 4 hooded figures stood in the hole in the wall.
"Did somebody say EXPERIENCE!" The lead one said.
"Who are you?" I asked.
"We are the NAVY DUCKS!!!"
"Navy DUCKS?"
"Yes the DUCKS. We operate on Domestic, Urban, Childlike and Kalm environments."
"But kalm is spelled with a C."
"The SEALS spell sea with an S and an E."
"Good point. You going to help us out?"
"Yes of course."
"You have a plan?"
"Yes. First we have Duck infiltrate via rooftop into the ventilation system. Duck you need to sneak into the back rooms and pry the back door open. Once the door is nudged open signal by quacking 3 times."
"He can't quack."
"What?"
"He can moo."
"Then moo 3 times, I don't care. The moo is the signal for Viggo, Orlando and Josh to storm in the back. Viggo and Orlando have your Lord of the Rings costumes so you look awesome. Josh I want you to carry this boombox and play that song they always play in the movie when they are kicking ass." The three nodded in agreement. "Marine, Police Man, Awesome_Face and guy who reads on Tuesdays. I want you two to go in and buy as many postal money orders as you can for one dollar to hold up the staff."
"Roger that." The corresponding players said.
"Now here is the difficult part. The Police will be called and they will arrive shortly after we start killing everyone. Cow and Cowboy I want you to stop anybody from entering the front door and hold off the entire Chicago Police Department, OK? Good."
"Hey, what the fuck?" Cowboy yelled.
"QUAAAACK!!!!!" Cow screamed.
"Wait so the cow quacks and the duck goes moo?"
"Yup." I nodded.
"Ok so does everyone know where they are supposed to be?" The lead Navy DUCK asked. The Underdogs all nodded. "Good...now let's roll."
Duck had his HALO (High Altitude Low Opening) jump gear on and jumped from the C-130 and landed on the Post office. While he was sneaking in the vents Charles the Marine, Police Man, Guy who reads on Tuesdays and Myself entered the front door and clogged up the line by buying a bunch of Money Orders. Plus I hit the ticket thingy about a hundred times so they called out numbers that nobody had. Cowboy and Cow blocked the front door with Cow's massive body. We heard three loud Moo's and Viggo, Orlando and Josh rushed through the back door with Lord of the Rings music blasting killing everyone. The Navy DUCKS headed straight to the head mans office. After the killing started Charles, Police Man, Tuesday reading man and myself threw our money orders in the air for distraction and began to beat down random people waiting in line.
The Post office workers were carrying M16's under their shirts and pulled them out. The Underdogs all jumped for Cover except for Viggo and Orlando because they can't get hit. Lead flew all over the Post Office as the bodies piled up. The Navy DUCKS were pinned down and needed help. I could see the lead Navy DUCK being shot at by the Predator. The NAVY DUCKS pulled off their hoods and they all had Arnold Schwarzeneggers face.
"I can't handle the Predator!" The lead Arnold Schwarzenegger yelled. "GET ME DANNY GLOVER!"
The wall suddenly exploded and in walked Danny Glover with a loaded shotgun.
"What you mother fuckers want?"
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To be continued...
User Reviews
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-17 18:59:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-17 18:55:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
This is some funny, ridiculous shit.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-04-15 19:46:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Snalty why the zero?
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2006-04-15 18:19:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Snalty (user info) at 2006-04-15 17:38:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
These are ridiculous....and funny. You should make a flash cartoon.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-04-15 14:58:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Kudos to PFC. Lewin-US Army on the Danny Glover Inspiration.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-04-15 14:48:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's awesome. I went from being fag to anonymous +2.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-04-15 14:45:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-04-15 14:44:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry man... I tried.
...but then I realized it was part 2, which means I'd have to read part 1.
Submitted by extacy_red (user info) at 2006-04-15 12:10:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
these are good
Submitted by secret_of_nimh (user info) at 2006-04-14 18:45:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I will go read the first one.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-04-14 18:44:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bah I posted after 5 again. Everyone went home.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-04-14 18:33:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh well. Go check out the first one.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-04-14 18:32:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ahhh! -2
Submitted by secret_of_nimh (user info) at 2006-04-14 18:31:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just cuz I fucked up your rating by accident, and because Etch-a-Sketch rules.
Submitted by secret_of_nimh (user info) at 2006-04-14 18:30:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by secret_of_nimh (user info) at 2006-04-14 18:29:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Did you get a boner while writing this?