My job interview. (823 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.5 on 25 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by IWalkOnPavement<im_such_a_jackass.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2006-04-15 12:59:04 EDT
I had a job interview today, I didn't think it would be too hard, its a fucking cinema, its not like you need a Masters is it?
But no. I didn't get the job.
I think it was because I was so put off by the woman who conducted it. I talked about this person in a previous post (http://www.ubersite.com/m/86590) We all know this woman, the manager who thinks that they are the life of the party. The kind of person who would describe themselves as 'wacky' and 'a child at heart'. As we all know, those people are rarely wacky or childlike, and are often fuckfaces.
She came bounding down the steps and said "Well, we're all a bit quiet aren't we? Rough night was it? I know how that feels!"
No one laughed.
We then were told that "I'm not that scary. They do call me The Dragon, but only the morning after!"
Do they? Do they really?
We then had to write on some posters titled 'What do you expect from the cinema as an employee?' 'What does the cinema expect from you as an employee?' and 'What do customers expect from employees?'
After every single word that was written, she would paraphrase, like a cock. For example:
Me: Respect?
Twat: Yes, respect is important in the workplace.
Someone else: Reliability?
Twat: Yes, reliability is important here.
Someone else: Punctuality?
Twat: I'm a twat.
Ok, I made that last one up.
I almost choked on my own tongue with laughter when one person suggested that one thing customers expect from the cinema was 'Films'. Well done retard, good one.
So, we were split into groups and given a list of professions, including things such as Nurse, Science Student, blonde actress etc. We were then told that we would be leaving planet earth to start a new civilisation, and the ship had room for us and 5 people from that list, and we should choose the 5 that we considered most useful. A simple thought experiment designed to test our teamwork and reasoning skills I imagine. This would be a good time to tell you that the groups were named after film stars. We were Camaron Diaz apparantly.
So, Team Diaz picked our 5 and figured out our reasoning, as did everyone else.
It seemed that people were taking it pretty seriously. One girl actually asked what the mission was, and if we were going into space or onto another planet, and if the other planet had plants on it. I swear to God she actually thought that she was applying to be an astronaut.
So, i didn't get the job, neither did any of Team Diaz. Which is strange, cos we were easily the best. No question.
I don't mind that really, I don't care. The worst part was that someone I went to school with was also at the interview, and he got to the second round. Yes, they did it in rounds. I think they were under the impression we were auditioning for Pop Idol.
I won't tell you his name, lets put it this way, he was the kid you all knew at school who used to try and eat paper. Nuff said I think.
User Reviews
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-04-17 13:05:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by IWalkOnPavement (user info) at 2006-04-17 12:01:59 (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not shitting you, thats exactly how it was. In fact, if anything i've played it down a little.
I worked at a supermarket for a while, and the interview there was much much worse, but we'll save that one for another time I think, its a potential post.
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I didn't think jobs like that actually had interviews, I thought that they just gave you the job and you kept it until you didn't show up.
Submitted by IWalkOnPavement (user info) at 2006-04-17 12:54:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thats now a very real concern for me.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-04-17 12:46:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You have to Americanize things here because our government won't let us out of the insane asylum that is the US. Just watch, we'll have you calling it "soccer" and spelling color without a U.
Submitted by IWalkOnPavement (user info) at 2006-04-17 12:03:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And yeah, its a movie theater, for all my American friends.
Submitted by IWalkOnPavement (user info) at 2006-04-17 12:01:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not shitting you, thats exactly how it was. In fact, if anything i've played it down a little.
I worked at a supermarket for a while, and the interview there was much much worse, but we'll save that one for another time I think, its a potential post.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-04-17 11:27:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You have got to be shitting me. Is cinema code for something or are we talking about a job at a movie theater? I would say that the main criteria for working at a movie theater is showing up. Someone's expectations are a tad bit high unless there is a 50% unemployment rate in your area.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-04-17 11:00:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nice. maybe they thought you were prone to fucking in the projection room.
Submitted by IWalkOnPavement (user info) at 2006-04-16 13:05:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
In fairness that was written just after I had checked the reviews for my first post. The first few weren't that friendly....
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-04-16 12:57:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
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Submitted by IWalkOnPavement (user info) at 2006-04-15 13:56:13 (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, i'm new. I'm hoping that the -2s will slowly subside as I post more stuff. Unless I actually really suck...
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What godamn -2s? you've only been here 5 mins you've got a better rating than me.
I suck though.
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/moreinfo.cgi?uber=IWalkOnPavement&cutoff=1
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-16 12:05:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Keep posting.
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2006-04-16 06:49:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was probably a +1, but it was the perfect post to go with a cup of morning coffee and a pack of chocolate digestives. So, +2.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-04-16 03:35:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2006-04-15 19:07:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Eh, +1
Submitted by IWalkOnPavement (user info) at 2006-04-15 18:15:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm more than happy to receive criticism, i'm not a writer, never done anything like it before so anything you say will help me out.
I'll bare it in mind for the next time I write anything.
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2006-04-15 18:00:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
One person suggested that one thing customers expect from the cinema was 'Films'. Well done retard, good one.
___________________
Well, the mental caliber of theater-workers does not need to be high.
Ironically, a true retard actually might get a job over you because if they didn't give it to him he could scream about how discrimination was afoot or some other nonsense.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-04-15 17:43:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i thought this was alright. it wasnt great, but youll get better.
If you care enough to get critiqued, you'll learn more from uber than you have ever learned in english class. My advice for now is dont do that "we were the best" shit. Tell us WHY you were the best.
Submitted by Zol (user info) at 2006-04-15 17:40:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
It is ridiculous.
Shit job = shit "casting"
Go somewhere else or kill em all
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-04-15 14:44:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck mine too.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-04-15 14:01:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Don't talk about it. Just post. The only reason I give -2's to noobs is if their post is really horrible, which is usually the case, or if they bring the fact that they're new to light. Otherwise it's a level playing ground.
P.S. FUCK.YOUR.TITS
Submitted by IWalkOnPavement (user info) at 2006-04-15 13:56:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, i'm new. I'm hoping that the -2s will slowly subside as I post more stuff. Unless I actually really suck...
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-04-15 13:54:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Job interviews are getting ridiculous nowadays.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-04-15 13:25:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahhh. I see you are new as well.
Im one of the nicer ones though. Just wait for Johnny X to get to this. (watch hes going to +2 this just to make me look stupid)
Submitted by IWalkOnPavement (user info) at 2006-04-15 13:18:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
See? I'm paying attention to advice and refining.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-04-15 13:15:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thought it was just another stupid rant. Made me laugh. Nice job.
Submitted by vexx (user info) at 2006-04-15 13:09:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Diggin' it. Sounds like a process just to rip a ticket stub.
To much cheese makes you gay.