Friends look after friends (787 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.22 on 30 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by georgemichael (View user info) at 2006-04-17 03:49:38 EDT
DAY 1 -3
'W...w...w...where am I ?'
Thought james to himself as he stared around the dark dank room. It had no light and he could barely make out the walls which felt like old brick but cold.
'It seems like I am in a dungeon of some sort'
the last thing jamse could remember was giving the envelope to the dirty cop. It was a bribe from his boss.
'look here boy you give this to the policeman and ya get the heck outta there quicksmart james don't wait for nothing and remember FRIENDS LOOK AFTER FRIENDS'
his boss had said. He always said that FRIENDS LOOK AFTER FRIENDS before he asked him to do his dirty work.
'OUCH'
james was trying to walk due north but his leg tripped up on something, he picked up what felt like a cold rock, as he turned it in his fingers he felt two holes and pointy bits... his eyes adjusted to the light. There was lights coming in the cracks, maybe the sun was coming up.
He squinted his eyes, what was he holding?
As his eyes adjusted to the light he realised... it was a human head, a dead human head.
James threw it away in disgust, he ripped the skin from his hands
'why do you do this what did I do to you people? '
he wept but is was no use. Would he ever get out? James stayed curled in a ball for the next 3 days crying - his mind going in and out of conscientious.
DAY 4
'HERE EAT'
the voice yelled,
James had been asleep, the door was just shutting but it left in enough light for james to look around, there were skeletons attched to chains, rats everywhere and mice and a bowl of piping hot food on the floor.
He ran for the food, picked up the bowl and was about to eat it when suddenly -
'don't eat that James, its poison'
James spun around, who said that?
'its me come close to the back wall, I am a scientist working for these bad men, I overheard them talking. In that food is a drug to make you tel the truth, in 5 minutes they will open the door to take you away, you must use the human bones to whack the men off and overpower them, lock them in the dungeon and then I can plan your escape with me'
'thanks'
said james, but can I trust you? He thought in secret to himself.
After 5 minutes the guard came back
'James you maggot' he called 'quick everyone he must be asleep lets get him now'
as they opened the door James drew back the human leg bone with all his might and WHACK whacked the guard with it over the head, the next guard came in squinting with the bad light, james went CRACK and got him with a human skull.
He turned and locked the door and ran down a long secret corridor and off to find the scientist.
'good work james now lets get you to safety'
'NO not so fast, who are you? Who do you work for? I am cold and hungry and your employer has kept me here... WHY?
James was very cranky, he held an arm bone over his head.
"I'll whack you with this in a minute'
'please' said the scientist 'there is no time - if they find us we will both be dead'
Dead? Thought James - this was seruious. He had a wife and kids, a great house and just one more payment on his car he couldn't die yet - after he made the last payment the car loan people would take the VEHICLE TRACKING DEVICE off his car and then he would own it outright.
'Okay lets go' 'BUT FIRST I NEED A BIG MAC AND YOU PAYIN!'
They made there way to the scientist car and drove very fast to where James was kidnapped, on the way the scientist told james the story.
'I see' said James 'they kept me hostage to get to my boss who I liked but you tell me he is a crook, your employers are the good guys in the CIA but they would have killed me today if my boss didn't give himself in'
'yes' - the scientist cut him off - 'but they are onto us, the only way you will see your wife again is you co-operate and turn in your boss'
'never' said james 'he won't trust anyone, never has and now I know why, the CIA is after him..... but maybe if I can......' James grinned
'I know what that big grin means - you thinking of plan aint ya James!' said the scientist
'I sure am...... I sure am'
DAY 5
After driving all night the arrived at James Bosses house, he quietly crept up to the front door, he saw a sign on the mat - friends look after friends -. 'ha ha'thought james,they sure do.....
'Boss quick its me James'
'boy you look like you been bucked off a Carnegie bull! Yes sir yes sir you do where have you been, ?' said his Boss
'look boss no time to explain you gotta know that I know the CIA are after you, I threw them off the track though, told them you are heading west in a stolen car, what you gotta do is take your car and head east and they won't find ya'
'darn it darn it James, gee.... Well ya did the right thing, the right thing alright, but eh they will know my car.... Lets see, maybe if I can borrow your car?'
the Boss said
Ha! Thought james he was falling into his trap, he WANTED the boss to take his car as it had the tracking system in it, then he could ring the CIA and they would get his boss and he would not be a hunted man.
'Well Boss I don't know.....'
'C'mon James!' the Boss pleaded 'after all, FRIENDS LOOK AFTER FRIENDS'
he grabbed the keys and raced off in James's car .
James picked up his cell phone and together he and the scientist rang the CIA and told them to track the car. Within minutes his boss had been caught.
They drove quitley up the street - they had been through a lot together.
They passed a CIA car with james's boss in it,
James leaned out the window and yelled 'FRIENDS LOOK AFTER FRIENDS BOSS'
Both he and the scientist laughed like mad men,
'they sure do James, they sure do' laughed the scientist
'look man can I drive you home or something' said James.
'yeah sure' said the scientist ''BUT FIRST I NEED A BIG MAC AND YOU PAYIN!'
They gave each a high five and that was the start of many adventures as they were made special CIA agents for doing a good job.
User Reviews
Submitted by paint_it_black (user info) at 2006-09-28 08:39:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W
Submitted by stok (user info) at 2006-08-28 07:04:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
seriously this was fucken hilarious
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2006-06-07 02:33:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i loved it
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-06-07 02:11:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
holy jesus this is the funniest thing I have ever read in my life
Submitted by Paul_Monroe (user info) at 2006-06-07 01:59:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-05-18 03:14:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
rything you ever wanted to know about georgemichael
User id: 26074
Registered on or around: 2006-03-24 05:29:58
# Messages posted: 24
# Reviews written: 561
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 960
# Hits: 13155
Average rating of all messages: -0.28
-----------------------------------
Everything you ever wanted to know about wijormiclat
User id: 4006
Registered on or around: 2003-12-02 16:55:37
# Messages posted: 10
# Reviews written: 717
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 237
# Hits: 8323
Average rating of all messages: 0.84
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Even with you -2ing everything I've ever written, I am still better than you, because you are a retarded, unintelligible, inbred hick that cannot express himself in the written form without warranting massive ridicule due to poor grammar and simple thoughts. PS I am 15+ beers deep into the night and the fact that I can recognize this is just a testament to the depth of your stupidity...
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-05-18 02:50:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by georgemichael (user info) at 2006-05-09 10:10:11 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by georgemichael (user info) at 2006-05-09 00:56:51 (#)
Ranking: -2
stop rating your own shitty gay alters echofag
---------------------------------
Echo and I are completely separate entities you fucking unintelligible faggot.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-04-20 19:13:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
They gave each a high five and that was the start of many adventures as they were made special CIA agents for doing a good job.
--
hahahahahahha
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-04-20 19:05:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-20 18:54:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by georgemichael (user info) at 2006-04-19 06:06:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
thanks fartman - i appreciate it
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2006-04-18 13:44:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Stunning.
Submitted by georgemichael (user info) at 2006-04-18 01:13:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
does this mean you are not coming to visit any more stagger lee?
Submitted by unknown9 (user info) at 2006-04-17 23:43:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-17 23:33:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by georgemichael (user info) at 2006-04-17 22:00:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sorry but i can't accept a -2 off someone called 'doodles'
Serious Melvin, can I add you to my myfriends list?
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-17 19:41:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/18685 georgemicheal is that dudes alter I swear to god just go read his post.
Submitted by Serious_Melvin (user info) at 2006-04-17 19:12:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My honest-to-God guess is that this is Method's retaliation against Razor's call for more fiction on uber. But whatever the real reason for these stories, I don't want them to stop. They're actually really fun to read.
Submitted by Serious_Melvin (user info) at 2006-04-17 19:10:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was excellent!
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2006-04-17 17:01:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
The taste of taint in his mouth, he cringes, licks his lips. As he stands up, his knees crack and the pop draws the attention of MArk who is half asleep with orgasmic exhaustion. His head turns, and Mark rolls his eyes up to Pete, standing naked over him, his penis hanging, swinging like the pendulum of father time. With a cough, Mark clears his throught and says:
"-2, Die"
Submitted by Neener (user info) at 2006-04-17 14:21:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by MichelleNJ (user info) at 2006-04-17 13:11:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
The lack of capitalization annoyed me.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-04-17 12:56:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Son, I know 'whom killed him and why'.
I've read 'whom killed him and why'.
And 'BUT FIRST I NEED A BIG MAC AND YOU PAYIN!' is no 'whom killed him and why'.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-04-17 09:49:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
''BUT FIRST I NEED A BIG MAC AND YOU PAYIN!'
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-03-29 21:56:29 (#)
Ranking: 0
CAPS LOCK IS AUTO PILOT FOR COOOOOOOOOOOL
Submitted by congo (user info) at 2006-04-17 09:47:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-04-17 09:29:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i can't make myself muck through this shit.
no regard for formating.
i'm sorry.
Submitted by tarnation (user info) at 2006-04-17 06:55:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
They gave each a high five and that was the start of many adventures as they were made special CIA agents for doing a good job.
Submitted by georgemichael (user info) at 2006-04-17 06:38:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
a few of my myspace friends have said they would be hppy to edit and package my short stories.
I know most of you make fun of me, but i have a good time writing and thats what this site is all about, also i do take comments on board and have changed some of my writing styles.
thanks
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-04-17 06:10:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
George, seriously? You can't be turning out this many great stories without an agent? Are you close to publishing a book soon? I'd sure like to know when that might be and what that might be called. I'd buy a copy.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-04-17 03:51:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Still shitty and entertainingly bad, shitty alter.