Bukkake to become a form of sexual assault in Connecticut(SFW) (4514 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dirty HumorRating: 0.88 on 42 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Doodles (View user info) at 2006-04-17 16:52:44 EDT
http://www.courant.com/news/local/hc-legis0412.artapr12,0,1845388.story?coll=hc-headlines-home
Outraged by an incident in a University of Connecticut dormitory, the state Senate voted unanimously Tuesday to change the definition of sexual assault to include cases without direct physical contact.
Lawmakers were responding to the case of three UConn students accused of ejaculating onto a female student's face as she slept in a dormitory in September. The three men, who no longer attend the university, were charged with disorderly conduct and public indecency, but could not be charged with sexual assault under state law.
Alright, now I don't know what you all think of that, but I'm finding it pretty fucking funny that three guys could have a circle jerk onto a woman's face and not be charged with sexual assault. Just think of what this could mean people, any time that slutty bitch you work with, that gets off on making your job hell, pisses you off, all you have to do is whip it out and start jerking. I guarantee she won't bother you anymore after you blew a load on her. I really am about to go look up Tennessee's definition of sexual assault, and pending outcome, having a circle jerk party on my neighbor, fucking snobby bitch that she is, this summer. Who's in?
"This may actually force potential, as well as existing, sexual predators to understand that ejaculating on a person's face is not in fact funny, normal, or an act that can easily be dismissed by a misdemeanor," said the victim.
What the fuck do you mean is not funny? I find it fucking hilarious. Jesus fucking Christ woman can't you take a fucking joke? You know you wouldn't have gotten bukkaked on if you had just fucked him, it's your own damn fault. Furthermore, it IS an act that can easily be dismissed by a misdemeanor, as stated earlier in the article, silly whore; you're contradicting yourself.
The article then goes on to say that she thought that she had 'drooled' on herself, and only found out that is was cum when she got an e-mail. Well, what the hell? Damn I've drooled on myself before, and I've seen dried cum, the two aren't alike at all. Really to spend the night in a guy's dorm room, and fall asleep early, is fucking ASKING for trouble.
Lastly, according to FilthyAssistant, there was a study done a few years ago that suggested semen had anti-depressant properties. Women who habitually got doused in cum were statistically happier than those who always used condoms. So she should be happy with the loads of anti-depressant she got.
User Reviews
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2006-11-21 22:51:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-04-22 00:27:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-17 17:07:05 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-04-17 16:57:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
What in holy fuck could possibly be going on in your head to think that you and a couple of buds would run and jerk off on someone's face?
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I don't know. My theory was that Beeb, Cyst, and FT did it. Then I realized that Beeb could never get into college, Cyst would have killed her first, and Fat Tony is to fat, lazy, stupid, greasy, ugly, and Mexican to get someone of the female sex into his apartment. Ad none of the above live in Connecticut.
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FUCKING LIE! I GO TO SCHOOL IN VIRGINIA BUT I AN FROM CT! FAIRFIELD COUNTY MUTHAFUCK! I'm awesome. Write that down.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-19 20:43:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by georgemichael (user info) at 2006-04-19 20:22:30 (#)
Ranking: -2
This is what you typed
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Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-17 16:53:24 (#)
Ranking: 0
Another poorly written post that could have been funny by me.
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This is what everyone heard
BLAH BLAH ?BLA?H BLAH BLAH I"M A DOODLES BLAH BLAH BLAH
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Someone a bit sore at being exposed? Hmmm? It's ok georgie I still want to have you're babies.
Submitted by georgemichael (user info) at 2006-04-19 20:22:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This is what you typed
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Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-17 16:53:24 (#)
Ranking: 0
Another poorly written post that could have been funny by me.
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This is what everyone heard
BLAH BLAH ?BLA?H BLAH BLAH I"M A DOODLES BLAH BLAH BLAH
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-19 20:09:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Webered (user info) at 2006-04-19 16:47:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
I really am about to go look up Tennessee's definition of sexual assault, and pending outcome, having a circle jerk party on my neighbor, fucking snobby bitch that she is, this summer. Who's in?
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Put me down.
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Alright me and you it is then.
Submitted by Webered (user info) at 2006-04-19 16:47:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I really am about to go look up Tennessee's definition of sexual assault, and pending outcome, having a circle jerk party on my neighbor, fucking snobby bitch that she is, this summer. Who's in?
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Put me down.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-19 07:41:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by legallady (user info) at 2006-04-18 22:06:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn...you snooze you loose.
I prefer my bukkake experiences
while I am awake!!!
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Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-04-18 23:49:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
Legal, thank you for making me throw out my elbow.
Now I won't be able to see my escort tomorrow.
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Hahahahaha
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-04-18 23:49:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Legal, thank you for making me throw out my elbow.
Now I won't be able to see my escort tomorrow.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-04-18 23:33:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You have bukkake in the title, this will get over 2000.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-18 23:22:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
17 more hits, I want one of my post to break 1,000 hits. Come on.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-18 22:25:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by legallady (user info) at 2006-04-18 22:06:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn...you snooze you loose.
I prefer my bukkake experiences
while I am awake!!!
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Somthing I'd like cleared up, doesn't it feel funny to have somthing hot and sticky shoot into your face? I mean it's hard for me to get my face under the shower with the water spraying into it and such.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-04-18 22:17:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"This may actually force potential, as well as existing, sexual predators to understand that ejaculating on a person's face is not in fact funny, normal, or an act that can easily be dismissed by a misdemeanor," said the victim.
What the fuck do you mean is not funny? I find it fucking hilarious. Jesus fucking Christ woman can't you take a fucking joke?
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-04-18 22:06:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Fuck all, I think i's funny.
Submitted by legallady (user info) at 2006-04-18 22:06:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn...you snooze you loose.
I prefer my bukkake experiences
while I am awake!!!
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-18 21:51:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2006-04-18 15:58:38 (#)
Ranking: 1
"This may actually force potential, as well as existing, sexual predators to understand that ejaculating on a person's face is not in fact funny, normal, or an act that can easily be dismissed by a misdemeanor," said the victim.
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I don't know why that line made me laugh like an idiot.
As far as your "jerk at work" theory, that wouldn't quite work in reality. Sure, it wouldn't count as assault, but in the corporate environment that would most certainly qualify as "sexual harassment." Hell, just saying something in a certain tone could get you fired.
So we can only dream...
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And what a dream it is. God why is it that everyone leaves at night? It's the only time I can get on Uber.
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2006-04-18 15:58:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"This may actually force potential, as well as existing, sexual predators to understand that ejaculating on a person's face is not in fact funny, normal, or an act that can easily be dismissed by a misdemeanor," said the victim.
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I don't know why that line made me laugh like an idiot.
As far as your "jerk at work" theory, that wouldn't quite work in reality. Sure, it wouldn't count as assault, but in the corporate environment that would most certainly qualify as "sexual harassment." Hell, just saying something in a certain tone could get you fired.
So we can only dream...
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2006-04-18 15:36:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-17 20:46:09 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2006-04-17 20:39:17 (#)
Ranking: 0
out of 17 responses, you're responsible for 10. Between the hitwhore title and the conversation you seem to be having with yourself, I'm sure you'll make most heated in no time.
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If I honestly gave a rats ass about most heated then I would have made a much more hitwhoring title like 'Cum on her face' made it a camwhore and spamemd the post every fucking minute, I'm just bored out of my mind and waiting for another good post.
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Welcome to the family.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-18 07:29:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-18 03:25:43 (#)
Ranking: 0
so like are you saying this is a good thing or a bad thing?
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No, this isn't a good thing, I'm just saying it's funny that they can't charge them with sexual assult.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-18 03:25:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
so like are you saying this is a good thing or a bad thing?
Submitted by fluff (user info) at 2006-04-18 03:13:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-04-17 16:57:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
What in holy fuck could possibly be going on in your head to think that you and a couple of buds would run and jerk off on someone's face?
If she had any pride and/or brothers this would no longer be possible for the gentlemen involved.
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And it seems there are people that actually believe it's funny. They really think it's funny. I don't get it. I'd have castrated, poled and quartered those assholes.
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2006-04-18 01:07:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think it should be considered sexual assault, mainly because: a.)it was sexual, and b.) it was non-consensual. Add to that the risk of catching AIDS or other STDs if that shit got in her eyes or mouth. If spitting on someone can get you charged with assault, splattering your cum on an unwilling or underaged person should definitely be considered an even worse offense. Bukkake in porn movies is in a different league since it is consensual.
Submitted by Kent_Weirdo (user info) at 2006-04-17 23:47:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This reminds me of a similar (and much funnier) case that took place earlier in this decade:
A man lured two girls, 15 and 16 years of age, into his house to "test a new skin-cream" that he had invented himself.
The man had them sit on his couch with blindfolds over their faces. The "victims" said that all they could hear while sitting on the couch were these faint slapping noises, as the guy repeatedly warned them "just wait, it's coming." After they were creamed on their faces, they could hear a flashbulb from a camera. Apparently, the guy intended to sell the pictures.
Now, he couldn't be charged with sexual assault, because he never actually touched the girls, and he couldn't be charged with indecent exposure, because the girls were blindfolded. In the end, all they could do was charge him with some kind of false product charge.
Does anyone tell their children about going into stranger's homes these days? If I ran into that guy, I'd high-five him.
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-04-17 22:40:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
stop bitching about not getting attention. unless you're into...
http://www.ubersite.com/m/86698
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-17 20:46:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2006-04-17 20:39:17 (#)
Ranking: 0
out of 17 responses, you're responsible for 10. Between the hitwhore title and the conversation you seem to be having with yourself, I'm sure you'll make most heated in no time.
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If I honestly gave a rats ass about most heated then I would have made a much more hitwhoring title like 'Cum on her face' made it a camwhore and spamemd the post every fucking minute, I'm just bored out of my mind and waiting for another good post.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2006-04-17 20:39:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
out of 17 responses, you're responsible for 10. Between the hitwhore title and the conversation you seem to be having with yourself, I'm sure you'll make most heated in no time.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-17 20:15:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh and Filthy I forgot to mention if you ever need some anti-depressant semen I have two testicles that live to make women happy.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-17 20:04:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2006-04-17 19:40:15 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-04-17 17:12:36 (#)
Ranking: 0
girls don't like waking up with cum on their face if they didn't give them permission in the first place.
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Well, you say that but at least she gets to peel it off. It's like infant school where you would spread paste on your palm, flap your hand around until it dried and then try to peel it off in one big sheet. Everyone loves that.
And FYI doodles, anytime you incorporate something I've said into your argument, you're on shaky ground - I'm a pathological liar.
Are you named after the tweenies dog?
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No idea really, its just somthing my mom called me when I was little, and I can't come up with names for shit so Doodles it was.
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2006-04-17 19:40:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-04-17 17:12:36 (#)
Ranking: 0
girls don't like waking up with cum on their face if they didn't give them permission in the first place.
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Well, you say that but at least she gets to peel it off. It's like infant school where you would spread paste on your palm, flap your hand around until it dried and then try to peel it off in one big sheet. Everyone loves that.
And FYI doodles, anytime you incorporate something I've said into your argument, you're on shaky ground - I'm a pathological liar.
Are you named after the tweenies dog?
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-17 19:21:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-04-17 19:05:38 (#)
Ranking: 1
I know how you feel, sucks being ignored :(
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Well this is my first semiinteresting(sp?) post and it has a hitwhoring title yet no reviews.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-04-17 19:05:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I know how you feel, sucks being ignored :(
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-17 18:56:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Damn where is everybody?
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-17 17:31:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
More random sex related articles:
Alabama man sues over sex-for-pay claim at Hooters restaurant
http://www.timesdaily.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060414/APN/604140841&cachetime=5
Mom: I took money for daughters' sex acts
http://www.poughkeepsiejournal.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060414/NEWS05/604140337/1009
Canada Post rejects topless stamps.... silly Canadians atleast they're not all gay like ours is.
http://www.winnipegsun.com/News/Canada/2006/04/17/1537169-sun.html
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-17 17:24:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2006-04-17 17:20:45 (#)
Ranking: 2
This made me laugh.
Of course, it's not bukkake that's illegal per se, it's just bukkaking a woman who doesn't want you to.
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From what I understand it's still not sexual assult having only been passed by the senate.
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2006-04-17 17:20:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This made me laugh.
Of course, it's not bukkake that's illegal per se, it's just bukkaking a woman who doesn't want you to.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-17 17:17:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-04-17 17:12:36 (#)
Ranking: 0
girls don't like waking up with cum on their face if they didn't give them permission in the first place. it should be sexual assault, if we got off peeing on you while you were unconscious wouldn't you be pissed off? on... whatever. so don't jerk unless you have a kleenex ready
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Somthing I've always wanted to ask you, how does one go about getting a job like yours? I mean do they have ads in the paper or online or what? I'm thinking that working anywhere in the porn industry (with the exception of being a fluffer, submissive, or transvestite in a movie) would kick ass.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-04-17 17:12:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
girls don't like waking up with cum on their face if they didn't give them permission in the first place. it should be sexual assault, if we got off peeing on you while you were unconscious wouldn't you be pissed off? on... whatever. so don't jerk unless you have a kleenex ready.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-17 17:08:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by platonicchic (user info) at 2006-04-17 16:58:37 (#)
Ranking: -2
Dude! You would so not find this BS funny if that was your Mom!!
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Dude! You are so a shitty alter!!
Besides closer kin, deeper in I always say </sarcasm>
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-17 17:07:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-04-17 16:57:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
What in holy fuck could possibly be going on in your head to think that you and a couple of buds would run and jerk off on someone's face?
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I don't know. My theory was that Beeb, Cyst, and FT did it. Then I realized that Beeb could never get into college, Cyst would have killed her first, and Fat Tony is to fat, lazy, stupid, greasy, ugly, and Mexican to get someone of the female sex into his apartment. Ad none of the above live in Connecticut.
Submitted by platonicchic (user info) at 2006-04-17 16:58:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Dude! You would so not find this BS funny if that was your Mom!!
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2006-04-17 16:57:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-04-17 16:57:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What in holy fuck could possibly be going on in your head to think that you and a couple of buds would run and jerk off on someone's face?
If she had any pride and/or brothers this would no longer be possible for the gentlemen involved.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-17 16:53:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Another poorly written post that could have been funny by me.