The Bolus (1389 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: Disgusting
Rating: 1.97 on 51 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Jack McCallum (View user info) at 2006-04-17 18:52:31 EDT
The Bolus
I was in the emergency room at San Francisco General, working my usual eleven to seven night shift, when the big guy in the purple shirt came through the sliding doors.
I'm no doctor, I'll tell you that straight up. I'm not even an orderly. I never touch the patients. I just clean up after them. I push a broom and pass a mop and empty wastebaskets for a living, and then go home and drink soda and eat Kraft dinner and try and write stories that aren't so hot, but the writing makes me feel better, better than beer or pot or meth or any of the shit I done. One of the Docs says that the more you read the more you can write, like it's a free education, so I'm reading books now too, which I never done before
I work with two black guys and a revolving crew of Mexicans. I don't have much education, but you don't need one in this job. What do you need is a strong stomach, cause pretty much anything that can come out of the human body is gonna end up on your mop at some point.
Anyhow, about this guy. He comes through the door as I'm wiping up some spilled coffee, and when I see his face I gotta look away quick cause he's looking right at me with that look I've seen before, that look that says please make the hurting stop. Sometimes they latch onto you, you know, wanting the pain gone, and all I got is a mop, so I can't do shit. So I look away and keep up cleaning the spilled coffee.
The woman who spilled the coffee was holding a wadded washcloth over a split cheek, telling everyone who'd listen that she fell. Yeah, sure, she fell. Like hell. I've delivered a few hits like that in my time. You smack somebody in the side of the mouth hard enough their teeth come right through their cheek, tearing open the skin like broken glass through a paper bag.
So it's the usual noise and fuss in the big open waiting area. There's people who got in real accidents all bloody and messed up and there's an old Asian gramma yelling at the man and woman who brought her in and gesturing at one foot that's swelled up like a balloon and there's dumbass gangbanger cholos and niggers with cuts and bruises and a gunshot or two and there's a Latino over in one corner wearing clothes covered in plaster dust and cradling an arm wrapped a well made red-stained bandage and there's a nice white couple holding a little kid with the sniffles and looking around like they aren't even on planet Earth anymore, and the nurses and interns are running themselves ragged, including Doc Solich, the young guy who gives me real interesting books to read and encourages me to write stories, and into all this comes the guy in the purple shirt.
I never seen a look of pain like that before, and I seen a lot of pain. I seen people with crushed hands and feet and burned off faces and dead babies in their arms and none of what their faces showed came close to the expression of the man in the purple shirt.
So I looked away, and a bit later I look up and the guy is still there, and I wonder if I should get a wheelchair and stick it under him when he takes a small step, real small and careful, and whispers.
"Help."
The guy looks to be in good shape aside from a christing big gut. No blood or burns, he's standing up okay, just moving real slow, and whispering.
"Hurts... help... please."
An orderly sees the man in the purple shirt and gestures to a wheelchair and the big man shakes his head real slow.
His face is red going on purple, and his eyes are bloodshot like he has the father of all headaches. He takes another tiny, slow step and I wonder if he has one of them hernias where it hurts to move or sit down or even raise your voice.
I looked around and spotted Doc Solich stepping through the curtain around one of the examination tables. I ran over and peeked through the curtain and saw that he was snapping on a glove and getting ready to maybe sink his entire arm into the twat of some real fat broad, so I tapped him on the shoulder just once.
"Sorry, Doc," I said. "I hate like hell to bug you but there's a guy out front, looks bad. Real bad."
The Doc looked at the fat broad who was lying back and humming some sort of song to herself and then stepped outside the curtain.
"God damn it, Puttkamer, this better be good."
I pointed out the man in the purple shirt, now about three paces beyond the sliding doors.
"Shit," Solich said. He raised a hand and snapped his finger a couple few times, getting the attention of an RN and an orderly. The orderly was Davis, a decent black kid who was real proud cause he just bought a new car.
I looked at the man in the purple shirt, and saw his face getting dark like a bad bruise. "Think he got a rupture?"
The Doc shook his head. "I think that man is seconds away from a myocardial infar— from a heart attack."
Solich and the nurse and the orderly all closed in on the big man in the purple shirt.
They were trying to talk the guy into a wheelchair and he was shaking his head and gesturing, and then Solich took one arm and the orderly took another and they all started a quick trot for one of the private examination areas, finding an empty one in a far corner.
I could see them easing the big man onto a table as the orderly pulled the curtains shut. I could also see the man's eyes widening as he started to lay back, like every movement was just too much to take.
The RN poked out her head and gestured for me to come over. I double-timed it. Elizabeth Pak may have looked like some kind of little Asian fuck toy, but he could be real nasty and seemed to get off on filing the kind of complaints that could get a man fired, so all the orderlies and the guys on my cleaning crew did whatever she needed.
"This examination area is a disgrace," Nurse Pak said. "Can you clean up? Can you be quick and unobtrusive?"
I nodded, wondering what the hell that last word meant. Hell, I had to look it up in the dictionary just to spell it out correct here in this story.
I wheeled my cart with its cleaning supplies and garbage bin over to the curtained area and slipped in the other side. We all put on surgical masks. I emptied two wastebaskets and was reaching for the third when the Doc asked me to bag the big man's personal stuff.
So as they took off his shoes and socks and cut off his shirt and pants and underdrawers, I bagged all of it.
The man who had been in the purple shirt was lying there just naked as hell. His gut was huge, big and round, and it didn't match the rest of his tall, slim body at all. His cock and balls were shriveled down to nothing
Solich poked and prodded, looking at the man's eyes and in his mouth and taking his blood pressure and listening to his heart.
There was a shuffling rumble like someone was moving heavy furniture just outside the curtain. It took me a minute to realize that I had just heard the man's guts rumbling.
"Sounds like bad gas," I said. I wasn't supposed to say anything.
Nurse Pak frowned at me, but Doc Solich had to think on it a moment. He poked some fingers at the man's gut and pressed and prodded and the man wheezed and groaned and tears ran out of his eyes.
Solich looked surprised, and began really feeling the man's gut, looking like a man kneading bread dough.
A little trickle of piss squirted out of the man's tiny dick and Nurse Pak looked disgusted, mopping it up with a towel.
There was another deep rumble and Solich asked the orderly for help. Together they rolled the man onto his stomach, and he let out a wail.
Solich spread the man's ass cheeks with his gloved hands and I thought to myself that Kraft dinner and not ever having a Porsche were things I could live with.
The doctor stuck a finger into the man's blowhole, looked around the room in surprise, and then poked around some more.
"It's a bolus," Solich said. "It's quite large. I can't grip it, and while the surface is malleable the core is so hard I don't know if I can break it up."
Solich grunted. "If I could crush it or at least move it to one side—"
The short, soft blatt of a single fart came out of the big man. Before it was cut short the young doctor was reeling backward, his body lurching with the dry heaves.
The smell was foul. Worse than sewer. Worse than gangrene. Worse than anything, and I've probably smelled it all.
Solich took a moment to get himself together. Nurse Pak was as white as her uniform, and the orderly's mask was snapping in and out as he sucked air.
The doctor returned to his examination. "It's more solid than ever. I can't budge it."
I shook my head and asked, "You mean he's blocked up by a big turd?
Solich pulled back and nodded. "There is a solid mass of fecal matter, highly impacted. It's acting like a cork, holding everything in. This fellow is being poisoned by his own waste accumulating behind the blockage. I don't think we could remove it even if we administered muscle relaxants. I think surgery may be our only option, but I need a better look."
The orderly switched on a very bright light and Tak handed Solich a big pair or forceps. The Doctor propped open the big man's rectum and we all saw it.
We all saw it moving.
It was a dark brown ball about the size of a clenched fist, with a slightly uneven surface.
It was turning slowly, slowly.
"It's rotating on a constant axis," the Doctor said. He sounded bewildered. He sounded like a little kid. "This is impossible."
We all stood there for at least a few seconds, silently staring at the big man's gaping anus and the slowly spinning half-seen ball inside.
"The surface," Solich muttered, "It's changing."
He opened a drawer and grabbed a scalpel wrapped in paper and plastic. He removed the knife, leaned forward, and gently probed the dark brown turning ball.
"This was soft a minute ago, just impacted feces. Now..."
We could hear a sound as he let the tip of the scalpel brush the surface of the spinning ball, a tiny screeling sound, like someone dragging the tip of a knife on a sidewalk.
"Its hardening," Solich said. "Parts of it almost feel like bone under the blade."
He gestured to the nurse. "I'm taking this bolus out now, and that means I have to cut."
Pak nodded and gathered some small towels. She handed them to the orderly and said, "There will be blood. Use these."
The orderly's eyes were wide, but he nodded and stepped closer.
"Ready some sutures," Solich said. Nurse Pak was already pulling stuff out of the drawers on a mobile cart and putting it on a tray.
Pak set a pair of forceps on the tray, the big ones that you can clamp down on a baby's head with.
Solich started cutting into the pink ring of the big man's asshole, and bright red blood started to flow.
I looked at my shoes. Not because of the blood, but because I knew it would be a while before this guy could relax and read the paper while cranking out a nice long shit.
The bolus stopped its slow turning.
The young doctor made another cut, and then he took up the big forceps and grabbed the bolus.
The bolus jerked hard enough to make Solich plant his feet and pull.
Every time Solich pulled the bolus out a few inches, the brown ball somehow tucked back inside the big man.
Solich pulled again, and the bolus pulled back.
The big man started screaming like he was being tortured and a rank smelling sludge spilled out of him every time the bolus was pulled outward.
As if finally having had enough, Solich pulled back as hard as he could.
There was a wet, ripping sound and then Solich was dancing backwards and looking at the forceps in surprise.
A lot of blood and a goddamned river of bile and shit and maybe even some intestine poured out of the big man's asshole and I could actually see his massive gut deflating as his body weight pressed down on his stomach.
The big man's one visible eye rolled up, and he was gone.
Solich let go of the forceps. They clattered to the floor.
We all got a good look at the bolus.
Nurse Pak turned and ran.
The orderly puked into the mask he was wearing, making it fill and sag and spill. He backed away, shaking his head.
Solich's head was raising, lowering. Raising, lowering.
The bolus was no longer just a brown ball. It had released a ring of what I might as well call teeth, all around its middle. Only thing was, these teeth doubled back like fishhooks. They had dug into the big man's rectum in what I guess was a last-ditch effort to stay in place.
And there was more. Solich was looking back and forth, from the bolus, rocking and twitching on the floor, to the big man's ruined asshole, and the long, shivering pink tube that connected the two.
As we watched the bolus jerked and we saw dark liquid rushing down the tube and away from the big man.
The bolus was feeding. Feeding on the rotten liquid waste that had been building up as long as the man was blocked.
Solich looked at me and shook his head.
He was a real good kid, but this was just two weird for him.
The pink tube snapped free of the big man and almost all of it was reeled inside the bolus. The last few inches began wiggling around on the floor.
Wiggling towards Doc Solich's right leg.
Solich just stared down at it.
I reached outside the curtains and grabbed my mop. I put my foot on the ash handle a few inches above the mop head and pulled, hearing a satisfying crack.
I now had a good few feet of stick, with a jagged end.
The pink tube latched onto Solich. It started pulling itself towards the young man.
I raised the broken mop handle over my head and impaled the brown ball.
It thrashed like a big bass on the end of a line, and then went quiet.
I held it over the garbage bin on one side of my cart and shook it free.
Solich just stared at me when I said, "I gotta go get a new mop. Then I'll clean this up. You okay?"
The young man nodded.
I went down to the maintenance office and signed for another broom. The night shift manager yelled at me some.
When I got back upstairs the big man's body was gone. I cleaned up what was left of the mess. There was a new, clean garbage bag in the bin on my cart.
I never saw Solich or Pak or the orderly again.
But I'm still here, and I'll be watching.
Just in case any more of those ass-clamping, bile-sucking, spinning sons of bitches show up.
User Reviews
Submitted by Mike-Mc (user info) at 2007-09-24 08:39:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very good read.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-04-24 15:21:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i have to poop now.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-19 19:53:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2006-04-19 03:51:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
wow
I dislike your political opinions and this story was completely disgusting...
but you sure can write well.
___________________________________________________
This is nothing. Wait 'til ya hear the story of Richard Dicks and Dick Richards.
And Jeanne Norman, and Duncan Heinz, and ............ :-O
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2006-04-19 03:51:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wow
I dislike your political opinions and this story was completely disgusting...
but you sure can write well.
Submitted by rockdocc (user info) at 2006-04-19 03:50:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nr, there is such a thing as a fecal bolus... I just took it a little further than reality.
______________________________________________________________________________________________
thank you god.
that last compact thing I did was not the happipest day in my medical career.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2006-04-19 03:15:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I loved how fucking twisted this was. The worst I've thought of was a hoard of ticks eating a man alive, and that's pretty mild stuff compared to this.
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-04-18 20:30:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Umm.....wow....definately not what I was expecting from the title and the hospital setting. An insulin bolus or an IV infusion of meds or fluids that's administered quickly is what I think of when I hear bolus.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-04-18 19:33:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i liked the narration it had a stephen king feel to it.
Submitted by BrownEyedGirrl (user info) at 2006-04-18 17:50:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That was TERRIFIC!!!
I HAD to read it to the end... to find out what happened.... good job!!
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2006-04-18 17:30:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Upon further consideration, I like the dichotomy between the intelligent doctor and the obtuse yet very practical janitor. He sees a problem, he fixes it. No muss, no fuss. The doctor (and nurse), on the other hand, has the presence of mind to see that something is Horribly Horribly Wrong, and it affects him in a much more profound way than it does the janitor.
I guess I like that because the janitor's initial weakness becomes his strength, while the doctor's strength later becomes his weakness.
Submitted by cuberat (user info) at 2006-04-18 15:38:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was totally riveted. That was gross, but it gets you in that "watching a train wreck" kind of way.
Submitted by hyprspacd (user info) at 2006-04-18 15:04:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It was great; but for some reason the voice in my head read it as if the janitor from Scrubs was narrating.
Submitted by MichelleNJ (user info) at 2006-04-18 14:27:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Have another.
Submitted by MichelleNJ (user info) at 2006-04-18 14:27:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very well written, very good imagery. I felt like I was actually there. Disgusting in parts, but I couldn't stop reading. Defintely one of the best things I've read.
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2006-04-18 14:26:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-04-18 14:12:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was utterly appalling and extremely entertaining. The tone of the janitor, his no nonsense actions, and humble triumph over the fould beast really made this come to life in a way that made me sick. nicely done.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-04-18 14:01:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Barf. Impactions are terrible. My ex was a med student and had to clear an impaction out of a retarded guy's ass. Good times.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-04-18 13:21:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-04-17 19:08:48 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-04-17 18:58:45 (#)
Ranking: 2
oh, and:
Kraft dinner = dead giveaway you are Canadian.
--
I considered saying just 'macaroni & cheese' as that delightful meal is marketed here, but I wanted to be clear that it was not some yummy home made mac & cheese but the cheap shit from Kraft... marketed in Canada as Kraft Dinner.
And Kraft Mac & Cheese would have sounded somewhat...
----
well, that's what we call it here...no worries, the story still kicked major ass anyways...
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-04-18 11:43:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
nr, there is such a thing as a fecal bolus... I just took it a little further than reality.
Submitted by nrduncan (user info) at 2006-04-18 10:59:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok, after my WTF moment. Sorry, I'm still having my WTF moment.
I agree with The Caes, I liked the janitor's attitude through the whole thing.
but, google says a bolus is:
http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rls=GGLD,GGLD:2005-07,GGLD:en&q=define%3Abolus
1) A single dose of drug.
2) A mass of chewed food mixed with salivary secretions that is propelled into the espohagus during the swallowing phase of digestion.
shrug
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2006-04-18 10:19:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I read the title and thought "A bolus is what you call a chewed up lump of food right as you swallow it. WHat the hell...?" And then I read the story, and it All Made Sense.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2006-04-18 07:05:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was eating my breakfast, chewing away, and then when I got to a certain point, I found that I had stopped chewing, and was reading your post with a growing sense of frozen, apalled horror. That means you did an excellent job. This was one of the grossest and most captivating things I've ever read.
I loved the janitor's attitude. He just stabs the thing, do do-do do-doooooo...
Submitted by tarnation (user info) at 2006-04-18 06:45:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fucken hell, and i though "no shit sundays" were bad
Submitted by Jimmo (user info) at 2006-04-18 06:39:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-04-17 19:04:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
<speechless>
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-04-18 06:22:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
cool
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-04-18 05:45:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was an awesome story. Really made my day.
Submitted by GrayGhost (user info) at 2006-04-18 00:03:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
WTF?
Submitted by Benny (user info) at 2006-04-17 23:26:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I had just finished eating my lunch when I read this. Lucky I'm not squeamish.
One typo that threw me for a second was when you talked about the asian fuck toy nurse and said "he" had a habit of making complaints.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-04-17 22:58:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ghola, you could have a room that is 1000 square feet with one 2 x 4 throw rug and a cat in it, and guarantee the cat will puke on the rug.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-04-17 21:46:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought to myself, "I should say something insightful or observant about this piece."
Then I stared at the cat for a moment as I pondered this. The cat then hacked up a hairball on my shoe and proceeded to eat "said" hairball.
Dumbfounded, I turned back to the computer screen and figured, hell, I'll wing it. Does he really even give a shit?
Submitted by ConorJS (user info) at 2006-04-17 21:44:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't be the ONLY one who jacked it...
WHAT?!?!
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-17 21:13:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy sheep shit, Jack, you are twisted,
but at least he didn't get his PRICK RIPPED OFF IN A FIGHT. . .
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-04-17 21:11:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i...don't...have...a...fucking...chance...in UberMad IV .
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-17 21:01:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh.
Stephen King much?
It was good.
Submitted by Nat_Nemcova (user info) at 2006-04-17 20:24:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn good! had me going there for a sec.....
Submitted by Falconer (user info) at 2006-04-17 20:15:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Woah...
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2006-04-17 20:02:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2006-04-17 19:57:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What the fuck is a bolus??
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-17 19:47:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HA! HAHA! i didn't even read this...
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-04-17 19:25:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Let be be the first to say EURRRG
Submitted by extacy_red (user info) at 2006-04-17 19:16:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2006-04-17 19:14:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ass-demons suck.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-04-17 19:11:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck you McCallum, I had to put my French Onion Soup down.
Bastard
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-04-17 19:08:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-04-17 18:58:45 (#)
Ranking: 2
oh, and:
Kraft dinner = dead giveaway you are Canadian.
--
I considered saying just 'macaroni & cheese' as that delightful meal is marketed here, but I wanted to be clear that it was not some yummy home made mac & cheese but the cheap shit from Kraft... marketed in Canada as Kraft Dinner.
And Kraft Mac & Cheese would have sounded somewhat...
Jesus, if I'm gonna debate stupid shit, let me hop over to an ETS post.
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2006-04-17 19:08:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, that's nice.
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2006-04-17 19:06:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Gross.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-04-17 19:04:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
<speechless>
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-04-17 19:00:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I read the title from a zoology point of view and thought this was going to be about a bolus of parasitic worms
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-04-17 18:58:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh, and:
Kraft dinner = dead giveaway you are Canadian.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-04-17 18:57:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
jesus fucking kee-rist
Submitted by Deconstruction (user info) at 2006-04-17 18:55:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
EBOLUS VIRUS LOL
I DIDNT FUCKING READ THIS SHIT
SUCK IT MC JACKUM