15 Minute Challenge: Let Love In (347 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1 on 9 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by erosion_rules (View user info) at 2006-04-19 15:56:58 EDT
Although I think I got assfucked raw in the title pick, I managed to turn it into something sick and misogynistic.
I never should have bought her that goddamned dog. It seemed cute at first, but then came the shits. That animal had a neverending case of the Hershey squirts, and it always ended up on fabric. Even in the kitchen, where the only floor bound fabric was the small rug by the counter.
I came home from work and found that, despite her being tied with that rug just out of reach, she had somehow managed to pull it under her, seemingly for the sole purpose of saturating it with her swampy leavings.
I tried everything, and I could not get her to stop shitting in the house. It was terrible. I couldn't stand it any more, so I called Paul and Troy.
Paul and Troy were gruff looking guys. Faggots, but still pretty tough. They had a scrapyard full of supplies I could use to build a pen for that pissing, shitting mutt. I picked up some chickenwire, an assload of posts, and a small chain link gate. All I had to do for them was bring by a tube of Astroglide. I was one of the few people in town that knew about their little tryst, so I exploited that. Thanks to this, I was known as the type of guy who could convince a girl to take a shot in the exit once in a while, which helped me out when I was feeling horny. Helped me out, that is, before I let Judy move in.
Judy moved in about a year ago, and she started complaining about needing a pet almost immediately.
"Greg, this house doesn't have enough personality! You need something more!" Blah blah, it was all just bitching and nagging to me.
Finally, to shut her, up, I got her a puppy for Christmas. She named it Love. I thought it was great for the first week, and it started to decline. Then I realized that Love had grown out of most puppy behavior...except for her defecatory tactics. She seemed to be regressing further and further every day.
There were two females in my life now. One that loved to mess stuff up with her ass, one that wished I would stop trying to put things into her ass. By this time, Love was a direct influence on my sex life. She was always in the room, and god forbid we fuck in front of the dog.
"Greg, she's watching us! She knows, it just isn't right to do it in front of her. Hey, that hurts, stop trying to fuck me there!" Same old bullshit.
I had had enough. Things were going to change.
"Greg, let Love in, she's whimpering again."
"We let her in, she sleeps in your closet. That way, YOU can deal with her when she shits."
"Okay, maybe she can spend tonight outside..." Women...it's always about THEIR stuff.
"Judy, bend over. I picked up some Astroglide this afternoon."
User Reviews
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2006-04-20 09:53:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like that you didn't go with the obvious on this one... because the obvious would have been awful. Perhaps as awful as Loves poop.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2006-04-20 07:10:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-20 05:54:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 because I do believe that was my title. Hahaha, suck it.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-04-19 22:09:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by extacy_red (user info) at 2006-04-19 16:31:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
mmmmm
astroglide.....
Submitted by erosion_rules (user info) at 2006-04-19 16:27:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-04-19 16:23:06 (#)
Ranking: 0
jENNIFER LOVE HEWITT
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Uhhhh...what?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-04-19 16:23:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
jENNIFER LOVE HEWITT
Submitted by erosion_rules (user info) at 2006-04-19 16:16:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-04-19 16:09:27 (#)
Ranking: 0
note my favorite :(
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This is what comes out when I spend half the day cleaning up after my cat.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-04-19 16:09:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
note my favorite :(