Where were you the day gerogemichael retired? (786 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.82 on 34 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by georgemichael (View user info) at 2006-04-20 09:23:16 EDT
'Hey granpa, can you tell us another story now? The one about the BEST story teller of all time?'
cried all the little kiddies
'oh come on kiddies granpa has had a big day and wants to sit on the porch for a spell'
said grandma.
'DARN IT woman, I'll sit on the porch when I am darn ready, I want to tell the little 'uns a story - I might die soon and they need to pass the story on'
said granpa, as he remembered the BEST story teller of all time his face was a mix of emotion.
Memories flooded back of those great times in early to mid 2006 when he stumbled upon the BEST writer and story teller the world wide web had to offer.
'Well sit down kids - I ain't got all darn day'
and so granpa began the story, the story all the kids had heard before but wanted to hear again. The story of the BESTEST story teller of all time.....
'Well lets see, now I think his first few stories were based on his life, which people found VERY interesting and informative. He was no bigshot city boy but a 100% gen-u-wyne old boy.
Everyone loved him, as you can tell by the praise he received:
Submitted by Agent_Smith (user info) at 2006-03-26 23:55:42 (#)
Ranking: 2
Heavenly Father loves you, and so do I.
Submitted by soccer (user info) at 2006-04-10 01:45:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 Disability
'and so on and so on'
'Most people took to him straight away but the internet back then was a crazy place and many people were jealos and tried to retaliate'
The kiddies were staring in wide eyed amazement!
'what happened next grandpapy???'
'Well, they got tired of his own life stories and teased him'
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-28 11:32:31 (#)
Ranking: -2
What about that stint you did on the wrong side of a "glory hole"?
Submitted by EntityErased (user info) at 2006-04-10 00:50:26 (#)
Ranking: -2
"the boys who worked there always played fools with the new boy, every week we would have a new boy and he would get fooled and pranked on the funniest thing i ever saw was in that movie super troopers when they put a soap in his coffee."
Longest Run-On Sentance EVAR!
I think I died a little inside.
'so he knew he could befriend all the bad internet people, and he changed his stories to made up ones with lots of desciprtions and interesting events......'
http://www.ubersite.com/m/86175 RIP george
and
http://www.ubersite.com/m/86408 jealosy is a curse
'with these great pieces of literatre he won many fans and get some excellent reviews'
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-04-08 07:19:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
keep up the good work.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-04-08 07:18:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
this one was even more amusing than the last one.
funny, even.
_____________________________________________-
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-04-08 12:05:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
i don't know if it was supposed to be, but this was DAMN funny
especially "wow, my heart does hurt"
'spurred on by his success he kept writinf and writing, eventually even doing A THREE POST SPECIAL which took him all night to do! He also posted pretty pictures in his posts to keep people happy.'
'WOW granpa he seems so great, what was his downfall? Who could not have liked such a cool guy?'
Said the kids who really thought this mystery BEST writer ever guy was seriously awesomely skilled.'
'Well they liked him fine enough, he even became special friends with another great writer'
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-04-08 12:27:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm sorry, but this is on par with Electros stories - unintentionally fucking hysterical
Alter or not, funny shit
_______________________________________________--
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-04-08 12:35:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
'aha' thought Tom, 'They must have finished having relations and now she is cooking him something to eat' In just one minute the only thing you are gonna eat mister is some hot lead.
<PEES SELF>
I swear to God, this kid is giving Electro a run for his money
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-04-08 12:34:45 (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
LIST OF SUPPLIES-
Shotgun
Watch
__________________________________________________-
Submitted by darkspoon (user info) at 2006-04-10 16:44:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 best alter ever
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-04-10 16:41:51 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-04-10 04:39:42 (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-04-09 23:08:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
Whoever is doing this is fucking genius! It takes a lot of thought to pretend to be this retarded.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-04-10 16:21:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
BEST
POST
EEEEEEEEEVAAAAAAAAAAAAR
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-04-10 16:19:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
OH DEAR LORD THIS IS TOOOOOOOO MUCH FOR ME TO HANDLE
"Today was like any other day, but today was different."
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-04-10 12:30:11 (#)
Ranking: -2
well this sucks more balls than my fuckups any day.
Submitted by congo (user info) at 2006-04-10 12:12:59 (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome story! I really
Liked the wonderfully descriptive
Tone and style of your writing. It just seems to
Ease from one scene to the next, effortlessly.
Really, really good!
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2006-04-10 10:12:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
This is fucking beautiful.
'See kids they all loved him, but there are always dark forces at work, people who tease others and people who try to bring the BEST story tellers down'
Now grandpa could not stop the tears, he remembered his face, and how darn handsome he looked that day he first saw him on myspace http://www.myspace.com/georgemichaelhere
'Grandpa don't get sad, now we are sad too'
said the little kids,
Just then grandma came in 'DARN IT grandpa you have been out here telling tales to the kids for too long, time for your sleep'
'DARN YOU WOMAN ! I will finish the story it's the least I can do for -' he couldn't finish the sentence - even saying the GREAT mans name would almost put him in the grave.
'Well then he told an excellent story about a boxer, people raved about it for hours on the internets.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/86564 double crossing at the boxing
and boy was he popular then! Almost 450 hits ! wow almost a new record!'
Submitted by mles76 (user info) at 2006-04-12 18:33:04 (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm not sure what to say.
Submitted by wetyourself (user info) at 2006-04-12 17:41:03 (#)
Ranking: 2
"for practice he beat up old homeless men"
Are you fucking kidding me?!?!? Pure comedy. Is it wrong that georgemichael might invade my naughty adult dreams tonight for this line alone?
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2006-04-12 16:43:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
The story was absolutely fucking pathetic....but godamn, this was hilarious. I mean, I've tried to suck really bad at chores to try and get out of doing them ever again, and this post reminds me of doing that. It's like you want to suck so bad that you won't have to write another story.
Submitted by georgemichael (user info) at 2006-04-12 16:35:17 (#)
Ranking: 0
we are frinds now jgreening
i knew you would come around eventualy
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-04-12 15:58:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
This is all sorts of hilarious alterific goodness.
but I can not for the life of me give this positive, just on principle.
Submitted by Serious_Melvin (user info) at 2006-04-17 19:12:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
My honest-to-God guess is that this is Method's retaliation against Razor's call for more fiction on uber. But whatever the real reason for these stories, I don't want them to stop. They're actually really fun to read.
_________________________________________________________-
'There were some comments that him DARN proud, he knew he was touching peoples hearts!'
_________________________________________________-
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-12 13:45:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
A boxer who punches in the face as his special move? ASTOUNDING!
This guy has made me laugh harder than almost anything else lately.
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2006-04-12 13:35:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
"Harry practiced his special move - PUNCH right in the face, PUNCH right in the face"
I love it. You go, George.
____________________________________________________--
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-12 12:58:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
Come on redskies! This guy is the best alter ever. Just read it for the laugh factor.
I KNOW this one is Method. Nobody else could write in this retarded of a manner.
______________________--------------------------
'But then the bad reviews started and they did not seem to stop. This made him very sad so he started a myspace account to keep some friends he met on the ubersiotes and maybe meet some new ones'
Submitted by congo (user info) at 2006-04-17 09:47:34 (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-04-17 09:29:08 (#)
Ranking: -2
i can't make myself muck through this shit.
no regard for formating.
i'm sorry.
_____________________________________________________-
'They teased him mercilessly and someone gave out his mysopace account and then........'
Granpa just stood watching the sun go down in the distance..
'What happened darn it darn it grandpa , what happened then?'
'Well a whole posse got together and decided to tease him and tease until he wouldn't come back anymore. - they wanted him the BEST writer slash story teller of all time off the internets for good'
'They all hated him because he was getting the resopect of all the top writers on the internets, like this guy for instance -
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2006-04-09 19:41:59 (#)
Ranking: 2
'hi TOm'
'Hi Henry'
Today was like any other day, but today was different.
They met the farm owner,
'darn it darn it'
the farm owner was always angry, mostly becuase he had a real pretty daughter that all the men wanted to have relations with
'What is that girly up to ?' (thought Henry)
'Daisy Daisy what is the matter'
She pointed to her heart wich was cut out and then died.
Henry's knife dropped onto the gravel like a bird that had been shot,
'WHAT IN TARNATION?'
'hey all the farm workers Henry went and killed Daisy'
'i'll never marry you - I refuse to' (Daisy)
'Well if I can't have you no-one can especially not Henry who I know you love' (Thats Jim)
THE END
That is a list of why this is the best thing I have EVER read on Uber, damn it. EVER.
'But Grandpa!' they all cried 'its not fair!' Its 50 years later and all his books are best sellers, we read them for school and mum reads us his stories before we go to sleep... why did they pick on him?'
'well sometimes if people don't like themselves they take it out others kids'
said granpa who had a tear in his eye.
____________________________________________________________
Submitted by georgemichael (user info) at 2006-04-11 23:33:02 (#)
Ranking: 0
ATTENTIN JGREENING
read between the lines
_________________________________________
you are not very nice
__________________________________________
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-11 23:29:44 (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/l/uberbook
Everything in here is why you suck.
Alter.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-04-11 23:13:46 (#)
Ranking: -2
Yeah.
He doesn't like your writing for the reasons you think he does...
SO he knew when he wasn't loved and he packed up his keyboards and mouse....
He burnt all his stories onto a disc and sent it to his mom, then he jumped a train and that's the last we ever heard of him.....
'really grandpa is that the truth?'
'DARN IT OF COURSE WHY WOULD I LIE ???" said grandpa
and from that day on
no one
evr heard of
geroge michal
again.
GEORGE MICHEAL _ THE GREAST AND BEST STRORY TELLER SLASH WRITER OF ALL TIME.
Submitted by georgemichael (user info) at 2006-04-19 20:24:49 (#)
Ranking: 0
METHOD YOU PROMISED
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-04-19 20:23:38 (#)
Ranking: 0
From: george michael <georgemichaelhere.at.gmail.com>
To: ubermethod.at.gmail.com
Date: Apr 19, 2006 7:22 PM
Subject: myspace
Hi methods,
You can find me here on myspace - http://www.myspace.com/georgemichaelhere
Please don't put it on ubersite as I have had just about enouh of those people.
I know I act like i don't care what they say in the reviews but i know for a fact my stories are beeter than other peoples and the give me bad ratings.
on myspace i am trying to get a writers group together to test out stories before people post them. i asked grimm to join so hopefully we can get a few members?
thanks for coming on board
User Reviews
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-05-18 03:15:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
rything you ever wanted to know about georgemichael
User id: 26074
Registered on or around: 2006-03-24 05:29:58
# Messages posted: 24
# Reviews written: 561
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 960
# Hits: 13155
Average rating of all messages: -0.28
-----------------------------------
Everything you ever wanted to know about wijormiclat
User id: 4006
Registered on or around: 2003-12-02 16:55:37
# Messages posted: 10
# Reviews written: 717
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 237
# Hits: 8323
Average rating of all messages: 0.84
------------------------------
Even with you -2ing everything I've ever written, I am still better than you, because you are a retarded, unintelligible, inbred hick that cannot express himself in the written form without warranting massive ridicule due to poor grammar and simple thoughts. PS I am 15+ beers deep into the night and the fact that I can recognize this is just a testament to the depth of your stupidity...
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-05-18 02:50:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by georgemichael (user info) at 2006-05-09 10:10:11 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by georgemichael (user info) at 2006-05-09 00:56:51 (#)
Ranking: -2
stop rating your own shitty gay alters echofag
---------------------------------
Echo and I are completely separate entities you fucking unintelligible faggot.
Submitted by georgemichael (user info) at 2006-05-02 01:33:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
There are benefits!
you can share my dog on thursdays
we can skype each other and conference in electros (i have his skype ID)
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-05-02 01:26:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yes but only if benefits were involved
Submitted by georgemichael (user info) at 2006-05-01 03:50:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-04-08 12:05:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
i don't know if it was supposed to be, but this was DAMN funny
especially "wow, my heart does hurt"
_______________
You wanted to be friends back then
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-04-22 03:04:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
what the fucking SHIT is my name doing in this post!?
BAD GEORGE, BAD BAD BAD
Submitted by tarnation (user info) at 2006-04-22 02:52:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
the whole went to school in texas thing? mad detective work. or you could have pointed out that he is remarkably well preserved for a 38 year old.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-21 18:24:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by tarnation (user info) at 2006-04-20 22:24:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-20 20:43:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by tarnation (user info) at 2006-04-20 20:31:18 (#)
Ranking: 0
shutup doodles, gerorge michael was doin his thing way before you cottoned on.
---
Cottoned on my ass, I was the first to prove he was an alter even if everyone already knew he was. I want recognition god damn it. Just a small mention, even just being alluded too. And it would apper we have a ne alter in our midst, welcome oh shitty one.
how exactly did you prove he was an alter?
---
Read the post before this shitheel.
Submitted by tarnation (user info) at 2006-04-20 22:24:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-20 20:43:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by tarnation (user info) at 2006-04-20 20:31:18 (#)
Ranking: 0
shutup doodles, gerorge michael was doin his thing way before you cottoned on.
---
Cottoned on my ass, I was the first to prove he was an alter even if everyone already knew he was. I want recognition god damn it. Just a small mention, even just being alluded too. And it would apper we have a ne alter in our midst, welcome oh shitty one.
how exactly did you prove he was an alter?
Submitted by secret_of_nimh (user info) at 2006-04-20 21:12:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
heh. the pictures on myspace are just... unbelievable.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-20 20:43:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by tarnation (user info) at 2006-04-20 20:31:18 (#)
Ranking: 0
shutup doodles, gerorge michael was doin his thing way before you cottoned on.
---
Cottoned on my ass, I was the first to prove he was an alter even if everyone already knew he was. I want recognition god damn it. Just a small mention, even just being alluded too. And it would apper we have a ne alter in our midst, welcome oh shitty one.
Submitted by tarnation (user info) at 2006-04-20 20:31:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
shutup doodles, gerorge michael was doin his thing way before you cottoned on.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-20 20:24:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Also, curse you alter, I was the one who brought you to the light, you could have atleast mentioned me! <weeeeeeeeeeeep>
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-04-20 20:22:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Please Method.
I am begging you to do that.
My S.A.A. is begging for overtime pay from all these shitty ones.
Submitted by eppliks (user info) at 2006-04-20 20:20:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't leave. You'll just show everyone that you're a coward who can't take any heat (as if this post wasn't enough, already).
Submitted by tarnation (user info) at 2006-04-20 20:06:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
COME BACK SHANE
Submitted by mles76 (user info) at 2006-04-20 19:18:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Method how could you? I'll miss your stories GM. They were like a vacation from thinking. Simplicity is underrated.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-04-20 19:09:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-04-20 09:30:26 (#)
Ranking: 0
I should do a post one day about how to properly administer an alter and how to orchestrate a proper beginning and end to make the most of it. This guy had potential, but was just too short lived. You did good with this guy at first, but you got ahead of yourself and got too eager with the myspace thing, and floundered at the end, especially with this post. """
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-20 18:56:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Alright, I'm done you alter, now I must find out who you are.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-04-20 16:36:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
It's your fault my parents got divorced.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-04-20 13:38:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Sitting on his Dad's face.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-04-20 12:51:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Hated this alter.
Never funny to me, and I laugh at pretty much anything...car wrecks...discrimination...abortion...
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-20 12:30:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Lame. I thought whoever was running this alter was gonna come clean with it.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2006-04-20 11:14:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck yeah, you should stick around.
These kind of posts make Ubersite worth my fucking time.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-20 11:12:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You forgot this one, snuggles:
Jeffrey Wellman marched into a highway bathroom stop
Looking for a little love, the easy manly kind,
He waddled to a stall in search of hairy, ripe behind
But little did he know he'd found an undercover cop
"Hey man, how's it going" Jeffrey asked him with a grin
"What say we head to my place, for it's just a little stroll,
I'd love to stick my Twinkie in your knotted donut hole
And spread my creamy filling all across your stubbly chin."
Just as "chin" left Jeffrey's mouth, the cop's cuffs flashed and clicked
Then Wellman's arms were bound behind him, causing him to squeal,
He pitted out his flowery shirt as he fought 'gainst the steel
The one thought on his mind: "Of all the menz I could have picked..."
Taken to the squad car, Jeff was tossed into the back,
He flopped beside a fellow who was cuffed and just as scared,
"Holy shit! George Michael" Jeffrey shouted as he stared,
Sure enough the singer sat beside him, dressed in black.
"Yeah, mate" Michael sighed, "it seems they went and caught me too.
I swear they've got it wrong, I wasn't doing what they said,
I didn't try to finger anyone, or ask for head,
And certainly did not attempt to buttfuck in the loo."
"Spare me, Georgie" Jeffrey said, "we both know what we are.
We know we both have appetities that we cannot command.
I say, you look quite handsome in those too-tight leather pants,
Perhaps when this is over we can grab drinks at the bar?"
"Look, you've got it wrong - I'm sorry, sir, I don't like men,
So if you please refrain from asking me out on a date,
You stink of urine, sweat and cheese, my nerves you do a-grate,
Now let us speak no more of this, I won't tell you again."
The cop jumped in the driver's seat and sped the car away,
George and Jeffrey both were booked and taken to a pen,
"Fresh fish" said the guys in gen-pop, sizing up the men,
Jeffrey's mouth just watered, but George said "Cripes, I'm not gay!"
Hours passed and midnight came, and then they made their move:
A bunch of guys took George's arms and held his mouth closed shut,
They tried to force him to the ground and violate his butt
But then a clap of thunder came, and lightning filled the room.
Jeffrey stood decked out in white, a spandex suit and mask,
Fists beside his hips and knuckles on his belt of gold,
"I AM TEH ELECTRO," boomed his voice, "RELEASE YOUR HOLD,
FOR NO MAN SAVE MYSELF CAN PLEASURE UP GEORGE MICHAEL'S ASS!"
All the men were laughing, but Electro taught them all,
His meaty punches broke their jaws and shattered all their heads,
Bolts of lightning shot from out his eyes and shocked them dead,
And as they died they felt him drop their pants and tongue their balls.
George stood to attention, filled with shock and awe and fear,
Electro grabbed him by the waist and held him snug and tight
His weight broke down the wall and then they flew off in the night,
Electro cooing to his man: "YOUR BUNG MINE BOLT WILL SPEAR!"
Now George Michael spends his days alone with cause to cry,
A slave by night to all his captor's many, many needs,
He doesn't know if Wellman or Teh Electro does the deed:
The question of the day: whom fucks George Michael's ass, and why?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-04-20 10:31:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This'll make you poop.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/86828
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-04-20 10:15:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I don't know but i almost just threw up some pineapple, it was rad
Submitted by congo (user info) at 2006-04-20 09:44:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I remembered another thing to put on my list of what alters are not:
- Funny anymore.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2006-04-20 09:40:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Method, he just wanted you to love him on myspace....
Submitted by el_em_en_oh (user info) at 2006-04-20 09:38:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I WISH I KNEW HOW TO QUIT YOU...
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-04-20 09:37:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
cunty. not you tardboy, all the people that encouraged you. i want those two minutes back! i missed two minutes of regis&kelly! and craig ferguson is filling in for rege.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-04-20 09:30:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I should do a post one day about how to properly administer an alter and how to orchestrate a proper beginning and end to make the most of it. This guy had potential, but was just too short lived. You did good with this guy at first, but you got ahead of yourself and got too eager with the myspace thing, and floundered at the end, especially with this post.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-04-20 09:29:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I blame all of you for this stupid bullshit
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2006-04-20 09:27:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I got about 25% through this before I realized that it was pointless to go further.