105th post? WTF! with lame camwhore... (1084 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: Uber_Only
Rating: 1.87 on 54 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by kaos-king (antius777) (View user info) at 2006-04-20 11:00:57 EDT
105th post. Jaysis Bloody Christ...
I was in the middle of writing the "Uber, Assemble!!!" series when my 100th passed by and I didn't want to break into it just to write this lame-ass thing. I figured I would wait until I was finished, toss it up on Uber then. Hence, you now now this ridiculous piece of shit.
I believe it all started in the summer of 2004.
A few months before, I had been diagnosed with severe Bi-Polar Disorder (type 1) with rapid cycles. After a bunch of tests, they concluded that it was due to a major ceratonin imbalance. My doctors put me on a massive cocktail of medications, including a drug usually prescribed to patients with epilepsy to control my ceratonin levels. Unfortunately, the side effects of all this medication had me sleeping around 12 hours a night, plus at least one nap during the day. It was decided I was officially a "Disabled Citizen," and placed on Social Security.
Great. Now what the fuck was I going to do all damn day? I had been playing with a few concepts for storylines in my head for years, so I decided I might as well sit down and type them out. (Better than watching Judge Judy.) I found I enjoyed writing and from the little feedback I was getting from people reading my manuscript, it seemed I had some aptitude for it. Writing, I found, was much more fulfilling to me than my first love, visual art. I had gone to art school for 3 years, but eventually realized how much it sucked.
Anyhow... the summer of 2004. My high school has a huge all class reunion every number of years. It's an excuse to shut down the streets and let everyone wander around drunk. At some point while I was stumbling around from too much vodka, I ran into a guy who had been a year behind me. We had partied a few times back in the day, so we struck up a conversation. Before we parted ways, I gave him one of my cards, (I had a lame freesite to promote my writing) and forgot about it.
A few months later, he e-mails me with a link to a site he thinks I would be interested in. He explains that writers post their original work, and it is reviewed and rated by other amateur authors. Well shit, that sounds fucking cool!
But why is it called pulseHEAD? And what kinda name is "Gascs?"
So I checked it out. I posted one of the short stories I had been asked for by a company called "Horror Punk Productions." Unfortunately, I formatted it wrong and I got slammed for it. Regardless, I pulled through and continued posting short tales of horror and the strange. I was totally hooked, totally addicted.
I began to get to know some of the other authors and I began to pick up on some of the slang. I also began to hear the word "Uber" thrown around. I had no idea what this was for months. I finally had to ask someone who explained the whole deal to me. I was intrigued, and decided to check this site out.
Holy. Anal. Rape. Batman.
This was not the nice, small, safe community of pleasant writers that I was use to. Uber was pure chaos. Pieces of great literary value were on the front page right next to pictures of goatse. And they would have the same fucking rating! There were alliances and vendettas, true friendships and utter hatred. A complete dictionary of slang terms and images that baffled me. PulseHEAD was a small, quite indie film... Ubersite was a 300 million Hollywood blockbuster with all the cast and crew on crystal meth.
As my numbers grew on pH, I lurked on Uber. Through the cunning use of context clues, I figured out most of the bizarre slang. Finally one day, I figured I would post one of my poems that had received good reviews on pH, since I had never seen any poetry on Uber. Yeah, I found out why. This was in the days before Orgasmatron had made such things cool...
Okay, lesson learned. My next few posts on Uber were total shit. I wrote what I thought the audience wanted. I even posted some redhead porn. Ultimately, no one cared. I was just another bullshit nobody. By this time I was the highest rated author on pulseHEAD and it seemed that no matter what I put up over there, I got a "Great Job!" I was taking my writing seriously, and I wanted honest feedback. It was time to start posting the short stories on Uber.
And now I've posted a shit load. I've got great constructive criticism from you bastards and I definitely feel as if I'm a better writer for it. My novel is almost finished, I run multiple websites, and I've had stories picked up by a number of free-press publications. Hell, I still do freelance art on the side, too.
So, you assholes, thank you. From HAR HAR RABBIT to Y HALO THAR! Ubersite has become a place I have to stop by every day...
Kaos-King (Antius777)
Brian Fatah Steele
User Reviews
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-05-10 00:07:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
im making out with my computer monitor
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-05-09 23:15:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Alors c'est toi le mec qui prétend être l'authorité finale sur la beauté et les opinions qu'on devrait avoir à ce sujet?
Tes yeux de chien battu en disent beaucoup sur tes réactions.
Bonne chance avec ça, mec!
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-04-21 16:50:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2006-04-21 16:38:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
I read this the other day, but wanted to come back and find it/+2 it. I like the way you write and enjoyed your descriptions of PulseHEAD vs. Uber. PH is interesting, but the white text on black there really bothers my eyes - almost unreadable.
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Cyrus, once you've logged in you can change the color set up. There are about 5 different formats to choose from. I use a hunter green and tan version.
Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2006-04-21 16:38:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I read this the other day, but wanted to come back and find it/+2 it. I like the way you write and enjoyed your descriptions of PulseHEAD vs. Uber. PH is interesting, but the white text on black there really bothers my eyes - almost unreadable.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:16:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love Uber.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:05:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-04-21 03:32:01 (#)
Ranking: -2
stfu noob
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I love you so much, Commander!!!!
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-04-21 09:34:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-21 03:15:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-20 11:07:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
And here I thought you were a rail-thin introvert with raven hair.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-04-21 07:01:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That is NOT how I imagined you looked at ALL! I imagined an Axolotl type figure.
Expect to be included in a post, probably with a mouthfull of jam going "mfff mfff mfff"
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2006-04-21 06:49:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-04-21 00:20:48 (#)
Ranking: 0
At least here I have certain individuals who will tell me when I post shit...
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When have you ever posted shit? Ah, I guess it must be refreshing to come to a place where not everyone is lined up to suck your dick.
Wait, no it's not! You mad bastard!
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-04-21 03:32:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
stfu noob
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-21 03:15:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-20 11:07:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
And here I thought you were a rail-thin introvert with raven hair.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-04-21 00:33:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm glad you've found a place here.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-04-21 00:20:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2006-04-20 23:40:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
Interesting what you said about pulseHEAD...do you really get better feedback here than on that site??
Because I would find that very sad.
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It's not that I get BETTER feedback here, I get more HONEST feedback.
Check my numbers over there. I'm over 1000 points ahead of the 2nd highest rated author. That's ridiculous.
I just feel that sometimes people over there see an Antius777 post and instantly give it a +5.
At least here I have certain individuals who will tell me when I post shit...
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-04-21 00:02:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
w00t
Still peeved I died so early, but what can you do?
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2006-04-20 23:40:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Interesting what you said about pulseHEAD...do you really get better feedback here than on that site??
Because I would find that very sad.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-04-20 17:02:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2006-04-20 16:22:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
Mr. cool guy with his cigarette
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Mocky, 90% of the photos I've ever seen of you, have you with a cigarette!
Ya bastard!
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2006-04-20 16:22:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mr. cool guy with his cigarette
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-20 15:26:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-20 11:07:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
And here I thought you were a rail-thin introvert with raven hair.
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-04-20 15:06:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was under the impression you were a 15 year old pizza faced hermaph.
I was wrong. Or am i? What?
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-04-20 14:55:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
that's a good "how i found uber" story.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2006-04-20 12:00:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
I like your stuff, but that eyebrow ring is a fucking douchebag thing to do.
Get the fuck rid of it.
Submitted by Nat_Nemcova (user info) at 2006-04-20 14:04:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great writing....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-04-20 12:18:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
You should upgrade your piercings... I hear they do that with the penis now.
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You do NOT want to do that....It's quite rare but there are cases were the site of the piercing becomes severly infected....With all the soft tissue in the area they have to cut off your penis.....I highly doubt it would be worth the few chicks that may like it.....
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-04-20 13:40:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
make rape to me
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-04-20 13:29:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"PulseHEAD was a small, quite indie film... Ubersite was a 300 million Hollywood blockbuster with all the cast and crew on crystal meth."
interesting.
Submitted by dove666 (user info) at 2006-04-20 13:18:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
More Chins than a chinese phonebook.
Good post.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-04-20 13:07:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
and a good thing you did, too!
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-04-20 12:50:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2006-04-20 12:44:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I miss my eyebrow ring.
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-04-20 12:36:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you're good shit
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-04-20 12:34:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're a big dude. That's all I have to say because I didnt read your post.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-04-20 12:31:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
are there pictures of you smiling?
are there pictures of me without weapons?
nope, just checking.
you rock at life.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2006-04-20 12:28:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Uber was pure chaos."
and you are its cing.
So glad you decided to check this place out. It's writers like
yourself that keep me coming back. Otherwise this place has lost its appeal a while
ago.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-04-20 12:27:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Peon, I have 10 gauge hoops in my ears.
I might consider getting my cock done, but only if you have sweaty, disturbing, carny-style sex with me!
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-04-20 12:18:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You should upgrade your piercings... I hear they do that with the penis now.
OMG THEN YOU COULD RUN A CHAIN!!!
kickass
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2006-04-20 12:15:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this site got me writing again.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2006-04-20 12:03:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hee hee, 105th. busy little bee.
you r0x0r.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-04-20 12:02:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Phewww! Nearly dodged that bullet. For a second there I thought you were going to rehash your lame existence on a shitstain website. Thank god you didn't. Wait did I just lower case God as god? Anyway, what I mean is congratulations but there's no need to do this when you hit 200 or any other benchmark, really.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2006-04-20 12:00:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like your stuff, but that eyebrow ring is a fucking douchebag thing to do.
Get the fuck rid of it.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-04-20 11:59:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
See that's how outdated it is I can't even remember what its called.
Well... that an the fact that I'm stupid probably doesn't help.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-04-20 11:48:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
love you long time!
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-04-20 11:36:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-04-20 11:25:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
1999 called - It wants it eyelid piercing back
*blows kisses*
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Eyelid piercing? OUCH! That would fucking hurt, Peon.
I do, however, have my eyebrow pierced.
*catches kisses*
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-04-20 11:36:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ok, just kidding man...good shit on you for the work you've done here.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-04-20 11:36:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you chins look like they are locked in a battle for supremity over your jaw
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-04-20 11:36:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Please marry me Kaos, we would have to go to Mass of course, but I think it would be worth it.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-04-20 11:29:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You look like my dog Dave.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-04-20 11:25:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
1999 called - It wants it eyelid piercing back
*blows kisses*
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-04-20 11:15:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-04-20 11:03:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
I HAD NO IDEA YOU WERE FAT.
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HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! No, no... I'm a big guy. Six foot, 255 lbs. I threw shot and disk all through school and I've kept that build.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-04-20 11:11:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-04-20 11:08:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
THAT WAS WRONG OF ME AS I RESPECT YOU AS A WRITER. SORRY.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-20 11:07:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And here I thought you were a rail-thin introvert with raven hair.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-04-20 11:06:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You appear to have something stuck to your eyebrow.
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2006-04-20 11:05:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ways to goes.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-04-20 11:03:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You look a lot gayer than I thought you'd be but you've done a nice job here, chief.
Shlongy, too, is a working, living, breathing, bi-polar headcase, which quite frankly, helps me kick major ass in the business world on a daily basis.
I've been off the meds for about 7 years but you never know when you might need'em again.
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-04-20 11:03:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I HAD NO IDEA YOU WERE FAT.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-04-20 11:02:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd do ya!
No really, I would.