Burger bitch (482 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.13 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by OrganicBuddha (View user info) at 2006-04-20 12:59:30 EDT
Well, you hated my first post, so I'm trying again.
I went to Burger King for lunch and they had a sign in the drive through window that said if I call the 1800 number and take a survey that I would get a free whopper sandwich.
I got back to work and called them a few minutes ago.
Hello and thank you for calling Burger king, they said.
The guy at the drivethrough sexually harrassed me, i told them.
The guy didnt say anything for a minute but then he asked for the store info and I told him which one it was. He asked me to describe the guy who harassed me. So I told them it was a short black guy with a goatee and gold framed glasses, the same guy who served me my food but didnt actually harass me.
So then the guy asks exactly what the guy did. It sounded like he was jerking off or something.
I told him that the guy handed me my food and smiled at me, then obviously looked down my shirt and asked me out. The guy on the phone asks me what I said. I told him that I said sure, and gave the guy my number. So the guy on the phone gets all confused and asks me why I said I would go out with him if I felt harassed. "Because i liked it" I said and i giggled. The guy on the phone was silent so i asked him "what about my fucking coupon?" he busted out laughing and said that hes gonna send me a whole bunch.
User Reviews
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-04-21 04:38:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by rockdocc (user info) at 2006-04-21 04:35:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-04-20 13:00:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
priceless
_______________________________
WRONG! Sacreligious twat!
this will cost a "-2 DIE BITCH!"
so.... -2 DIE BITCH!
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-04-21 04:07:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
DIPSHIT ALERT!
DIPSHIT ALERT!
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Yes, I have branched out.
I have a whole line of JayPeg Brand Alert's ready and waiting, just for some dipshit like you!
Submitted by gonefiguring (user info) at 2006-04-20 16:44:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You are a fluke of the universe.
You have no right to be here.
Go placidly amid the noise and waste.
And remember what comfort there may be in owning a piece thereof.
Avoid quiet and passive persons unless you are in need of sleep.
Rotate your tires.
Speak glowingly of those greater than yourself
And heed well their advice, even though they be turkeys.
Know what to kiss.....and when.
Consider that two wrongs never make a right but that three do.
Wherever possible, put people on hold.
Be comforted that in the face of all aridity and disillusionment
And despite the changing fortunes of time, there is always a big future in computer maintenance.
You are a fluke of the universe.
You have no right to be here.
And whether you can hear it or not the universe is laughing behind your back.
Remember the Pueblo.
Strive at all times to bend, fold, spindle and mutilate.
Know yourself. If you need help, call the FBI.
Exercise caution in your daily affairs, especially with those persons closest to you.
That lemon on your left, for instance.
Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls would scarcely get your feet wet.
Fall not in love therefore; it will stick to your face.
Gracefully surrender the things of youth: The birds, clean air, tuna, Taiwan
And let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
Hire people with hooks.
For a good time call 606-4311; Ask for "Ken."
Take heart amid the deepening gloom that your dog is finally getting enough cheese.
And reflect that whatever misfortune may be your lot It could only be worse in Milwaukee.
You are a fluke of the universe.
You have no right to be here.
And whether you can hear it or not the universe is laughing behind your back.
Therefore, make peace with your god
Whatever you conceive him to be - Hairy thunderer, or cosmic muffin.
With all its hopes, dreams, promises and urban renewal
The world continues to deteriorate.
GIVE UP! <===This bit right here is written just for you
You are a fluke of the universe.
You have no right to be here.
And whether you can hear it or not the universe is laughing behind your back.
--The National Lampoon (Deteriorata)
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-04-20 16:12:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I hate the second post
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-04-20 15:52:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you need Jesus
Submitted by BrownEyedGirrl (user info) at 2006-04-20 13:49:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by dove666 (user info) at 2006-04-20 13:10:59 (#)
Ranking: 1
So how WAS the burger...bitch?
(Next one will have secret sauce on it)
===========================================
this story should have had "special sauce"....
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2006-04-20 13:49:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
fuck it, post of picture of your boobs (unless you're fugly, then don't bother)
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-04-20 13:41:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you tried twice. you can stop now. it's just stupid to try the same thing again and again if you're just going to fail.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-04-20 13:37:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"Fouled back to the screen, strike two!"
Submitted by myexstaintstain (user info) at 2006-04-20 13:33:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i pooed and laughed a little.
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2006-04-20 13:32:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-04-20 13:17:18 (#)
Ranking: -2
Well you hated my first post, so I cut my fatass wrist a little bit and now I'm going to try again.
I went down to Burger King for a vat of fries and 3 dozen burgers, when I walked in they all screamed 'Buddha!', you know like Norm on Cheers. Anyway like they had a 1 800 number to call and you get a free hot oil enema if you do this like survey thing.
I got back to the Weight Watchers meeting I had snuck out of and I call on my cellie cell.
Hello and thank you for call Helga's Hot Horny Housewife Hotline, they said.
I said that the fat content on the new Super Mega Whopper was insufficient.
Helga sat silent for a moment, mainly because Helga runs a phone sex hotline and has nothing to do with burgers. Finally Helga asks me if I'm down with some nappy dugout and I'm all like sure you know whatever.
So then she asks me about my size and I say hey fuck you I'm stocky.
Helga laughs and says she heard that one before and hangs up on me.
So now I'm pissed and I figure why not stick my head in the over for a while.
So here I am Uber, fatass sticking up in the air, gas coming out of the stove and out of my rectum, when George walks and sticks a rake in my ass...not the handle either.
I says George what the fuck is up your ass?
So we made some fuck with a tub of Crisco and Barry Manilow singing in the background.
_________________________________
HAHAHAHAHAA
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-04-20 13:29:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Uh, what?
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-04-20 13:23:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-04-20 13:17:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Well you hated my first post, so I cut my fatass wrist a little bit and now I'm going to try again.
I went down to Burger King for a vat of fries and 3 dozen burgers, when I walked in they all screamed 'Buddha!', you know like Norm on Cheers. Anyway like they had a 1 800 number to call and you get a free hot oil enema if you do this like survey thing.
I got back to the Weight Watchers meeting I had snuck out of and I call on my cellie cell.
Hello and thank you for call Helga's Hot Horny Housewife Hotline, they said.
I said that the fat content on the new Super Mega Whopper was insufficient.
Helga sat silent for a moment, mainly because Helga runs a phone sex hotline and has nothing to do with burgers. Finally Helga asks me if I'm down with some nappy dugout and I'm all like sure you know whatever.
So then she asks me about my size and I say hey fuck you I'm stocky.
Helga laughs and says she heard that one before and hangs up on me.
So now I'm pissed and I figure why not stick my head in the over for a while.
So here I am Uber, fatass sticking up in the air, gas coming out of the stove and out of my rectum, when George walks and sticks a rake in my ass...not the handle either.
I says George what the fuck is up your ass?
So we made some fuck with a tub of Crisco and Barry Manilow singing in the background.
Submitted by dove666 (user info) at 2006-04-20 13:10:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
So how WAS the burger...bitch?
(Next one will have secret sauce on it)
Submitted by dove666 (user info) at 2006-04-20 13:09:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2006-04-20 13:06:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-04-20 13:00:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
priceless
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-20 13:01:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Whose alter is this? Weak.
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-04-20 13:00:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
priceless