My brother and me (Dad included) (1061 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.08 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Derek Blanchard <blanchfor.at.kitty-hawk.navy.mil> (View user info) at 2003-06-10 13:16:17 EDT
My brother was just complaining to me about life's problems... the kid is only 14 and he's out of school for summer vacation at the moment. While I wanted to be a good big brother and tell him that's the way it is, I also wanted to ask him what on earth there really was for him to complain about. I kept my mouth shut through the entire conversation (while he constantly bitched about my dad) until he said one phrase which nearly threw me into a fit of rage and fury.
"Man, sometimes I wish I was over there where you are man!"
Oh, the ignorance of a child. I wanted to yell at him, "Don't you ever say that again, are you insane!?" as if he was talking about hanging himself with a dog leash or something. I maintained though after I remembered I had the exact same mindset when I was his age. If I hadn't I wouldn't be where I am now.
"I wanna see the world you said! Japan is cool 'cause they make cool videogames you said! Look at you now you son of a bitch! Scrub motherfucker, you asked for it!!"
Ugh. Really though, all the kid has to do is wake up, and do whatever the hell he wants to do. There are times when he has to do daily chores (since someone has to take care of my father) but I don't think that's something to pout about. I did the shit back then, and I gave myself rewards for doing it too. If I think I did enough work to deserve praise I would praise myself - by stealing cigarette butts out of the ash trays and lighting them bastards up in the bathroom. Shit, when my dad passed out on the floor in a drunken stupor I'd drink the rest of the beer he had in the fridge 'cause I goddamned deserved it!
I never talked back to my father though, I always did what he asked me to do. We had a mutual understanding. Not the same with my brother, he bitches at my dad so much if you were in the same room with them you'd think he was a homosexual pedophile with a bitching man/boy wife. I wonder what will happen now that my brother is taking that step into the life of man now that he is on his way to high school.
(Hold on... I gotta snort a line real quick like so I get the rest of this shit out...)
So I stuck my head in the toilet and... whoa wrong story. I can picture my brother with his girlfriends and truck at all the school dances totally ignoring my father... I have a bad feeling those two are going to end up hating each other. Oh what am I rambling about, no one here probably gives a fuck and two dicks about what I have on my mind right?
(This is the part where you think of insults or you tell me that is a good post. Either way is fine, as long as you don't type in all caps... I hate that shit. None of that smiley face quotation shit either. Oh and don't forget about that lol lmsoa saf bullshit.)
User Reviews
Submitted by Aphrodite (user info) at 2003-06-14 18:48:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can relate. My sister is the same way. It irritates the hell out of me. She is 16 and very spoiled.
How she's been raised, compared to how I was, makes it look like we weren't even raised by the same parents, but we were. She has it MUCH easier than I did, but she whines and complains like she has the hardest life.
Don't get me wrong-- I love her with all my heart... She is just a whiner.
Submitted by Manfre <rickmanfre.at.comcast.net> at 2003-06-14 17:05:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It woulda looked right if the spacing was correct... The things at the top were titties...
Submitted by MaesterMeat (user info) at 2003-06-10 17:44:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
:-XXX
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2003-06-10 15:26:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
:-X
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2003-06-10 15:18:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MaesterMeat (user info) at 2003-06-10 15:16:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
+2 for them? What about me? What about my genius? I got your damn deep thoughts right here!
Submitted by RocketshipUnderpants (user info) at 2003-06-10 15:08:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for Fabish and Jack
Submitted by MaesterMeat (user info) at 2003-06-10 14:47:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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WWWW WWWW
Is the things at the top titties or eyes? Also, what's up with them big ass man feet?
Submitted by turveytopsy (user info) at 2003-06-10 14:46:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Manfre you're a riot. I think it's more fun to watch you try and post a reply or a picture than some of the actual posts.
Derek I hope your brother learns a lesson from all of this and changes otherwise he's in for a world of anger.
Submitted by YoDumbass (user info) at 2003-06-10 14:41:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't worry Manfre, I've had "relations" with women that resemble that.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2003-06-10 14:37:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
AHAHAHAHAHA.
Keep snortin' Derek.
Submitted by HeavensWalls (user info) at 2003-06-10 14:34:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Shit, when my dad passed out on the floor in a drunken stupor I'd drink the rest of the beer he had in the fridge 'cause I goddamned deserved it!"
hahaha...
Submitted by MaesterMeat (user info) at 2003-06-10 14:13:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
But now that you mention cock slobbing... could you do that pic one more time?
Submitted by MaesterMeat (user info) at 2003-06-10 14:13:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
haha, but really - don't that shit anymore.
ASCII art is ok, it takes skill.
Submitted by Manfre (user info) at 2003-06-10 14:00:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fucking whore cock monger... It didnt work...
Submitted by Manfre (user info) at 2003-06-10 14:00:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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WWWW WWWW
If you close your eyes real tight and imagine hard enough itll look like a girl...
Submitted by Manfre (user info) at 2003-06-10 13:52:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
LOL THAT SUCKS DUDE =0(
Haha I had to do it... You were just asking for it...
8==D O0=
You didnt say anything about sucking dick either...
=0)~>
Or licking pussy
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2003-06-10 13:21:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"I remember I was hammering on a fence in the backyard when Dad approached. He was carrying a letter or something in his hand, and he looked worried. I continued to hammer as he came toward me. "Son," he said, "why are you hammering on that fence? It already has plenty of nails in it." "Oh, I'm not using nails," I replied. "I'm just hammering." With that, I returned to my hammering. Dad asked me to stop hammering, as he had some news. I did stop hammering, but first I got a couple more hammers in, and this seemed to make Dad mad. "I said, stop hammering!" he yelled. I think he felt bad for yelling at me, especially since it looked like he had bad news. "Look," he said, "you can hammer later, but first-" Well, I didn't even wait to hear the rest. As soon as I heard "You can hammer," that's what I started doing. Hammering away, happy as an old hammer dog. Dad tried to physically stop me from hammering by inserting a small log of some sort between my hammer and the fence. But I just kept on hammering, 'cause that's the way I am when I get that hammer going.
"Then, he just grabbed my arm and made me stop. "I'm afraid I have some news for you," he said. I swear, what I did next was not hammering. I was just letting the hammer swing lazily at arm's length, and maybe it tapped the fence once or twice, but that's all. That apparently didn't make any difference whatsoever to Dad, because he just grabbed my hammer out of my hand and flung it across the field. And when I saw my hammer flying helplessly through the air like that, I just couldn't take it. I burst out crying, I admit it. And I ran to the house, as fast as my legs could take me. "Son, come back!" yelled Dad. "What about your hammer?!" But I could not have cared less about hammering at that point. I ran into the house and flung myself onto my bed, pounding the bed with my fists. I pounded and pounded, until finally, behind me, I heard a voice. "As long as you're pounding, why not use this?" I turned, and it was Dad, holding a brand-new solid-gold hammer. I quickly wiped the tears from my eyes and ran to Dad's outstretched arms. But suddenly, he jumped out of the way, and I went sailing through the second-story window behind him."
- Jack Handey
Submitted by MaesterMeat (user info) at 2003-06-10 13:21:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
aaarrrgghhh! The clever bastard below has decieved me!
Submitted by Snipa at 2003-06-10 13:18:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You never said no boobs!!!! ( . Y . )