The Dude Upstairs (Chapter 15) (4846 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.75 on 89 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Grimm <grimmjuice.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2006-04-21 07:14:34 EDT
Chapter 1 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/85013
Chapter 2 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/85232
Chapter 3 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/85403
Chapter 4 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/85558
Chapter 5 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/85867
Chapter 6 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/85974
Chapter 7 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/86186
Chapter 8 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/86234
Chapter 9 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/86283
Chapter 10 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/86448
Chapter 11 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/86489
Chapter 12 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/86548
Chapter 13 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/86650
Chapter 14 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/86721
Sorry for the lack of "Dude" posts this week, but he didn't really do enough to justify his own post.
After the Easter Egg hunt gone wrong last Friday, Dude went away for the weekend and as such, the house was quiet as a tomb. No, I don't know where he went.
Monday evening I got home from work and found the little thermometer/barometer thingy outside my door, which I took a pic of and posted here: http://www.ubersite.com/m/86768
In return, I left him a shoebox with four flathead screwdrivers in it, all the same size and with matching handles. This doesn't hurt my tool collection, as somehow the population of flathead screwdrivers outnumbers the philips 3 to 1.
Tuesday evening, "Julie" came over and we had our little driveway talk. I don't know if Dude was home, as sometimes he can be quiet as a mouse and other times he's insanely noisy. To add to the confusion, sometimes he parks in the driveway or street, and sometimes he pulls it into the garage. He must have been home though, because Wednesday morning, I find a tire iron and an empty coffee cup in front of the door.
Seems like Dude and I are having some issues with creativity. I don't want to go to work without leaving him something, so I look and look (thereby getting to work late) and finally settle on a bottle of sand art that I made at a carnival years ago, an old ant trap, and a corkscrew (I have enough corkscrews to equip the Italian army).
As you know, Wednesday was the night that I was supposed to stop being a born again virgin and finally get some action. A couple reviews on Uber reminded me that Dude could totally fuck things up, so as soon as I got home I talked to Dude. After, of course, I clear away the bag of potting soil and the box of rubber bands away from my door.
""Dude"!" I yell up the stairwell, seeing that his car is in the driveway.
"FUCK YOU!" he yells back, then I hear him laugh. Three seconds, and door opens - he looks down at me. "Whassup?" he asks.
"What are you doing tonight?" I say.
"Nothing."
"So you'll be home?"
"Yeah, why, you wanna hang out?"
"Um...maybe another time. I'm actually having company tonight, and I just wanted to ask if you could try to...you know...be a little quiet?"
"Who is it - "Julie"?"
"Ummm...."
"Are you guys gonna fuck?" he says, and I'm reminded of the little kid at the end of the first American Pie, going "Fuckers! Fuckers! Fuckers!"
"Dude...."
"You want me outta here, don't you?"
"I don't wanna kick you out of your house or anything...."
"No, I understand. I just don't have anything to do."
I think a moment and reach into my pocket. I have thirty dollars on me.
"Why don't you go into the village and catch a movie, maybe some dinner or a drink?" I hold out the money.
"You're gonna pay me to stay out?"
"Yeah."
"For how long?"
"Um....she's coming at 6, so how bout midnight?"
"It's a fucking work night, man, I don't wanna stay out till midnight."
"I don't have any more money."
"You got any booze?" he asks.
"Um...yeah" I say and duck into my place and grab a half full case of Rolling Rock. Dude grins and agrees.
So Julie comes over and we have a very nice time. Predictably, Dude comes home no more than three minutes past midnight, which probably contributes to Julie not spending the night. He immediately started playing music and TV at a loud voice and walking back and forth above our heads. Every few minutes the sound would cut out and I imagine he was seeing if he could hear anything from below. We were done by that point, though, and soon Julie left.
Thursday morning, a note on my door asks if I need more condoms. I simply write a smiley face on it and leave it on his steps.
Thursday afternoon and I arrive home to find Dude sitting on his steps waiting for me.
"Hey." I say.
"Fuck her?"
"Dude - I'm not gonna talk about that with you."
"You did. She was all smiley and shit at work today."
I chuckle and blush a little.
"Anyway, I got a question for you." He says, reaching behind his back. He's got a FedEx package in his hands, addressed to me. "Why are you getting mail from the State Department? Are you some kind of spy or something?"
I chuckle. "Yeah, this is how I get my mission assignments, fuckhead."
Dude stares at me.
"It's probably my passport," I say opening it up and confirming that it is indeed my passport.
"You going somewhere?" he asks
"Yeah, I'm going to Europe in June."
"How come?"
"I've never been, thought it would be cool"
"Can I come?"
I look at him a moment.
"Hahaha, just kidding." He says. "Where in Europe?"
"Not sure yet, England first."
"So you're going to different places?"
"Sure."
"But you don't know where yet?"
"Yeah, I thought I'd figure it out once I got there."
"You should go to Amsterdam."
"I'm sure I'll stop in for a day or two."
"You know why you should go there?"
"Yes."
"Weed is legal there man!!!"
"Yes, I know."
"You ever see Pulp Fiction?"
"Sure."
"You need to get a fucking Royale with Cheese, dude."
"Yup."
"That would be funny as shit." His eyes light up. "Hey - bring me one back!"
"You want me to bring you a hamburger from Europe?"
"Definitely. I'd take my picture with it and shit."
"You'd take your picture with a European hamburger?"
"Yeah. It's a fucking Royale with Cheese, man! Just like the movie."
"But, it's just a Quarter Pounder."
"No, man, Royale with Cheese."
"It's the same thing as here."
"No. It's different. I want one."
"I don't know if customs will be too happy about a hamburger in my luggage."
"Fuck them. Tell them it's for me."
"Um.....Yeah." Think of the image going through my head at this point - "But, it's for the DUDE!!!"
"If I gave you a list and some money, could you bring me stuff back?"
"Um....as long as it's not heavy or anything, I'm gonna be traveling light. I can ship you a box or something if you give me money."
"Yeah, definitely."
"O.K., make a list then." I say, thinking that Europe will be more interesting with a scavenger hunt tailored by Dude.
"When do you need it by?"
"I'm leaving in June." I say
"Cool."
Dude finally leaves.
This morning I find Dude's list shoved under my door (Camwhore below)
In case you can't read it, it says:
(GRIMM) -
1. Royale with Cheese - MUST GET!
2. A foreign language porn DVD - any kind, as long as they don't talk english
3. Something from Amsterdam - do you know what I mean? Ask me if you don't.
4. Something STUPID that costs a dollar and looks foreign.
5. Foreign Candy
6. A newspaper that is in English but is not English.
Ship it to me - let me know if you have the address - haha
-(DUDE)
Is it just me, or does Dude write like a girl??
User Reviews
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-01-03 17:03:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Newty (user info) at 2007-08-19 15:49:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
just read all of these and am so disappointed there aren't more. So good.
Submitted by Dervish (user info) at 2007-07-13 09:27:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I just read every single one of these, in sequential order.
You now owe me the following:
1. A new set of pants (peed them laughing)
2. A new keyboard (spit coffee on it repeatedly)
3. A written explanation to my boss as to why I spend the first half hour of work giggling like an idiot
You will notice that I did NOT include "the half hour I spent reading your posts". That was well-spent.
Good show.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-07-13 08:18:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
where did u go?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-04-24 13:15:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2006-12-02 22:14:10 PST (#)
Ranking: -2
dead? me??????
----
How was Europe?
Submitted by Still-Life (user info) at 2007-02-22 05:09:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2006-12-03 01:14:10 (#)
Ranking: -2
dead? me??????
-------------------
Fuckin internet shenannigans.
Post moar.
Submitted by diavola (user info) at 2007-02-22 04:32:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I wish this series could have lasted forever...but alas :(
brilliantly funny stuff.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-12-10 02:30:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you've been gone so long
well i've gotten laid that how long
email me you fucker
and by fucker I mean I luv you
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2006-12-03 01:14:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
dead? me??????
Submitted by TheCrystalShip (user info) at 2006-11-28 21:40:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-10-14 15:33:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TheCrystalShip (user info) at 2006-10-14 15:16:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know how to prove to you that he has passed. I could scan the obituary that was in the paper, but that is not real proof as anyone could easily create a fake obituary. I have no online sources either.
I had only met him a few times, he was a little metrosexual for my taste, but all in all he was a good guy. He lived a good life, RIP.
They post obituaries online in the local papers. Whereabouts was he from?
-----
I lied.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-10-14 15:33:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TheCrystalShip (user info) at 2006-10-14 15:16:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know how to prove to you that he has passed. I could scan the obituary that was in the paper, but that is not real proof as anyone could easily create a fake obituary. I have no online sources either.
I had only met him a few times, he was a little metrosexual for my taste, but all in all he was a good guy. He lived a good life, RIP.
-----
They post obituaries online in the local papers. Whereabouts was he from?
Submitted by TheCrystalShip (user info) at 2006-10-14 15:16:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know how to prove to you that he has passed. I could scan the obituary that was in the paper, but that is not real proof as anyone could easily create a fake obituary. I have no online sources either.
I had only met him a few times, he was a little metrosexual for my taste, but all in all he was a good guy. He lived a good life, RIP.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2006-10-09 11:33:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-07-07 06:51:14 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TheCrystalShip (user info) at 2006-07-04 17:42:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
Grimm died last week. I thought everyone should know, there will be no more "dude" posts.
--------------------
Straight out of Compton, another crazy ass nigga, more punks I smoke, yo, my rep gets bigger.
=======================
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHA
Submitted by fuzzy_buzz (user info) at 2006-10-09 11:29:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
VVV Confused. Is Grimm deceased or is he steering clear 'cos he is pissed off as people slated Julie?
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-09-23 23:37:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-09-22 15:36:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
His real name was Terry Pratt, I'm searching it on Google and can't find any obituaries. Link to proof of his death.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by TheCrystalShip (user info) at 2006-09-22 15:28:13 (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes, he really is dead. He died on 6-28-06 in an automobile accident.
========
TheCrystalShip , how do you know this?
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-09-22 15:36:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
His real name was Terry Pratt, I'm searching it on Google and can't find any obituaries. Link to proof of his death.
Submitted by TheCrystalShip (user info) at 2006-09-22 15:28:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes, he really is dead. He died on 6-28-06 in an automobile accident.
Submitted by extacy_red (user info) at 2006-09-13 20:18:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YARG!
Submitted by extacy_red (user info) at 2006-08-08 16:21:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
We still love you.
Come back?
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-07-10 02:05:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-04-21 15:55:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
he writes like a boy. maybe you're just prissy. but the tool ownership proves you are not gay.
-------------
Unless you are female, then you are most assuradly ghey, and wear flannel.
Grimm's not really dead.
Is he?
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2006-07-10 00:49:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I'm here my child. Your god is dissapointed in you.
Submitted by extacy_red (user info) at 2006-07-10 00:37:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Would you come back if I offered sexual favors?
Or free drugs?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-07-07 06:51:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TheCrystalShip (user info) at 2006-07-04 17:42:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
Grimm died last week. I thought everyone should know, there will be no more "dude" posts.
--------------------
Straight out of Compton, another crazy ass nigga, more punks I smoke, yo, my rep gets bigger.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-07-07 06:41:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No idea but you're a cunt for making me think this was a new post.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-07-07 06:31:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
dead? Any confirmation on this?
Submitted by fuzzy_buzz (user info) at 2006-07-07 06:29:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TheCrystalShip (user info) at 2006-07-04 17:42:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
Grimm died last week. I thought everyone should know, there will be no more "dude" posts.
----------------------------
What have i missed here.
Submitted by TheCrystalShip (user info) at 2006-07-04 17:42:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Grimm died last week. I thought everyone should know, there will be no more "dude" posts.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-05-19 10:40:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I suggest a Chomp. They're only 10p (15c)
Submitted by extacy_red (user info) at 2006-05-08 09:41:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I want another dude post.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-05-04 17:07:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
well, I'm guessing since Grimm isn't posting anymore, he's banging the crap out of Julie right now - lucky bastard...
Submitted by no_one (user info) at 2006-05-02 12:24:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
We need more Dude. We're all addicts here.
Submitted by southernmiss (user info) at 2006-05-01 13:33:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What is up with the Dude, Dude??
Submitted by evesapple (user info) at 2006-04-28 08:29:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ugh! "julie" leave him alone, homewrecker!
we need grimm to entertain us! LEAVE HIM BE!
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2006-04-25 11:55:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahhh that's better! Been waiting for some dude upstairs action!
Grimm you rule man, I'm in England, if you find yourself round near the Midlands drop me an email and we should hook up for a smoke and a beer, with any luck you could bring the dude! That would be awesome!
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2006-04-25 08:58:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
love it love it love it! I'm an ex-pat in Spain, come visit. And you should deffinately go traverling with the dude, you could write a book on those adventures!
......love it!
Submitted by jokr2581 (user info) at 2006-04-24 16:41:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Grimm, I need my fix man. I need my fix.
Submitted by fuzzy_buzz (user info) at 2006-04-24 08:21:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.dvd.reviewer.co.uk/info/multiregion/hackable.asp
I have used this one as well. Actually I believe this one is a better site.
Submitted by fuzzy_buzz (user info) at 2006-04-24 08:09:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2006-04-21 14:03:32 (#)
Ranking: 0
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by rougeogre (user info) at 2006-04-21 14:01:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
Many European DVD formats aren't compatable with US players either. Sorry Dude! Love these stories.
___________________
*slaps forehead*
Why didn't I think of that?!?! I've only bought at least 20 fucking movies off ebay that ended up not working and had to be sent back....I will mention this him.
-----------------------------
You can unlock your DVD to be Multi regional yourself. That is what i did to mine so i can buy DVD's from abroad. I used this site: http://www.dvd365.net/?hacks/hacklist.htm. There are loads out there though a lot of them do charge (This one is free).
Submitted by phauna (user info) at 2006-04-24 07:29:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No need for a pic of you, though.
Submitted by angel_2k01 (user info) at 2006-04-24 06:45:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
go to manchester if youre coming to england.
Submitted by chgable (user info) at 2006-04-24 05:19:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This series is the best in a long time
Submitted by deedee (user info) at 2006-04-23 23:53:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you should get him some irish cadburys, its nicer than any other (biased me?) oh and some tayto crisps, so good!
gettin him the burger wrapper n servin him one hot is a fantastic idea!! do it!!!
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2006-04-23 09:38:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I agree with mynameistim. I don't want to see a picture of him. It would kill my
mental picture.
He actually wrote out 'ha ha'.
HAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by PrevertEnabler (user info) at 2006-04-23 08:52:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love it. It's crazy how much The Dude reminds me of my friend Mark.
Submitted by Snalty (user info) at 2006-04-22 13:59:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Paris is fabulous.
Also, I think the only girls who write like that are hairy, ugly girls.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-04-22 05:54:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ohhh let me know if you want any travel advice- I live in England and have been all over Europe.
uberc1ndy.at.gmail.com
Submitted by ChaosTheorySD (user info) at 2006-04-22 05:05:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Didn't you say the Dude usually leaves typed notes?
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-04-22 02:15:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
no. i don't want to see a picture of Dude. if i do, then the image of him looking exactly like the hippie dude who gets busted for the huge bag of weed in Harold and Kumar go to White Castle will be not valid.
can't find a picture of him.
Submitted by extacy_red (user info) at 2006-04-21 18:18:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-04-21 16:34:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
MUST GET:
pic of Dude
pic of Julie
--
The man is right.
Submitted by extacy_red (user info) at 2006-04-21 18:14:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YAY!
now time to read
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-04-21 16:34:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
MUST GET:
pic of Dude
pic of Julie
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-04-21 16:03:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i might do a post on suggestions of presents for "dude"
here's a sneak preview:
materials:
polyester resin. it's the shit they use to encase things in plastic. a lot of it.
large plastic bowl
road kill. preferably squirrel or possum.
you figure out the rest...
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-04-21 15:55:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
he writes like a boy. maybe you're just prissy. but the tool ownership proves you are not gay. rejoice! you must find me a european penis troll too!!!
good luck in europe and stuff. i take postcards too.
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2006-04-21 15:40:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Take your time, prob. won't be able to get back to ya till Monday
=================================================================
My 2 cents have been sent to your e-mail. We could be on to something here.
Submitted by Luckystar (user info) at 2006-04-21 15:36:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you should just get him a quarter-pounder but save a 'royale' wrapper from europe, wrap it up and serve it to him hot, he'll be astounded
Submitted by ThatsGodToYouBitches (user info) at 2006-04-21 15:14:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well there's your camwhore of the Dude. Buy him a Quarter Pounder and remind him he agreed to take a picture with a Royale with Cheese, which is the same thing.
Submitted by msambiguous (user info) at 2006-04-21 14:57:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Actually those DVDs can be formatted to work in American players at some small stores...you just have to find out where and if its worth it. You definitely don't want to spend more converting it than you did on the dvd itself, but the dude may be into that???
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2006-04-21 14:12:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Oxymoron (user info) at 2006-04-21 14:08:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
But, it's for the DUDE!!!
________
Everyone seems to love this line. If only there was an uberite who worked for customs, it would work.
Submitted by Oxymoron (user info) at 2006-04-21 14:08:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
But, it's for the DUDE!!!
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2006-04-21 14:03:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by rougeogre (user info) at 2006-04-21 14:01:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
Many European DVD formats aren't compatable with US players either. Sorry Dude! Love these stories.
___________________
*slaps forehead*
Why didn't I think of that?!?! I've only bought at least 20 fucking movies off ebay that ended up not working and had to be sent back....I will mention this him.
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2006-04-21 14:02:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2006-04-21 13:56:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
Dear lord, we couldn't even start to make that up. Golden.
Got your e-mail - I'm working on it this afternoon (I hope)
_____________
Take your time, prob. won't be able to get back to ya till Monday
Submitted by rougeogre (user info) at 2006-04-21 14:01:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Many European DVD formats aren't compatable with US players either. Sorry Dude! Love these stories.
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2006-04-21 13:56:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dear lord, we couldn't even start to make that up. Golden.
Got your e-mail - I'm working on it this afternoon (I hope)
Submitted by BrownEyedGirrl (user info) at 2006-04-21 13:50:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:20:42 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by crsunlimited (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:16:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
Here is a suggestion. How would Dude know the difference if you bought a Quarter Pounder in Europe, kept the wrapper, and then bought one state side and wrapped it in the wrapper from Europe?
This would be fun to do only if you where watching him eat it, and listening to his comments about how it's way better then the ones the make here. lol.
_________________
This is a very good idea actually, I could do that with the candy and porn too...
===============================================================================
I LOVE your DUDE stories!!!!
Please take a picture of DUDE eating the burger upon your return!!
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2006-04-21 13:30:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2006-04-21 12:52:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
These are just to good. The Dude is the man. Oh and does he like White Russians and bowling?
_______________
I think he just drinks beer. I offered him a glass of wine once and he just kind of looked at it.
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2006-04-21 12:52:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
These are just to good. The Dude is the man. Oh and does he like White Russians and bowling?
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:20:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by crsunlimited (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:16:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
Here is a suggestion. How would Dude know the difference if you bought a Quarter Pounder in Europe, kept the wrapper, and then bought one state side and wrapped it in the wrapper from Europe?
This would be fun to do only if you where watching him eat it, and listening to his comments about how it's way better then the ones the make here. lol.
_________________
This is a very good idea actually, I could do that with the candy and porn too...
Submitted by MonkeyingAround (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:17:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha! I'd like to see you swallow a condom full of weed. Then when you finally have it pass go about picking it up and having to clean it. Yah good luck on that one!
Submitted by crsunlimited (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:16:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Here is a suggestion. How would Dude know the difference if you bought a Quarter Pounder in Europe, kept the wrapper, and then bought one state side and wrapped it in the wrapper from Europe?
This would be fun to do only if you where watching him eat it, and listening to his comments about how it's way better then the ones the make here. lol.
Submitted by crsunlimited (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:11:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"But, it's for the DUDE!!!"
-------------------------
Nuff said
Submitted by TheCrystalShip (user info) at 2006-04-21 10:38:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Just put your grass in a condom and swallow it. It should be nothing new for you :)
Submitted by Hentrina (user info) at 2006-04-21 09:38:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Welcome Back the Return of the Dude!!
Sorry to burst Dude's bubble, but in England a Quarterpounder with cheese is called a Quarterpounder with cheese, so you may have to visit Paris for that item on the list!
"C'est tout ce que j'aime"
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-04-21 09:36:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
get him any candy made by cadbury in england. like flake....i miss that shit.
don't risk anything from amsterdam...when they see that stamped on your passport they will look at your shit closely. the only safe place to store stuff like that would be tucked under your nuts. really, seriously. if they get that far in their inspection with you, that means they were tipped off, and you're done anyway. but for the average person, the panty tuck works well.
*note, i've never done this, i'm just going off of what i heard from a customs person i know
Submitted by Jimmo (user info) at 2006-04-21 09:25:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Having lived round Europe, I'm probably best placed for candy advise.
I've tried American "chocolate", Hershey is (trying not to insult 80% of Ubersite) not world class.
Any of the following will blow his brain:
Best Praline in't world EVAAAAAA:
http://guylian-choc.com/eng/prd1.htm
The British entry for global chocolate domination:
http://www.cybercandy.co.uk/aaasmt/index.php/url_indprod/xlc_2613/Cadburys%20Creme%20Egg%20Bar.html
Dutch Licorice is unique and as varied as chocolate:
http://www.hollandsedrop.com/
My favourite: Kokindjes
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-04-21 09:15:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
still good
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-04-21 09:03:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
FUCK-ER
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2006-04-21 08:56:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-04-21 08:51:45 (#)
Ranking: 2
What the fuck is a newspaper that's in English but it's not? And perhaps I'm not catching it, but does he want you to ship him something illegal from Amsterdam?
BTW--you have gold with these dude posts.
_____________
I assume that he meant an English language non-British newspaper.
Dude's dreaming if he thinks I'm gonna smuggle for him. I wouldn't even smuggle for myself.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-04-21 08:51:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What the fuck is a newspaper that's in English but it's not? And perhaps I'm not catching it, but does he want you to ship him something illegal from Amsterdam?
BTW--you have gold with these dude posts.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-04-21 08:47:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Please stop typing Julie as "Julie" we all know it's not her real name and it makes her sound made up.
And inflatable.
*blows kiss*
Submitted by Leonfc (user info) at 2006-04-21 08:46:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ooooh....that's better. My dude fix for the week.
Next gift should be one of the following:
A stuffed badger that you've shaved
A pair of cheap ass sunglasses (lenses removed)
An old pair of trainers (sneakers) that you've cast in Jelly (Jello)
Cling film his doorway
a packet of bombay mix and some toilet roll
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-04-21 08:30:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
He DOES write like a girl
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-04-21 08:18:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2006-04-21 08:16:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is the best in the series so far
Submitted by GoldPlatedOrange (user info) at 2006-04-21 08:12:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hehe the dude rules, shame about letting Julie post on your Uber, that was weak man...
Submitted by MichelleNJ (user info) at 2006-04-21 08:00:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Um.....Yeah." Think of the image going through my head at this point - "But, it's for the DUDE!!!"
--
That one made me laugh.
Off to read the rest.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-21 07:46:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
All smiley and shit
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2006-04-21 07:35:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sinna (user info) at 2006-04-21 07:28:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wooo, first review, go me.
Submitted by sinna (user info) at 2006-04-21 07:21:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fair play.