Part 1 of 3 - The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly: Cuberat Reviews Chicago Strip Clubs (1311 hits)
Category: SportsRating: 0.83 on 7 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Cuberat (View user info) at 2006-04-21 09:40:10 EDT
By popular request: Cuberat reviews Chicago's strip clubs
This is Part 1 of a 3 part series.
I was inspired by Rad's posts reviewing Las Vegas strip clubs...so here is my first attempt at a review of Chicago's strip clubs.
I would like to clarify that when I speak of quality in the forthcoming reviews, I take into account not only physical looks, but also attitude and how personable the women are.
A little background info on the Chicago scene. For the best clubs, you really need to travel outside the city. The City of Chicago has banned alcohol in combination with full nudity, so you only get topless clubs or so-called "lingerie shows" where the girls are wearing pasties or very skimpy coverings.
That said, there are clubs in the city that do full nudity and don't serve alcohol. Personally, I would rather make the short drive to the 'burbs because of both the quality of women and the alcohol factor, but to each his own.
Now on with the show...
Cuberat's Top 5 - The good:
5. Silver Slipper Saloon - Ok, this one is way out in the boonies (Ottawa, IL), which is why it only comes in at #5. However, it makes the list because it is an all-around awesome club. Full nude, drink prices are reasonable, lap dances are only $20 (full contact), and stripper quality is not an issue. If you're willing to make the long drive out there, you won't be disappointed.
4. Jimmy's Resturant - This one is in Chicago Heights, a near south suburb. This place is an all around good joint. This was the first strip club I ever went to, and was a staple for my friends and I during breaks from college. The girls are full nude, cover is only $5. Drinks are where they get you - a pitcher of MGD is $11. But it evens out, dances are only $10, and they have one hour every night (usually around 11pm) where the girls do $1 dances. Admittedly, the girls are minor league-ers when compared to the remainder of the top 5, but still better than the price of the dances suggest.
3. Industrial Strip - Just across the border in Hammond, Indiana (really, another south suburb) the Industrial Strip is where you want to stop and blow your money on the way back from the casinos in Indiana. Full nudity, unfortunately no bar. Dances are $25, but the girls will make you forget the amount of money you are tossing at them, as you marvel at the model quality strippers. Cover is $11 on the weekends.
2. Club O - Just south of the city in Harvey, IL, this is the place to go if you have lots of cash and a fetish for smokin' hot girls. The girls are hot, but a dance is $30, the most out of any place I've been, and these girls expect a nice tip on top of that. Drinks are not cheap. What makes this place is that the atmosphere and the quality of the girls will make you feel like a VIP. Dress a cut above if you want the best girls to come talk to you.
And Cuberat's #1 Chicago strip club pick...drum roll please...
1. Skybox - Another well known Harvey establishment. Most of the girls here are just as good as their competition down the street at Club O. What puts the 'box out in front is the fact that if you go between Monday and Thursday, your $10 cover gets you unlimited all you can drink domestic beer and well drinks, as well as free pizza. Top that off with the fact that dances are $20 and done in a semi-private secluded section, with full nudity and contact, and you have a winning combination.
Soon to come...Parts 2 & 3...
Also, if anyone would like to suggest any clubs for review - I am open to your suggestions and my buddies and I are willing to investigate and do a thorough review.
User Reviews
Submitted by phels97 (user info) at 2006-05-23 14:04:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If anybody from CT is reading this, or Mass..they have probably heard of Mardi Gras, and Mardi Gras II...both are awesome. girls are BLAZIN..drinks aren't bad at all, full nudity, and full contact...alittle extra if you ask the right girls for the right price as well.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-05-23 13:59:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"Cozy with the French? As I recall we were kicking your ass before they decided it would be nice to tag team your limey asses.
Oh and if I remember correctly we bailed both yours and their ASSES out of two world wars. So if I were you Brits, I would pipe down before we decided that insted of colonizing sand dunes in the middle east we would like an island in the north atlantic."
Wrong and wrong.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-04-26 12:35:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by cuberat (user info) at 2006-04-26 09:42:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
har har AIDS peener
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-04-21 10:21:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Incidentally, which part of Chicagoland you live around? Like I said...I'm just a hair outside of Peoria myself.
You planning on attending the July Ubercon in Chicago?
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-04-21 10:20:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wait...wait a minute...
Ottawa is NOT in the "boonies" of Chicago suburbia. It's nowhere NEAR Chicago...Ottawa's only slightly over an hour from me (Peoria)...Chicago is an hour and a half PAST that, and you don't even hit the southmost suburbs until at LEAST 45 minutes outside downtown Chi-Town. Truly, you can't rate it as a "Chicago" club.
Nonetheless, I will most definitely look to check out the club in Ottawa next time I'm up around Starved Rock.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-04-21 09:57:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is like Zagat but different.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-04-21 09:47:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
should have done the bad and the ugly first, i mean you mentioned the good ones...who is really going to give a fuck about the bad ones?