88 Lines about 44 Uberwomen (3266 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: songs
Rating: 1.17 on 162 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Orgasmatron (View user info) at 2006-04-21 11:27:56 EDT
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-02-28 17:18:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
I better see my 88 Lines, pretty soon, bub....
"88 Lines About 44 Uberwomen"
Sacrilicious in her boots
A magdalene with scarlet hair
Ghola was a ninja girl
In black pajamas, quite the scare
Circe was an Aussie girl
Her accent brought me quite the laugh
Hilarity, in law enforcement,
Resembled a newborn giraffe
Kthsgoodgirl like old buttsecks
Inclined to do so in the house
JonnyX preferred thigh highs
And lingerie to skirt and blouse
Loki was a puffing girl
Her eyes all glazed in Carolina
Urbane was a foolish girl
She showed the world her bare vagina
C1ndy was a titty girl
Her breasts as big as mobile homes
Lisa was a cuntish girl
I left her crying there alone
Leilani with tattoo trails
Inked and blinked at Jersey men
Inion was armed for bear
Her fake dicks measured four to ten
Munkypants the birthday girl
A card and cake for everyone
Loren was an older girl
Her hands knew how to work my gun
Forensicgirl was made that way
I tried to make her something else
Jeanneee the Georgia peach
Her produce sits there on my shelf
Kristen was a fetish queen
She stuck to me like white on rice
Lojope cried all day and night
For people didn't treat her nice
Merlina, the fixer-up
I caulked up both her Fawlty Towers
Blinkish the vibrating girl
Would hum a single note for hours
Proofofpurchase was so proper
She would never miss a drip
Filthy was such an ice queen
That it would freeze right to her lip
Pentameter had attitude
Like saddled bulls at rodeos
Tiger was a soapy girl
I loved her little plastic toes
Sofie loved the king of pop
The king of kings, the shamone saint
Anansie lived down in the basement
Always wet with grease or paint
Ainkara was serious
She had no time for fools, no way
BadAssJulie, zut alors,
She made the neighbors watch us play
Crystle wanted to fit in
And so I helped her open up
Krissi, one more redhead gal,
Would sit there as I filled her cup
Peon's back was never straight
But she would always hide my bottle
CookieLass she loved it rough
And thus, when done, would always waddle
LadyPlural would ask for more
Insisted on her multiples
Mystia, my werewolf girl,
Came only if the moon was full
QueenAshlee lost jewels and crown
Like Antoinette, she lost her head
CarolRichards tried to step
She fronted, that bitch wound up dead
SolelyTrinity the bookworm
Made with me a pact and treatise
Flibble with her belly full
Went bareback, for she had a foetus
Stin was quiet as a mouse
No sqeak or pip she'd make for me
MistressFist a baking girl
Would serve up cupcakes one, two, three
Caul was justa would-be girl
He tried his best to play the part
BrownEyedGirl was such a brute
She'd hold me down and rip a fart
SpikeGoddess could not be found
Her presence often just a lie
MandaPanda, please excuse
My using you to say goodbye.
User Reviews
Submitted by delboy (user info) at 2006-08-31 18:01:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
couldn't find the knife one
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-06-20 02:07:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-05-31 18:46:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
still great
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-04-25 06:17:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
God I'm sick of this shit.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-24 19:47:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-04-24 18:51:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
Maybe I don't know how to read poetry, but I couldn't keep the beat right in my head.
Doesn't matter though.
Good stuff putting Johnny and Caul in there...
---
Give the original song a listen-to. It'll make a little more sense when you have something to use as reference. And you won't be able to get the 'mmmmmmmmmmmmm' out of your head afterwards.
Submitted by Brendon (user info) at 2006-04-24 19:39:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
vhat a vanker.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-24 19:25:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-04-24 19:17:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey O, do you have a night to go to hooter's this week?
=========
Uberwife says he's not allowed to go.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-04-24 19:17:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey O, do you have a night to go to hooter's this week?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-04-24 19:01:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2006-04-23 06:04:44 (#)
Ranking: -1
This reads like shit. I'm assuming that the people giving you +2s are doing so either by way of payment for putting their name in or in the hopes that you'll mention them in the next one.
-------
He didn't post it for your enjoyment, douchemonger - it was by request.
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-04-24 18:51:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Maybe I don't know how to read poetry, but I couldn't keep the beat right in my head.
Doesn't matter though.
Good stuff putting Johnny and Caul in there...
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-04-24 18:12:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
there's a lot of shit in there.
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-04-23 22:41:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're excused.
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2006-04-23 11:16:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
another Ace
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2006-04-23 09:28:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yay i'm here!
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2006-04-23 06:04:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
This reads like shit. I'm assuming that the people giving you +2s are doing so either by way of payment for putting their name in or in the hopes that you'll mention them in the next one.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-04-22 18:26:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
gave my bitch a twenty dollar bill
if that don't work my shotgun will.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-22 14:11:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
88 womenz in 44 towns.
Like Otis and The Elevators,
I've had my ups and downs.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-04-22 10:45:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am here to personally request another creepy poem like "The Hanging Tree," or "The Long And Winding Road." I think those two are my favorites, probably because there just can't be enough poetry about ripping out people's hearts and killing their cats.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-04-22 10:06:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2006-04-21 16:43:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
So many haters
So few brain cells
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-04-22 03:55:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oooh I'm in a poem.
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2006-04-22 03:34:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh my God, what are your deals? You people love to hate me. I'm not even that abrasive.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-04-21 22:53:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-21 22:32:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
SON OF A GOD DAMN BITCH.
struck out
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-21 22:29:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pujols up to bat and they went to commercial.
Damn shit. My ass they don't script this crap to cliffhang peoples.
I'll baseball drunken heat this a little more before I go back out by the nice bonfire I got going in my back lot.
shitfuck is my GOD.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-21 22:23:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You mean pulsehead?
I'm signing up there soon under a different name than what I use here.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-21 22:22:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was just checking out that other site.
It makes me feel weird..
like there's a party I'm not invited to, or like the cool kids are talking about me behind my back.
I'm serious.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-21 22:16:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Cards up 9 to 3 in the top of the 8th and shitfuck is a legend.
That's all I stopped by here to say.
I love good beer. Forgot that bit.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-04-21 21:33:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck all, I loved it.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-04-21 21:30:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Please stop responding to every negative rating you get
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-04-21 20:52:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Ok I checked; I've given him 0 on 6 and got from him five with ave 1.8
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-04-21 20:50:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Yeah I'm aware of it, but I thought this might be amusing with uber references, and its on most heated.
I'm pretty sure this is like the first or second of his posts I've ever rated, even though part of me wants to flame all of them and try and kill all poetry worldwide.
Submitted by secret_of_nimh (user info) at 2006-04-21 20:49:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
She showed the world her bare vagina <--- just that like alone deserves +2.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-21 20:34:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-04-21 19:55:51 (#)
Ranking: -1
I'd just like to mention, that i don't give a shit about any of that circular tigerlilly crap.
I just hate gaddamn poetry.
==========
Question- don't you pretty much have an idea of what you're getting with this Orgasmatron guy?
I mean, do people come to your posts and say "I hate people who like to change their name all the time", or "I hate when people keep having to repost"? Are those people Orgasmatron?
Maybe so, just curious.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-04-21 19:55:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I'd just like to mention, that i don't give a shit about any of that circular tigerlilly crap.
I just hate gaddamn poetry.
Submitted by Technoboy (user info) at 2006-04-21 18:47:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuck...
...I was expecting boobs
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2006-04-21 18:45:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2006-04-21 18:32:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuck you, O.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-04-21 18:29:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-04-21 17:29:46 (#)
Ranking: -2
whoring your poetry on the Uberboard is gay
-----
Caul already knows how ghey I am
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-04-21 18:12:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
aha, I know the feeling well 'Gasm.
Did you see the poem I left on Captain Thorny's 15 min challenge post??
You inspire me!
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-04-21 18:07:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Hooray for Chaucer
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-21 18:01:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Burnzorz is the condition that a man suffers from after prolonged exposure to Lisa.
It is traditionally associated with a severe itching sensation in the genitals and the feeling that "she could have done better."
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-04-21 17:56:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What is this BURNZORZZ that you speak of?
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2006-04-21 17:48:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You are a stud sir
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-04-21 17:45:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I've been asked plenty of times to STOP posting.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-21 17:33:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm too cheap for the Uberboard, Caul.
Talk to Jonny.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-04-21 17:29:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
whoring your poetry on the Uberboard is gay
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-21 17:15:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Caul was justa would-be girl
He tried his best to play the part
---
Ahahahahahaha I love this shit man.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-04-21 17:13:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I want to make love to shitfuck
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-21 17:12:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Like Lisa.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-04-21 17:07:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love UberWomenz!!
They all make me happy, even the shitty ones.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-04-21 16:51:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
listen you douches, I asked Orgasmo to make this, because I'm not good enough with the rhyming skillz - just fuck off if you don't like it, nobody made you read this
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2006-04-21 16:43:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So many haters
So few brain cells
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-21 16:42:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Brendon (user info) at 2006-04-21 16:39:00 (#)
Ranking: 0
u r a wanker
---
No, Brendon, I WILL NOT kiss you.
You won't get cool by hating me, FYI.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-21 16:41:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A post that has over 50 users' replies is a circle-jerk HOW exactly?
Submitted by MichelleNJ (user info) at 2006-04-21 16:40:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-21 14:50:56 (#)
Ranking: 0
Someone asked me to do this.
---
I see I'm not the only one who gets shit for posting something that was requested. I also didn't -2 you, though.
Submitted by Brendon (user info) at 2006-04-21 16:39:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
u r a wanker
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2006-04-21 16:28:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
circle jerk auto -2
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2006-04-21 16:26:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2006-04-21 16:14:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-21 16:01:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Since when do I share my rehashed, typical life in any of my posts?
I've dedicated, what, one post out of 153 to a night in my life and my thoughts on that.
Beyond mentioning the small detail here and there - I'm sick, I'm going to Vegas, there's this rash and growth and it's looking me in the eye - I'm basically the anti-Tiger.
If posting on Uber counts as 'sharing your rehashed, typical lives' then you're just as guilty buddy.
And nice trades today by the way.
Now who's sharing details?
Beating your chest in front of everyone won't make you less hollow inside, you know.
Bravado's a hell of a sign of insecurity. But I'm sure you'll just call it pride.
I figured it was you, Jonny, but I didn't want to speak to soon.
Thanks for that.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-04-21 15:57:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2006-04-21 15:45:21 (#)
Ranking: -2
Unlike most of you average cunts, I don't feel any need to 'belong'.
------------------
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
What a fuckin pussy.
Why don't you write some thing ORIGINAL for a change, you whiny douche?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-21 15:56:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great.
So, why are you still here?
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2006-04-21 15:55:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
For any of you average jerk off artists that would like to know what a real career is--here's the 12 trades I made this morning.
Enjoy the cake, bitches.
UTS Toronto 7.47 0.25 1,925,526 7.25 - 7.54
HBM Toronto 13.26 0.67 3,185,878 12.76 - 13.40
HAO TSX Ven 1.16 -0.03 189,575 1.14 - 1.18
EQN Toronto 1.92 0.05 3,877,849 1.86 - 1.94
CLL Toronto 4.26 -0.12 1,663,993 4.24 - 4.39
BVX Toronto 6.37 0.10 94,011 6.15 - 6.40
DND Toronto 4.00 -0.02 7,400 3.95 - 4.03
LIFC U.S. 23.05 0.66 665,259 22.12 - 23.10
PPTL U.S. 0.022 0.0004 272,000 0.021 - 0.023
NNO Toronto 5.74 0.20 884,808 5.59 - 5.81
PSP TSX Ven 0.99 0.00 26,000 0.99 - 1.03
BWNG U.S. 13.27 -0.44 1,929,748 13.05 - 13.82
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2006-04-21 15:45:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Unlike most of you average cunts, I don't feel any need to 'belong'.
You can all get together, bitch about your average paying jobs, your average apartments, your average futures--whatever makes you happy. To me, you're all a bunch of cubicle monkeys click clacking away, dying an inch at a time--enjoying the mediocrity and lack of expectation that the Great Silent Majority offers you.
I've got no problem +2ing you Orgasmatron, and when it comes to hitwhoring, you got nothing on me--but whenever I see shit posts like this--or just about any TigerLilly post--it makes me think of those grade school rejects that grow up to be popular jocks in high school, and then lumps of wasted potential by the time they hit 25. Pathetic and sad.
I suppose I should be happy for you, that you've all found this little happy place on the internet where you can share your rehashed, typical lives--but I guess I'm not that big of a person yet.
I just think the way you all love to suck each other's dicks is disgusting, and weak.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-04-21 15:43:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-21 15:32:05 (#)
Ranking: 0
Woo Uberboard.
Thanks...whoever.
------
geez, who else do you think would put it up there...I commissioned the work, remember?
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-04-21 15:35:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2006-04-21 14:44:03 (#)
Ranking: -2
People around here think ETS is crazy--but you won't catch him standing on the electronic corner offering to suck ass for a little bit hit action on some godfucked website.
Have fun dying slowly in that cubicle you share and making minimum wage--that's a wonderful life.
-----
That's EXACTLY what ETS does.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-04-21 15:34:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-21 12:28:10 (#)
Ranking: 0
inion - armed for bear...you're packing a lot of heat.
And no your name isn't obviously feminine but I've talked to you a lot and know that you're a she.
----------
hmmmm. am i nominally male or undefined? did you have to guess at seeing it or just straight think i was a dude? now i wonder. it ends in a vowel. a girly vowel. that makes it girly. right?
well that was some great girl logic there. dammit i am a chick.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-21 15:32:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Woo Uberboard.
Thanks...whoever.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-04-21 15:28:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-04-21 15:21:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-21 14:50:56 (#)
Ranking: 0
Someone asked me to do this.
-----
Yeah, I asked him to do this shitfuck, you plagiarizing numbnuts
Submitted by v8lover (user info) at 2006-04-21 15:20:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-21 15:14:32 (#)
Ranking: 0
Do whatever you've got to do to keep your diet straight, man.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
OK that was funny, here's your +2. :)
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-21 15:14:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Do whatever you've got to do to keep your diet straight, man.
Submitted by v8lover (user info) at 2006-04-21 15:11:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I hate you
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-04-21 14:55:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
last night i dreamt Loren1 put a roundhouse into somebody's face. i can't remember who, though. first time -and, hopefully, last- i've ever dreamed of anything related to Uber
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-21 14:54:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
People around here think Otron is crazy--but you won't catch him standing on the electronic corner relentlessly spamming posts or begging to join the circle jerk for a little bit of attention, negative or otherwise, on some godfucked website.
Have fun dying slowly under that black cloud that follows you around and making minimum wage--that's a wonderful life. Legend.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-21 14:52:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by kthsgoodgrl (user info) at 2006-04-21 14:49:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
*dies in peace*
---
If this didn't do it then the agéd buttsecks would have.
That colon can't take too much action in its advancing years, you know.
You're bound to tear something eventually, or bust a hip.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-21 14:50:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Someone asked me to do this.
I don't slave away in a study trying to come up with bigger and better ways to bring in hits.
Someone's just got diaper rash because he wasn't let in on the action.
That's so sweet.
Feel the burn, cunt.
Submitted by kthsgoodgrl (user info) at 2006-04-21 14:49:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wooo hooo!! My first mention in an Orgasmatron post!!
*wipes away tear*
I'm sooooooooooooo happy
*dies in peace*
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2006-04-21 14:44:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
People around here think ETS is crazy--but you won't catch him standing on the electronic corner offering to suck ass for a little bit hit action on some godfucked website.
Have fun dying slowly in that cubicle you share and making minimum wage--that's a wonderful life.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-04-21 14:42:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-04-21 14:10:20 (#)
Ranking: -1
Rhyming couplets -2
rhyming couplets that don't rhyme also -2.
As theres no -4 you can have -1.
I don't need to make sense
------
Dude, it's a song, it's not meant to scan 100%...see Shlongy's comments below
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-21 14:41:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2006-04-21 14:37:21 (#)
Ranking: -2
This post is pathetic on a scale previously unseen.
I'm feel sorry for you and your closeted life. Go get some sun.
---
My closeted life?
This took me 30 minutes to write.
I'll probably spend more time in the bathroom today, all said.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2006-04-21 14:37:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This post is pathetic on a scale previously unseen.
I'm feel sorry for you and your closeted life. Go get some sun.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-04-21 14:32:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
and again, I will be heat-whoring the of this post.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-04-21 14:31:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!
You did it justics my man, that was a very difficult assignment, but I knew that only you had to chops to pull it off.
absolute halarity!!!
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-21 14:14:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-21 14:09:10 (#)
Ranking: -2
Too bad Freddie Mercury's dead and you're not.
---
Keep drowing, Sphag.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-04-21 14:11:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-21 14:05:28 (#)
Ranking: 0
A Queen's tribute to Sphagnum can be found here:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/86951#1944757
------
That review was dripping with so much gay, I found myself intentionally drowning in it.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-04-21 14:10:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Rhyming couplets -2
rhyming couplets that don't rhyme also -2.
As theres no -4 you can have -1.
I don't need to make sense
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-04-21 14:08:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HOW did i miss this???
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-21 14:05:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A Queen tribute to Sphagnum can be found here:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/86951#1944757
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-04-21 14:02:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
A description of all Uberwomen can be found here :- http://www.ubersite.com/m/86951
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-04-21 13:58:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-21 13:18:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-21 13:15:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HawthorneHeights (user info) at 2006-04-21 12:59:54 (#)
Ranking: -2
Poetry is for fudgepackers.
=================
So is Hawthorne Heights, only it's whinier and requires no talent and more intentionally tousled hair, I bet.
God, you fucking suck.
---
hehehe
------
HAHA PEENO)r LOlZ!
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-04-21 13:58:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by BrownEyedGirrl (user info) at 2006-04-21 13:31:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Only in this weird twisted world of Ubber,
does being included in one of your poems make me happy!!!
I won't fart NEXT time - Promise **winks**
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-04-21 13:29:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you get a +2 for this
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-21 13:15:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HawthorneHeights (user info) at 2006-04-21 12:59:54 (#)
Ranking: -2
Poetry is for fudgepackers.
=================
So is Hawthorne Heights, only it's whinier and requires no talent and more intentionally tousled hair, I bet.
God, you fucking suck.
=========================
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH......HH go away you fagstalker
Submitted by cuberat (user info) at 2006-04-21 13:29:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Another spectacular O
Submitted by KatHunter (user info) at 2006-04-21 13:28:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Oh come on, O-tron! You'll only get a 1 for not including me :P
(I know I haven't been writing anything)
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2006-04-21 13:24:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate poetry, so I usually dont read your posts, but the Lisa crack was hilarious.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-21 13:18:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-21 13:15:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HawthorneHeights (user info) at 2006-04-21 12:59:54 (#)
Ranking: -2
Poetry is for fudgepackers.
=================
So is Hawthorne Heights, only it's whinier and requires no talent and more intentionally tousled hair, I bet.
God, you fucking suck.
---
hehehe
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-21 13:15:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HawthorneHeights (user info) at 2006-04-21 12:59:54 (#)
Ranking: -2
Poetry is for fudgepackers.
=================
So is Hawthorne Heights, only it's whinier and requires no talent and more intentionally tousled hair, I bet.
God, you fucking suck.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-04-21 13:08:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah! I made a list!
Thanks, O-man.
this made me chuckle
Submitted by HawthorneHeights (user info) at 2006-04-21 12:59:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Poetry is for fudgepackers.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-21 12:52:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Going back out in the yard, almost noon, I can open a beer.
Cardinals/Cubs series this weekend. My guys better not fuck it up. Again.
Have a weekend folks.
Hi ruthy.
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2006-04-21 12:43:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-21 12:17:51 (#)
Ranking: 1
What shameless whoring. This is sure to get at least 44 +2s though, eh? I actually didn't count.
You left out ruthy AND my Shelbyville chum, AshK, one of the most underrated writers on this site.
================
*smooch*
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2006-04-21 12:42:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2006-04-21 12:29:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-21 12:28:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
inion - armed for bear...you're packing a lot of heat.
And no your name isn't obviously feminine but I've talked to you a lot and know that you're a she.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-21 12:26:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-04-21 12:18:14 (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm gonna have to +1 you for poor form and meter in several parts here, O-Man.
---
Not all of the lines in the song work and flow properly either.
I wasn't going for perfect style here, but rather making lines that could be said to match the beat.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-04-21 12:17:46 (#)
Ranking: -2
JonnyX preferred thigh highs
And lingerie to skirt and blouse
-----
JonnyX is a dude, retard.
---
But (s)he as......nevermind dickshine.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2006-04-21 12:25:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You promised you wouldn't tell!
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-04-21 12:24:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
cock mobster - MC Paul Barman
I let my hair air dry thereby getting more hair pie
I want to fire blanks in Tyra Banks
I like shorn quim lasses in horn-rimmed glasses
but Cindy Crawford ...offered
I would keep a tidy room for Heidi Klum
I'm immersed in Kirstie Alley's thirsty valley
I would snore or sleep on Laura Prepon.
Shall I keep on? (Yeah!)
I'd feel the pubis of Mila Kunis
I've seen the trim of Tina M.
I'd crunch Thandie Newton like a candied crouton
And I'll disrobe Lisa Loeb
I want a smelly slice of Kelly Price
Plus get with the hairy scar of Teri Garr
Lisa Bonet: I'd like a piece of your day
I would jizz early inside Liz Hurley
I'm a braniac with a veiny sack
resting on the brow of Erika Eleniak (Ooh, wow)
She almost shrank off when I said, "Take your top tank off."
I draw a thousand times better than Robert Mankoff
I'm very p-proprietary with M-M-Mariah Carey
But she wants some silly cut up with Billy Crudup's butt up
I'm the most lonely fella without Toni Isabella
I'm truly the hero of Julie Shapiro
But I'm sure to spill sperm in Laura Silverman
I'm putting taxing long things in Maxine Hong Kingston
which brings in Amy Tan
She said, "Lay me, mon."
Cynthia Ozick takes off her clothes quick and likes exposed brick
I stuck my slim sword in Kim Gordon
Laetitia Casta is easily the boss of ya
Sigourney Weaver has a thrashing horny beaver
I'm having intercourse while listening to Winter Wars
Winona Ryder? Going inside her!
I want to get on the whole width of Anna Nicole Smith
Cock Mobster
It's a porn utopia
A cornucopia of warm fallopia
Cock Mobster
My dandy voice makes the most
Anti-choice granny's panties moist
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-04-21 12:24:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i thought i'd left a comment. fucking stupid ass mother fucking piece of shit licking computer.
anyway, +2 for loki's i liked hers best. but... what does "armed to bear" mean? and does my name make you think i'm a guy or a girl? going by name only.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-04-21 12:22:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
touche
Submitted by OneCheapGeek (user info) at 2006-04-21 12:22:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Kristen was a fetish queen
She stuck to me like white on rice
Lojope cried all day and night
Hey!!! Rape doesn't rhyme with rice!!
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2006-04-21 12:22:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wait, jonny X is a girl???
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-04-21 12:19:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I kinda figured I'd be in this one, too.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-04-21 12:18:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm gonna have to +1 you for poor form and meter in several parts here, O-Man.
And also for not referencing the most feminine Uberuser of all: Shlongy.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-21 12:17:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
What shameless whoring. This is sure to get at least 44 +2s though, eh? I actually didn't count.
You left out ruthy AND my Shelbyville chum, AshK, one of the most underrated writers on this site.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-04-21 12:17:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
JonnyX preferred thigh highs
And lingerie to skirt and blouse
-----
JonnyX is a dude, retard.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-04-21 12:16:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:56:50 (#)
Ranking: 0
The nails? sounds like a lame derivative of walk on the wild side
Trust me, the tune itself isn't even in the same WORLD as "Walk on the Wild Side". It's just some fairy techno dorks' attempt at being cute and getting laid.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-04-21 12:08:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sweet
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-21 12:04:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're such a whore.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-04-21 12:04:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
KÜNT!
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-21 12:02:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
We're all bi to a degree, my good man.
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-04-21 12:00:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Caul was justa would-be girl
He tried his best to play the part
++++++++++++++++
HA!
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:58:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Loki was a puffing girl
Her eyes all glazed in Carolina
Urbane was a foolish girl
She showed the world her bare vagina
_____________________
You have an unparalleled knack for rhyme.
Submitted by MichelleNJ (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:58:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:53:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
Silly, we live near Philly. We smell like cheesesteaks and the Schuylkill River.
--
Oh, and I guess it's better to smell like cheesesteaks than Camden. :)
Submitted by MonkeyingAround (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:57:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn, I got left out again... *sits in corner to pout*
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:56:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The nails? sounds like a lame derivative of walk on the wild side
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:55:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
wow, you are great at comebacks...
stick to poetry flamer
you know back in the day Shelley, Keats, and Byron were all bi
i guess you fit right in eh!
Submitted by MichelleNJ (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:54:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:53:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
Silly, we live near Philly. We smell like cheesesteaks and the Schuylkill River.
--
HAHAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by MichelleNJ (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:54:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So, basically, I'm just a great big giant douche and you - and all the 'forgotten' ladies - have my apologies
--
As long as you put me in the next time you do something like this :P
And whatever happened to the Uber Cemetery? Those were neat.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:53:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Silly, we live near Philly. We smell like cheesesteaks and the Schuylkill River.
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:53:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's ok, I forgive you. That's what I get for flying under the radar, I guess.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:51:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Does your keyboard smell like pastrami and ham, mofo?
Because I know your fingers do, sir chunkalot.
MMM LUNCHTIME
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:51:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
har har excellent
by far my fav:
Hilarity, in law enforcement,
Resembled a newborn giraffe
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:49:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
In case you're wondering whence this came from...
Deborah was a Catholic girl
she held out till the bitter end
Carla was a different type
she's the one who put it in
Mary was a black girl
I was afraid of a girl like that
Suzen painted pictures
sitting down like a Buddha sat
Reno was a nameless girl
a geographic memory
Cathy was a Jesus freak
she liked that kind of misery
Vicki had a special way
of turning sex into a song
Kamala, who couldn't sing,
kept the beat and kept it strong
Zilla was an archetype
the voodoo queen, the queen of wrath
Joan thought men were second best
to masturbating in a bath
Sherry was a feminist
she really had that gift of gab
Kathleen's point of view was this
take whatever you can grab
Seattle was another girl
who left her mark upon the map
Karen liked to tie me up
and left me hanging by a strap
Jeannie had a nightclub walk
that made grown men feel underage
Mariella, who had a son,
said I must go, but finally stayed
Gloria, the last taboo
was shattered by her tongue one night
Mimi brought the taboo back
and held it up before the light
Marilyn, who knew no shame,
was never ever satisfied
Julie came and went so fast
she didn't even say goodbye
Rhonda had a house in Venice
lived on brown rice and cocaine
Patty had a house in Houston
shot cough syrup in her veins
Linda thought her life was empty
filled it up with alcohol
Katherine was much too pretty
she didn't do that shit at all
Pauline thought that love was simple
turn it on and turn it off
Jean-Marie was complicated
like some French filmmaker's plot
Gina was the perfect lady
always had her stockings straight
Jackie was a rich punk rocker
silver spoon and a paper plate
Sarah was a modern dancer
lean pristine transparency
Janet wrote bad poetry
in a crazy kind of urgency
Tanya Turkish liked to fuck
while wearing leather biker boots
Brenda's strange obsession
was for certain vegetables and fruit
Rowena was an artist's daughter
the deeper image shook her up
Dee Dee's mother left her father
took his money and his truck
Debbie Rae had no such problems
perfect Norman Rockwell home
Nina, 16, had a baby
left her parents, lived alone
Bobbi joined a New Wave band
changed her name to Bobbi Sox
Eloise, who played guitar,
sang songs about whales and cops
Terri didn't give a shit
was just a nihilist
Ronnie was much more my style
cause she wrote songs just like this
Jezebel went forty days
drinking nothing but Perrier
Dinah drove her Chevrolet
into the San Francisco Bay
Judy came from Ohio
she's a Scientologist
Amaranta, here's a kiss
I chose you to end this list.
©1981,1984 The Nails
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:48:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oops...forgot to mention this horseshit "band" who did the original...The Nails.
I seem to recall that it's just one guy in the band.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:47:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:43:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:33:06 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:29:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
*cries*
---
Sorry, dear.
I figured with a name like 'ruthless' you were a guy.
==================================
I'm not and I have camwhores to prove it.
You've obviously never read my posts.
*cries more*
---
I've read your posts. Which makes it even worse that I didn't have you in here somewhere.
It's just that when I was putting together a list of women for the piece I tended to think of feminine names. Stardamage is a she, but she's not on here. Same reason - I don't automatically associate 'stardamage' with 'female.' When I was strapped for names I went to the ol' Uberdirectory and combed through the headshots to find other girlzz.
I couldn't start taking names for this and let people 'sign up' because that would have ruined the fun of it all.
So, basically, I'm just a great big giant douche and you - and all the 'forgotten' ladies - have my apologies.
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:43:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
As long as you didn't leave me out because you thought I was a guy, we can still be friends.
---
That's exactly why you weren't in here.
How about AlwaysAShe-Eagle? That'd have made it easier for me.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:46:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll hide your bottle anyday baby
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:45:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i have never reaped the rewards of your writing, sir. and i don't give a damn about the ladies... wait... i'm not gay... fuck.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:45:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i'm not reviewing the ladies queef, I'm reviewing you
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:44:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:39:41 (#)
Ranking: 0
gay
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:39:15 (#)
Ranking: -2
if you're going to name drop and you don't mention wardy, it's an automatic -2. sorry, it's the rules
---
The men of Uber have reaped the rewards of my writing for too long now.
Let's not disrespect the ladies with these childish attitudes.
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:43:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:33:06 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:29:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
*cries*
---
Sorry, dear.
I figured with a name like 'ruthless' you were a guy.
==================================
I'm not and I have camwhores to prove it.
You've obviously never read my posts.
*cries more*
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:43:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
As long as you didn't leave me out because you thought I was a guy, we can still be friends.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:42:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I used to actually own this CD by these one hit wonders...Tell Thorns to record this one.
I had to take off a point to feign bitterness over my DQ.
That's gonna hurt for a long time.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:41:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Merlina, the fixer-up
I caulked up both her Fawlty Towers
~~~
that has got to be the oddest thing said about me EVAR
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:40:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:39:41 (#)
Ranking: 0
gay
--------------
You know what isn't gay? Gish reviews
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:39:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
gay
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:39:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
shamone has a capital S
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:39:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
if you're going to name drop and you don't mention wardy, it's an automatic -2. sorry, it's the rules.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:39:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Aww, thanks for making me your best girl, big daddy.
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:38:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, didn't realize there were so many of us.
Thank you O-man *blows kiss and sticks out black tounge*
Submitted by MichelleNJ (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:37:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I meant "awww" to the poem. I didn't really expect you to include me since I'm only an active reviewer and not a poster.
It's cool though.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:37:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahaha
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:36:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Blew spots.
Not blew a spots.
Whatever.
See me, touch me, kill me.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:36:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I knew it! Damnit I knew it!
I knew as soon as I posted this the girls who I couldn't think of would come out of the woodwork.
And to think I blew a spots Caul and Carol Richards...
Sorry MichelleNJ...and anyone else who I'm clearly too dense to have thought of.
Wiki, too, I guess.
Who'd have thought there were this many girls up in this sausage fest?
Submitted by MichelleNJ (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:33:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awwww
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:33:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You can play with my toes any day.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:33:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:29:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
*cries*
---
Sorry, dear.
I figured with a name like 'ruthless' you were a guy.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:31:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
cute
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:31:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A nice tribute to the womenz of Uber.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:31:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Carol Richards isn't dead you bitch, she's doing great things in third world nations
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2006-04-21 11:29:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*cries*