Man fakes being a doctor to touch tits. (7894 hits)
Category: NewsRating: 1.66 on 48 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Doodles (View user info) at 2006-04-21 19:03:38 EDT
This sex news stuff has been going for me, so may I present:
http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/local/broward/sfl-cgrope20apr20,0,1450133.story?coll=sfla-news-broward
A Coconut Creek man posing as a doctor, complete with a black medical bag, was arrested Wednesday after he was accused of fondling two women under the pretense of giving them free breast exams.
The man is a motherfucking genius. I honestly did not believe that most women would be stupid enough to let a random man touch her boobs. I'm telling you right now if this is a case where he gets a jury; every non-homosexual man is going to vote not guilty. We would all hate him, however for thinking this up before we did, I mean come on guys this is gold, pure fucking gold.
Philip Winikoff, 76, walked up to a 36-year-old woman at a Lauderdale Lakes apartment complex and told her he was offering free breast exams Wednesday, said Hugh Graf, Broward Sheriff's Office spokesman. The woman let him in her apartment, but she realized after Winikoff began touching her that he wasn't a doctor, Graf said. She called the sheriff's office after he fled.
Philip Winikoff, Philip Winikoff, Philip Winikoff, say it three times fate it sounds like Philip Winkoff, which sort of sounds like wank off which means whack off, which of course means to beat your dick like it owes you money. All right so we have a woman who LET THIS MAN INTO HER APARTMENT, under the pretense that he was a doctor giving out free breast exams. NURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR, Can we say "mother of Electro?" Then she realized after Winikoff began slapping her titties her that he wasn't a doctor, oh-ho so you've had doctors manhandle your breast quite often then? Whore.
Later the same day, Winikoff allegedly accosted a 33-year-old woman in the same complex after persuading her to let him enter her apartment and examine her breasts, Graf said. Deputies found Winikoff walking in the 3200 block of Northwest 40th Street near the complex and arrested him. He was charged with two counts of sexual battery and two counts of battery.
Oh I so love that name, so it would seem that the ladies down in Florida aren't to bright Two women in the same apartment complex in the same day had there breast 'examined'. . He was charged with two counts of sexual battery and two counts of battery. Hold up, both of these women let the man into their home, let him fondle their breast, and never one questioned the man, yet still expect him to be convicted of sexual battery and battery? Well Jesus fucking Christ I want both of these women sentenced to death by anal horse fucking (like the man who died last year because of it, oh what an embarrassing way to die. I have no idea what I could say to his mother at the funeral it'd be something like "So your son liked big cocks huh?"), but you don't see me going to the legal system about it, do you? Oh no, I'm not a lazy bitch like these two, I'll go down to Florida with a well hung stallion and watch him anally rape them for being retarded myself, instead of waste the government's money on it. See, that patriotism right there, the fact that I care enough about this country to travel about 800 miles with a horse just so that there will be two less retarded sluts here.
"They believe there may very well be other victims out there and those victims may be embarrassed about coming forward, which is understandable," he said.
Of course it is, why if I was a woman and I let some random man feed me shit about a 'free breast exam Wednesday" and let him fondle my boobs, then I'd kill myself for being retarded and bring the average IQ of this country up a few points.
Oh, I almost forgot all women of Uber rejoice, for today is Friday and that means that I, Dr. Doodles Ph.D. will be giving out free breast and vaginal exams in the ally at 9 P.M. EST tonight.
User Reviews
Submitted by FlintofFred (user info) at 2009-01-25 12:43:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
STFU! MINUS TWO.
Submitted by Cardboard_Box (user info) at 2009-01-25 12:42:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
STFU! MINUS TWO.
Submitted by gazdemon (user info) at 2006-06-04 09:37:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Seeing as you didnt make this up, you just changed a few words.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-24 07:42:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Doodies (user info) at 2006-04-24 04:41:19 (#)
Ranking: -2
Sucks ass
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Woo! Someone hates me, oh yes they do. Get a life twat smear.
Submitted by Doodies (user info) at 2006-04-24 04:41:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Sucks ass
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-22 13:10:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-04-22 13:06:12 (#)
Ranking: 0
I did this.
I got through 14 free breast exams and one even leaded to an illegitimate child and I never got arrested.
It didn't even make the news.
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I'm betting that he's not going to be charged with anything.
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-04-22 13:06:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I did this.
I got through 14 free breast exams and one even leaded to an illegitimate child and I never got arrested.
It didn't even make the news.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-22 12:58:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hmm.. should I make a new post or let this one slide further down the front page?
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-22 11:42:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
More sex news:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/86912
Mayor caught working for stripclub AND Don't want no short dick Asian man
http://www.ubersite.com/m/86742
Bukkake to become a form of sexual assault in Connecticut(SFW)
Alabama man sues over sex-for-pay claim at Hooters restaurant
http://www.timesdaily.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060414/APN/604140841&cachetime=5
Mom: I took money for daughters' sex acts
http://www.poughkeepsiejournal.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060414/NEWS05/604140337/1009
Canada Post rejects topless stamps.... silly Canadians atleast they're not all gay like ours is.
http://www.winnipegsun.com/News/Canada/2006/04/17/1537169-sun.html
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-22 11:20:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-04-22 11:16:56 (#)
Ranking: 1
Well most men who use that excuse go to college for eight years. I see he found a loophole
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Of course he did the man is a genius after all.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-04-22 11:16:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Well most men who use that excuse go to college for eight years. I see he found a loophole.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-22 11:01:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-04-22 10:54:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
b@W
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Hardly b@w worthy.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-04-22 10:54:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
b@W
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-22 10:47:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-04-22 07:47:46 (#)
Ranking: 1
Been there, done that.
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Damn even a +1 from Shlongy.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-04-22 07:47:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Been there, done that.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-04-22 06:26:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
mental
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2006-04-22 05:59:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-21 20:13:31 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-04-21 20:09:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.tommyhabeeb.com/projects.asp
I found that with my own brain.
Virgins give the best head to t heir sweet baby girrrrrls whom they want tp pu tin the beyyer place with some kind og life plan and it all involves that vile stuff that comes in a can called 'american chesse food'.
None of it is pretty.
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Hahaha, I'm assuming this is our habeeb?
==
Can't be. That guy's from Texas, while our beeb is from Chicago.
Submitted by Serious_Melvin (user info) at 2006-04-22 00:31:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You may have a lower overall rating than georgemichael, but this post was solid +2 material.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-21 23:23:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by little_miss_know_it_all (user info) at 2006-04-21 22:45:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey-I am a florida women. Why wasn't I offered the free breast exam? Was there a memo I missed? What do I need to qualify?
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A little blowjob goes a long way, I'm just sayin'.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-21 23:22:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2006-04-21 22:48:56 (#)
Ranking: 0
That's nothing. Not too long ago, Oprah had a girl on her show who was talked into slicing her own nipples off with a regular old everyday razor OVER THE PHONE. Yup. Some dude called her, said he was a doctor, told her he'd had her medical tests back and she might have breast cancer. He then told her it would save time and money if she biopsied herself and instructed her to use her razor to cut off her nipples. You may think that the most retarded part about that was the action of cutting off her nipples. No. Oprah asked her if she'd been to see a doctor lately for a breast exam, and she said no. She hadn't been to a doctor in over a year, and even that visit was just to get a refill on her allergy pills. SHE HADN'T EVEN HAD A BREAST EXAM!
Oprah felt bad for her and hugged her while she cried. I wanted to jump through the screen and kick her in the teeth. Or maybe just call the show, say I was a dentist and that she had a cavity and could save time and money by kicking HERSELF in the teeth.
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See I just can't fathom how someone could be so stupid and not be retarded.
Psst cookie you're invited to the vaginal and breast exam in the ally by the way.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2006-04-21 22:48:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That's nothing. Not too long ago, Oprah had a girl on her show who was talked into slicing her own nipples off with a regular old everyday razor OVER THE PHONE. Yup. Some dude called her, said he was a doctor, told her he'd had her medical tests back and she might have breast cancer. He then told her it would save time and money if she biopsied herself and instructed her to use her razor to cut off her nipples. You may think that the most retarded part about that was the action of cutting off her nipples. No. Oprah asked her if she'd been to see a doctor lately for a breast exam, and she said no. She hadn't been to a doctor in over a year, and even that visit was just to get a refill on her allergy pills. SHE HADN'T EVEN HAD A BREAST EXAM!
Oprah felt bad for her and hugged her while she cried. I wanted to jump through the screen and kick her in the teeth. Or maybe just call the show, say I was a dentist and that she had a cavity and could save time and money by kicking HERSELF in the teeth.
Submitted by little_miss_know_it_all (user info) at 2006-04-21 22:45:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey-I am a florida women. Why wasn't I offered the free breast exam? Was there a memo I missed? What do I need to qualify?
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-21 22:07:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Oxymoron (user info) at 2006-04-21 21:59:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
That's the oldest line in the book...
much better than the; (F)ederal (B)ooby (I)nspector T-shirts I...uhh...see people wearing
+2 for BOOBIES!
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I've never seen that shirt I don't think. WOOOOOOOOOOO AKWARD SENTENCE STRUCTURE!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by Oxymoron (user info) at 2006-04-21 21:59:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's the oldest line in the book...
much better than the; (F)ederal (B)ooby (I)nspector T-shirts I...uhh...see people wearing
+2 for BOOBIES!
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-04-21 21:53:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would too.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-21 21:35:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A ruptured colon I think is what killed him Zak.
Submitted by secret_of_nimh (user info) at 2006-04-21 21:25:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hehe nice, like a bag of sand.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2006-04-21 21:05:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I must admit, I am curious as to what exactly killed this man. was he crushed beneath the horse? or did he catch a disease or something similar?
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2006-04-21 21:05:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
the below link kills firefox every time I look at it. something wrong with msnbc?
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-21 20:25:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2006-04-21 20:20:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
Here's the horse sex article.....I thought for sure that was just a comment in passing but fuck.....
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8589349
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Nope it really happened. Really how do you talk about someone like that to their parents, I for one, would not be able to keep from asking if his ass went back to normal after he died or if it just stayed open.
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2006-04-21 20:20:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Here's the horse sex article.....I thought for sure that was just a comment in passing but fuck.....
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8589349
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-21 20:13:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-04-21 20:09:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.tommyhabeeb.com/projects.asp
I found that with my own brain.
Virgins give the best head to t heir sweet baby girrrrrls whom they want tp pu tin the beyyer place with some kind og life plan and it all involves that vile stuff that comes in a can called 'american chesse food'.
None of it is pretty.
---
Hahaha, I'm assuming this is our habeeb?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-04-21 20:09:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.tommyhabeeb.com/projects.asp
I found that with my own brain.
Virgins give the best head to t heir sweet baby girrrrrls whom they want tp pu tin the beyyer place with some kind og life plan and it all involves that vile stuff that comes in a can called 'american chesse food'.
None of it is pretty.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-21 20:03:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-04-21 19:55:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
He's going down like a virgin on his one true love.
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SO poorly with much biting and gagging?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-04-21 19:55:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
He's going down like a virgin on his one true love.
Submitted by extacy_red (user info) at 2006-04-21 19:50:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-21 19:49:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
burn.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-21 19:41:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-04-21 19:37:15 (#)
Ranking: 1
Meh, he got caught.
Shipman, now he knew how to get what he wanted from the ladies and get away with it.
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I'm betting the case is thrown out, I mean they LET him touch them. It's not like he just copped a feel and ran away.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-04-21 19:37:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Meh, he got caught.
Shipman, now he knew how to get what he wanted from the ladies and get away with it.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-21 19:30:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-04-21 19:12:01 (#)
Ranking: 1
dang, so you have to have a black bag,eh?
<throws away t-shirt that says 'Free Breast Exams'>
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If you show me how to time the gun at SeaWorld just so, I can hook you up with a nice black bag.
Submitted by r0fl (user info) at 2006-04-21 19:24:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
For anal horse raping.
<Returns to Google>
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2006-04-21 19:23:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That man deserves a medal, not a prison sentence!
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-21 19:22:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That man is my new hero, right up trhere with Adam West and the tree men who jerked off on the girl's face in Conneticut and couldn't be charged with shit.
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-04-21 19:22:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
How did I not think of this?
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2006-04-21 19:18:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-04-21 19:18:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
GENIUS!
Submitted by CrunchyBits (user info) at 2006-04-21 19:16:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Funny article, funnier opinion. Writing was a little hard to follow at some points.
Anyways, I totally agree. I woulda been too embarassed to say anythng, Dipshits.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-04-21 19:12:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
dang, so you have to have a black bag,eh?
<throws away t-shirt that says 'Free Breast Exams'>