Two Years (755 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: these_actually_mean_something_to_me
Rating: 1.9 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Darko (View user info) at 2006-04-21 23:13:01 EDT
It's hard to believe it's been two years already. Two years since he decided he had enough. Two years since he gabbed those pills. Two years since he died.
I was the one who had to deal with the aftermath. I had to try to comfort and console everyone, assuring them that it wasn't their fault. Nobody could understand what drove him to that point. Nobody understood how he could be so selfish. Nobody understood that it was possibly the best thing that could have happened for him. Nobody needed to understand though. In all honesty, nobody wanted to understand. They all wanted to be lied to, and I knew he would want me to lie to them too, so I turned into a lying machine.
When every someone asks you a question, there is always an answer they want to hear. If you can figure out what that answer is, then they will believe it even if they know it isn't true. Even pessimists want to be optomists. During the first year I was on top of my game, it seemed as if everything I said was the "right" answer.
This past year has been different. People can't let the past haunt them forever, and they seemed to have come to terms with what had happened. Or maybe I distanced myself from them and just wasn't able to see their pain. I branched away from the people he called his friends and was able to make some of my own. I branched away from the people he loved and was able to love for myself. I was able to live.
But today isn't about me, it's about him. He died when he was 19 years old, and he wouldn't have had it any other way. He loved his life, and I know if he had to do it again he wouldn't change a thing. He was selfish, like all who commit suicide are, but what others saw as selfishness he saw as courage. The courage to be honest with himself and with everyone else. There just wasn't a place for him in the world anymore. So now he has found the tranquility he longed for, and he will forever rest in pece.
Today is the day to celebate his death. Happy Deathday to him, Happy Deathday to me.
User Reviews
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-04-28 08:50:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
:|
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-04-27 06:06:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sad story, darko.
Happy Deathday.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-04-26 03:54:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
EMO fanook
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-04-26 01:14:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Want to make fuck fuck fuck to your butt butt butt.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-04-22 16:07:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-04-22 13:12:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
May he rest in peace.
Good for you being the person that you are. It's hard to see the world through this angle, especially in a situation such as this, but as the saying goes, "the hard thing to do and the right thing to do are usually one in the same."
Happy Deathday.
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-04-22 02:53:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that's what i was guessing. good post, i mean there's nothing really special about the writing or anything, it's just... introspective. and it's rare that introspection makes for a good read.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-04-22 02:18:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-04-22 02:07:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Istaros, I knew it, but this showed me the extent of what people would believe if they really wanted to.
Submitted by turkishblend (user info) at 2006-04-22 01:59:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"He was selfish, like all who commit suicide are, but what others saw as selfishness he saw as courage"
Good on him, people are always on about how selfish suciders are, ignoring the irony of how selfish they are being in demanding that a person stay alive solely because it comforts them that he/she should do so. As far as I am concerned, we are given life weather we choose it or not, and in no way is it ignoble to reject it, existence can be, depending upon your situation, a very harsh sentence. Those who choose to reject it, for what ever reason, are not cowards but merely sentient beings expressing their discontent with the nature of life and the human condition in general. If they choose death over life that is there decision, and I will respect it.
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-04-22 01:54:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
did this make you realize the things you're talking about in this post? the whole 'everybody wants to hear a certain answer' thing. or did you know it beforehand?
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-04-22 01:32:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I <3 Emo Darko
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-04-22 01:28:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
. .
(2 points)
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-04-21 23:48:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sho shweet.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-21 23:19:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's not always easy to be the lying machine.