Wife has preteen kids take nude pics. (41085 hits)
Category: NewsRating: 1.59 on 50 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Doo( Über's sex news anchor)dles (View user info) at 2006-04-22 23:41:32 EDT
Other sex news posts:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/86912
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http://www.ubersite.com/m/86742
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http://www.ubersite.com/m/86969
Man fakes being a doctor to touch tits.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/86993
Mom pimps out her under age daughters in New York
<News Theme Music (intro)>
</News Theme Music (intro)>
"Hello citizens of Über, welcome to another edition of WSTD Über's sex new show with your anchor Doodles. Tonight our main story..." <shuffles papers>
"Shit Diane, you daft cunt where is our top story?"
"Right here Doodles." <hands over paper>
Right, so as I was saying our top story tonight, retarded wife admits to letting preteens take nude pictures of her."
http://www.nj.com/news/expresstimes/pa/index.ssf?/base/news-5/1145679086125460.xml&coll=2
Julie Figueroa's husband told police he overheard his wife tell someone during a telephone conversation that she had nude pictures of herself.
When he later confronted her, she allegedly confessed to having the photos taken.
All right own up to having nude pictures taken, that's fine he won't be too mad at you for that if they are tasteful.
<commercial break brought to you by Dr. Doodles, reminding you that there are free breast and vaginal exams in his bedroom all weekend.>
But what alarmed him even more than the confession was who took the photos. Figueroa, 43, allowed two preteen children to shoot the pictures from a cell phone camera March 24 at her former South Side residence.
WHAT?!?! You acutely TOLD him that? You really are a stupid bitch you know that? Like he would have know about that if you hadn't told him. Jesus, say you got professional pictures taken for him for his birthday or something. How retarded are you exactly? This ladies, gentlemen, gays, lesbians and transvestites is another bitch who needs to be anally raped by my horse.
On Friday, Figueroa, who now lives in Allentown, was arraigned on charges of endangering the welfare of children and corruption of minors. District Judge Nancy Matos Gonzalez committed her to Northampton County Prison in lieu of $7,500 bail following the afternoon proceeding
You know we in the USA need a charge of being retarded with the maximum penalty death by anal elephant rape and the minimum death by starvation. I think it would be an effective law for cleaning out the gene pool in fact I'm going to write Congressman Duncan about it right now.
<commercial break brought to you by rancher Doodles, reminding you to buy your very own stallion to anally rape retards today.>
According to court records, her husband told police he heard the phone conversation shortly after the photos were taken. He checked Figueroa's cell phone, discovered the seven pictures and printed them. He then confronted his wife.
Smart man, checking the evidence before confronting her. Too bad he married suck a stupid bitch, she must look great, I mean what else could make up for her retardedness?
Investigators brought Figueroa in for an interview on April 14. They showed her the photos her husband had printed, and she allegedly pointed out two photos taken by one child and another photo taken by the second child. She told police she didn't remember which of them shot the remaining four photos, records say.
Hold the fuck up you fucking retarded fuck. YOU TOLD THE FUCKING POLICE THAT MINORS TOOK PICTURES OF YOU IN THE NUDE? JESUS CHRIST ON THE SCALE OF RETARDS THAT GOES FROM 1 TO 10 YOU RANK A 999,999,999 (nine hundred ninety-nine million nine hundred ninety-nine thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine). You truly are a stupid bitch and need to die... NOW I mean damn you confessed to the police. I just can't describe how many shades of stupid that is. You NEVER confess, retard.
Jesus how can people be so stupid? I mean first she lets PRETTENS take her photo in the nude. Then she talks on the phone about it. She confesses to her husband and then to the police that minors took the pictures. By my calculation that's THREE STRIKES YOU'RE OUT!
"This is Doodles, reminding you not to be rated and saying goodnight Uber."
<outro theme>
</outro theme>
User Reviews
Submitted by spyder882001 (user info) at 2008-04-02 20:24:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
news has come a long way.
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2008-04-02 19:55:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks for my go home laugh...goodnight
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-04-02 19:35:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am not reading all that now, my eyes are tired and my vision is blurry. But I will!
Kudos to you for the hitwhoring scheme. :)
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-23 20:13:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
WOOOOOOO! 10k hits and stuff.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-23 18:50:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Heat review.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-23 17:55:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-04-23 17:31:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
Okay... here ya go.
"Scothy Scotch Scotch. I love Scotch."
Man... that word is hard to type that many times.
Now it sounds really wierd in my head...
Scotch scotch scotch soctch sochtchc schotoch.
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You're fucked up in the head kindly sir.
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-04-23 17:31:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Okay... here ya go.
"Scothy Scotch Scotch. I love Scotch."
Man... that word is hard to type that many times.
Now it sounds really wierd in my head...
Scotch scotch scotch soctch sochtchc schotoch.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-23 17:29:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
10 hits to 10k.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-04-23 16:39:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"I saw your videos and I thought you were hot.
You seem really deep and I like you a lot."
A regular Yeats in the making.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-23 16:34:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-04-23 16:27:03 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-23 00:50:30 (#)
Ranking: 0
Damn I sound liek that emo girl now Ya know I saw a bird dying and like I couldn't liek help it ya know I mean the birds are dying ya know?
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http://youtube.com/watch?v=d4NvDcdGmEI This is even worse.
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AHAHAHA. It's the same bitch. Good stuff, good stuff.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-04-23 16:27:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-23 00:50:30 (#)
Ranking: 0
Damn I sound liek that emo girl now Ya know I saw a bird dying and like I couldn't liek help it ya know I mean the birds are dying ya know?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://youtube.com/watch?v=d4NvDcdGmEI This is even worse.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-23 16:24:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by unknown9 (user info) at 2006-04-23 16:20:00 (#)
Ranking: 0
would you like me to go down on you?
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No, but Fat Tony would.
Submitted by unknown9 (user info) at 2006-04-23 16:20:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
would you like me to go down on you?
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-23 16:18:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by unknown9 (user info) at 2006-04-23 16:05:19 (#)
Ranking: -2
diputs elam a mi
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It dosen't matter what sex you are, you're still a cocksucking panty wearing, cum guzzling bitch.
Submitted by unknown9 (user info) at 2006-04-23 16:05:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
diputs elam a mi
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-23 16:03:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by unknown9 (user info) at 2006-04-23 15:58:54 (#)
Ranking: -2
You posted about me not leaving anything twice. Damn that must really blow your day over :(
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.hctib ,ecnes on edam tahT
Submitted by unknown9 (user info) at 2006-04-23 15:58:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You posted about me not leaving anything twice. Damn that must really blow your day over :(
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-23 15:58:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by unknown9 (user info) at 2006-04-23 15:55:38 (#)
Ranking: -2
HAHA, your mad because I won't post anything. Why would I bother posting something when all it will get is -2 Die insults?
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Because SURVEY SAYS!... You're a shitty alter! Yay!
Submitted by unknown9 (user info) at 2006-04-23 15:55:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
HAHA, your mad because I won't post anything. Why would I bother posting something when all it will get is -2 Die insults?
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-04-23 15:48:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
what a stupid bitch
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-23 12:33:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Woo heat review.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-23 11:48:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"This is Doodles, reminding you not to be rated and saying goodnight Uber."
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God damn it I meant retarded not rated fucking spell check.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-23 11:36:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by littledan (user info) at 2006-04-23 11:25:02 (#)
Ranking: 1
I want the pictures.
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Don't we all?
Submitted by littledan (user info) at 2006-04-23 11:25:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I want the pictures.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-23 11:24:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-23 07:20:55 (#)
Ranking: 1
Stay tuned. In the next book, Hermione Granger gets butt-slammed by Snape, and
Doodles sends Rowling a +2.
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The day that cunt or one of her books gets a +2 from me is the day I cut my dick off and suck it myself. And that's never going to happen.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-23 11:23:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-04-23 10:01:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
Back when I did 'Woodys news' I did a sperm special, i'll get the link.
Damn most of my old posts sucked.
Oh, they really sucked.
Aha found it. I even managed to fit my traditional headline into the theme.
Maybe I'll do more of them sometime.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/32122
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Back of Woody, this is MY news now.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-04-23 10:01:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Back when I did 'Woodys news' I did a sperm special, i'll get the link.
Damn most of my old posts sucked.
Oh, they really sucked.
Aha found it. I even managed to fit my traditional headline into the theme.
Maybe I'll do more of them sometime.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/32122
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2006-04-23 09:29:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha his penis is erect
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-23 07:20:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Stay tuned. In the next book, Hermione Granger gets butt-slammed by Snape, and
Doodles sends Rowling a +2.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-23 03:03:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2006-04-23 02:43:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I saw "preteen" and had to click. I was severely disappointed.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-04-23 02:25:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's wieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerd.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-23 00:54:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
All right kiddies Doodles needs to get his sleep so he can fuck many a whore tomorrow, tell circe 'I wanan tap dat ass' for me okay?
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-23 00:52:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Dude Bart's rating system is so fucked up, it was a 1.80 then 1.85 nw its 1.9 and I'm the the only one to ocmment on it..
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-23 00:50:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Haha I don't care. What's a 2 -2 0 1 -1 it all means shit in the end. Damn I sound liek that emo girl now Ya know I saw a bird dying and like I couldn't liek help it ya know I mean the birds are dying ya know?
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-23 00:48:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-04-23 00:46:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
I will reign down a neverending stream of -2's!
Fear my wrath!
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People on my list to have a horse anally rape:
indoninja
indoninja
indoninja
indoninja
indoninja
indoninja
indoninja
indoninja
indoninja
indoninja
indoninja
indoninja
end list.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-04-23 00:48:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
it was going to happen eventually.
feel free to drop-2 on my shit
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-04-23 00:46:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I will reign down a neverending stream of -2's!
Fear my wrath!
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-23 00:44:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-04-23 00:42:45 (#)
Ranking: 0
the bible has no rules.
if you want that read old school LSD, or the koran
if i had sandaaaals on, i would claim i was the lord
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Gah thanks for ruining my perfect +2s... whore.
What the ever living fuck are you smoking over there anyway?
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-04-23 00:42:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-23 00:37:39 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-04-23 00:26:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
sorry that is the bible...
if you look it as a rule of life you are screwed
at this point i want to marry 3 chicks or, crucify a new lord.
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Hmm, how about Circe, ghola Peon, and maybe make room for one male in that group? (me?)
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the bible has no rules.
if you want that read old school LSD, or the koran
if i had sandaaaals on, i would claim i was the lord
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-23 00:42:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2006-04-23 00:40:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
you're a smelly pirate hooker.
why don't you go back to your home on Whore Island?
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I was banned from whore island on acount of I gave them all AIDs, Herpies, the clap, syph, and cacer of the clit. Thanks for reminding me and making me sad. Fucker.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2006-04-23 00:40:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you're a smelly pirate hooker.
why don't you go back to your home on Whore Island?
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-23 00:37:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-04-23 00:26:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
In the Letter to the Hebrews in the New Testament, the Bible says:
Hebrews chapter 13 (NLT)
4 Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.
In the Book of Proverbs, the author wrote:
Proverbs chapter 6 (NRSV)
<insert biblical bullshit>
sorry that is the bible...
if you look it as a rule of life you are screwed
at this point i want to marry 3 chicks or, crucify a new lord.
---
Hmm, how about Circe, ghola Peon, and maybe make room for one male in that group? (me?)
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-04-23 00:36:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nobody got mad at my biblical lines.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-04-23 00:26:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
In the Letter to the Hebrews in the New Testament, the Bible says:
Hebrews chapter 13 (NLT)
4 Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.
In the Book of Proverbs, the author wrote:
Proverbs chapter 6 (NRSV)
20 My child, keep your father's commandment, and do not forsake your mother's teaching. 23 For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching a light, and the reproofs of discipline are the way of life, 24 to preserve you from the wife of another, from the smooth tongue of the adulteress. 25 Do not desire her beauty in your heart, and do not let her capture you with her eyelashes; 26 for a prostitute's fee is only a loaf of bread, but the wife of another stalks a man's very life. 27 Can fire be carried in the bosom without burning one's clothes? 28 Or can one walk on hot coals without scorching the feet? 29 So is he who sleeps with his neighbor's wife; no one who touches her will go unpunished. 30 Thieves are not despised who steal only to satisfy their appetite when they are hungry. 31 Yet if they are caught, they will pay sevenfold; they will forfeit all the goods of their house. 32 But he who commits adultery has no sense; he who does it destroys himself. 33 He will get wounds and dishonor, and his disgrace will not be wiped away. 34 For jealousy arouses a husband's fury, and he shows no restraint when he takes revenge. 35 He will accept no compensation, and refuses a bribe no matter how great.
Proverbs chapter 22 (TEV)
14 Adultery is a trap-it catches those with whom the Lord is angry.
Proverbs chapter 25 (TEV)
26 A good person who gives in to someone who is evil reminds you of a polluted spring or a poisoned well.
In the New Testament, the Bible says to Christians:
2 Timothy chapter 2 (NLT)
22 Run from anything that stimulates youthful lust. Follow anything that makes you want to do right. Pursue faith and love and peace, and enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts.
The Bible says that Jesus Christ said:
Matthew chapter 5 (NLT)
27 "You have heard that the law of Moses says, 'Do not commit adultery.' 28 But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust in his eye has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 So if your eye - even if it is your good eye - causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your hand - even if it is your stronger hand - causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.
31 "You have heard that the law of Moses says, 'A man can divorce his wife by merely giving her a letter of divorce.' 32 But I say that a man who divorces his wife, unless she has been unfaithful, causes her to commit adultery
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sorry that is the bible...
if you look it as a rule of life you are screwed
at this point i want to marry 3 chicks or, crucify a new lord.
Submitted by extacy_red (user info) at 2006-04-23 00:17:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-23 00:02:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh for fucks sake you're right I was looking at my watch that I haven't changed time for, stupid Doodles, stupid, stupid Doodles.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-23 00:01:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by eppliks (user info) at 2006-04-22 23:45:59 (#)
Ranking: 2
Only double-post I'll ever +2
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It wasn't a double post one was at 2 P.M. yesterday and one was at 12:30 today.
Submitted by eppliks (user info) at 2006-04-22 23:45:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Only double-post I'll ever +2
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-22 23:42:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I love the anchorman.