bob dylan (414 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: Best
Rating: -1.16 on 9 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by LSD 420 <lsd4444.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2006-04-23 10:05:40 EDT
Okay, this time it aint about bob dylan, so quit yer yappin, gosh darn kids, or I'll put the beatin' on ya.
Okay, so I went to the optometrist but it was like two in the morning or something so the doors were closed. Not to be deterred and partly because my old contacts wore out and I couldn't see very well, I accidentally tossed a dwarf through the window. "Nobody tosses a dwarf!" He screeched as he flew through the ten panes of 2 inch glass which protected the store from thiefs. Perscription lens thiefs. Yeah...
So first I jumped through because I am the ultimate champion of long jump, then my fellow companions did. First howlin wolf came through, then Martin Scorsese, then the underpants monster. The underpants monster, being an underpants monster, was a monster made of underpants. Unfortunately, he came into contact with my fiery hot hands of guitar shredding glory and he burst into these really crazy flames. We roasted marshmallows and told war stories for about a few hours and then the fire died. Then we all got really fucked up because the marshmallows were not in fact marshmallows but little bricks of heroin.
The optometrist came through the door and he was like "oh my god! I am the japanese man! I am the japanese man! I run the store!" His name was doctor ching chong bing bong ling long ging gong chan lee.
I pulled out my magic japanese man charming flute and calmed him down to a gentle purring beast. He took me into the office to test if my contacts worked. He put the right contact on his finger and tried to put it in, but instead, the bitch just scratched my pupil out! Immediately, I jumped out of the chair and pulled out like ten electric guitars. I played them all at once and the combined volume of me shredding on ten different electric guitars was insane, even without amps. His ears burst into flames and while he was subdued, I picked up his glasses. I shone a light on my teeth and using his glasses as a magnifying glass, I focused the white hot beam of pearly goodness into a powerful laser. I performed laser sugery on him even while he was on fire and rolling around. I picked his pupil off the ground where it fell out and jammed it into my eye with superglue.
Then we all went outside. Martin Scorsese died of cancer because I said so. Same with Howlin' Wolf. Instead, I went and chilled out with Tupac. These fine ass bitches came up to us and they each had like thirty boobs. Each. Me and tupac were like "hey bitches, yall wanna get wit dis? Yall gotta pay up". They were poor so instead we just tit raped them. This preacher saw us and he was like "THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELLS YOU TO STOP THAT!" Tupac looked at me and I was like "yeah dude, let's do it." We both jumped into the air and we were like "POWERS FUSE TO BECOME..."
"DOG FOOD DRAGON!!!" Then we turned into this giant dog food dragon monster made of dog food. We ate the preacher and his friends.
Then I masterbated in my own face the end!!!!!!!!!!!9!!!!!!!!!
It looked like this:
User Reviews
Submitted by unknown9 (user info) at 2006-04-23 15:52:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Here's just a +2
Submitted by LSD420 (user info) at 2006-04-23 12:31:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
haha, -2 list for life. Dude, its an honor
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-23 11:29:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
After last night, you are on my -2 for life list.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-04-23 11:25:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Your posting a little too much bro. You have potential to be one of those sick mother fuckers that are hillarious on uber. Don't post something as soon as it comes to your head. Think about things. When something makes you laugh write it down or just try and remember it.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-04-23 10:25:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Go take some lessons from The Bosh Man. . . .
Submitted by LSD420 (user info) at 2006-04-23 10:21:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I know eh? I can't handle this guy. He fucking sucks.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-23 10:19:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
For fucks sake.
Submitted by LSD420 (user info) at 2006-04-23 10:12:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
fascist
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-04-23 10:11:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
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