THE RETURN OF Terry the Turtle Amphibian! Wooot! Go Turry!! Series 2 - Episode 1. (940 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.87 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (View user info) at 2006-04-24 04:00:27 EDT
http://www.ubersite.com/m/68358 - pilot (episode 1)
http://www.ubersite.com/m/68377 - pilot (episode 2)
http://www.ubersite.com/m/68389 - pilot (episode 3)
http://www.ubersite.com/m/68404 - pilot (episode 4)
http://www.ubersite.com/m/68493 - pilot (episode 5)
http://www.ubersite.com/m/68631 - series (episode 1)
http://www.ubersite.com/m/68753 - series (episode 2)
http://www.ubersite.com/m/68815 - series (episode 3)
http://www.ubersite.com/m/69390 - series (episode 4)
Terry the Turtle Amphibian lay on his back and shielded his little little chelonian eyes with his little chelonian flippers from the fierce Cretan sun. He smiled to himself as he sipped his fresh pina colada, and thanked the waitress as she took his empty glass...
Evur sunce 'e ahnd Batfink 'ad made guud thar escape frum thar scrawny yut thoroughly ruthluss ahnd diabolicul Emanciated Controller, thunks mainly to thar brave ahnd sulfless actshuns of Rainbow Roger Bravo Force, 'e 'ad nuvur buun so 'appy.
'E wudd nuvur 'ad dared to imajunn just 'ow vust thar outside wurld was, lut alone expuct to advunchure in ut one day..
'is wuz a life of sheer drudgery, ahnd weightud cruelly by a sunse of enormous and overwhelmin' 'oplessnuss. Thar four wulls of 'is squalud tank only servin' to remind 'im of thar anguish wuthin 'is own being, thar imprisoned ahnd wrutched spirit of youth thart 'e daren't reveal to thar Emunciatud Cuntrollah, but instudd kept shackled to thar cold stone floor thart 'ad become lark thar bottom of 'is prison 'eart, lark thar vury bottom thart you might stand on if you were lark vury small and standin' in a persons' 'eart.. thart was lark a prison.... lark.
But not anymore. Turry 'ad seen thar wurld beyond thar confines of thar slimey glass wulls ahnd guard towers, 'e 'ad experiunced thar freedom thart abounds outside thar range of thar menacin' machine guns, ahnd thar peace of mund free of thar rigud ahnd 'orribly inconveniunt spot chucks on thar barracks, and early mornin' roll calls on a desolute ahnd estuum sappin' parade gruund. Butfink ahnd 'e 'ad 'ad a smashin' time, what wuth visutin' thar old creek ahnd crossin' thar road, it 'ad buun a grand advunchure, but it wuz time to be gettin' buck, a roll call before dunner would not bode well for thar chaps if 'e ahnd Butfink dud not return soon..
Butfink glided down frum flying somewhar ahnd perched gently on thar back of Turrys' deckcharr.
"We bust be guttin' back in, Turry, thar's a large black limousine just pulled up.." sudd Butfink, eyeing Turry's pina colada.
"Oh nonsunse, Butfink, I'm on 'oliday in Crete, roll call won't be untull dunner, thar's time yut..." Turry respondud, strutchin' ahnd placin' 'is 'ands on 'is belly.
"Turry?"
"Yes, Butfink?"
"You've rolled over tryin' to mount thar Emunciatud Cuntrollahs' staars, you're not in Crete you're in 'is front yard.."
"I KNOW, Butfink," chuckled Turry, "I'm usin' mah 'ee-madge-unn-ay-shun'. Look art thart, Butfink!! A Cretan solar eclipse!!"
"Don't look art it, Turry!!" Butfink hissed. "Stay perfectly stull!"
"Oh, Butfink, don't be so sully, sure ut's hudeous ahnd all bu..."
Thar Fat Immigration Minister bunt down ahnd scooped up Turry. "Wull, wull, wull, what 'ave we 'ere, then Dieter?" she sudd turnin' to 'er companion.
Deiter Duck pattud is pockuts for pen ahnd paper..
"Nuvermind, Ducky, lut's go ahnd see whart thar Emunciatud Cuntrollah 'as to say aboo' 'is luttle welcome mut..."
Deiter eyed thar garden bat evar so suspicious lark, and followed thar Fart Immugrashun Munistar up thar staars.
Inside, thar Emuciatud Cuntrollah was busyin' 'imsulf lark whart wuth makin' everythun' condusive ahnd all to thar Fat Immugrashun Munistars impundin' arrival. 'E 'ad just placed thar last of thar railway sleepers under i's envuloped cornared, tucked and folded, smoothed and strutched, without a single offunding crease or bulge, lark thar greaseproof paper round a pound of butter bud, when thar came a knock on thar door..
"Oh good! She's 'ere!" 'e blurtud excitudely. He evar so juntly prussed down on thar matruss with splayed fungers, "I 'ope she's not in season, Turry.." 'e said crossin' thar room and turnin' to wunk at Gary the Glass Tank Aquarium.
"Munistar! Whart a pleasure!! It's always a thrull to 'ave you vusut Stalag Aquarium! Come in come in come in come in!" 'e sudd gusturin' lark a tool. "And thus is?"
"Deiter. My new Head of Swuft Retrubution."
"WHAR did you evar find thar cute little jackboots and drab black militury attire 'e's waring, thar're to die for!" the Emunciatud Cuntrollah closed thar door behind Dieter Duck ahnd turned to face thar Munistar, but not before curiously eyeing thar brund new bat statue in thar hall..
"Nuvermind. Are my quarters ruddy?"
"Indeed they are, Munistar!"
"Deiter would like a tour of thar facilitah.. would you mind?"
"Not at all, Herr Munistar. NOT. AT. ALL!"
"Gooooooooood - see to it thart 'e 'as full access to all areas. Speakin' of which, Cuntrollah, I 'ave a suprise for you, but I think it can wait until later.." the Fart Immugrashun Munistar sat 'erself demurely on thar Cuntrollahs' bud, and wunked at thar duck.
And wuth thart the two cronnies who whar in on thar joke laffed ahnd laffed, ahnd so dud thar Emunciatud Cuntrollah, because 'e was a dickhudd.
User Reviews
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-11-08 06:47:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A hidden gem.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2006-11-17 01:07:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM MY POSTS CRYSTLE
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-17 00:52:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yes?
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-04-24 12:20:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yay TTT.
pop pop pop
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2006-04-24 09:24:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-04-24 09:16:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
If the Emanciated Controlluh is seduced by the Fut Ummugration Munistuh, I will hold it against you for the rest of your life.
---------------------
muhahaha.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-04-24 09:16:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If the Emanciated Controlluh is seduced by the Fut Ummugration Munistuh, I will hold it against you for the rest of your life.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-04-24 09:06:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Daaaaanger
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-04-24 08:14:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I CAN'T BE BOTHER TO READ THIS
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-04-24 08:13:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
What the flying fuck accent is that.
Doesn't seem like Australian to me.
I'm not gonna try reading any more of these, but its good. Kinda.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2006-04-24 08:06:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
the Fart Immugrashun Munistar will be a worthy foe in this series...
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2006-04-24 04:56:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
All's wull thart ends wull, Barty..
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-04-24 04:44:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Regional accents get da' bitches.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-04-24 04:44:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm so happy. Today was going to be rubbish what with the no sleeping in and the shower breaking and the no cereal. And everything. Gawd bless you mister Ranger.