Never take brownies from strangers (484 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: -0.5 on 8 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <ljohnson823.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2006-04-24 17:21:30 EDT
I remember being little and my mom telling me never to take any candy from strangers. I guess due to the fact that she has heard, just like every other person in America,the tale of the dirty old man who puts poison in candy and then gives it to little children for his own sick amusement. However, this story never mentions baked goods.
The other night my boyfriend and I went to a friend's house. The friend lives next to a couple of odd old ladies who are constantly making us park in their yard instead of on the street where we usually park. Last night one of the ladies was sitting on her porch in full splendor with crazy dog and cigarette in hand. We parked on the street and immediately she asks us to move into her driveway. She then proceeds to go in the house. At this point I thought our interaction was over, but she then brings out a pan of brownies. She tells us that theye're for our friend. So, we take them over there and sit around for awhile. Our friend then proceeds to tell us that the old ladies have been mad at them due to the state of their lawn. Something about neighborhood depreciating,etc. We leave, but not before taking some of the brownies with us.
We get home and after awhile I've got the munchies, so I decide to try some brownies. I take a bite and they kinda don't taste like brownies. Kinda weird. Definitely not baked. I dunno. I didn't eat anymore after that, but about 10 minutes later my stomach starts killing me. I then begin to panic thinking that the old lady has poisoned the brownies (or at the least added a laxative),in order to get back at our friend due to the yard fiasco. After about 30 minutes of pain I was so sure of this. My paranoid mind began thinking I'd been poisoned for something I had no part in. Of course the pain finally went away after a trip to the good old bathroom, but Im still kind of convinced something fishy was going on. My lesson here being not to take baked goods from nice old ladies, at least not if there's a lawn feud going on.
User Reviews
Submitted by gazdemon (user info) at 2006-06-02 16:49:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
wow. the title would have suggested this was good.
Submitted by jeveuxgagner (user info) at 2006-04-24 23:12:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
good story hansel
Submitted by erosion_rules (user info) at 2006-04-24 22:45:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You should switch some of her meds with doses of X...and give her all sorts of shit laced with LSD. Old ladies will have a fuckin' stroke after tripping balls for a few days.
Submitted by extacy_red (user info) at 2006-04-24 19:41:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
meh
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-04-24 18:47:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you didn't die?
cause you'd be a lot cooler if you had.
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2006-04-24 17:46:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Just go on their lawn and whip out your dick.
Submitted by GoldPlatedOrange (user info) at 2006-04-24 17:35:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for being owned by a granny! Good ideas with the cookies, be sure to get some 'special white sauce' in there too.
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-04-24 17:29:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
bake her some cookies.
and tell her how much you appreciated those delicious brownies when you hand her your homemade toll house cookies with marijuana in them. maybe grandma will get a kick out of that.