Nude man gets stuck in his stepmother's lum. (1500 hits)
Category: NewsRating: -0.3 on 26 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Doo( Über's sex news anchor)dles (View user info) at 2006-04-24 20:48:11 EDT
Other sex news posts:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/86912
Mayor caught working for stripclub AND Don't want no short dick Asian man
http://www.ubersite.com/m/86742
Bukkake to become a form of sexual assault in Connecticut (SFW)
http://www.ubersite.com/m/86969
Man fakes being a doctor to touch tits.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/86993
Mom pimps out her under age daughters in New York
http://www.ubersite.com/m/87005
Wife has preteen kids take nude pics.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/87041
Kids show porno in class.
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2006-04-23 22:08:43 (#)
Ranking: 1
The post itself was alright but I thought your <tags> were </obnoxious>.
---
All right, none tonight then, I'm going back to the basics on this one.
Man gets stuck in his stepmother's lum.
http://www.helenair.com/articles/2006/04/24/montana/01mt20060423231.txt
Locked out of his stepmother's home, a 23-year-old man tried to slide down the chimney like St. Nick, except without any presents -- or clothes.
Ahahahaha, retards are funny. Really it's stories like this, that made me wish stupidity was a crime, possibly with a death sentence for repetitive offenders.
Michael Urbano, who made it 75 percent of the way down the single-story home's chimney, was treated for minor injuries and arrested on suspicion of being high on drugs, Hayward police Lt. Gary Branson said Sunday.
It all began at about 2:30 a.m. Saturday, Branson said, when Urbano returned from barhopping to the Cliffwood Avenue house where he was staying. No one was home, and he didn't have a key, so he climbed to the roof.
3/4s of the way down? Damn that's not too bad. So lets get a visual going okay? It's 2:30 A.M. in San Francisco, you're high and drunk. You get home realizing that you have no key to get inside. What's the logical thing to do? Climb through a window? Impossible! It's three motherfucking feet off the ground, I could never make it up that high. Look for the extra key that is most likely hidden under the doormat? Hell no! What if there's no key? I would have to bend down, and I'm lazy. Take off your cloths dip yourself in a tub of astroglide and shimmy down the chimney? BRILLIANT! I'm a fucking genius to think of such a good way to get in.
Urbano disconnected a cable television wire on the roof, then disrobed -- he claimed his clothes would have impeded his descent -- and began rappelling down the chimney, Branson said.
The cable snapped, sending Urbano into a free fall until he got wedged inside the chimney, where he stayed for four hours.
A wire to repel down the chimney? Damn aren't you the brightest crayon in the box? Oh well, all good plans have their drawbacks I'm afraid, your cable snapped in yours, and a man had his colon ruptured when he had the buttsecks with a horse ( I know it's getting old ,but I love teh horse buttsecks). (Un)fortunately in your case, you lived.
His muffled calls for help finally prompted a neighbor to phone police about 6:30 a.m.
Responding officers scoured the area before they noticed the chimney's spark arrester had been disconnected. After climbing the roof, they spotted Urbano.
Did you really have to notice the chimney? It would have been much funnier if his decomposing body feel down the remainder of the chimney in a few weeks. Because then at his funeral I could have said sorry your stepson was a dumbass with a smile on my face.
First, said Branson, an officer was held at the ankles and lowered headfirst into the breach, but found nothing to grab hold of because Urbano's arms were pinned.
Finally an officer lay on his back in the fireplace -- where Urbano's clothing was found -- and used his feet to push Urbano into the dawn air.
See? This is why I hate police, I pay my tax money that funds them so they can rescue retards that the human race would be better off without. Goddamn them, damn them all.
This has been another edition of sex news, with your anchor Doodles. I have taken the liberty of stealing and then modifying a picture of a chimney to show you EXACTLY what he looked like.
User Reviews
Submitted by gazdemon (user info) at 2006-06-04 09:38:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
that was poor
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-25 07:40:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Actually - no.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-25 07:39:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Iago?
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-04-25 07:28:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Quit linkwhoring yourself.
Submitted by tarnation (user info) at 2006-04-25 07:11:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
wow this post is really picking up momentum now fuck off you gay cunt
Submitted by Doodies (user info) at 2006-04-25 00:10:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by erosion_rules (user info) at 2006-04-24 23:22:00 (#)
Ranking: 1
No, they had to find him alive. Remember, this isn't "Gremlins."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by eppliks (user info) at 2006-04-24 22:54:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
myexstaintstain is in the KindaDoodies alter circle, too, I suspect (Kinda gave myexstaintfag a +2, which no one else does).
I am better. I am Legion. Luke...I am your father.
There, Sherlocks. 1 down, 6 to go.
How obvious do I hafta be, you Gubers?
Submitted by erosion_rules (user info) at 2006-04-24 23:22:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No, they had to find him alive. Remember, this isn't "Gremlins."
Submitted by eppliks (user info) at 2006-04-24 22:54:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
myexstaintstain is in the KindaDoodies alter circle, too, I suspect (Kinda gave myexstaintfag a +2, which no one else does).
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-24 22:52:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ugh no hits, no reviews, this sucks.
Submitted by Doodies (user info) at 2006-04-24 22:04:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Yeah, I found that out when he fucked up on kinda's post, the question is, whose alter is kindanews?
Now you're thinking, queenie!
C'mon, ditties!
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-24 22:01:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by eppliks (user info) at 2006-04-24 21:53:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
What a dumbass (doodies is KindaNews' alter, just so you know).
---
Yeah, I found that out when he fucked up on kinda's post, the question is, whose alter is kindanews?
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-24 21:53:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by tarnation (user info) at 2006-04-24 21:48:24 (#)
Ranking: -1
fag
---
It would seem my posts are attractive to alters.
Submitted by eppliks (user info) at 2006-04-24 21:53:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What a dumbass (doodies is KindaNews' alter, just so you know).
Submitted by tarnation (user info) at 2006-04-24 21:48:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
fag
Submitted by Doodies (user info) at 2006-04-24 21:29:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
As good as it has been talking to you, I have other post to read and I don't want to camp on my own post. Feel free to go back and -2 all of my other posts, god knows they all deserve it. I'll even help you out, http://www.ubersite.com/u/doodles
You are such a pussy.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-24 21:03:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Doodies (user info) at 2006-04-24 21:00:00 (#)
Ranking: -2
I especially like the way you add the links of all your previous shit posts so that the suffering intensifies with each click.
You are brilliant, sweet diddles, and I love your sweet, gay majesty!
Carry on, sugar-pie
---
As good as it has been talking to you, I have other post to read and I don't want to camp on my own post. Feel free to go back and -2 all of my other posts, god knows they all deserve it. I'll even help you out, http://www.ubersite.com/u/doodles
Submitted by Doodies (user info) at 2006-04-24 21:03:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
and try and get better at somthing I enjoy doing.
You enjoy misspelling words even your mother can spell?
Priceless again, diddles my boy!
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-24 21:01:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-04-24 21:00:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
GO LUM WOO!
---
GO SOX WOOO! BEEB PEENER!
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-04-24 21:01:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
These suck. There are far more, with more updates and better comments here:
http://www.dailyrotten.com/
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-04-24 21:00:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
GO LUM WOO!
Submitted by Doodies (user info) at 2006-04-24 21:00:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I especially like the way you add the links of all your previous shit posts so that the suffering intensifies with each click.
You are brilliant, sweet diddles, and I love your sweet, gay majesty!
Carry on, sugar-pie.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-24 20:59:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Doodies (user info) at 2006-04-24 20:57:28 (#)
Ranking: -2
Why would you make an alter of a new Uberer? Surely there are more worthy people to loathe?
Sadly, no.
Actually, I like you. I admire your bravery in the face of superiority.
Keep writing, sweet diddles.
I wish you well, lad.
---
Yup, my writing is shitty, but I don't write because I'm good at it, I write because I enjoy it. Uber to me is just a place to kick back read some funny shit, and try and get better at somthing I enjoy doing.
Submitted by Doodies (user info) at 2006-04-24 20:57:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Why would you make an alter of a new Uberer? Surely there are more worthy people to loathe?
Sadly, no.
Actually, I like you. I admire your bravery in the face of superiority.
Keep writing, sweet diddles.
I wish you well, lad.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-24 20:54:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Doodies (user info) at 2006-04-24 20:51:21 (#)
Ranking: -2
Another shitty post, Diddles.
They are too fucking long.
Why don't you release them excrementally?
---
Why would you make an alter of a new Uberer? Surely there are more worthy people to loathe?
Submitted by Doodies (user info) at 2006-04-24 20:51:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Another shitty post, Diddles.
They are too fucking long.
Why don't you release them excrementally?
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-24 20:49:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ehh, you can't read the chimney blueprints, ah well they aren't nearly as important as the Beeb peener.