What the fuck can you say against such blind hate? (1438 hits)
Category: PoliticsRating: 1.36 on 73 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Ton Kinson <Kinson.Ton.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2006-04-25 01:52:05 EDT
I was just spat on for a friendly smile. And you know why?
Because I'm the man, and that's just how it is.
I was strolling through the cultural district of Baltimore late this evening, in a good mood and thinking about my new lady-friend, when I noticed this young black girl coming up towards me.
So I did what I always do: I smiled
Now, in typical situations, this is what happens.
1. I make eye contact
2. They make eye contact
3. I smile
4. They smile
5. I say hello, or some variation thereof
6. They say hello, or some variation thereof
Then, whether she's hot and I stop to chat or not and we simply walk past eachother,
7. We go our separate ways in a slightly better mood.
However, in this particular circumstance, as soon as I smiled, this girl violently snapped her head towards me with venomous eyes and spat at me like she was a fucking King Cobra.
And I'm still all but petrified with disbelief. I was immediately rendered absolutely speechless. All I could do was look at the ground at my feet wondering:
1. How could so much spit have completely missed me?
2. How could so much spit have come from one person's mouth at once?
The only answers I can guess is that muster is that I shrouded myself with the force in precognition of the act...
...and she was simply saving it ALL day just for me.
As far as WHY she did it, the answer is simply and already mentioned: I'm the man. I'm mostly white, lean, freshly shaven and dressed for work in slacks and a button down shirt. And I'm pretty...well, at least that what my girl keeps telling me. Not much to judge someone by, but that's all it takes to earn the hate of a proud, ignorant poor black girl heading to North Avenue.
I don't know how many of you are familiar with Baltimore, but it is a fairly small town, at least compared to the likes of D.C. The spitting occurred right smack in the middle of the Cultural district, which is a haven for art and college students in the midst of John's Hopkins, UMB, UB, and MICA. Walking from the harbor and downtown (the direction she was coming from), the cultural district is the last stop for tourists before you hit North Avenue.
If Baltimore City was your house up for sale, and tourists were potential buyers, Charles Street @ North Avenue is the bedroom door to the dungeon of your thirteen year old troll that you block in spread-eagle fashion and try to pass off as, "Oh, it's just another linen closet...nothing to see here."
Now...theoretically, this could be an art student at MICA (Maryland Institute College of Art) heading back to campus for some chai tea....but the Walter's Museum of Art is closed on Tuesdays, though few things are open at 11:30 pm, anyway. (p.s. new Louise Bourgeois: Femme exhibit at the Walter's is uninspired contemporary trash...if you care for my opinion. Maybe I should have expected differently from an exhibit sponsored by John Waters)
But anyway, no she wasn't coming from the Walter's and was most likely heading to North Avenue to pickup something that would quell whatever it was that was making her walk that way, but my curiosity of her intentions are moot. I most certainly couldn't have asked her. I wanted to. I wanted to know where she came from, where she was going, and what drives such passionate hate. But how can you reason with someone who just spat at you for smiling?
It would be easy enough to pass her off as a "product of the system," but I think that sort of minimalist logic is part of the problem. Any educated person in this country could tell you that there is a disparity of income, education, convictions, etc., that are influenced by any myriad of reasons. But for an uneducated person, how easy it must be to see the white man on top, the black person on bottom, and draw a straight line of cause-and-effect in-between. And how can anyone expect anything less than for a logic so simple and so self-serving to perpetuate hate and propagate its cyclical effect in a downward spiral?
I must tell you...I don't usually write this sort of stuff. I came to ubersite to write fiction and share it with peers so that I might become a better writer. But this was one of those events that just made me stop and think. Of course, ideas, though bullet-proof (see: V for Vendetta), are useless if they aren't shared and put into action. But how do you fight hate? If she had spit in my face, I might have been tempted to fight hate with hate, shouting while pummeling and kicking her wretched body in between the words:
STOP...BEING...SUCH...A..HATEFUL...BITCH...YOU...STUPID...FUCKING...CUNT
And though rewarding it might be to vent, I doubt it would have been productive. However, I do have a solution, and it is very simple:
Replace highschool with a pseudo-military boarding school, cut off all contact from the kids' stupid hateful parents for four years while they receive individual educational assistance, sensitivity training, discipline, individually customized education plans by interest and aptitude, mandatory enriched cultural education, healthy food, a minimum of three languages learned, BASIC ECONOMICS, mandatory fitness education, and a pill that makes males temporarily impotent.
After two years mandatory military service and upon graduation, all females receive their well-earned black-belts in the martial arts that they majored in, are given standard-issue M-16s, a life-time supply of morning-after pills, a .22 pistol, and a combat knife.
Males, after their two years mandatory military service, get taken off the pill and our given their diplomas and a final word of caution.
I know...I know...I am truly enlightened. I don't know why mucus has inspired me so, perhaps it was the irony that such a thing occurred within a block of the Washington Monument in an area that is within half a mile of no less than six college campuses and a mile within no less than nine museums.
Of course, they're going to be critics. Nay-sayers, booers, defenders of the status-quo who will cry out in protest and make ridiculous inquiries like, "And just where is the funding for the monumental education revolution going to come from? You're violating our civil liberties! Blah blah blah"
Idiots. You want your civil liberties violated? Walk up and down North Avenue smiling at everyone you see, and if you see someone whose gender is absolutely indeterminable, don't ask, because the answer is "yes." Just ask for the special. Tell them TimtheBard sent you.
You can't put a price on education.
VIVA LA REVOLÜTION
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-04-27 12:54:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
She was mad because your daddy sprayed her with a firehose and sicced a German Shephard on her...
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-04-26 12:58:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Berty is hands down my favorite reviewer on this site. It was touch and go for a while, but this post secured his spot at the top.
Submitted by MisterCeltic (user info) at 2006-04-26 10:40:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Most monkeys fling poop when threatened...consider yourself lucky.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-04-26 09:46:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm the man. I'm mostly white, lean, freshly shaven and dressed for work in slacks and a button down shirt
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Funny I always thought the man was on the portlier side. Kind of like Karl Rove, that jackass.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-04-26 09:45:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I get all my knowledge from the Cat & Girl webcomic btw. I don't actually have a real opinion about class.
I'm sure if you took an ECG of me it would be a flatline.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-04-26 09:37:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is very true Loki, class distinctions seem become blurred in a capitalist society where most people work in service based industry. Eventually everybody will probably wind up having a uni education and poorly educated trogladytes like me will be completely obsolete along with my class distinction.
Do you reckon that the passing of class distinction is why we seem to get an awful lot of fads and trends recently? Do you reckon fads and trends have always been about like they are today?
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-04-26 09:29:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Is the term yuppie actually still in use? I suppose it is because I can't think of any other term that has come along that means the same thing.
I had an odd conversation with my dad this weekend. He said that the term "middle class" used to mean someone who owned a small business. Something about the use of it as a strictly economic term irritates him. I think it's because he owns his own business, but then I asked him how he would define someone like me. I'm not lower class or upper class, maybe working class but to me working class more accurately describes more of a blue collar profession.
odd really
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-04-26 09:17:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like yuppies. You can almost always have a pleaseant conversation with them about almost anything.
Submitted by Jimmo (user info) at 2006-04-26 07:28:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Racism is universally abhorrent, no matter what the colour of the offender.
"Replace highschool with a pseudo-military boarding school, cut off all contact from the kids' stupid hateful parents for four years while they receive individual educational assistance, sensitivity training, discipline, individually customized education plans by interest and aptitude, mandatory enriched cultural education, healthy food, a minimum of three languages learned, BASIC ECONOMICS, mandatory fitness education, and a pill that makes males temporarily impotent.
After two years mandatory military service and upon graduation, all females receive their well-earned black-belts in the martial arts that they majored in, are given standard-issue M-16s, a life-time supply of morning-after pills, a .22 pistol, and a combat knife. "
Horrible though it is, this, with some mods (military training, yes, compulsary service, no), would probably save civilisation. I also reckon that a mixture of shared and one one tuition catered to the individual, where only the individual and parents would know the test results, to be ideal.
Unworkable in the current climate though.
Submitted by Spuds002 (user info) at 2006-04-25 23:27:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by cuberat (user info) at 2006-04-25 09:57:13 (#)
Ranking: -2
Ok noob. Here goes.
Your writing style is good. Your ability to put a logical and thoughtful piece together is ok. I see potential for you writing on Uber. However, your ideas on this subject, as well as your smug yuppie attitude make me want to pistol whip you until you realize what life is like for the normal populace.
well put. And tim... chill its his review, he can do what he wants.
me personally, i dont think its -2 material, but it sure aint +2 either.
actually the only reason you get + anything is because red and berty made me laugh
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2006-04-25 22:07:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I suggest you go hang out at Lexington Market for a bit, then you'd relize how many of them fucking cocksuckers there are living in ol B-more.
You're also right about Louise Bourgeois, her stuff reminds me of Ann Hamilton, only Ann Hamilton Rocks.
Hometown +2
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-04-25 18:31:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Plus 1 cuz Berty fucking cracks me up.
Zero for you because you don't read minds so you really have no idea what motivated that woman to do what she did, yet you made up your mind and went with it.
Submitted by richsghostdog (user info) at 2006-04-25 17:21:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Just think, if you had spit at her it would be a "RACIAL INCIDENT" and you'd be in jail quicker than you can say "aunt jemima"..
Submitted by TimTheBard (user info) at 2006-04-25 13:57:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok noob. Here goes.
Your writing style is good. Your ability to put a logical and thoughtful piece together is ok. I see potential for you writing on Uber. However, your ideas on this subject, as well as your smug yuppie attitude make me want to pistol whip you until you realize what life is like for the normal populace.
That said, welcome to Uber. Happy trolling.
Berty and red? what the hell was going on in the reviews? Was that really a huge conversation about what we call "the roach coach" here in the states?
That stuff is good though...nothing like greezy food cooked out of a van by a carnie.
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Which ideas make you want to pistol whip me? Cure-all education plan?
Tongue in cheek
Satire
Look them up.
And what about me makes me appear yuppy? The fact that I was dressed halfway decent for work? My interest in art?
But I can't complain...your comments on my writing are the greatest compliment you could have given me.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-04-25 12:40:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Berty - Red, calm the fuck down DAHAM
I don't have anything insightful to offer here. I have had odd and bizarre shit like this happen to me primarily in the wonderful city of Durham, NC (perhaps you've heard about it in the news lately).
I try to be the proper touchy-feely liberal about it all and think that something must have happened to these particular individuals in order to make them feel such unmitigated blind spite against the pale skinned members of society, but than again I secretly HOPE that something awful has happened to them because clearly they deserve it.
shameful is it not
It is also shameful to consider what would have happened if it had been a white man randomly spitting at a black woman.
<shudder>
Jesse Jackson
Al Sharpton
marches
speeches
sensitivity seminars
vigils
</shudder>
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-04-25 12:32:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
STORY TIME!!!
Back when I worked for Sherwin-Williams, my assistant manager was a 350 lbs, 6' 4" ex-college football player named Lenny. Lenny was also African American. Now, I had had Black friends in high school, but not real close ones. Lenny and I became great buddies. This mountain of a man was such a weirdo... he collected Godzilla stuff, read comic books, watched Japanimation, and could sing as well as Luther Vandrose.
Anyhow...
He invites my girlfriend and I out to his parents house for the 4th of July. I had come to know his imediate family pretty well after two years of working with him, so I was all set. Bastard didn't tell me it was going to be a family reunion!!! There was over 60 people there and my girl and I were the only white folk present.
We had an awesome time.
Rascism and hate is a learned thing. Don't learn it....
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2006-04-25 11:23:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I don't think I've ever heard the area around Hopkins referred to as the Cultural District. I guess relatively speaking maybe...
Having lived and worked in both Baltimore and DC, I also think of DC as having way more of a small city feel than Baltimore.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-25 10:32:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Greasy Van Man
How I doth love thee
You fill my veins with cholesterol
And all I need do, is have a stroll
I care not for salmonella
Or evil heart burn
Even the bacteria
Do not my stomach churn
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-04-25 10:24:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Berty and red? what the hell was going on in the reviews? Was that really a huge conversation about what we call "the roach coach" here in the states?
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My friends and I call them 'Death Wagons' and the food they sell 'Death Burgers'. This certainly is not a national thing though.
Yes we are talking about roach coach's.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-04-25 10:20:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ugh gross. philly is full of spitters both male and female. i'd like to do that to the next black guy that harasses me when i'm walking down the street in philly. like "yo girl how you doin'" is really gonna get me to cheat on my husband. and if i don't answer? "fucking white bitch". LOL it always cracks me up.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-25 10:18:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Carnies! Kings among men.
Submitted by cuberat (user info) at 2006-04-25 09:57:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Ok noob. Here goes.
Your writing style is good. Your ability to put a logical and thoughtful piece together is ok. I see potential for you writing on Uber. However, your ideas on this subject, as well as your smug yuppie attitude make me want to pistol whip you until you realize what life is like for the normal populace.
That said, welcome to Uber. Happy trolling.
Berty and red? what the hell was going on in the reviews? Was that really a huge conversation about what we call "the roach coach" here in the states?
That stuff is good though...nothing like greezy food cooked out of a van by a carnie.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-04-25 09:53:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-04-25 09:44:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
doesn't baltimore have one of the highest std rates in the country because of that research hospital near by in like bethesda or something? i dunno if you can expect much from a town that gets remembered by some peopl from that. either way, she needs a beating.
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Has nothing to do with the research hospital it has to do with being filled with ghetto trash.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-04-25 09:50:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-25 08:22:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
blah blah blah weak girly arms blah blah blah charity blah blah blah married blah blah blah hi Berty
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I am getting you confused with Hilarity. Sorry
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-04-25 09:44:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
doesn't baltimore have one of the highest std rates in the country because of that research hospital near by in like bethesda or something? i dunno if you can expect much from a town that gets remembered by some peopl from that. either way, she needs a beating.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-25 09:42:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-04-25 09:38:47 (#)
Ranking: 0
STFU noob.
I probably gave out my most analytical review of the year to your piece of shit post. If either me or Red should grace your worthless posts with our magnificence you should feel blessed. If both of us turn up you should probably send us some money.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-04-25 09:38:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
STFU noob.
I probably gave out my most analytical review of the year to your piece of shit post. If either me or Red should grace your worthless posts with our magnificence you should feel blessed. If both of us turn up you should probably send us some money.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-04-25 09:24:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
We should just steralize people on public assistance, or at leats give the women that norplant thing so they can't have kids for a few years.
Submitted by TimTheBard (user info) at 2006-04-25 09:20:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I woke up and was surprised to see that my first post had so many reviews...
and then I discoved that 30 of those reviews were from redskieslookfake and berty.
While I appreciate the attention that heat summons...can you take it somewhere else?
A chatroom...livejournal, myspace, IM. Anywhere.
Pretty please?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-25 08:22:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Did someone beckon me?
I'm late for work and I don't know what's going on, but don't make me knock both of you into next week. With my weak, girly arms, even. 'Cause then you'll both be crippled, and that would be sad for everyone.
My only husband is of the ubervariety. We all know who he is. And you behave, cabana boy.
Hi Berty.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-25 08:05:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-04-25 08:03:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
Ace. We could probably do that actually. I hear that missus licious has massive, massive arms.
I reckon that's it anyway, the actual comment was actually something along the lines of 'toss you for miles'. What else could it have meant?
Isn't she married?
---
I suggest we pose these questions to her. Carefully. While we smile politely. No one wants to be caber tossed here.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-04-25 08:03:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ace. We could probably do that actually. I hear that missus licious has massive, massive arms.
I reckon that's it anyway, the actual comment was actually something along the lines of 'toss you for miles'. What else could it have meant?
Isn't she married?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-25 07:58:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-04-25 07:56:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
The receptionist is a man, Red.
The normal routine is he bursts into the office picks me up and carries me out of the building whilst our co-workers burst in from side corridors to applaud us.
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Lifting you from your wheelchair while he sings the Hulk Hogan song!?
You're pretty much living Sacrilicious's fantasy.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-04-25 07:56:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The receptionist is a man, Red.
The normal routine is he bursts into the office picks me up and carries me out of the building whilst our co-workers burst in from side corridors to applaud us.
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2006-04-25 07:45:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great post on a tough subject!!
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-25 07:34:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Failure. The stench of a hidden burger van. I have had to satisfy myself with food from the local deli. Pizza and Pastie isn't as good
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-25 07:14:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-04-25 07:11:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
Today Berty may have Macdonalds or a kebab. Potentially I will go with the receptionist to get a vegetarian Indian treat.
Probably be a kebab.
---
Berty pulls up in his wheelchair. "Hey pretty laydeee - hop on and I'll take *you* for a ride"
Pretty receptionists stares with mouth agape at the suave cripple in front of her. "Oh Mr Berty -I'd be delighted if you gave me a treat!" She then leaps into his lap while giggling in a schoolgirlish manner.
The tough administrator shouts at her furiously "How can you desert your post girl?"
But Berty nary bats an eye lid. "I'm in HR bitch. WE MAKE THE RULES!"
The old bat bows her head, chagrinned. Berty revs his engine and drives off, petrol fumes filling the corridor.
Later they had a pizza.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-04-25 07:12:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You excuse is both logical and chivalrous. I praise you sir.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-04-25 07:11:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Today Berty may have Macdonalds or a kebab. Potentially I will go with the receptionist to get a vegetarian Indian treat.
Probably be a kebab.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-25 07:08:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Buxom* even
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-25 07:08:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-04-25 07:01:38 (#)
Ranking: 0
And......? and......??
Damn you Red.... WHAT WAS IT LIKE??
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I've not gone yet. I'm waiting for the boxom girl next door to finish her stuff before I wander down.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-04-25 07:01:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And......? and......??
Damn you Red.... WHAT WAS IT LIKE??
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-25 06:44:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-25 06:41:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
Red: that was better than Dickens.
---
in 15 mins I'm going to get that. And i shall sit here and consume it.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-25 06:41:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Red: that was better than Dickens.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-25 06:36:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-04-25 06:32:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
That's the greatest story since A Dog Called Demolition.
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True Story. Almost makes you believe in divine guidance. Aah the miracle of the universe
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-04-25 06:32:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's the greatest story since A Dog Called Demolition.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-25 06:27:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-04-25 06:17:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
Fried egg too. Hash brown would be cheerful. fried bread would suffice. Lee & Perrins, salt and a bit of pepper.
*starts crying*
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Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-04-25 06:16:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
You bastard, you have a van that brings you bacon? Lucky motherfucker. There's so little bacon around here, it's like Israel.
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I'll tell you a story. One day, when I started working at my place of work, I was hungry and dispirited. It was a cold and unforgiving Autumn day, with just a touch of fog in the air. I wandered up to the canteen to discover the same limp insipid sandwiches as I had the day before and something snapped. I left my place of work without a sandwich and decided to find a better source of sustenance.
As I stepped out into the crisp October air I saw someone clutching the finest thing ever. An all day breakfast in a polystrene unfriendly to the environment package. It had bacon, sausages, fried eggs, beans, tomatoes, black pudding and a bun and choice of coffee or tea. I stared at this miracle and demanded to know whence it came. With a mouthful of bacon the instructions were unclear, but I journeyed in teh direction of his wave.
I walked down a street, looking around for further revellers, but saw none, then I perked up. My favourite line from Ghostbusters sprang to mind, "listen, can you smell something?" And indeed fair reader, I had heard a smell. The glorious aroma of bacon crisping nicely, the sizzle of sausage on a grill. I inhaled deeply, cutting out the smell of the North and focusing on the wonderous aroma of grease. I tracked the scent for a block, before finding myself in front of a van. This van had various nude pictures of laydees to bewitch the mind, and also the aforementioned WunderMeal for the grand price of Two English Pounds. I delved into my moneyladen pockets and paid the requested amount and then stood and drooled as the hairy eye browed man assembled my food. I even got a plastic fork and knife that day. Since then I have journeyed many a time to that oasis, each time it moves. Rather like a mysterious shop. But nearly every time, my keen sense of smell and harrassing of passerbys has revealed the information. One or two times I have failed, and returned to the grimness of cold soggy lettuce and shitty chicken, but oft I have returned as a hero, with brown sauce dribbled down my front and egg on my sleave.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-04-25 06:18:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuck Baltimore.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-04-25 06:17:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fried egg too. Hash brown would be cheerful. fried bread would suffice. Lee & Perrins, salt and a bit of pepper.
*starts crying*
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-04-25 06:16:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You bastard, you have a van that brings you bacon? Lucky motherfucker. There's so little bacon around here, it's like Israel.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-25 06:15:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Actually Berty. Did you mean bacon sanies? In which case woah, nice coining. Bacon Sanies.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-25 06:13:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-04-25 06:12:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
I think I made some salient points about whatever it was though. I was going to go on but then apathy just consumed me. This is why we need to be fed intravenously at work. We could pump seratonin and other happy brain fluid into our workforce.
I tell you Red, we'd be eating bacon sarnies on the moon colony by Christmas time.
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SPACE PIGS AHOY!
I would so eat a bacon sarnie now. Indeed, I may go to the salmonella van to get one.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-04-25 06:12:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think I made some salient points about whatever it was though. I was going to go on but then apathy just consumed me. This is why we need to be fed intravenously at work. We could pump seratonin and other happy brain fluid into our workforce.
I tell you Red, we'd be eating bacon sanies on the moon colony by Christmas time.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-25 06:10:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-04-25 06:07:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
I've forgotton what I am reviewing.
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Me too
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-04-25 06:07:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've forgotton what I am reviewing.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-25 05:56:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I very nearly took a lovely black girl home recently - but I was so drunk that I wandered to the bar to get a drink, and my friends dragged me to the next bar without me being able to work out why this notion irritated me. Later on I hunted in the new bar, hoping that miraculously she would be there too. She wasn't.
I'm not sure if she would have spit at me, or if she'd have had the good grace to swallow.
I think my brain is broken today
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-04-25 05:56:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You should have hit her.
Shes a bitch, she deserved it.
Much simpler than massive reform of the US 'education' system anyway.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-25 05:52:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-04-25 04:58:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
What are you on about Red?
---
I should think that's obvious Berty
*flounces off*
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-04-25 05:51:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
See, that's why I only go to the Aquarium and for the most part stay out of the cess pool Baltimore.
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2006-04-25 05:40:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for the synchronised weirdness of Bert and Red.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-04-25 04:58:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What are you on about Red?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-25 04:37:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Woop-woop!
That's the sound of da police!
Woop-woop!
That's the sound of the beast!
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-04-25 04:35:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
But when you think about it, really, where was the philosophical introspection regarding whether a persons actions can ever be excused by their suffering? Indeed, it's entirely possible that she was conducting some fantasy in her own head as she was plodding along and suddenly, quite inadvertently, was rocketed into reality by some creepy looking man in slacks saying 'hi' to her.
Lost in the instant of her own thoughts colliding with reality that friendly smile you reckon you've got probably became every leer of every boy she'd been scared of growing up, the shit eating grin of her older brother who would break her toys, her bastard boss who would make her feel lazy and stupid, her teacher who talked too fast and made her feel dumb, all of it there in front of her. Her own personal satan there in front of her wearing a cheap suit.
That she didn't squeal in terror and collapse to the ground is a credit to her passion, that she was able to fight against this monster, imagined as it may have been, is still rather impressive.
Perhaps it is this strength on her part that really got to you. When confronted you were confused and submissive wheras she took action. Perhaps not the best action, I'll grant you, but action non the less. The result perhaps left you feeling a little unmanned? Hence this talk of weaponry and martial prowess.
'Oh! If only daddy had bought me a 9mm death cock for christmas and not a mega drive I would be a real man' sort of thing. Well trust me, firearms training as a child isn't as much fun as you think it would be. You have to get up early in the morning on a sunday and it's all very monotonous. It's only when you add the element of sexual empowerment through violent power that guns become really interesting to people, so much so that they'll spend hours pounding lead into a cardboard cut out.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-25 04:27:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Chorus:
Woop-woop!
That's the sound of da police!
Woop-woop!
That's the sound of the beast!
Verse One:
Stand clear! Don man a-talk
You can't stand where I stand, you can't walk where I walk
Watch out! We run New York
Police man come, we bust him out the park
I know this for a fact, you don't like how I act
You claim I'm sellin' crack
But you be doin' that
I'd rather say "see ya"
Cause I would never be ya
Be a officer? You WICKED overseer!
Ya hotshot, wanna get props and be a saviour
First show a little respect, change your behavior
Change your attitude, change your plan
There could never really be justice on stolen land
Are you really for peace and equality?
Or when my car is hooked up, you know you wanna follow me
Your laws are minimal
Cause you won't even think about lookin' at the real criminal
This has got to cease
Cause we be getting HYPED to the sound of da police!
Chorus
Verse Two:
Now here's a likkle truth
Open up your eye
While you're checking out the boom-bap, check the exercise
Take the word "overseer," like a sample
Repeat it very quickly in a crew for example
Overseer
Overseer
Overseer
Overseer
Officer, Officer, Officer, Officer!
Yeah, officer from overseer
You need a little clarity?
Check the similarity!
The overseer rode around the plantation
The officer is off patroling all the nation
The overseer could stop you what you're doing
The officer will pull you over just when he's pursuing
The overseer had the right to get ill
And if you fought back, the overseer had the right to kill
The officer has the right to arrest
And if you fight back they put a hole in your chest!
(Woop!) They both ride horses
After 400 years, I've _got_ no choices!
The police them have a little gun
So when I'm on the streets, I walk around with a bigger one
(Woop-woop!) I hear it all day
Just so they can run the light and be upon their way
Chorus
Verse Three:
Check out the message in a rough stylee
The real criminals are the C-O-P
You check for undercover and the one PD
But just a mere Black man, them want check me
Them check out me car for it shine like the sun
But them jealous or them vexed cause them can't afford one
Black people still slaves up til today
But the Black police officer nah see it that way
Him want a salary
Him want it
So he put on a badge and kill people for it
My grandfather had to deal with the cops
My great-grandfather dealt with the cops
My GREAT grandfather had to deal with the cops
And then my great, great, great, great... when it's gonna stop?!
Chorus
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-25 04:26:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I don't think black people in America are allowed to be racist. It's probably in the constitution or something.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-04-25 04:25:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Still on the flipside of that those dark, violent passions that seeth under the bonnett of ones mental engine are perhaps what this piece is all about, that the black woman was having a similar internal dialouge regarding some stuffy white collar prick at the DMV messing her about. When she saw you she suddenly seized her oppurtinity to feel empowered and in control of her life, that she no longer had to feel ineffective and sidelined. This was her time! Her time to fight back against the oppressor!
Might also explain the protracted saliva build up to.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-04-25 04:22:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I've had a bit of a think about this and I am concerned that your having one of those 'this is what I would have done with that bastard if they were tied up' responses.
In which case it's all just a combination of male inadequacy boiling to the surface along with a whole host of other mucky emotions that should really be buried deep, deep down inside you where they can do no harm to the innocent public. Or indeed yourself.
Ergo a real look at why you felt so outraged at some random person being a bit loco might be better.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-25 04:19:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Whitey keeps me down too, so I know how she feels.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-04-25 04:08:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Look at you there with your secure job and your high income tax bracket and your beautiful girlfriend and your smug, smarmy, self-satisfied 'aren't I doing well?' , emotionaly secure and fulfilled life. I'd have fucking spat on you as well, you viscious bastard.
Seriously though she probably just thought you were somebody else. I know that all you white people look the same to me.
Regarding your ideas, all you'd achieve is brutalising the populace and supressing people. Besides, have you ever met ex-military personnel? Fucking tap heads the lot of them. About as emotionally flexible as a rape victim.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-04-25 03:35:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A solid 'worth reading' from me. I'm from the home counties in the UK and just do not encounter that kind of hatred. I still say good morning to my postman.
Submitted by wardawg (user info) at 2006-04-25 02:27:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A woman dropped some money as she was walking down the parkway a few months back so I, being in a friendly mood that evening, retrieved the money and attempted to return it.
The crazy bitch threatened to mace me if I didn't leave her alone right that instant. People are stupid, you just have to deal with it.
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2006-04-25 02:26:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So you looking for a lynch mob or what?
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-04-25 02:00:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And you didn't punch her in the face because....?