Scavenger Hunt - Second Item: A Pen from a Bank Manager's Desk (652 hits)
Category: GeneralLabels: Scavenger_Hunt_Mine
Rating: 2 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Nath (w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m) (View user info) at 2006-04-25 10:35:45 EDT
First Item - A Live Brown Argus: http://www.ubersite.com/m/86933
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After a fairly uneventful trip back to the warehouse that we were using as our HQ (Mike's shed) and dropped off the hell spawn, Will was already on a plan for the next item.
"I think the best idea is to split us all up and try different banks. If we all try our own thing, I'm sure at least one of us will manage to get hold of one."
He quickly assigned us to our banks. Dan and Mary would go into the largest one, posing as a couple. Will would take a small building society that we decided was within the rules, while Mike and I had a regular bank each to try.
We all climbed out of the van in the car park and went our separate ways. My bank was closest, thankfully. My legs were still shaky from the long trip home in the same vehicle as the butterfly and I didn't fancy a long walk. Also, I'm quite lazy.
I pushed open the heavy bank door and walked in. It was a regular afternoon for a city bank, with most customers lined up for instant service and another four or five sat in the waiting area for a personal banker.
I walked over and sat down there.
A few not tense minutes passed and I was soon bored, so I started flicking through one of the magazines that all the banks have laid out to promote how useful they are for the community by offering loans and mortgages to people who could never possibly afford them unless they live past 140, when they can retire. And here I was thinking they were just the money grabbing bastards everyone made them out to be.
Eventually it was my turn. When I met eyes with the personal banker I suddenly realised I didn't have a plan. At times like that, you just have to go with what you know.
With a huff I walked over, making my footsteps as loud as possibly, without being over the top.
"Sorry about the wait." The old woman said, with a customer facing smile that all these people force on their faces. I swear they learn in some kind of boot camp.
"Bout fucking time." I muttered under my breath, dropping into a seat.
"Excuse me, sir, that's actually my seat." The woman said, the smile drooping a little.
"Fuck's sake." I muttered again, as I got up and pushed past her and sat in one of the chairs opposite.
She took her seat opposite and looked to me. "How can I help you today, sir?"
"I want insurance." I slumped in the chair and rested my left foot on the side of her desk, kicking her desk tidy over. A few pens and pencils fell out. I made no move to get them. Nor did she.
"What kind of insurance?"
"The kind where you get money if you fuck up." I said. "I fucked up today."
"Please watch your language."
"How can I watch language? It's audible, no visible. Jesus." I let out an obnoxious snort, followed by a little laughter at myself.
"So what sort of insurance? Personal?"
"How do I know? You're the experts." I said, shifting slightly so I could scratch my ass. "All I know is that I was in a runaway ice cream van today, and I want some insurance."
She just stared at me.
"Well?"
"I'm afraid it doesn't work like that."
I narrowed my eyes at her.
"What?" I made the word as sinister as I could.
"Insurance. It doesn't work that way when..."
"OH I GET IT!" I shouted as loud as I dare. I didn't want security on me. "Because I'm a 'kid' I don't get any of your money?"
"What? No, it has nothing..."
"It has EVERYTHING to do with that." I narrowed my eyes even more this time, except I couldn't actually see anything, so hopefully I was still looking at her. "If I was your age I could get insurance like that!" I snapped my fingers. Instead of snap there came a dull thud.
"Sir, please." I couldn't make out the emotion in her voice, but I could tell whatever it was, it would work. Just a little further.
"No, YOU please." I put as much quiet anger into my voice as I could. "I deserve some insurance, and I think it's only fair that you pay me."
"Insurance does not work that way. How else can I get it through to you? You need to have the policy in place before any..."
"We could all be wise with hindsight, woman." I got loud again. "But we aren't all blessed with divination like you. I didn't realise this was the National Physic Bank!"
I decided I'd gone as far as I could without getting kicked out.
"I demand to see the manager."
"You can't."
"Why? Because you're scared you'll get fired?"
"No, not at all..."
"Because if you don't take me to see the manager this instant, I will make it my personal goal in life to make sure that you lose your job." I flashed an evil smile. "I've already destroyed one livelihood today."
"Fine." She stood up. "Come with me, then."
I followed her through the few corridors that led to the manager's office, where she knocked. Shortly after there was a response telling us we could go in.
The woman walked in ahead of me, but I managed to burst past her.
"I demand to speak you, reference this woman right here."
The manager, sat in his chair, looked a bit shocked, but reasonable.
"I'm sorry." The woman said to him.
"Don't start sucking up now." I turned my attention back to him. "May I speak to you in private please?"
"Of course." He stood up. "Linda, if you'll wait outside please?"
"Okay, Tony."
When the door had closed behind her, Tony invited me to sit down and asked me what the problem was.
"Basically I was just hoping to see what sort of personal insurance coverage your bank would offer to me. I'm just starting off paragliding in the Lake District soon and I would rather have my own, as the companies own seems to be ridiculously overpriced."
"Right." Tony nodded, waiting for more.
"And she just went off on one at me. I'm sure at some point she said something about my age and what a stupid idea, coming to the bank for that sort of thing, when very few people would cover me for it."
All the while I was talking my eyes were scanning his desk, but only managed to spot two pens. One was a crappy biro and the other was a nice gel ink pen. I was going for luxury.
When I'd finished lying my way into Tony's heart (God knows why I chose that wording), he stood and paced a little bit.
"Well I'm very sorry to hear that. I'll just have a quick word with Linda." He made his way towards the door. The second his back was turned, I lunged towards the pen.
My fingers wrapped around the plastic casing and the feeling of victory washed through me as I fell back into my seat in less than an instant. Carefully I slid the pen into my pocket and stood up.
I followed Tony out of the office to where he was stood with Linda, who seemed to be on the verge of tears.
"Actually, forget it." I said with a cheery smile. "It was probably mostly me. I've been drinking a lot lately. You're doing a bang up job, Linda. Tony, give that woman a promotion."
They both just stood there, stunned looks on their faces as I walked out view and then out of the building.
"Too easy." I said to myself out loud, as I climbed into the back of the van.
"What took you so long?" I turned and saw everyone else had already made it back. On the small table that was installed, I saw three nice, brand new looking fountain pens.
"Long wait..." I muttered.
"Well never mind." Will said. "Did you get a pen?"
I dropped my pen down in the middle of the pile and jumped into the driver's seat to the laughs of the others.
"What?" I yelled at them. "It was the best pen the asshole had!"
It didn't matter anyway. I'd got a pen. And I hopefully didn't cost another person their job.
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Next item: A pin from a bowling alley
User Reviews
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-05-04 07:37:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2006-04-25 15:57:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/87152
I'm in
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-04-25 13:03:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-04-25 13:02:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nice
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2006-04-25 12:34:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
heh heh...
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-04-25 11:44:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-04-25 11:22:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahaha...are you sure you didn't go to a credit union instead of a bank? All the credit unions around here have crappy pens.
Hahaha. The other team: http://www.ubersite.com/m/87142
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2006-04-25 11:40:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Not as good as the other one but I kiss ass.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-04-25 11:22:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahaha...are you sure you didn't go to a credit union instead of a bank? All the credit unions around here have crappy pens.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-04-25 11:19:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You got something Nath, something pretty special.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-04-25 11:16:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
woot.
Submitted by MichelleNJ (user info) at 2006-04-25 10:58:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like this concept.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-04-25 10:55:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just plain cool.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-04-25 10:45:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
cool idea
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2006-04-25 10:36:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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