IGKTW - Round One - Selfish Betrayal (505 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.86 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by promethias (View user info) at 2006-04-25 20:11:09 EDT
"Hey Aaron, you ever go outside and stare at the stars?"
"Doesn't everybody?"
"I don't"
"Why not?"
"Because every time I do I depress myself. I sit there, stare at the stars, think about all the crap that is bugging me, and think about all the things I will spend the rest of my life not having."
"Gabe, you have problems."
"Thanks for the help buddy. Way to lift me up."
"No prob—"
"Dumbass."
With that last remark I went outside and started laughing. I think it's kind of interesting how every friend I've ever had has been there to kick me when I am down; all but one of them, Kelly. We met around 5 years ago, our junior year of high school. I didn't talk to her a whole lot then, or anyone for that matter, but throughout the rest of high school we started talking a lot. I enjoyed talking to her because she was the first girl that I ever felt comfortable talking around, and she was also the first person that didn't go off and blab all my problems to other people.
Kelly is reasonably attractive. Who the hell am I kidding? She's beautiful, but I won't admit that to myself. I've never liked her in a romantic way. Why? I don't know. Kind of bothers me that I don't like the people that actually treat me nicely. Every girl I have dated has been nice for the first month, but then it all ends with a swift kick in the nuts and with a witch-like laugh fading as the wind of the slamming door hits my face.
I started walking over to her apartment; she lived in the same complex as I did. I looked up at the overcast night sky. It really was a beautiful night; clumps of stars peaking out through scattered holes in the clouds, and the faint smell of rain in the wind. I started letting my mind wander to my troubling thoughts and dropped my head in shame, trying only to focus on the cracked concrete sidewalk ahead of me.
I finally arrived at Kelly's apartment door knocked on the ugly brown door. Our apartment complex was honestly the most hideous thing I have ever seen. Whoever the smart decorator person was that thought it would look good to paint the buildings diarrhea color accented with cow pie ought to be shot. As I started to laugh, picturing myself yelling at the person that did that, the door swung open and the warm air from inside poured across my face.
"Gabe! How you doing? God you haven't come over here forever."
"I'm doing alright. Sorry that I haven't been coming over a lot lately; I've had a lot of things on my mind, and I don't like being around people when I'm like that."
"I know, you've told me before."
"Hmph."
"So what's up? What's bugging you?"
I sat there silently. I've never had a problem telling her what was on my mind but this time was different. I just figured that what was bothering me would label me as an asshole or something and it was just plain wrong.
"You aren't going to tell me are you? What if I guess?"
"Go for it."
"It's a girl problem isn't it?"
"Congratulations."
"Someone I know?"
"Yup."
"Is it Jane?"
"No."
As she started to rattle off all the people that she could think of that would interest me she just kept getting farther away from the answer. I don't know why it was so hard for me to just tell her, but I finally just sucked it up and told her.
"Alright this is rather annoying. I'll just tell you. It's, ummm, well." I stopped for a second and pushed all the air out of my lungs. "It's Amber."
"No way Gabe. Why?" she asked as she was laughing.
"You know, it's not like I asked for it to happen. I didn't just one day wake up and go, 'Hey, I want to date your sister."
"Sorry. I know. But are you going to do something about it?"
"That's what I've been thinking about. But I thought it would make me a bad friend or something if I went after your sister."
"How? It's not that big a deal. Just do it."
After discussing a few other things with Kelly I took off for the night with a little bit of peace in my heart. She helped me decide to try and date her sister.
Amber was exactly like Kelly, but completely different. They had the same personality but none of the same interests. Kelly liked keeping active, but with the boring stuff, while Amber wanted to run around and play sports.
I walked back to the apartment and shockingly Aaron hadn't gone to sleep yet. He was usually in bed by 10:00 and it was almost pushing midnight.
"Hey Gabe. How'd the talk go with your girlfriend?"
"Ah blow me. I told you I don't like her."
"Yah? BULLSHIT. You like her. you know you do. That's what's got you down so much lately. You don't know what to do."
"Trust me Aaron. It's not her that I like; it's Amber."
"GO FOR IT. Amber is gorgeous man, and from what I hear she likes you."
"Don't say that. You don't know what you are talking about."
"I do to. I talk to her all the time and so does Derek. She likes you man. Just go for it."
"I was planning on doing it. But Aaron, please don't get in the way. For once, just once I want to do something for my own damn self. I'm sick of people always trying to help the situation."
"Whatever man, just get on with it."
"I will, but it's going to take time. You know how she is; she likes things slow."
"Yah but you are a puss and talking things slow for you is holding her hand in 4 months."
"Still, just please stay out of it."
"Alright, I will."
Remember what I said about all my friends being there to kick me when I'm down. Both Derek and Aaron were two of those people. I'd lived with them for a few months and Derek was my cousin, and both of them still tried to screw me every chance they got. They did the same thing with this. They both tried to be the middleman, relaying the feelings I had for Amber to her, and hers back to me. I got so sick of it that I just stopped trying to do anything with Amber anymore, and I didn't for almost a month and a half. That's when I got a late night phone call from Kelly, and she was pissed.
"What the hell is wrong with Gabe? I told you that you could date my sister. I didn't tell you could lead her on and then just ignore her."
"I'm sorry Kelly, but you know, I got sick of it. After a straight month of taking her out, and talking to her, not once did she ever ask me to come over, or invite me to do anything. She never made like she liked me at all. That and Derek and Aaron kept trying to tell me all this random bull. Things they said came straight from her."
"Gabe, that's the biggest load of crap I've ever heard. What kind of things did they tell you that made you stop wanting to be around her?"
"Aaron said he went over there and she told him all kinds of stuff. About how she really liked me and that she actually said 'I could totally see myself married to Gabe,' yet she still didn't show the slightest bit of interest in me."
"Gabe, she did say those things. I was there when she said them, and don't forget, I'm her sister. She tells me these kinds of things; it's not like she can get around it considering we live together."
"Then why doesn't she do anything to show that?"
"She's nervous Gabe. Just do what you want, but don't ignore her anymore."
I hung up the phone and went on a midnight run to clear my head. After getting home and thinking about what Kelly had said I finally got to sleep around 3:00 in the morning. I didn't sleep all that well though; waking up every 30 minutes thinking about Amber what could be. Around 7:00 Aaron walked in my room and plopped down on the floor. It was way to early to be talking about this.
"Gabe, I talked to Amber last night."
"Way to keep your promise dude, good job."
"Yah I know, I just don't care."
"I can see that, go away I'm tired."
"Do you just like Amber because she's easy access?"
My head flared. I'd never gone from feeling tired to being monumentally pissed off in my entire life.
"What the hell kind of question is that? That is the dumbest question that I have ever heard."
"Just give me an answer."
"I told you how things ended up man. I told you how I liked Amber for a while and didn't want to do anything because of the very fact that she is Kelly's sister and I thought that was wrong. I told you that I still wished she wasn't because it makes things really awkward with Kelly; she looks at me differently now."
"That's what I told her."
"Wait. Amber asked if I thought I just liked her because she was easy access?"
"Kind of but not really. Listen Gabe. You've got a damn good chance with a girl that you like, and people don't get that very often. So I suggest you get up off your ass and do something about it."
My mind was racing. I didn't focus at all the whole day. I was still tired from the lack of sleep, the two hours of basketball the day before, and the midnight run that I just didn't function properly. I stared off into space the whole day trying to decide what to do. Finally, that night I decided what I was going to do. I walked over to Amber and Kelly's apartment and asked Amber out for the following night to watch the basketball game.
I thought it was weird how she seemed standoffish the whole night. She was usually pretty perky and excited about life when I did stuff with her, but something was different this night. As we stood there in the student section of the stands, she still wasn't talking. She didn't look at me, or anything, and figured what Kelly had said about her being nervous, and decided it was time. I reached down and grabbed her hand and held her close to me for the rest of the game, and she still didn't loosen up. The game finally ended and on the way to the car she wouldn't walk by my side, always ahead or behind. I knew that the rest of the night was going to be bad so I just took her home.
On the way home I couldn't stand the silence anymore.
"Look, I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable."
"Uncomfortable? No, I just didn't know that you liked me like that."
"How did you not know that I liked you? Derek told you, Aaron, Jack, Kelly, and even I told you that."
"Yah, I just thought you guys were all kidding."
"Yah, that's right. Five people all got together to tell random stuff to screw with your head. So what do you want to do about this?"
"I think, at least for now, we should just be friends."
"At least for now huh? What the hell does that mean? Did I do something?"
"I'm not doing this because I want to. Just know it's not because there's another guy."
We finally got back to her apartment and she started to grab the handle of the door. I grabbed her hand again, and she turned around and gave me a very tight hug, and apologized once more and went inside. I swear I almost saw a tear in her eye.
I was torn with had just happened. Hearing all the crap that I had in the last week I didn't know what to make of the situation. She never answered whether I'd done something or not. Hell she didn't answer any questions. I didn't have any reasons as to why this was happening. I opened the apartment door and saw Aaron sitting on the couch, again far too late for him to be awake.
"So how'd it go?"
"Just leave me alone."
"Yah, yesterday I forgot to tell you that Amber didn't want to date anyone right now."
"God I hate you Aaron."
"Yah, yah I try."
I walked up the stairs and called Kelly. I didn't want to be pushed farther down than I had already been.
"So did you decide what you were going to do with Amber?"
"Yah, apparently she didn't want any of the things you guys said she does. Must not like me after all."
"Oh? What happened?"
"She told me we should just be friends, at least for now, and didn't really say much else. Do you have any idea why she did that?"
"Last night, after you left, Aaron came over to talk to her, and well, I realized something Gabe. We have been friends for 5 years now, and we shouldn't deny what is actually there between us. So I asked her to not date you."
"You did...Huh?"
"I asked her to not date you, so that we could date."
I hung up on her and threw my phone at the wall. The antenna stuck in the wall and snapped off as the cover and various other parts fell to the floor. I couldn't believe what had happened. I changed my clothes and went for another run. Half way through I stopped in the park; laid down to look at the stars, and thought once again of the few things I would spend the rest of my life not having.
User Reviews
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-05-02 05:08:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
DOH
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-05-02 04:55:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
thank god somebody got a lower rating than me on this
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-05-02 04:42:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Now that round 1 is over I can rate this.
"Amber was exactly like Kelly, but completely different. They had the same personality but none of the same interests. Kelly liked keeping active, but with the boring stuff, while Amber wanted to run around and play sports. "
Exactly the same but completely different? That made me cringe a little.
Another post about Amber?
This was an ok post.
Submitted by gank (user info) at 2006-04-27 15:09:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The beginning hooked me, so I had to see how it ended up. And you ended it nicely. It was the middle that dragged on a bit. But it's good, especially for a first post.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-04-27 09:19:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
what they said. \/
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-04-27 05:36:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Pretty good. Not really bluesy though.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-26 11:24:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
To be honest, since you hadn't posted before, I thought you were an alter. It was a brave thing to enter a comp as an ubervirgin. Keep writing, man.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-04-26 08:39:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This was okay, but not really a good fit on the 'hard times' theme and not bluesy enough. Still worth reading.
Submitted by Stuch (user info) at 2006-04-26 08:13:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
0.5
Somewhat rushed and clichéd. Not that I didn't connect with the character - as said before, we've all been there - it just didn't go with the themes.
Submitted by Stuch (user info) at 2006-04-26 08:11:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-04-26 01:15:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for me being pissed you didn't attach any titty pictures. Fuck you.
Submitted by rockdocc (user info) at 2006-04-26 01:11:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
shoot kelly.
rape amber.
make aaron watch it.
see, it takes less than thirty seconds for me to fix your problems.
*********************************************
okay...enough of being a dick.
this was actually pretty damn good. So...if it's true, what are you going to do?
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-25 23:40:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It was ok. Didn't really ring true on the theme there, and I agree with Sacrilicious about the slightly cliched nature of it. Decent effort though.
Submitted by Promethias (user info) at 2006-04-25 23:05:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ya i understand. this weekend was kind of nuts so i didn't get to work on it like i was hoping i would be able to. i sat down and wrote it on monday, and didn't get to go through it and edit like i normally do to my stories (i usually cut a story about this size down to about 3/4 the current length and make it a little more interesting to read.) sorry for the late post as well, between classes. I probably shouldn't have signed up for this since finals week is just around the corner.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-25 20:43:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hmm. This was a familiar little anecdote that anyone who has gone to high school can surely relate to, and I don't mean to underestimate the true emotion those times can evoke. But this reads a little bit like a live journal entry, and that's about all I can say about it. I'm glad you didn't forfeit. This just isn't anywhere near the caliber of other entries in this competition, and the rating should reflect that. It would be more understandable if it wasn't posted hours after deadline. Sorry, man.