I Hate Called ID (511 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.35 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by GoldPlatedOrange <jimmyd274.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2006-04-26 07:41:33 EDT
You want to talk to someone, so you call them, but they're not there. You don't want to talk to them later. The moment is now. Gone. This is a spontaneous phone call. If you wanted them to call back, you'd leave a message, but you don't, so you don't. But what happens when they call you back anyway? You just became a victim of caller ID.
Argument one: caller ID is an affront to spontaneity. It should be the privilege of the caller, the person who has taken the initiative, to not leave a message. This classic privilege is, however, bitch-slapped around by caller ID.
Argument two: caller ID or the fear of caller ID fosters a generalized anxiety among callers, particularly effecting those already at risk for anxiety. Do they have it? Do they not have it? Will it detect me if I hang up fast enough? How much is too much? One solution is to have a caller ID warning system, which informs the caller when someone is using caller ID against them. At least then one could make an educated choice whether or not to be friends with that person. Note, I am certainly in favour of call blocking, court restraining orders and trap door mats to stem stalkers and stamp out solicitors, whom everyone agrees are bad.
Argument three is quite simple: Why the hell does anyone need caller ID in the first place? Using caller ID to "foil people" who choose not to leave messages has already been debunked in argument one. But then you'll say it's precisely these "spontaneous" friends who might hang up when you don't get to the phone on time. And you wouldn't want to miss them. Listen, you don't deserve them. And besides, there already is an automatic call back feature. The aptly named *69 feature. Using caller ID instead of writing down people's phone numbers means you either don't have any pens, you're a lazy piece of shit or both. Using caller ID as a means of "screening calls" is overkill considering that an answering machine already does that. Caller ID is like sex or Tevo. If it's free, then maybe, but I sure as hell ain't payin' for it.
The most Machiavellian use for caller ID I've heard is as a means of gaining a few seconds mental preparation before taking a call. This is actually not all that unreasonable considering the caller has always enjoyed a disproportionate advantage in planning. 'King Mustafa, Alexander the Great here, I'm giving you ten seconds to pray before I lob fifty tons of man-crushing stone on your sorry-ass palace.' Or, 'Hello, this is your wife. Just what the hell-' You can see how an extra couple of seconds might be useful, especially if you're up to no good. And believe me, you're up to no good. 'My dearest Alexander, that's what she said.' But despite this one potentially valid use for caller ID, the other ills are too great. In the end, caller ID amounts to legalized espionage and sanctioned neuroticism, and people who use it do so at their own risk, and mine.
User Reviews
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-04-26 17:32:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Weel you are pretty much hit or miss, and I'm afraid this was a miss.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-04-26 12:21:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by damage.com (user info) at 2006-04-26 12:15:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MichelleNJ (user info) at 2006-04-26 07:56:00 (#)
Ranking: -2
*76 blocks your number, just in case you're too stupid to know that.
Read this as "*76 blocks your mother". Read it that way TWICE.
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2006-04-26 12:02:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Yeah, your *friend* posted it..
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-04-26 10:04:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Almost forgot...
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-04-26 10:04:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by GoldPlatedOrange (user info) at 2006-04-26 08:56:54 (#)
Ranking: 0
Ten bucks I ain't, it was also his idea to post twice in a day, I'm gonna stop listening to him...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-04-26 08:42:50 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by GoldPlatedOrange (user info) at 2006-04-26 08:28:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for me being an idiot and letting my friend post
--------------
Ten bucks says you're fibbing...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by GoldPlatedOrange (user info) at 2006-04-26 08:28:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for me being an idiot and letting my friend post
----------------
-2 because you are a fucking idiot. Also, I refuse to believe you have friends,
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2006-04-26 08:57:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by GoldPlatedOrange (user info) at 2006-04-26 08:28:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for me being an idiot and letting my friend post
__________________
Own up. Never +2 yourself.
Submitted by GoldPlatedOrange (user info) at 2006-04-26 08:56:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ten bucks I ain't, it was also his idea to post twice in a day, I'm gonna stop listening to him...
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-04-26 08:42:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by GoldPlatedOrange (user info) at 2006-04-26 08:28:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for me being an idiot and letting my friend post
--------------
Ten bucks says you're fibbing...
Submitted by GoldPlatedOrange (user info) at 2006-04-26 08:28:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for me being an idiot and letting my friend post
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2006-04-26 08:21:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
man i read the title and knew there was a wealth of amazement inside.
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2006-04-26 08:09:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
There must be a function to hide Caller ID like that *69.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-04-26 08:01:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by MichelleNJ (user info) at 2006-04-26 07:56:00 (#)
Ranking: -2
*76 blocks your number, just in case you're too stupid to know that.
==============
*67
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-04-26 08:00:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought this was rather good. I liked the use of the word maciavellian particularly.
Submitted by MichelleNJ (user info) at 2006-04-26 07:56:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
*76 blocks your number, just in case you're too stupid to know that.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2006-04-26 07:55:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Shenannigans.
No one calls you back.
Submitted by el_em_en_oh (user info) at 2006-04-26 07:54:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Unless you're THIS person (http://blog.myspace.com/justagirl33, see Tuesday, April 04, 2006 post), then this is pretty much plagiarized.
Submitted by GoldPlatedOrange (user info) at 2006-04-26 07:47:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Title should be 'I Hate Caller ID' not Called, I'm a dumbass....
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-04-26 07:46:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
this suck pots